Discretion of the sacred corpse
That logo music just gets you pumped! Shocking, am I right? Hi writers and all you lemon makers all over the internet, it's me, Deadpool the merc with a mouth. I was really worried after Fox got bought by Disney. I thought I'd never appear again but I guess the jokes on them! And now they wanted me to make a movie that's right what they wanted ME to do it. You know the one guy that shouldn't have gotten his own movie franchise after his first shitty appearance in Wolverine Origins, heh heh Marvel's so stupid! Now listen we all know the title of this fanfic or Wattpad story so the main question on your mind is…
How are we gonna do this movie without dishonouring Logan's memory well the thing is…
Earth 1005
Deadpool is near the grave of Logan before he looks at the camera saying. "We're not!" Deadpool snapped his fingers as Yukio and Colossus as they began helping the merc dig the grave.
"Come on, the fate of our world is at stake, let's wake Logan from his little dirt nap!" Deadpool said to his friends as Warhead said on her phone.
"Wade, this is a horrible idea, we're digging up a corpse HIS CORPSE!" Deadpool however replied. "Hey you wanna save our damn timeline or not? The author didn't decide to have you here to give you all more screen time in the movie and this is a novelisation."
Warhead sighed as she joined in digging the corpse as Yukio then said in worry to see what they had unearthed as they found what they were looking for before taking a step back. "Oh dear."
Deadpool chuckles as Colossus winces as he and Yukio move out of the way as Deadpool is standing over the corpse that is the Wolverine.
"Ah Yes, yes, yes." Deadpool then yelled as he slammed the shovel into the made X on the grave. "GODDAMNIT! YOU SON OF A! BITCH!" He then breaks his shovel as he continues ranting in anger.
"FUCK! YOU UNGRATEFUL MOTHERFUCKER! MY WORLD IS F-"
"Ah hahaha! I suddenly feel much better and so calm." Deadpool said with a smile sitting next to the corpse of Logan on the same tree that killed the corpse.
"Listen, I am not some random man of science who can bring you back to life or give you a new actor." Deadpool chuckles as he looks at the lifeless body "Gotta be honest I always wanted to do this team up and I always wanted you on my team Deadpool and Wolverine just fucking shit up!"
Deadpool looks at the skeleton as he keeps talking. "Could you imagine all the fun we could have, all the chaos we could create and even residuals." Deadpool then moves the skeleton's jaw making it say. "G'day mate! There's nothing that'll bring me back to life faster than a big bag of Marvel cash!" Deadpool laughs as he then says.
"Oh me to Hugh me too! But nope you just had to be all noble and god fucking die! We could really use your help right about now please!"
Just then Colossus came over as Deadpool then said looking at the mutant. "What I'm having a bro moment here!" But the metal hero then said. "We're about to have trouble they have found us."
Just then they notice orange portals opening up as all four of them notice these men walking out of them armed with baton sticks and guns as Deadpool gasped as Yukoi and Warhead joined them to find cover.
"Hi!" Deadpool said cheerfully before the Minutemen shoot at Deadpool before he ducks before he then shouts. "WAIT! I'M WARNING I AM NOT ALONE!"
"Wade Winston Willson, Piotr Nikolaievitch Rasputin, Eloise Phimister and Yukio you're all under arrest for crimes against the Time Variance Authority! Come out with your hands up and your weapons on the ground this is your last chance!"
Deadpool then said from behind the tree not caring about it. "Listen Leemore Marrett I'm not giving you and your boys my weapons but I promise not to use them!"
Deadpool then looks at the camera. "Now there are 206 bones in the human body. 207 if I'm watching Gossip Girl. Here we go! Maximum effort."
Colossus sighed knowing what he was gonna do as Nega-sonic and Yukio nodded as the pink haired girl brought out her sword.
"Okay peanut looks like we're getting that team up after all!" Before using the skeleton's body as a weapon, each of the Adamantium bones were used to kill the TVA agents.
Colossus was dodging and weaving from bullets before doing a mighty uppercut on a Minutemen as he was flung into some of his pals.
Yukio was using her katana blocking each of the agents attacking going on the offence as she slashes the time sticks in two before kicking them down.
Deadpool is then seen dancing to some music while using Logan's spinal cord to kill some TVA agents.
Warhead was using her explosive powers to blow some agents before running to each of them and placing a bomb on each of them and then smirking at them and snapping her fingers and blowing them up as the agents yelled in pain.
Deadpool then throws Logan's fingers into some agents and kills them with ease he grabs a dead agent and takes a quick selfie before grabbing Logan's skull and kicking it into the agents killing them with Deadpool yelling.
"GOAL!"
Warhead and Yukio battle some Minutemen and stab them with their own time sticks, banishing them to the void before rushing over to aid Colossus who was beating up some agents as the three of them took out some agents with teamwork.
Deadpool then grabbed Logan's hands and wrapped them around his hands something almost like the shredder does when he wears his gauntlets before seeing the claws spring Deadpool chuckles.
"Oh yeah I'm soaking wet now!" Deadpool roars before he narrates.
"You see this isn't who I really am, the violence the destruction and somehow bringing my buddies into their own mess because the author wanted to give them more screen time than the movie so I think we need to go back to where it all started around the time of march 14 2018 the time where Cable was about to snap his grubby fingers at the MCU."