Im just fucking with you
James day started off quite normally.
He woke up and then threw a pillow at Sirius and then got flipped off by them.
He then walked up to Remus and tickled that one spot behind his ear causing him to jolt upwards and shoot a stinging hex towards James which he dodged with practicable ease.
“Honestly Moony you can't shoot the same spell at me from the same angle every single day and not expect me to not dodge it.”
A low “Tosser” was all he heard in reply.
James then proceeded to walk over to Peter’s bed, crouch down low put his mouth to Peter’s ear and then on the top of his voice yelled,
“GOOD MORNING STARSHINE, THE EARTH SAYS HELLOOO”
Now, if this had gone as it usually would, Peter would have suddenly sat up and thrown a pillow at James' head, however he seemed to be prepared for the daily attack and just reached up and grabbed James' head in a headlock.
“oh my god i can't breathe” wheezed out James.
Peter put his mouth close to James’ ear and whispered, “can’t have you dying before you get married to your star”
James felt his face burn, pretty sure he resembled a tomato at this point.
Quickly jabbing Peter in his ribs, James got out of the headlock and pretty much ran to the bathroom ignoring Peter’s roaring laughter behind.
Washing his face and brushing his teeth he walked out not even bothering to do his hair, why waste his time honestly?
Peter and Remus had both left and Sirius was still in his bed snoring away. Honestly one could order a marching band and Sirius would sleep through it.
Well excessive measures may need to be used at this point.
James walked over to Sirius’ bed and sat on top of their stomach causing them to start coughing, eyelids still closed.
Whispering a small Aqua Eructo he put his wand to Sirius’ ear and then he got off of their stomach and watched as they slapped their ear repeatedly and then tilted their head downwards trying to get the water out, obviously unsuccessful.
“YOU FUCKING ARSE JUST YOU FUCKING WAIT”
James laughed loudly as he ran down the stairs of their dorm.
God. This day is off to a great start.
He slows down to a jog as he gets out of the common room and then eventually just stops to walk.
Humming to himself he nearly misses the small tap on his forearm,
Nearly
He looks behind and sees Regulus look towards him and turn a corner.
Smiling, he quickly follows Regulus and is led to an empty corridor.
“Hey” James greets Regulus, probably with the stupidest smile on his face.
He watches as the corners of Regulus’ quirk upwards.
“Hey, so umm… i’m sorry about last night”
Sorry about what?
In James’ memory he had had an amazing time, and in the end Regulus had made James feel proud of himself.
Nobody had ever managed to make him feel that confident in his most insecure insecurity.
“For?” asked James, thoroughly confused.
“I- umm Pandora told me that she won’t talk to me unless i said sorry to you because i kind of, maybe, might have forced you to tell me about your colorblindness with that basket and she said that it’s one of your biggest insecurities and i'm very sorry i really didn’t mean to force you had i known i woul-”
“Regulus, it’s fine, honestly, I'll talk to Dora,” said James, cutting off Regulus’ rambling.
“I’m still sorry though” said Regulus looking down
“No need as i said it’s okay.” it really was, everything that Regulus did was okay but James couldn’t tell him that so instead before he lost the newfound courage that had just sprouted in him, “Regulus?”
“Hm?” hummed Regulus back looking at him.
His eyes, oh his eyes, Regulus unlike Sirius had their mother’s cold grey eyes, the same eyes as all of his cousins, Sirius had once told James that out of all of their family they were the only one who had their father’s eyes.
“Quidditch pitch, tonight at ten” he said smiling like an idiot and rushed away to find Pandora.
Oh how he wished that they would have hugged again. James had only hugged him twice and he still was obsessed with Regulus’ hugs. James adored the way Regulus had to lift up a bit on his tippy toes to rest his chin on James’ shoulder and James just loved their height difference and how Regulus seemed so short compared to James.
It just made him go awww (a/n lmao im wheezing rn)
They weren’t even dating at the moment and Morganna James was acting like a lovesick child.
Not that he wasn't.
He shook his head to clear it and made his head focus on the task at hand, find Pandora.
But Regulus’ hair- whined a part of his brain.
Pandora. Scolded the other.
His lips- PANDORA
Merlin, they still had to carry out their prank and here he was chasing an overprotective best friend.
After about five minutes of intense searching he found her outside her common room.
“Dora!”
“James?” she asked enthusiastically.
“Waiting for Regulus?”
“He talked to you?” she asked, now confused.
“Dora, you’re an amazing friend but really you made him apologise for nothing. He did not force anything out of me and he was really nice about it. Apologise to him”
She looked down, “but I know you’re really insecure about it – not that you should be – I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
James lay his hand on Pandora’s shoulder, “i know and i fucking love you for it but please don’t make him feel bad”
Pandora nodded and then smirked, ugh- James already knew what was coming, “i won’t, good bye lover boy” she said before running off.
“FOR FUCKS SAKE” yelled James before he too took off towards the Great Hall.
★☆★
“I’ll do Slytherin,” said James.
“But I wanted to do it” said Sirius, fake pouting.
“Some other day my love” said James, winking as Peter let out a fond laugh and Remus smacked the back of his head, fondness clear on his face.
Truth be told he would’ve normally let Sirius do it but Regulus seemed to have forgotten James’ warning from the previous night and decided to sit in his usual spot, in the exact middle of the damn table.
Peter was doing the Ravenclaw table and James had told him to make sure that Pandora got baby blue short hair seeing as she’d been wanting to try it out for ages.
James aimed his wand at the Slytherin table quietly muttering a spell, steering clear off of Regulus’ group.
When he got to their group he gave Dorcas light green streaks in her braids, something Marlene had told him that Dorcas wanted, for Barty he made his light brown hair the traditional Malfoy blonde, and Evan Barty’s hair, just to check what their kids would look like as that was biologically impossible.
And then to Regulus.
Gosh
James can imagine that Regulus wouldn't be too pleased for having his hair dyed but unfortunately, he could not be saved.
So James gave him after much deliberation lilac streaks right at the bottom of his head and a few on the top.
And Merlin, he looked otherworldly.
He then swept his wand across the table giving Snape bright neon yellow hair and giving Mulciber shocking pink army cut while he gave the rest of their and white hair with neon yellow and shocking pink streaks.
Pleased with his work he went back to admiring Regulus, who was staring at his friends and then conjured up a mirror to look at himself before his eyes went wide with horror.
He put the mirror down and looked at James with such a murderous stare that if looks could kill, James would be chopped up strewn across the entire continent.
Okay maybe that was a tad bit dramatic, but Regulus did seem to be plotting his murder.
James squirmed under Regulus’ gaze as Peter nudged him,
“Got into his bad graces?”
“Bugger off” muttered James, throwing another look towards Regulus who now had Barty in a headlock before turning his attention towards his breakfast.
★☆★
Walking in Hogwarts today had been highly entertaining, some people seemed to love their hair whilst others were walking around with beanies on.
James was walking towards transfiguration when suddenly he was pulled into an empty classroom and around him stood Regulus, Pandora, Barty, Evan and Dorcas.
Oh shit.
He barely has time to breathe before Pandora tackled him into a hug, a squeezing hug.
“Dora, we talked about this” he says, struggling to get the words out, “i need to breathe” emphasising breathe.
Pandora pulls back, “i wouldn’t let you die silly”
“Well i certainly won’t mind it” mumbles James
“JAMES!” hisses Pandora
James holds his hands up in mock surrender muttering a ‘sorry’.
He’s about to ask Pandora about her hair when Regulus speaks.
His voice, gosh his voice, James could get drunk on his voice hell James could get drunk just looking at him
“Why do you and your gang of hooligans don’t have wild hair?” he asked indignantly.
Regulus looked so cute that James had to physically control himself so he didn't pinch Regulus’ cheeks.
“Because we sat at the end of the table,” explained James and then suddenly remembered, “i warned you last night”
Confusion then understanding flickers across Regulus’ face and then comes a look which clearly states, ‘Fucking hell, I’m an idiot’, which he’s not but he looks adorable with his eyebrows together and nose slightly scrunched up.
“He told you?!” demands Barty
“You didn’t tell us?!” scolds Evan
“You’re such a fucking idiot” says Dorcas
There's no way they're all scolding Regulus like that, not that James’ watch, no.
“Woah woah woah, no. Say sorry” says James looking pointedly at them all.
He watches as suddenly they all burst out laughing, including Regulus.
Barty leans in and whispers something into Regulus’ ear causing him to blush.
Oh what James wouldn't do to know what Barty had said.
And then suddenly Regulus has Evan in a headlock while he keeps on saying things in a hushed whisper to Regulus who then clamps a hand on Evan’s mouth.
Barty kicks Regulus’ legs causing him to fall down, Evan still in a headlock as he with his other hand tickles Barty’s knee pits causing him to also fall down.
At this point Dorcas has doubled over laughter and Pandora has her wand out.
All James can think is,
“What the fuck is going on?” he asks, horrified.
And now they’re all laughing.
What the actual fuck is going on.
“We were just messing around mate” says Evan and James just shakes his head.
“Green looks good on you” he says to Dorcas
“I've been wanting to get my hair done like this for so long, how’d you know?” asks Dorcas, eyes twinkling
“Marlene may have mentioned it”
“Oh my gosh, thankyou, i told her months ago”
“She told me the same day you told her, I think” says James, because he remembers that Marlene had been pacing in the common room trying to find a way for Dorcas to get her hair dyed, magically.
The Marauders had been planning the prank even then so he just told her to wait and life may make plans.
“You have a good memory” says Dorcas smiling, she truly does have a beautiful smile.
“He has beyond good memory, i told him about this exact haircut and hair colour last year and he somehow still remembers,” says Pandora, causing James’ face to heat up.
“Why do Evan and I have each other’s hair?” asks Barty.
“That's for me to know and you to find up” humours James.
“Bitch.” mutters Evan
“Tosser.” says James
“Wanker” counters Evan.
“Cul (arse)” says James back, forgetting that he doesn’t speak French at school.
“You speak French?!” asks Regulus, in a weird voice.
“Putain d'enfer (fucking hell) yes but please don’t tell Sirius, i quite enjoy them talking about Remus’ lips when they think nobody can understand”
It had been so hilarious when Sirius used to talk about what they’d like to do with Remus back in fourth year, and that was how he found out about Sirius’ crush on Moony.
What hadn’t been fun was hearing them moan in french, but every good thing has bad points too.
“That’s gross,” mutters Regulus causing James to start laughing.
He really wants that cute disgusted look on Regulus’ face again so he uses his natural talent of annoying people.
“tu devrais entendre leurs gémissements, 'oh moony, plus vite' (you should hear their moans, 'oh moony, faster')” says James.
“JAMES! That's répugnant (disgusting)” says Regulus, faking gagging sounds and YAY! The cute look is back on his face.
“Be glad you don’t share a dorm with them, more often than not i'm the one casting the silence charms”
“Informations inutiles, Potter (unnecessary information)” mutters Regulus.
James lets out a fake horrified gasp, “oh im Potter now? You wound me Regulus?”
James watches in awe as Regulus lets out a little chuckle.
James thought he could get drunk off of looking at Regulus, but if his laugh was a drink. James would drink himself to death.
“Je te deteste (i hate you)” mumbles Regulus
“What are you gonna do? Souhaite que je meure à nouveau? (Wish for me to die again?)” deadpans James
Regulus’ eyes widen as his senses seem to wake up immediately, “Oh merlin- James i said sorry!”
“I know, im just fucking with you” says James through his laughter.
And then Regulus blushes again as Pandora whispers something to him, causing her to giggle.
“I hate what you did to my hair.” Regulus says once he’s gone back to his normal colour, looking directly into James’ eyes
Once again James feels completely enamoured with Regulus’ eyes as they bore into his.
Perhaps it’s that which causes him to say what he does next or maybe it’s something else but that doesn’t change the fact that James thoroughly regrets saying it.
“I don’t, you look pretty” which is true because he looks phenomenal and then the reality of what he said sets in.
James feels his entire face heat up.
Of fuck, he messed up badly.
James can feel the anxiety settle in and he knows that slowly it will get harder to breathe especially with everyone looking at him like that.
He looks at Pandora for saving, who seems to get the message and reminds them all of the class that they are supposed to be at.
On the way out he is hugged by Dorcas, and fist-bumped by both Barty and Evan, another bone-crushing hug from Pandora.
He can pretend that he hates them but he knows that Pandora that he actually secretly loves them, as a thankyou he kisses the top of her head.
Pandora to him is like the sister he never had, they shared the same sibling love with each other.
They have had fights over the most pointless things like once James got a chocolate from Moony to share with he on one of their meets, and she insisted that James’ piece was a hair’s breadth bigger so naturally James refused to give it to her.
And them Pandora tried to snatch the chocolate so James being James, shoved it all into his mouth, chewed and swallowed and then put on his cockiest smile and punched the air in triumph
Then next week Pandora brought chocolate and only gave him one square of it.
James smiles unconsciously thinking about the memory.
“Goodbye Reggie” he says, ruffling Regulus’ hair before heading out.
He hears a grumble from Regulus, probably about not calling him ‘Reggie’ which makes him smile broadly as he runs to the transfiguration classroom.
He is very late.
End of ch6 pt1
𓆙𐂂𓆙𐂂𓆙𐂂𓆙𐂂