Chapter 1
“PROMISE ME!!” walburga spat the words out at her son. “promise me, promise me that you will never speak to that blood-betraying potter boy again. and lupin? a WEREWOLF? how could you? after everything i’ve done for yo-”
“leave them alone!” sirius shouted, finding the strength to stand. “leave. them. alone.”
“how dare you speak back to me; defending a half-breed and blood traitor? i am beyond ashamed. get out of my house.”
her hand closed tightly around sirius’ collar and he felt her nails scrape the back of his neck as she gathered the material in her fist.
“don’t bother coming back.”
“mum?” sirius looked up, trying to blink the loose strands of hair out of his eyes. the voice was quiet but it was still one that gave him hope. “pleas-?”
walburga turned to face her youngest child, not releasing her grip on sirius.
“you want this piece of vermin in your house?”
her eyes narrowed as she waited for an answer.
‘come on reg’ sirius thought to himself. ‘please.’
regulus breathed out shakily, unable to make eye contact with sirius as his voice cracked as he said “no.”
—
“james? can you come downstairs and clear the table please? it’s almost dinner time.”
as euphemia potter bustled around her kitchen, her eyes landed on a small, dark lump that had just appeared. it looked suspiciously like a dodgy attempt at apparating if she was honest with herself. she blinked a couple of times, straining her dark eyes as she peered through the window and into the dark street. as the pale body rolled over towards the glow of a streetlight, a bloodstain was revealed and the dark hair that had previously been strewn across the starved face fell away, causing realisation to fall upon her like a tonne of bricks.
“JAMES!”
“i’m coming! you didn’t need to yell again.”
“no, forget the table. isn’t that sirius?” euphemia asked, pointing through the window.
james followed her finger and his eyes widened: “oh my god. SIRIUS!”
sprinting into the road, james knelt down next to the shaking, bleeding body. passing in and out of consciousness, sirius cried faintly as he whispered: “i didn’t know where else to go.”
“it’s okay” james assured him. “we’ve got you.”
lifting him from the cold tarmac, fleamont carried sirius into the house before carefully lying him on the sofa.
“the missus has gone to get some bandages; you’ll be alright here, son.”
“wha-? no, i’ll be okay. i just nee-”
“to relax.”
euphemia reentered the living room with her arms full of blankets, thermometers and plasters. a mug of hot chocolate was levitating behind, following her into the room.
“just try not to close your eyes, okay? we don’t want to lose you forever.”
the healing charm burned but sirius didn’t show it. he propped himself up a bit higher against the arm of the sofa, looking around the room. james had lit a fire and above it the mantelpiece was covered with framed photos of happiness. sirius stared at them, thinking to himself who he how far away a future like that was for him.
he couldn’t help it. his eyes fluttered shut and he didn’t wake up until late afternoon the next day.
james potter was perched precariously at the opposite end of the sofa, looking down at sirius when he woke. sirius groaned and raised a hand gingerly to his head.
“mum’s made soup and says i can bring some in here for you if you want?”
sirius’ dark eyelashes untangled themselves as his eyes located the source of the sound. he looked up at james blankly.
“hmm?”
“i said there’s soup in the kitchen if you want it.” james smiled softly. “or i can bring some to you.”
“no, i’ll come to the other room.” sirius pulled the blanket up tighter around his body. his eyes landed on the empty fireplace and he felt suddenly cold. “where’s my shirt?” he asked, suddenly noticing the soft material of the blanket against his bare skin.
“mum put it in a wash - try and get the blood out, you know. anyway, i can just lend you something of mine.”
sirius nodded, not failing to notice james’ unusually cold tone. he watched as his best friend disappeared momentarily, before coming back downstairs with a jumper.
“this doesn’t fit me anymore” james told him as sirius yanked it over his head.
“yeah yeah. you’ve grown and i haven’t. no need to rub it in” sirius said with a sharp laugh.
as soon as he entered the kitchen, a warm, spicy smell filled sirius’ nostrils. he sniffed, a small smile spreading.
“here you go” fleamont said, placing a bowl down on the table. “there’s more on the stove should you want it.”
“oh err thank you but this looks like plenty.”
fleamont potter raised an eyebrow at james - the bowl was barely half full. james merely shrugged and chose a seat next to, but not opposite, sirius. he knew directly in front would too intrusive, especially right now. he watched for a minute as sirius made his way through the bowl, the metal spoon hitting the porcelain occasionally. james took a deep breath before asking the question that been on his mind since last night.
“what happened?”
“well” sirius began loudly, almost overconfidently. “she was cursing me because that’s what she does and i can’t do anything about it but then,” sirius paused and his fist tightened around the handle of the spoon as he remembered his mother’s words. “then she made fun of you and remus and his lycanthropy. james, the way she spat out your names, i just couldn’t take it anymore and remus never defends himself so i felt i had to do it for him.”
once sirius started, he couldn’t stop. every feeling he’d suppress came flowing out like a river that had burst its banks. he barely took the time to breathe as he relayed the story to james, whose heart was breaking as he listened to the nonchalance with which sirius so easily described his abuse.
“do you know what happened next? of course you don’t, that’s why i’m telling you.” sirius answered his own question with a hard laugh. “regulus fucking happened.”
james’ eyebrows furrowed momentarily: he’d never heard sirius talk about his brother before.
“HE TOOK HER FUCKING SIDE! HE DIDN’T WANT ME.”
sirius’ voice cracked and he buried his head in his hands, dark strands falling out from behind his ears and hiding his tears.
“he didn’t want me.”