Chapter 2
- You know, said Martha, leaning towards her, Shelby’s actually kind if you get to know her.
Toni promptly lifted her head from her parchment and rolled her eyes. She was laboriously trying to finish her History of Magic essay. It was due in a few hours and she was far from done.
- Not with that again, Marty. I’ve known her since first year and she’s a shitty person. Her boyfriend is Andrew Garfield for God’s sake !
- Yeah, but you never had a proper conversation with her that didn’t involve being mean to each other.
- It’s not my fault she hates me. Besides, I don’t trust Slytherins and she’s the OG Slytherin.
Martha looked at her best friend intently, her eyebrows furrowed in a pensive expression, like she was trying to figure her out.
- Except I’m pretty sure you hated her first. I get that Gryffindors and Slytherins have this stupid rivalry thing going on, but I don’t understand why you hate her so much. Do you remember that first day in the train ? She was actually pretty nice with us and you started going all aggro on her for…no apparent reason ?
Toni, already feeling defensive, was wondering how to answer that one - deep down, she knew Martha was kind of right - but thankfully, she was saved by Madam Pince, the librarian, who aggressively exhaled a surprising amount of air in their direction while glaring at them. They both went silent and Toni tried to shift her attention to her essay, something about the role of Giants in one of the countless wars that took place in the Wizarding World. Not that different from the ole Muggle World, thought Toni while absent-mindedly spinning her squill in her hand.
She absolutely knew which first day Martha was referring to. The memory was still vibrant in her mind almost seven years later, and if she closed her eyes, she could still see Shelby Goodkind as a ten years old - she was born in October - with her ridiculous ponytail and her sun soaked eyes, so eager, trying so hard… She could also vividly remember the first time she heard the word « muddblood » in the mouth of Andrew Garfield, who Shelby had been dating since the end of sixth year. So yes, it was only natural to hate her. Shelby, after all, had a lot of reasons to hate Toni : from her being a muggle born to her liking girls. It had been quite the deception, but the Wizarding World was in fact not free of homophobia, and it was notoriously known that Ancient Pureblood families like the Goodkinds considered « inversion », like they called it, to be a filthy Muggle perversion. Fortunately, every wizard wasn’t as close minded and there was a couple of students who were out like her in her year.
In fifth year, Martha had been appointed Prefect of Hufflepuff, something that made Toni’s heart swell with pride. But of course, little Miss Perfect had to be Prefect of her house too. Oh, how she hated seeing her gloat with that little pin shining on her chest ! From then on, Martha and Shelby slowly became friends, which annoyed Toni to no end, because her best friend would regularly try to prove that Shelby wasn’t as bad as she thought. Toni kept warning her that she wasn’t sincere in her friendship and that she was probably going to stab Martha in the back at some point, but after one memorable fight, Toni stopped saying these things. Her friendship with Martha was too precious to jeopardize over Shelby of all things.
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Toni, sat in Mrs Mc Gonagall’s office, was once again regretting her own impulsivity. Waiting for the old witch clad in her tartan dressing gown to finish making her tea, she was reflecting on what led her here, wondering what punishment she was gonna get this time.
It all started in Potion class, the last class of the day. It was also one they shared with Slytherins. Toni felt restless and irritated, and she didn’t know why. Maybe it was just the lack of sleep, her brain feeling like mush from finishing that painful essay earlier, or the fact that she was about to spend one whole hour in the same room as a certain blonde and her clique of insufferable friends. Dot, her closest friend in her own house, shot her a quick glance.
- You’re alright ?
They were standing in the corridor, waiting for the teacher to come. Toni shivered under her robe. This place was always so fucking cold.
- I can’t wait for this to be over. Why do we have to freeze in order to make some potions ?
- That’s why I always wear an extra layer on Tuesdays, replied Dot, always so practical. You should do the same. Merino wool, there’s nothing more insulating. Trust me, I’m never cold.
- It’s the snakes, muttered Toni, ignoring her friend’s remark. They need the cold temp to prevent their icy hearts from turning into puddles.
- Speaking of the wolf…
Shelby’s laugh ringed in her ears. There was always something fake, something exaggerated in her laugh, thought Toni. She was holding Andrew’s hand and they were surrounded by a few of their friends. What a douchy pack. As they passed by, Shelby’s gaze met hers for a second. Why did she look at her ? Her eyes didn’t seem agressive, it was just… an unreadable look, but what was so dangerous about Shelby was her dissimulative nature. Under her pristine glazing, Toni was sure she was hiding some pretty fucked up shit. She hated that she couldn’t figure out what she really thought. Feeling even more agitated, she tripped on her own backpack as they moved to enter class and let out a loud swear.
- Please keep your vulgarity to yourself, Miss Shalifoe, said a cold voice with an unpleasant ironic tinge. 10 points from Gryffindor.
Andrew and his friends sneered behind her back.
Toni felt rage rise in her body, she wanted to kick both Professor Snape and Andrew in the face. She clenched her fists and managed to keep her cool.
She was paired with Fatin Jadmani for the assignment : making a draught of living dead. Fatin was a tall and slender Slytherin who, Toni had to admit, had a knack for hilarious (or devastating, depending on your point of vue) one liners.
- Well, said Fatin while tying her dark hair behind her head, are you ready for this, my little lion cub ?
- Shut up Jadmani. I don’t have patience for your lame ass attempts at flirting, snapped Toni, her somber mood intensifying as she read the instructions in her manual. God this potion was so complex it was ridiculous ! And Fatin was far from being the best partner for this job. From having been once paired with her in fourth year, she knew the girl had a lazy streak and loathed getting her hands dirty.
- You flatter yourself, Shalifoe, I don’t do shorties.
Toni glared at her.
- I don’t. You flirt with every vaguely human shaped thing. I’m pretty sure I saw you flirt with the Bloody Baron once. You better help me this time or…
Fatin cut her with a loud laugh.
- Or what ? Relax ! It’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna get the supplies. You should try some yoga, by the way, it would do you good. I’ll give you a special invite to my club.
Fatin winked at her and swiftly disappeared before she could think of something to answer. What the fuck, thought Toni, her eyes wandering through the classroom, yoga ?? How does Fatin know about this muggle practice ? And club ?? What club ? This world was crazy. And her head was hurting, she was tired, she was so exasperated she wanted to break stuff. She conjured Martha’s sweet face in her mind and tried to listen the advice she would give her in this situation : calm down, breathe. Toni sharply inhaled as much air as she could. Shelby, passing near her desk, arms full of supplies, turned her head to look at her, surprised by the noise.
- What ?, barked Toni, her whole body suddenly tensing.
Shelby rolled her eyes and let out a deep sigh.
- Nothing. Am I not allowed to look at you ? Or does that qualify as an agression to you ?
No, not right now, she felt too fragile to bear the weight of Shelby’s eyes. Not that she would ever admit it to her or anyone else, but something about her gaze never failed to make her feel wide awake, alert, highly strung. It was ridiculous, really. She never hated anyone else in that way. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. Desperate to ease some of the tension she felt, she doodled Shelby’s face on the margin of her book and angrily crossed her eyes with black ink in an attempt to annihilate their power. She then stayed fixated on the back of her neck, two rows ahead, watching the movements of her blonde ponytail, which seemed endowed with a life of its own as she skipped from her cauldron to her desk, efficiently chopping the ingredients.
- Wow, who’s that ?
Fatin’s voice abruptly dragged her out of her trance.
- Nobody, panicked Toni, snapping her book shut and hastily averting her gaze from Shelby’s back.
Unfortunately, her eye movement didn’t escape Fatin’s scrutiny. Her amused eyes quickly went from Toni to Shelby.
- No way ! Is that Miss Ponytail ?
- I told you it’s no one, it’s just a stupid doodle, let out Toni in a harsh whisper, terrified of attracting attention. She felt herself getting sweaty. Suddenly the underground Potion classroom didn’t feel so cold.
- You really hate her. Do you have a crush on her ?, asked Fatin after a small pause, her eyes flashing with mischief.
Tony felt a furious blush ignite her cheeks. She couldn’t believe Fatin’s question. Her, a crush on Shelby ??! Shelby ??! God, why was she blushing so hard ? Fatin was going to minsinterpret that and take it as confirmation that she really had a crush on…
- No ! Are you crazy ? , retorted Toni, trying her best to keep her voice low.
And with an abrupt movement of her hand prompted by her defensiveness, she knocked a glass tube off the desk which shattered on the floor.
- Reparo, she muttered while waving her wand, glaring at the students who turned to look, her eyes carefully avoiding Shelby.
- Oh my God, you DO have a crush on her !
At this point, Toni was redder than the tie around her neck. Her whole body was hot and her heart was loudly beating in her ears. Her agitation, slowly accumulated during the day, was now reaching its peak. The whole situation seemed hilarious to Fatin, who wore a huge smile on her face. She was so stupid and enraging with her delusion, and Toni was terrified that she would suddenly call Shelby across the room with her loud, mocking voice, showing her the drawing and joyfully telling her that she had a... No, this couldn’t happen. Desperate to shut her up, she resorted to threats. She should have known it was a terrible idea, but Toni was the queen of bad decisions, and besides, she wasn’t really in a state to think at all.
- Shut up Jadmani ! If you don’t stop telling lies I’m gonna beat you up.
- Beat me up ? We’re not cavewomen are we ? God, you’re such a brute. What about a proper duel ? If you win, I’ll admit you’re right and I’ll never mention it again. If I win, you have to ask Shelby on a date.
Toni has never been able to say no to a dare.
- Okay. Tonight, eleven PM, Forbidden forest. And if I win, you also wear red and gold for the next Quidditch match. Prepare yourself to lose.