The inevitables

 I was writing my parents (an individual letter to the both of them). Mary was writing her boyfriend while complaining that it would be so much easier with a ‘fone’, Lily was studying for end of the year exams, and Marlene went to the library so we wouldn’t distract her studies. I probably should’ve been studying too. James was bragging how this year he’ll beat me for top marks this year now that he’s actually studying. I didn’t mind if he ‘beat me’, he deserved to earn top marks after working hard. However, I have always been the smart and prepared twin. Not him. I will definitely study later today. 

“The ingredients to polyjuice potion… what are the ingredients to polyjuice… I- I can’t remember.. I’m going to fail! I can’t do this!” Lily dropped her face into her book, so I decided to finish my writing. 

“Lil, breathe. Polyjuice potion is hard, plus you’ve been studying all day, you’re just tired.” I walked over to Lily’s bed to sit with her. I’m not sure where her stress comes from. I don’t think that  her parents know much about the wizard world let alone care about her marks. All this internal stress about driving herself to be the best came from somewhere, but where? I was unsure. 

She took a few deep breaths, and put her pencil down. 

“I can’t fail this!” 

“Slughorn loves you, even if you did fail, he’d probably fix your grade anyways.” Mary laughed and walked over holding her letter. 

“He would not!” Lily smiled through her watery eyes. 

“Mmm.. he probably would. Or Snape would say you two switched tests and take the failing grade. He’s practically obsessed with you.” I teased her, her eyes opened wide. 

“You’ve noticed that too? I feel like he’s gotten more and more attached. Some days he scares me how possessive he is.” Lily shook like she had gotten the chills. 

“Ok! I’ve decided, we need a break.” Mary put her letter in an envelope and sealed it. She then brought me my two letters. 

“A break from studying or boys?” Lily asked. I closed my two letters in envelopes and sealed them. 

“Both. Book, boys, brothers… babies.” Mary pointed to Lily for books, herself for boys, and me for brothers.” 

“Babies?” I asked. 

“I couldn’t think of another b word.” Mary shrugged, we all laughed. 

“To the owlery we go!” Lily stood as the three of us left our troubles at the door. 

The only bad thing about the owlery was the smell. The house elves cleaned the tower every night, but the owls were faster than the elves could ever clean. Owls were known for being wise and strategic, they think through every single thing they ever do. They can find anything they need and are one of the smartest birds around. Every continent has some species of owl and some believe that the species understand the language in which they live. So every owl knows English, every chouette knows French, every búho knows Spanish. I’ve always loved owls, my mum used to say they remind her of me. 

We have a family owl named Zukio, but my father keeps her at home now because of what’s happening with the muggle born hatred. So now I’ve been asking the school owls to send my letters. 

The owlery wasn’t empty when we arrived, there was a boy only slightly smaller than me. He was skinny with jet black hair and the sharpest bone structure in this school. Well.. maybe the second most, after his older brother. 

The two of us haven't spoken since he called me off limits. I’m not sure why I cared so much, it’s not like we were even friends. 

“Hi Regulus.” I announced myself when entering the tower. He nodded at the sight of me. “Who’re you writing?” 

“Why would I tell you?” He spoke in his normal cold ‘I hate you’ voice. 

“It’s just a question.” My own voice wasn’t small or weak, it was calm. I never understood why he was so defensive against me. Even after his meltdown, I have no clue. To me there was no reason not to be civil. 

“Well don’t ask it.” 

“Why can’t you be nice? It would've been so much easier to say ‘Hi Hazel, I’m writing my mum’.  Why can’t you just say so?” 

“You know why.” 

“No, I don’t. I’ve thought about what you said and I don’t get it. It’s your own life Regulus so live it. Your brother still-” 

“My brother is a fool who is going to get himself killed!” At that moment he looked so much older than thirteen. He looked like he stressed over every single movement and thought he ever made. He was scared his parents would hurt himself, or worse they’d go after Sirius once more. 

“He doesn’t have to, neither do you. You could-” 

“Goodbye Hazel, have a good summer.” Regulus brushed past me and left the tower, for the first time I realized my friends never walked in. They were waiting outside. 

“Mer. lin’s. Beard. I could feel the tension between you two!” Mary swooned into the room with the cheesiest smile on her face. 

“What are you talking about?” I asked. 

“You being with a boy whose brother would probably take you down with every book you’ve ever read.” 

“You are both crazy! I do not fancy Regulus!”  

“Mhm sure.” Mary spoke like she would never believe me. I do not fancy Regulus. He confuses me. He comes and speaks to me whenever he pleases, then he acts like he hates my guts. He’s told me off because if he was ever even sighted speaking with me he would be disowned. I am his worst fear and his rebellion at the same time. I am not interested in snogging him or going on dates. I am interested in seeing him happy and not afraid to be whoever he wants to be. 

“He definitely fancies you though.” Lily giggled. “He was so defensive just to tell you to have a good summer!” 

“The black brothers are famous for not being able to show their feelings. I spent loads of time with Sirius and he was basically the same, just not as extreme. Baby Black likes you!” Mary squealed and hugged me. I didn’t understand what the big deal was. Regulus Black does not fancy me and I do not fancy Regulus Black.

“Let’s just send these letters and go back to studying. Break’s over.” I sighed and gave my letters to an owl. 

“You can move from the conversation all you want, but no one can deny love!” Lily grinned. Thank goodness Marlene wasn’t here or she might have thrown up. I was getting there. 

******

I got top in Runes and transfiguration, Remus in care of magical creatures and History of Magic, Sirius in Arithmancy, Lily in Potions, James in Defense against the Dark arts and to everyone's surprise, Divination. Everyone's notes were filled with A’s and O’s except for Peter who just wasn’t a good test taker. All in all, the year ended out strong. 

James packed for Sirius since we all knew he wasn’t going to. He’s been sentenced to staying at his house, but I’m not sure how long that’ll last. I assume he’ll find one way or another to come to our home. 

James spent days trying to convince Remus to stay over, Lily spent equal amounts of time trying to get me at her house. Remus and I both refused. Remus said it was against the law for his to stay over, I said I would miss my parents too much. That wasn’t really the truth. My parents are worried more than ever these days. They said once we get home we are not leaving alone ever. They said they’ll explain more once we get home, I’m worried the war has advanced more than they hoped. 

James, Peter, and I are going to spend the summer brewing potions. You don’t need direct magic for that so it’s not against the law. We’re going to practice before next year when we start the animagus process. 

Lily gave me muggle books so I could do better in muggle studies next year, it was my only A in my exams. I did do better than Sirius and James which was a plus. 

“I am going to miss you soooooo much!” Lily held onto me tight. “I’m writing every single day.” 

“The offer still stands for you to stay at my place.” I hugged her back. 

“I’ll think about it. Maybe I’ll get away from Tuny and Sev.” She smiled, actually considering it. Maybe she does love me more than she dislikes James. I’ll take that as a win. 

Mary and Marlene were separating this summer as Marlene was traveling with Danny’s quidditch team and Mary was spending the months with her boyfriend. It was probably good they were separating. 

I hugged my friends in a group hug once last time for the year before we got on the train.