ma petite étoile
TW: a few detailed scenes of violence and use of heavy curses as well as torture, yk Walburga's A+ parenting. Oh and there's plenty blood too.
It will start and end with bold words.
Enjoyyy xx
We don't cry, we don't smile
We're good children
~ Nyx (2022) "we're good children"
ℜ𝔢𝔤𝔲𝔩𝔲𝔰:
Regulus quite literally didn't even know what to make of the entire conversation.
Part of him had fallen – if possible – even deeper in the endless hole known as Love For James Middle Name Unidentified Potter. For how could someone be so understanding, so caring, so loving?
Regulus had grown up thinking – not by choice – that love was a weakness, emotions are a weakness. The more you show, the less you know. Every emotion Regulus had ever shown had ended in him getting punished, in one way or another.
He still remembered what had happened the first time he had cried in front of his mother.
Usually whenever his mother was having a go at Sirius, he stayed in his room. He was ordered to stay in his room, however this time their mother had forgotten to directly order Regulus.
Regulus heard blood-curdling screams no doubt Sirius'. He rushed downstairs and he saw their mother standing in front of Sirius as she cast a curse on him. Regulus watched as Sirius screamed, clutching his sides, unaware of the tears running down Regulus' face.
Sirius screamed, a sound that sent shivers throughout Regulus' body, the only sound he hated more than anything in his life, he hated how hurt Sirius would get.
Suddenly a sob escaped out of Regulus' 12 year old throat.
Their mother snapped her head towards him, wrist raised, lips already forming the incantation, when he heard Sirius shout, "No! Please"
Regulus had never heard Sirius say please to their parents. Years later when he rethought about the events of that night he wondered if Sirius had ever done that before, begged for Regulus to not be tortured.
Their mother redirected he focus towards Sirius, and muttered viciously, "You want to protect him, then protect all you will, boy"
And with that she shouted a curse, and Regulus watched as Sirius let out an even worse scream as blood soaked through his shirt, the wound no doubt all across his chest.
Regulus' whole body shook as another sob found its way out of him, within less than a second, Walburga lifted the curse and sneered at Regulus.
"Does this hurt you, you foolish boy?" she said as she placed another curse on Sirius' body.
Regulus was soon ordered to go to his room while their mom stayed still torturing Sirius.
That was the one moment that Regulus hated himself more than anything present in this hideous world.
Late at night Regulus snuck into Sirius' room with bandages and antiseptic.
He entered Sirius' room and he saw a mass beneath the covers. He made his way over to Sirius' bed and nearly cried again at the sight.
He wasn't asleep, Sirius was just lying there upside down with t-shirts beneath him, to soak all the blood but still there was blood on his comforter, his bed and there was even a scar running from his temple to his ear, blood oozing out of it.
Regulus whimpered at the sight and then bracing himself, he slightly shook Sirius, as to not hurt him.
Sirius turned to look at him, his eyes half-lidded. He looked ten seconds away from death. Sirius' lips upturned just slightly as though even moving his lips were too much effort.
"Reggie, hi" he said, his voice bringing tears inside his eyes again. It was hoarse and barely even there.
Regulus spent the rest of the night trying to bandage up Sirius to the best of his abilities. He slipped into his own room only after he had made sure that Sirius was asleep. As soon as he arrived into his own room, he called Kreacher and ordered him to wash the bedding of Sirius' room as well as the blood soaked shirts and not tell mother and father about it.
It seemed like the least he could do, in return for what Sirius has done for him.
Before Sirius left, everything had been easy on him. Even though neither of them talked to each other at Hogwarts, Sirius would still always do his best to protect Regulus.
Regulus' first memory of Sirius protecting him was of when he was merely four and Sirius five.
Even at such a young age Sirius was extremely protective over Regulus. They were children, and as children do, they were running around the house playing tag. Sirius was ‘it’ so he was chasing Regulus, the both of them giggling.
Since Regulus was looking behind him, making funny faces at Sirius, he bumped into a table knocking off an antique vase.
The shattering sound made their mother come out of the study, with pure rage in her eyes.
"Which of you did it?" She asked sternly.
Regulus was scared, not being able to utter a word. He had done it and now he'd pay. He was frightened, until he heard a small voice say, "me".
He looked over at Sirius, amazed and utterly terrified on his behalf. He could've sworn he saw red flash through their mother's eyes.
"Go to your room Regulus, i need to take care of this incompetent imbecile" she said, practically spitting venom as she said the last two words.
Without a word, he left for his room. Late at night, Sirius sneaked into his room, and hugged him. Regulus knew he should've been the one comforting not seeking comfort but the way Sirius held him, it was like Sirius knew exactly how in need of comfort Regulus was at the moment, and what kind of comfort.
"I'm sorry" whispered Regulus, still pressed into Sirius' chest.
"Don't be, ma petite étoile (my little star)" was the whisper Regulus heard back
It had always amazed Regulus, Sirius had a very big heart, and with the help of people like James, who carried their love on their sleeves, Sirius became more and more comfortable showing his love as well.
Over time Regulus learnt and observed that Sirius really was a Gryffindor through and through. All that had been proven the day he ran away. The day he heard screams far worse than he had ever.
He was eternally grateful towards James for providing a home to his brother.
After Sirius ran away, Regulus really did try his best to hate James, for he was the reason Sirius even thought of running away, knowing he had someone to catch him if he fell. But god, Sirius didn't fall, he soared and James cheered him on, the fuel on which Sirius laughed, loved and lived.
But how could you hate someone when they smile at you with every passing, who are endlessly kind to people? You might as well be hating an angel.
Not that James was anything less than one.
His voice was as though it had been dipped in honey, his laugh was the sound of home, his brown eyes were the sole source of comfort in the world. The sparkle in his eyes, that of mischief, was the bringer of excitement. His smile, warm.
But what Regulus liked the most about him was the fight James had for his friends. The way his eyes would darken and his entire demeanor would change, should someone say or do anything against his friends, or the people he held deer (a/n lmao im funny like that) to his heart.
He remembered the one time he was passing in a corridor and James was for some reason without his gang of hooligans.
Severus shouted something about Sirius being the black sheep or something and in less than a second he strode over to Snape and shoved his wand under Snape's chin. He said something in an extremely low voice, Regulus had watched as Snape's eyes widened in horror. And then all of a sudden a professor came, even though they deducted a hefty amount of points from Gryffindor and even though James was given detention for the rest of the week, he walked away with even more pride.
One thing he absolutely didn't understand was why James had been so kind to him. Not just now but everyday.
From small smiled to the occasional raised eyebrows, as though to ask "how are you" Regulus' friends of course had noticed amd would tease him relentlessly, and some days when Regulus was feeling extra hopeful, he allowed himself to think that maybe his unrequited crush was so unrequited after all.
Speaking of his friends, they would kill him if he didn't tell them what happened, so he would tell them in the morning, the next day. Or not, since as he opened the door to his dormitory all of them were just sitting there, expectantly.
Barty, Evan and Dorcas were sitting together with Pandora splayed across their laps.
His first reaction was-
"Holy shit, how did you guys even manage to sneak Pan in here, and Cas? Why aren't you in the girls dormitories"
"You should sit, Regulus" Barty spoke in a weird voice, like one would expect detectives to speak in.
"For right now we ask and you answer" This was Evan in the same weird voice.
"I'm confused" said Regulus as he made his way to his own bed and sat down.
And then, Pandora jumped up and tackled him – fucking tackled him on his own bed – and soon they all joined and were now laying on top of Regulus.
As much as people thought that Regulus had a cold exterior, it was all pure, utter, bullocks because with the right people he could act like a fucking two year old.
And these idiots were the right people.
Regulus chuckled a bit breathlessly seeing as there were four teenagers splayed on top of him, "you fucking arseholes, move. I can't fucking breathe"
They got off one by one. Regulus let out a huffy breath.
"Gosh you bastards would've killed me"
"Oh what will we do, shall the great Regulus Black were to die?" Said Evan in a deep voice as he imitated fainting onto his bed.
"Oh how would we suffice" joined in Barty.
"James would kill us if he were to die on our watch" piped in Pandora, as all heads turned towards her, "What? I can see it in his aura, his is-"
"Okay no aura talks right now please, we need to see if Regulus is okay" said Dorcas in a motherly way, in their group they were the mother hen, constantly fretting over everyone.
Now all faces were looking towards him, eyes filled with worry.
"Where were you?"
"Oh c'mon, you all know that sometimes i need to take everything out so i go to the kitchens or the Astronomy tower"
They all did know it and had long ago accepted it.
"Well yes, BUT you disappeared without warning today, and then we went to check in both those places and you weren't there" said Dorcas, "Where were you?"
"I was in a corridor," Regulus answered, voice uncertain.
This was leading to a conversation that would have them all making an unrealistic love story of him and James.
"Why?" This time it was Barty that spoke.
"I- I knew you guys would try and find me so i decided to go somewhere I've never gone before, to be alone, but that didn't work out obviously," Regulus was starting to ramble, so he slightly shook his head, "nevertheless I'm sorry and I won't pull that shit again"
"Oh you definitely will not" said Dorcas.
"Wait, what is this about you being alone not working out?" Fuck you Evan and fuck your ability to notice everything.
Four curious faces turned towards him.
"Well umm, I was there, somebody found me and then I kind of dumped my traume on them and then they hugged me and wished me goodnight and I didn't feel bad anymore" Regulus said, trying to school his features as a small smile threatened to show itself.
"And who was this?" Asked Dorcas
"Yeah tell us so we can, I don't know give them a thankyou basket or something" Said Barty
"But you guys promise not to freak-out?" They all nodded, "James" well fuck all his efforts of trying to hide his damn smile.
"Potter?" Asked Barty
"Do we know other James-es"
"OH MY GOSH I KNEW THAT HE LIKED YOU TOO"
"CALM THE FUCK DOWN PAN" yelled Regulus, "you'll wake up everyone"
"Wait wait wait" muttered Dorcas, "he found you? And you told him your life's problems, you yelled at him and he hugged you?"
"I may or may not have also told him that i wished he were dead"
"DUDE WHAT THE FU-" Evans hand slaps on Barty's mouth.
"Man's got a bigger heart than this world" said Evan.
"Or maybe, he does like Regulus"
"Oh he obviously does" says Barty, Evan's hand now off of his mouth," I swear to god if you guys do not end up together i will write fanfiction for the two of you, in which you do" he says looking at Regulus, causing him to groan, his head falling into his hands
"And if they do I'm writing a book about their love story" Adds Dorcas, Regulus looks up to glare daggers at them
"If anybody writes anything on us, I'm going fucking kill you guys and then myself"
"But you love us" says Pandora dragging out the word 'love'
"I still think we ought to thank him somehow" says Barty
"He got to hug Reg, I'm pretty sure he's happy as it is" says Evan
"Or we can get them to kiss" suggests Dorcas, their eyes sparkling,"I could ask Marls for help, she is one of his bestfriends after all" Marls, full name Marlene McKinnon, was Dorcas' girlfriend. Their one year anniversary was just around the corner.
"I hate all of you, every single one of you" said Regulus, pointing at the lot of them.
"I'm not sure you do, i think you love us" says Pandora
"But not more than James though" says Evan, as they all burst into laughter.
With true Black dramatic flair, Regulus falls face first on his pillow, groaning.
"I'm going to sleep, fuck the lot of you"
"Yea yea go to sleep we'll still be here to bother you in the morning" says Pandora
It wasn't the first time the girls had slept over in their dormitory, and neither would it be the last.
Regulus spells his curtains shut, and lays in bed thinking about James Potter, his hugs, his lovely brown eyes, the dimple in one of his cheeks, his mop of dark brown unkept hair.
And if he went to sleep with a lovesick smile on his face, no one ought to know.
𓆙𐂂𓆙𐂂𓆙𐂂𓆙𐂂