The inevitables

Remus. Remus, Remus, Remus. Did you see what he was wearing? Did you hear what he was saying? Did the marauder join a gang? Are the marauders a gang now?

I was so tired I too almost suspected that my brother was part of a gang. Then I remembered who James was.

We spent all last discussing the war with our parents. Sirius spoke on what his family was doing, my father warned us about the other pure bloods at school, they had most certainly chosen a side. He told us to avoid war conversations as much as possibly, to not interject any of our opinions, but only to listen to others. Children will repeat their parents words, our observations will help our parents know who is on their side or not.

Then after, the three of us spoke on how we would help Remus. Sirius was determined to become a fully fledged animagus by next summer, we had so much work to do.

I was about to fall asleep when the entire train erupted about Remus. We watched him enter the train, he walked right passed our compartment.

“No. Way.” Marlene breathed at the sight of him.

“Hmm? Oh who’s that?” Mary only caught the back of him. Lily and my jaws were dropped. I’m used to Remus in big sweaters and jeans or his school uniform. But this…

“Oh my….” Lily was shocked. So was I.

“What? What am I missing?” Mary asked all of us. I stared at the kid with black boots, weirdly looking jeans, and a shirt that wasn’t him at all.

“Remus. That’s Remus.” I said, now it was Mary’s turn to be shocked.

“I totally get it now.” She breathed.

“Get what?” Marlene questioned.

“Lily’s obsessive fancy! I didn’t really get it when he was super dorky last year but wow.”

“Mary!” I lightly hit her arm which caused  Marlene to laugh so hard she almost fell out of her seat.

“I preferdorky boys, thank you very much. Not this new Remus.. this looks way too much like Sirius Black.” Lily shuddered and now I laughed. Sirius Black was the most well mannered boy I had ever met, this was not Sirius.

“You three need to spend more time with the boys! This is not Sirius, nor is it Remus.”

“I have a great idea on how we can spend lots of time with lots of guys.” Mary smiled mischievously.

“Oh no, I don’t care what it is. Just no.” Lily teased her.

“Hear me out! We host a big party filled with boys and all three of you have your first kiss!  Maybe even with tongue!” Mary smiled, no one else did. Marlene made a disgusted face. Marlene made us promise to never throw her a birthday party which always worked out because her birthday was in the summer. She hated the attention it brought. I’ll bet she thought Mary would spin this party as her birthday party which is why she seemed to hate the idea.

“I don’t want that.” I shook my head. I don’t want my first kiss to be forced! That would be horrible.

“Fine, we’ll discuss this later.” Mary shrugged.

“Until then, I want to know where Remus got that outfit!” Marlene laughed.

The Remus news died around dinner when we were all back in our school clothes which was good because he didn’t make it to the feast since it was a full moon. The meal and the sorting were average. It was hard to tell, but I think there were less kids than last year. Something tells me it’s because of the war.

After dinner, we took the family walk back to gryffindor tower, back to home. I missed the warmth the common room always welcomed me with, I missed my shared room  filled with so many memories and I missed the people that filled it. The tower was only home because my found family lives in it.

As I was about to go to my own room, a tug pulled me aside.

“Can I talk to you in private?” My brother asked so of course I agreed. I followed him up to his room. We sat in his bed as he muttered a silencing spell.

We sat in silence for a while, I worried what was going on. He seemed so down and so unlike himself. James was always the more positive one, he was always so much stronger than me emotionally. And physical. 

“Are you ok?” I asked, he nodded but I didn’t believe him. I gave him a suspicious look and he sighed.

“It’s just… it’s just that I don’t know how we’re supposed to do this.”

“To do what? Become animagi?” I thought of Remus and his transforming tonight. He was all alone in that little shack.

“To become animagi and help Remus, to learn about the war and help our parents, to eventually fight in the war one day. How are we supposed to do all of that?” He looked at me with his big brown eyes looking so sad. I remembered when we were six and he broke his arm trying to grow flowers with magic. He ended up upside down and fell onto his arm. He tried so hard not to cry as mom and I bandaged him up and mom mended his bones.

“Well..” honestly, I didn’t know the answer. How could we illegally become the youngest animagi ever? How could we start to fight a war at only fourteen? It all seemed way too big, too much. I needed to break it down. “Well, right now we won’t be doing any of that. We can’t. It would be impossible to just become an animagi, that’s why we do it in steps. Luckily for us, the beginning of fighting a war and becoming animagi is very similar. We must first master transfiguration, potions, defense against the dark arts, and history of magic. We do that by taking time to practice each subject. We will brew potions, transfigure buttons, study text books, maybe even duel each other. We will be practicing a lot this year and when we’re finally ready we will start the process. But we can’t start fighting or transforming until we’ve worked for it. That’s how we’ll do it all. I promise.”

My words gave my bother some relief, I saw it in his eyes. But he was still worried and I don’t blame him. Everything we were doing this year would prepare us for the rest of our lives. This time, I knew how to cheer him up. Just like the time James broke his arm, or when I fell off of my broom or when I cried because the outdoor cat stopped showing up at our house. It was a silly song the two of us made up, but it always made either one of us smile.

“Close your eyes

and dream of living happily

take a breath

We’re the heroes magically

It’s you and me against the world

When you down, I’ll come concerned

So please stay strong and brave,

And close your eyes”

James smiled at the song with only two verses and no chorus. We were four when we made this, we each have a verse. James took a deep breath.

“Close your eyes

Pretend your flying far away

Be prepared

You know that I’ll be on my way

It’s you and me against them all

Say the word, I’ll come fast and tall

So please stay steady and wise

And close your eyes”