"I have to go, Reggie."
"I'm tired, Sirius."
Wiping the blood off his lip, Sirius halts in his retreat from his sister's room. He turns to look at her, sitting perfectly still in the chair at her vanity.
"What do you mean?"
Reggie looks at the scissors in her hands, a pair stolen from God knows where. They're a pearly white color, cold encrusted in the handle. Why anyone would make a pair of scissors so intricate, Sirius has no idea.
"Reggie?"
"I can't do this anymore. I want to go."
"I can't take you with me, ok? I don't know where I'm going, and-"
"You're going to the Potter's, don't lie." She hisses, turning to him. He's never seen her this angry, venom in her eyes and words. If he didn't know any better, he'd think she was on the verge of throwing the scissors at him. But she won't. She loves him too much, and he's willing to use it to his advantage right now.
"You don't want to take me with you. You want to go to him and find yourself a new family, one that's not tainted. You don't want me making a stain on your friends. You think- you think I'll corrupt them or something!" She shouts, and Sirius has half the mind to tell her to quiet down, but thinks better of it. She might actually throw the scissors at him if he does.
"Reggie, that isn't true."
"Then give me a real fucking reason that you won't take me!"
Her tone, coupled with the fact that he has never once heard his sister swear, is enough that he finds the words tumbling out of his mouth before he can stop it.
"Because you won't be able to get out."
Reggie stares at him, her hardened eyes slipping back into that horrible stone mask she keeps in place.
"Alright then."
She looks back into the mirror, and Sirius realizes then that she's started crying. Not nearly enough to be easily noticeable, but he can see the shimmer of them on her eyelashes.
"Reg, I'll come back for you, I sw-"
"Take me with you, or don't talk to me again."
He takes a step backward from where he was taking cautious ones towards her, shocked.
"Reg-"
"Those are your options. Either take me, or leave me."
"Reggie, that's not-"
"Decide, Sirius."
And he's sure it's the wrong one. He's positive. But he can't help but keep walking, kiss the top of his sister's head, and head back for the door. He hears her sniffle as his back is turned, but the moment he’s faced toward her it’s gone.
"I love you, Reg. I'll be back, I swear."
"I hope you rot in hell."
He swallows back the whimper of pain, pretending it's from his foot catching against the doorway. He catches one last glimpse of his sister in the crack of the door, lifting the scissors to her hair, before it shuts, and he's heading out into the cold, dark entrance hall of his family's home for the last time
He takes the first bus he can find, depleting the minimal stash of money he could grab. It was just barely enough to get him to the Potter's.
And when he gets to their doorstep, his best friend opens the door.
His best friend, who he so readily left his sister for, who cleans the blood from his face and hands, draws him a bath, and holds him while he cries.
Reggie never did any of that stuff, if he's being completely honest.
Well, once. She wiped the blood from his neck, curled herself around him, and fell asleep in the most protective stance she could muster. He couldn't. The way she held onto him, desperate to give him some semblance of the defense he’d given, made him want to stay awake.
He missed her, even if he'd been gone barely three hours by the time James is tucked into bed beside him, his arms a poor replacement for that of his sister's.
-_-_-_-_-
He doesn't see her again for another ten years.
And when he does, she is not the same person.
Gone is the poised and elegant sister, who was harsh and bitter, willing to do anything for their mother in a blink of an eye. Instead, he's got a brother. A brother who is still bitter and hurt, glaring at him from across the living room. He's still elegant, however, practically gliding across the kitchen floor into his boyfriend’s arms, sliding gracefully on top of the kitchen counter as he's forced to stay.
"Reggie-"
"I don't see you rotting in hell.”
James scolds and adds a kiss to the side of his head with a deep sigh. Sirius falters and stops at the bar counter, slipping his head into his hands as he stares at his brother.
His brother, who he so easily abandoned.
"Re-"
"My name is Regulus. You will refer to me as Regulus. You don't have any right to use any other name."
Oh, he wants to die. Death would be better than that look, right? Anything is better than that look of hatred and resentment and of aching.
James sighed again, resting his hand carefully on his boyfriend’s cheek, which was pushed away.
"You knew me, and you didn't even think to mention that you were best friends with my fucking brother?"
"I didn't know it was you."
"I thought you were dead." Sirius interrupts their bickering, and Regulus' eyes snap toward him. Maybe, there'd be remorse instead of cruelty, if he hadn't willingly left him.
Maybe.
"I asked for you, I asked your bloody boyfriend and friends and even Narcissa and they all said you were dead."
Regulus smiles, cocks his head to the side, and pouts.
"Maybe that wouldn't have happened if you gave a shit."