"He has a fucking boyfriend, Remus"
꧁꧂= pov change, but it has been
taking place at somewhat the same time, i mean you'll understand as you read it.
𝓙𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓼
It hadn't even been a single day since he found out that Regulus had a boyfriend, and here he was standing in front of the oven as he opens the oven door to take out a batch of cookies he made for him whilst getting lecture about how he should ask Regulus out.
"Oh c'mon" he says, "it's obvious how fucking in love the both of you are, like you guys are over each other all the time – and dont you fucking 'that's cause we're best friends' me, anyone with eyes can see that the two of you are more – you guys have matching tattoos for fucks sake AND the both of you go on dates twice a week 'friends' my arse, just ask him out already"
James, who was now on his last nerve, said, or more like yelled, "You wanna know why I don't ask him out? That's 'cause he has a boyfriend!" slamming the tray of cookies on the counter top,"he has a fucking boyfriend Remus" he repeats, softly now.
In an instant Remus' hands are around James,"come on lets sit down'' Remus whispers softly, guiding James' body to the sofa.
"It's okay, James"
"I know it is, and y'know I'm glad that he found someone who makes him happy, i really fucking am even if its not me but you know what hurts? When all of you make those comments about us" he chokes out a dry laugh, "it's like a fucking reminder, like; oh look! You like him, love him even and he doesn't, look you weren't en-" James cuts himself off, nobody knows that James doesn't feel enough, nobody knows how often James cries in the safety of this four-walled bedroom, nobody knows how fucking broken he is, because he's always putting others back together, always the shoulder that people cry on, not the one who needs the shoulder.
"James, look at me, you're more than enough, okay?"
James nods, because what can he do after breaking down over a stupid fucking crush?
Fuck he broke down.
On one of his best friend's shoulders.
And he saw him.
Shit.
James pulls away, "Shit sorry I didn't mean to cry, fuck" says James rubbing his eyes.
"It's fine James, honestly, you know it's okay to cry every once in a while?"
"I know but it's just that- i don't know I don't want to be a burden"
"Are we a burden when we come to you to vent, or cry or even ask you to make us stuff?"
"Oh god no! I didn't mean it like that," he says shaking his head,fuck he did not mean it like that, why did it come out like that? Can't he even manage to say a proper fucking sentence now? " no you guys- you guys aren't a burden okay? I enjoy looking after you guys and being there for you guys. Please don't think that"
"Exactly James, in this same way, you aren't a burden either, when was the last time you cried?"
"I- uhh this morning….." he says wincing.
Remus look absolutely horrified,
"What?? And you didn't think to tell any of us?"
"Don't worry Moony it's not like it was the first time, it's quite a regular th-"
Fucking hell why was he revealing everything today.
He needs to catch his tongue before he says somethig else like, how he often he has panic attacks.
"James!" Remus says quite loudly, sighing, which if you ask James is quite dramatic and not that necessary, but then again he is in a relationship with Sirius so they were bound to rub off on him sooner or later.
"You can't do that!"
James really doesn't wanna be talking about this right now
"Look Remus I've been dealing with this shit for years and will continue to deal with it, okay? Don't worry yourself."
Oh would you look at that, another secret out.
God is today James exploitation day?
Remus looks at him, eyes as wide as fucking saucers.
"Years-" Remus takes in a deep breath as though he couldnt even belive what he was hearing, "does your mother know?"
"Tell her and make her worry? Absolutely not."
Remus runs a hand over his face.
"You know what? You are not in the mood for this conversation-" ahhh so now he catches on, "-so we are going to eat the cookies and then you will try and get over your heartbreak and we will talk about this when you want, BUT this conversation has not ended"
"Ofcourse, mum"
"Nah thats you" said Remus getting up.
James chuckles lightly, "hurry up, i really wanna eat the cookies"
"I wanna eat them more" replies Remus coming to sit beside him with the cookies.
They each took a cookie and Remus sighed as he wuite literally melted into the sofa while biting the cookie, "this" he says with his mouth full, "is pure bliss, better than whiskey even"
"Thankyou Moony"
𖣔
They had eaten all the cookies and were now lounging on the sofa, discussing random topics.
"Prongs?"
"Hm?"
"Are you gonna write a new song for the gig next week"
They had formed a band back in highschool but at the time they didn't want anyone to know, so they named themselves the marauders and wore eye masks, which represented their respective animals.
A dog for Sirius as Padfoot, a stag for James as Prongs, a rat as Peter for Wormtail, and then however a werewolf wasn't an animal, it still seemed to be the most fitting for Remus as Moony.
They had gained quite the popularity in highschool, whenever their band would play in school, everyone would come to watch.
Then slowly they started getting more and more gigs, and even now they played quite alot.
Peter was their pianist, Sirius was their lead singer as well as the drummer, while both Remus and James played guitars.
"Yeah, I have been writing one and I just finished it a few days ago, been practicing my classical guitar with it, i think i have a tune."
"Who's singing it?"
"I- ummm i was kind of wondering if i could sing it….? Though any of you can do it if that is what you guys want."
"Oh my gosh! really?? James, wow" said Remus excited,"we'll finally hear you sing! I've been waiting for this moment my entire life!"
See? That's what happens when you live with Sirius, you become too overdramatic.
"Oh c'mon, it isn't that big of a deal"
"We have never heard you sing, even Wormy sings once in a while"
It was true, while all of his friends had sung atleast once, James never sung infront of anyone, perhaps in the shower but mever infront if people per se.
He had always been more of a writer than singer, though he really enjoyed singing while nobody was around.
And goddamn him if he wasn't nervous, 'cause he really was but the excitement overruled it.
"Yeah, I mean I'm pretty sure I'm not that good as Pads or you or Wormy, but I don't know, i may be decent… i think"
"Oh honey I'll be the judge of that" replies Remus, and then his eyes lit up with mischief and curiosity, "Who is the song about?"
"Huh?"
"Whenever you write a song its always about something specific, you don't like to write meaningless songs"
"Regulus" said James looking down
"You wrote a song about him?"
"Yes but I'd been working on it before, well, i found out he was y'know taken, now i just gotta hope against hope that he remains as oblivious as he has been for the past years, maybe even more."
"James, would it be so bad if he were to find out?"
Yes
Yes
Yes
It would ruin everything
James already felt like a bad friend, because while he cared for Regulus, so fucking much, he still wanted more from him, eventhough he never said it, it felt like taking advantage of their friendship. And maybe that made him a bad friend, he wasn't sure.
He really didn't know.
"I don't know, i think, yes" replied James closing his eyes as he ponders for a moment, "i think i may have let him find out before i knew he was dating someone, but i can't now, not when he's happy"
James didn't even have the small amount of hope – however false – that maybe, just maybe Regulus liked him back, but in the end thats Regulus Arcturus Black while James was, well, just James.
Even false hope wouldn't be doing him any good now.
Remus reached over and pulled James into a tight hug,
"James you deserve so much, i can't wait for you to find someone who gives you the world, because i know you'll give them the whole universe."
"Me neither, mate" said James as he pulled out of his hug.
"Oh gosh, too much sappy shit for today"
"The greenhouse academy?"
"The greenhouse academy" agreed James as he reached over to grab the remote, "not too much though, i have lunch with Reg in 2 hours, at 3"
"Okay, chips or biscuits?" Asks Remus as he gets up from the couch to go grab some snacks,
"Chips, we had cookies already remember?"
"Never too much sweetness, honey"
"Sod off"
꧁꧂
𝓡𝓮𝓰𝓾𝓵𝓾𝓼
Regulus is running late, not much though just 4 minutes, which means a lot to Regulus because he is always on time, just not when he meets his bestfriends because they can wait can't they?
But to be fair, none of his bestfriends are on time anyways so they all just show up at random variations of the actual time.
It adds fun in life.
Which is good seeing as Regulus' life usually lacks it.
JL<3:
Hey im reserving a table for us
I'm waiting
Im early ik
Are you close?❤️
I am entering
Oh! I see you.
𖣔
The date had been fine overall.
It's just that Jace was extremely kind of self obsessed, which kind of made up for Regulus' lack of self-confidence but after hearing about how he supposedly got a full scholarship in the best university of America but turned it down because he wanted to stay near home, Regulus was tired and would quite literally be doing anything other than whatever this was.
But he supposed this is what came with being in a relationship, you appreciate and bear° the things about your partner, even if you don't like those things.
Jace and Regulus had started dating a month ago, when he had come into the library and sat infront of Regulus – who had been greatly annoyed by his presence – and then after studying for less than 5 minutes asked Regulus out on a date.
Now you see Regulus didn't get asked out often so naturally Regulus said yes, however he made it clear that they would spend the first few dates getting to know each other, and they had. Apart from the times during which Jace was bragging about stuff he supposedly did, he had started to like him and then a month ago they made themselves exclusive.
Even though Regulus wasn't wholely over James, he could see himself having a future with Jace.
Regulus checked the time, it was 1:30 pm already, he needed to get to the mall soon.
"Jace, I promised some friends to meet them at 1, I'm already late. Lets call it a day and I'll FaceTime you at night?"
They often did this, FaceTime-ing each other at night for half an hour or so, until Regulus would say that he's sleepy (even when he's not) and then leave.
"But i wanted to watch some movies with you" he said fake pouting.
"But i promis-"
"C'mon Regs, you can't even make time for your boyfriend, surely your friends won't mind." He said a bit more firmly now.
Compromises thought Regulus
Yea thats what relationships are about.
He pulls out his phone to quickly text Evan,
Evs:
I can't come today
Tell cas and pan please
I'm with Jace (boyfriend)
He looks over to see Jace smiling at him, he links his hand with Regulus' and leads them both to his car.
All Regulus can do is hope for the best.
☾︎𖣔𖣔☽︎
End of chapter 2 pt1