Tonight I believe that you are the reason I dream
Wrapped up in sheets, I'm wrapped up in everything
But here comes the light, stealing me back from you
Leaving the night, leaving me so confused
It was dark. It was always dark in the orphanage.
Tom was used to the dark, used to the shouts of his fellow orphans. He would never tell anyone, but every night he would pray to God, any God for that matter, to take him away. Far away from this place, a place where the air never screams, where the trees sing of beautiful melodies instead of terrifying screeches, where he could dream instead of lie awake, but it was pointless because despite those childish hopes, he knew no God would be of support for the darkness in him.
Until one day, at the tender age of 10, just after the clock struck midnight on his birthday, he slept and he dreamed. He dreams of a meadow just by the sea. It wasn't like anything he has ever seen or been to. He was immediately fascinated by the roaring waves, the tickle in his forearm as he felt the grass run pass through his pale skin. Then, there she was. Sitting by the edge of the grass, where the ground transitions from dirt to sand. He approached her cautiously, afraid of scaring her (and himself but he would never admit it). She sat, laying her head on both knees while admiring the view. It was only after Tom accidentally kicked a rock, did she realise another presence.
"Who goes there," Ellie was shocked. Never once, of the countless of travelling dreams, did she ever encounter another human. She peered to his shocked face as well, wondering if he is real or just another figment of her imagination sprung to life.
No, She wouldn't have been able to make up such a pretty face on her own.
Silence washed over them, neither said a word, either just staring at the other with the utmost concentration. He looked about her age, she noted.
The silence presumed longer than she deemed necessary so she decided to initiate contact first.
"Hello," Silence still, she sighed, "My name is Ellie, what's yours?". The boy looked at her with brimming curiosity, but still he didn't make any effort in replying. This pissed Ellie to an extent.
"Don't you know it's rude to not answer when somebody asks you a question," Ellie was never one good with keeping her emotions at bay, it had gotten her in trouble so many times, and sure enough the boy didn't look pleased, frankly he looked downright furious at her remark.
"How dare you, insignificant wench to talk to me like that!" He scoffed harshly at her blunt remark.
She swore she saw a flash of red course through his pupil, but that might just be a play of light -hold up- what the frick did this boy just say.
Honestly, she couldn't care less about that when this little boy just shouted at her.
"How funny considering you were the one interrupting my peaceful accommodation, arsehole." She shouted the last word to him, not even knowing what it meant but she knows it's bad considering her mother would scream it to her father every single chance she gets.
Again, there it is again, the flash of red. Tom was ready to throw hands when the ground started to shake and the last thing he saw was her face.
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Tom woke up, almost jumping from his creaky bed. His heart, emotions still reeling from the scene before. He placed his hands right where his heart is, trying to calm it down. He looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary, everything was right as he placed them the last time he placed them. So what was that.
It hurts his pride, and it terrifies him a bit, not knowing. While he spent the whole day thinking, brainstorming any possible reason for that occurrence, a girl also woke up, in galloping breaths while trying to piece back what happened last night.
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When night falls, both people sit perched upright on their bed. Both sat anxiously in their own respective beds, but only one felt a twinge of excitement at the idea of escaping reality, not that they would admit to it.
When the clock strikes midnight, like clockwork, both presumed a sleeping position, anticipating a dream and sure enough one came. This time, it was not a peaceful meadow, but a packed street, with bright-lit vendors screaming incoherent words that she concluded isn't her own. This was not a new sight for Ellie, many times before she moved from different settings of time and place, but tonight was too odd. Odd, in terms of ambience. Usually she would be transported into places like the meadows where no humans were of sight, only grasslands and the howling of winds.
She tried reaching out to the people around her, but no one seemed to notice her existence. She tried waving, touching, and all the kinds of senses there are, but nobody felt it. She was about to give up when someone abruptly pushed into her.
Then, again, she saw him, Tom Riddle.
In all of his glory, standing quite awkwardly as he saw who he had bumped into.
Then suddenly,
"OWW?!!" Tom harshly grabbed his arm and looked at Ellie indignantly, "What was that for?!". Ellie had seen the flash of red again, and unlike the other times when it filled her with dread, it now filled her with relief of something familiar.
"Sorry," Ellie tried smiling but it faltered when she saw the unimpressed look Tom was giving her,
"I needed to make sure you were real,"
"And pinching me like a 5 year old was your first option?!"
"It worked didn't it."
Tom glared at her. He stopped when he was reminded of the situation at hand. He turned back to Ellie who was also looking around, searching for clues. He stared at her, waiting for an explanation.
Ellie ignored his burning stare thinking it was temporary, but when it lasted longer than she deemed necessary she glared back,
"What is it!"
"Care to explain where we are," He said, adding an eye-roll.
"How am I supposed to know" Exasperated as she herself has been asking that since she got here. Well that train of thought was soon interrupted by a rush of flow in an unaware crowd going towards the south of the city. She tried to move opposite of the wave but it kept pulling and pulling until she herself got carried away.
She would've ended up trampled to death if it wasn't for Tom who took hold of her hand and rushed away the best he could, carrying two lives, away from the busy street and into a dark alleyway. There, two kids were seen slouching, trying to catch a breath. There was a moment of silence, along with a heated stare from the two before they looked around them.
It was a contrast to the place they were in, the dim-lit alley with scattering noises to which she presume was done by rats, falls behind in enthusiasm and warmth the brightly-lit street. Nevertheless, Ellie was glad to be rid of that overcrowded street, and she pulled Tom into another street perpendicular to the alley, far quieter than the previous one, but the warmth was there. They saw an open store and went to sit at the empty table in the corner.
"Let's take a breather. That was a nightmare"
Ellie tried talking to the indifferent boy. Now without the distracting crowds and noises, she can fully observe the boy sitting across her. He was far gaunter and grim looking, she saw a hint of bruising along his yet-developed cheekbones, and newer bruises around his wrist to which she saw accidentally whilst they were running.
Tom noticed her looking at his wrist, and immediately moved his arms under the table, out of sight. The girl was embarrassed at her rude staring and wanted to apologise but decided against it when she saw him. He's still holding his wrist, he had a "try me b*tch" face, and if it was someone else, she would've immediately fought them but she decided not to. Another good decision, she came to know later on.
Unlike the daft face, people said she has, Ellie likes to think she's good at reading situations, and she knows the boy is not in the mood to explain his story so she prod away from that topic. She started to talk about what happened that day. She talked about this annoying classmate of hers who always seems to 'accidentally' bump her table and how her hands would 'accidentally' swipe her belongings to the ground, and when she tried to tell the teacher, they blamed her for being too sensitive and too immature to see past an accident.
"I mean how can someone just 'accidentally' do bump a table 5 times in the span of an hour." She sputtered, ridiculousness married her face, "The teachers won't even believe and even if they did, they won't do anything either, cuz who'd step up for an orphan against a rich brat."
Ellie tried to stop herself from saying more, especially that last part, because it was too personal for a boy she has met twice in unnatural conditions to know, but ironically that was the thing that caught his attention most.
"You're an orphan?" He asked with a slight edge to his voice.
Ellie nodded like it was no big deal, but when the boy still seemed shocked by that revelation, she felt her face fall as incredulousness seeped in.
"What! Never seen an orphan before haven't you," Ellie was angry, thinking to herself that she's probably talking to another rich brat who wouldn't ever understand the predicament she's in. The kids in school don't, they seem to think it's alright to mock her for something she has no control of.
Tom knew he did something wrong, he beat himself inside for letting his shock show on his face. He was about to clear up the misunderstanding when the ground started shaking again, when the last thing he saw was her face.
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"ney, Morney!"
Ellie woke up from her stupor to see Billy edging his big ugly face at her. She schooled her features into indifference but found it hard when she saw his 'friends' approached her table too.
"What do you want, Kell?" Ellie said in a calm manner and apparently that warranted a slam on the table to which the teacher paid less to no attention to when she saw who it was.
"How dare you speak to me like that?" She sighed at how familiar that line sounded, yet she somehow prefers the boy in her dreams far more than Billy.
Her calmness irritated him more, so in his last attempt to rile her up, he swiped all of her books and stationery down to the ground, making a mess in the ground. Ellie saw red, she wanted to break things, to break him, right when she was about to throw hands, she was reminded of the boy and by some miracle, all the anger she had pent inside vanished.
Confused, but nevertheless she paid no more attention to it as she saw Billy and his gang move away before landing a nasty look towards her.
As she was picking up her things, she was again reminded of the boy, how he looked shocked and (almost) sorry before they faded back to reality. She then wonders who he was, why he was there, and even how he was. Was he happy right now, does he have friends, ... is he loved? If so, why was he with her, in her dreams? Then despite those contrasting things between them, can he stay?
On the other hand, Tom, too, was unable to concentrate on anything he was doing. Well, he kept doing his daily chores with perfection as to not warrant suspicion, but if anyone bothered to looked much closely, they would see the blank stares he would get when mopping the floor or how it would take almost half an hour before he turned a page when normally it would take him 5 minutes at most.
He wonders what she's doing, if he'll ever meet her again, because he couldn't let her go without explaining the miscommunication. He hated it when he got blamed for the things he didn't do, like stealing the ring from Ms.Cole's office, he hated not being able to tell her that he understood her, he hated that he might have ruined his only chance of a friend.
Little did both of them know, both were looking forward to tonight's meeting.
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The place they met was again an odd area by Ellie's standards. They arrived on the sidewalk of a car infested highway. Without that many people around, Ellie immediately zeroed in on the figure she was looking forward to tonight, at least before she remembered how last night ended. She struggled to find something to say when, to her surprise, Tom spoke first.
"I want to apologise for last night. Believe me when I say I didn't mean to offend you, I was just shocked, that's all." Tom finished his speech that he had practised, his finger wriggled around while he waited for her response. He had expected some snide remarks from her but instead he heard a small giggle coming out of the girl.
"Why are you laughing?!" Tom wanted to get mad but he saw no hint of ridicule at all in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, it was just shocking to hear you apologise," Ellie shrugs her shoulders, looking at him as if that's an obvious response to his apology.
"Well you should be honoured because that's the first and last time I'll be apologising to anyone."
"I'm sorry, did you say the first??!" Her eyes bulged out as if she heard him wrongly.
Tom snaked a smile seeing her expression before nodding. The two then chatted by the side of the road, late at night, sitting in the dirty road with absolute nonchalance at the car infested street beside them.
It was two kids finding solace in each other, like people finally seeing an oasis after getting stuck in the desert for who knows how long, the two of them slurped knowledge about each other with the utmost concentration and focus.
The two then spent every waking minute of their night, for a span of months, visiting each other in their dreams. They would talk about their problems in the day, their troubles, agonies, dreams, hopes, everything that defines who they are, to each other.
Ellie found out that Tom, like her, was also an orphan, yet unlike her he doesn't know any of his parents.
Tom found out that Ellie was an orphan by choice. She knew of her parents but things at home got so bad that the government felt it was safer to be in an orphanage than in the presence of her parents.
Ellie found out that Tom was a day older than her, well technically a year older, but she felt it was unfair especially when his birthday is at the end of the year and hers was in the first of the year. She also found out about his abusive household, if you can call an orphanage a household.
In a span of months, they both grew up, granted they were both mature enough as ten year olds, but they grew more in the presence of each other, in the presence of two individuals who care for one another more than anyone else would, and for their respective others, they would change to become a better person.
It was going well to be honest. Great, even. She found a friend, not a part of her soul in Tom, and she knows he did too. It was near damn impossible to meet in real life, frankly because both were criminally underage to be out and away from the orphanage so both decided to keep meeting in their dreams.
They both celebrated each other's milestones together wherever the dream takes them. On his eleventh birthday, he told her that he was a wizard. Ellie was in disbelief at first but at his insistence that it was the truth, she believed him immediately. On her twelve birthday, she got adopted. Her adopted family was good to her and that was all it took for Tom to be happy for her.
They got to talk and meet much less, but they like to think their connections grew from it. there wouldn't be a single minute where Tom was not in her mind when she's going through school, same goes for Tom.
Ellie would scold Tom for being a prick to those he calls "mudbloods", Tom would lecture her on keeping her emotions steady when she got suspended for kneeing Billy in the groin after he ripped up her homework.
They would have arguments here and there about little things. But on the night of Ellie's sixteenth birthday, they had a big fight. One that neither side could recover fully from.
(Flashback pov)
Ellie was sitting in this open restaurant by the busy street of Italy. She was searching for Tom who was abnormally late and when she found him, she saw that he wasn't in his best moods.
"What's wrong?" She tried asking only to meet a silently raging Tom. She was dumbfounded because this was the third time she had seen him acting like this, the first and second being the first and second meeting they had.
Ellie tried talking about her day only to see Tom not paying attention. For once, she felt betrayed by him. They both knew that their time together was extremely limited, and if he is going to spend the entire time sulking, she'd rather go somewhere else with peace.
"You can try talking to me instead of sulking around like a middle-aged man in a carnival."
Ellie tried keeping reign of her emotions, but failed to do so. She huffed an angry breath before trying to go away from him, only for her to feel him grabbing a corner of her attire. She was about to turn back pleased when she heard,
"It was your fault,"
Ellie stopped. She stood there rigidly, Tom's fingers no longer encircling around the thin fabric she's wearing.
"What?!" She whispered harshly, she looked back at Tom, only to see resentment in his eyes. She felt her heart break a little, as she wondered what she had done to cause such animosity within a span of a day. She was then reminded of her own painful childhood, her own other saying the same words. Tom knew this, so why would he do this unless to inflict pain on her.
"It was your fault," Again, he repeated but with more anger between his words, "Thanks to you, I got isolated and berated for being nice to those-, those mudbloods."
Seeing no response, he continued no matter how much it pains him to see that heartbroken look in her eyes.
"Your idea of befriending those low class vermins has landed me no benefits whatsoever and only animosity from those people who might actually have the power to help me get-"
"Alright that's enough" Ellie shouted at him. She doesn't recognise him anymore. In front of him was no longer the Tom Riddle she had spent countless nights with but the Tom Riddle she barely knew back in the 31st of December 1936.
"Why, Ellie, you have to get it in your head that it is harsh out there. How are we going to survive by being the good guy to the wrong crowd!"
"We do it by being ourselves. You're brilliant, Tom. You outsmarted everyone, you're polite, heck, you're the type to rethink and reword your sentences."
"That isn't enough. Don't you see, blood status trumps over anything. If you have the right blood and the right connections, it doesn't matter how smart or kind you are, it matters if you can fit in. We've been at the lowest of the food chain for so long, so why can't I have power"
"Because it stands against everything we stood for, Tom. We spent our childhood in dump orchestrated play where the rich powers over the poor. You're just dealing with a different version, same reality shit there. You're allowed to have power, but not one where you have to justify it."
"I have a chance here, Ellie. It's the only chance to fit in-"
"A chance to be someone you're not"
"It's a chance, a chance I'm not willing to lose, even-, even if it means losing-" Tom stutters for the first time, his eyes trembling as he looks at her.
"Losing what! If you're going to do this, then do it right. Say it to my face. Say it to the only person who understands you, Tom." Tears were already gathering in her eyes, she didn't let it drop, not yet, not while she's still in his presence. Back then she wouldn't think twice before showing her vulnerable side to him, but not now, not when it feels like an open wound.
"Even if it means losing you, I'd do it in a heartbeat."
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That was all it took. Contact was pretty much nonexistent after that. Tom was busy rebuilding his reputation while Ellie was busy picking up the pieces of their relationship, along with it several pieces of her heart.
Long gone was the truest relationship she ever had, long gone also was her first love.
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It was spring again, an air of cheeriness was everywhere for both the magical and the muggle world. Tom was ready for the next phase of his life, along with his minions who hold the pillars of the magical community. Not a nice bunch of humans they were, but Tom couldn't be picky.
Ellie was off finishing her primary studies, and moving into the next stage of her life. Both of them were moving further and further away in the axis of life, probably never meeting again, if it wasn't for fate.
Fate had been cruel to them once, but it's about to crash land on them for one last time. With it, severing their invisible string completely. Both of them were reaching their 19th birthday when news struck about Grindlewald being sighted across Little Bas, a well populated city, where he was raining terror on a family of pure bloods who defied him and his orders.It was also said that Dumbledore and several teams of aurors were heading there to fight. This news wouldn't have interested Tom if it wasn't for the name of the city which tickles his memory, he's not sure why it sounds familiar.
He would usually spend the rest of the day after his work in the ministry of magic, apparating straight home, but today he felt like strolling through the busy streets of Diagon Alley. Through his journey, he feels various senses of deja vu. When he saw children, particularly these two kids, a boy and a girl, the boy was holding her hands in fear of her getting lost. Tom tried very hard to rid himself of that memory, but no matter how hard he tried, Ellie was a big part of him, still is.
A journey that would've taken him minutes turned to an hour of journey before reaching home. He was about to open his door when he noticed it unlocked. Trepidation washed over him, he silently reached for his wand and opened the door slightly to make room for him. He reached the living room, where to his chagrin was Dumbledore.
"You can lower your wand, Mr. Riddle" Tom did as so, though with a little hesitation on his part.
"To what do I owe this pleasure, Professor." Tom said in a faux polite tone, although he knew it wouldn't work on Dumbledore.
"I remember visiting you in the orphanage. The matron had told me what a wild card you a-"
"Professor, I don't mean any disrespect but it would be best if you skip straight to the point. We both know, neither of us are patient enough to stick through with these formal pleasantries."
"Very well then." Dumbledore then handed Tom a photograph. It was a rusted, low quality picture, but he still remembers who it belonged to.
"Where did you get this?'' Tom urgently pestered his professor. Anxiety washed over him, when he saw the usual twinkle in his professor's eyes dim. Tom then remembered about his journey with the aurors to capture Grindelwald.
"No..."
"Tom-"
"No!," Tom was heaving deep breaths by now, his chest contracting whenever he thought of a possibility.
"Where did you get this!" Tom yelled, shooting the picture towards Dumbledore, craze in his eyes.
"It's better if you see it for yourself" Dumbledore sighed then handed out his hand, and off they went to the city of Little Bas.
Tom now remembers, it was a fleeting remark from Ellie, on where her childhood home resides.
As they landed on the ground, Tom started moving towards the centre of the city, not before hearing Dumbledore's last remark. 'I'm sorry for your loss.'
He could care less, because all he could think of is her. He steadied his pace, trying not to run as though he could prevent the inevitable by arriving slower.
There she was.
Just like the first time he saw her.
Only now, she was dead. His thoughts circled around those last words, again and again. The world buzzed around him, shouts, cries surrounded him but all he could see was her. It was always her. Her twinkling eyes were dead, her smile was dead, her hands were dead. She was dead, so was his heart.
Tom died with her, or he would like to believe he did.
Tom got cold, and even Dumbledore feared that he'd be getting back to his predestined ways, but he didn't. He couldn't entertain the mere idea of letting her down again.
With her gone, the days seemed to pass slower, the nights even more. He no longer could dream or fall asleep for that matter. All he could do is close his eyes and let his mind wander, memories of the past and visions of the future collide with each other, shaking his heart every step along the way.
Every waking minute, he wishes for his time to stop, for his heart to stop beating, for his eyes to stop opening, but he can't, not now, not when he doesn't deserve an easy out like death. He isn't ready yet, ready to face her, wherever she is. For now, he is content with memories of her, biding the day he deemed he's good enough to even be within a feet of her presence, till then he'll do good.
For the next 4 years, Tom Riddle stopped obsessing over the idea of power or his dream of ruling over people, now he readily served the community to the best of his ability. He became an auror at the recommendation of Albus Dumbledore, together they managed to capture Grindelwald and his army. He then retired as a staff member at Hogwarts, as a Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, becoming the youngest professor ever to achieve that position. He would resume that position for 30 years.
In his days, he saw the love stories that bloomed in the halls, and every now and then he would wonder about his and Ellie's love story if they were ever given a chance. Many women tried hard to fit a bit of themselves in his heart and mind, but little did they know, it was full. Full of her, her everything, leaving no space at all for anyone else to stay like she did.
He remained his days, single but not lonely. He saw the legendary one sided love James Potter had, which then turned into a very (gross) mutual attraction between his two top students. Everyone at Hogwarts knew their DADA Professor would be given special treatment by the Headmaster to leave school for four days, every year. Everyone would start rumours about it, some wondering if he was a werewolf, but that would get shot down easily by the smarter students, some might hit close to home when they mentioned it might be a memorial period. Only those really close to him know the darkness that festered inside him, but one should not worry because she handled it.
The girl in his wallet, a lovely picture of the two of them in front of a carousel, the girl was smiling brightly at the camera, while the boy was looking at the girl with absolute adoration. The girl in his dreams, Elizabeth Morney.
Nonetheless, this was a story about Tom Riddle. It wasn't necessarily a happy ending, but not a sad one either. Some mistakes were made, regrets were felt, even then all we can do is remember and walk forward.
I wanna close my eyes and sleep
Run to the place we used to meet
Cause I'd rather have you in my dreams
Than wake up without you
- We The Kings