Chapter 2
Silence fell over the compartment at Colonello’s outburst. Normally Colonello would have found the way everyone exchanged befuddled looks amusing, but this time he was just as lost as everyone else. Actually, more than everyone else, considering he was apparently back in the past over forty years ago. His body felt scrawny. Weak. Nothing like his cursed toddler body or his adult form from his days as a soldier.
“Since when do you know Italian?” Hermione asked after a moment, snapping Colonello out of his mental assessment.
“Really Hermione? That’s what you choose to focus on? Those weird cloaked creeps nearly killed him!” Ron exclaimed. Colonello internally rolled his eyes. While he loved his friends, their bickering never actually went away as thy got older. He was certainly glad to escape the majority of it after leaving England.
Clearing his throat, Colonello pushed himself off the floor. After taking a second to brush some imaginary dust off his clothes, he sat down in the seat closest to him.
“I’m fine guys,” Colonello said. He had to bite his tongue to contain the instinct to add his usual Kora to the end of the sentence. It was a silly verbal tick he picked up in the military but never bothered to try and get rid of. His fellow Arcobaleno only encouraged it over the years that they knew each other. Before long, Kora had become another piece to who Colonello was. However, considering the weight of glasses on his nose and the fact he wasn't stupified by Lupin the second he woke up, Colonello wasn't Colonello anymore. At least not physically. His mind was still that of Colonello, but his body was that of his thirteen year old self. Back to when he was still Harry Potter.
“You sure mate? You sound like a yank,” Ron commented. Colonello sweatdropped. Trust Ron to pick up on the little things immediately. Colonello hasn't used a british accent since the day he left England and joined the military at eighteen. This was going to be harder than he thought.
To answer Ron, he nodded and cleared his throat again, harder this time, before speaking. “Yeah I’m sure,” he said, focusing on how he spoke so his old accent was in place. Hopefully it wouldn't sound too off and he could pass off any oddness as residual effects from the dementor attack.
“To answer your question,” Colonello turned towards Hermione as he spoke. “I started learning Italian over the summer so I had something to distract me from being stuck with the Dursleys. You know how they are. It at least gave me something to do during the constant chores. I haven't learned much, but I did pick up a few phrases,” Colonello explained. Which was partially true. Except it was also a complete lie. COlonello started learning Italian during the summer after his fourth year at Hogwarts to occupy the time in the early mornings after he would wake from his nightmares. By the time of what was supposed to be his seventh year, he had become passable in the language. Or at the very least he could hold a simple conversation. So when England became too suffocating after the war, it was a simple decision to change his appearance and move to Italy. Joining the military was unexpected, but Colonello found himself feeling more relaxed in boot camp than he ever had before. Then he met Lal and the rest was history.
“Why Italian?” Hermione asked curiously, always the one seeking information. Colonello shrugged, not really having an answer.
“Impulse mostly. The Dursleys wanted pasta for dinner and that made me think of Italian,” he answered easily. That part was true at least. Now that he thought about it, most of the languages Colonello had learned were picked because of a dish he ate somewhere. Skull was craving sushi and Colonello started learning japanese later that week. Luce brought macarons home one day and Colonello ate his while starting french lessons. He never really noticed that until just now, so that was an interesting discovery. Hermione and Ron simply nodded in understanding. They knew how random his train of thought could be sometimes.
“Well I am glad you are alright Harry,” Remus said. Based on the slightly startled looks from his friends, they had forgotten he was there. Remus reached into his pocket and pulled out a slab of chocolate the size of a book. And not just a normal sized book, which was bad enough, but a book the size of one Hermione considered “light” reading. There must have been a featherlight charm on it, because when Remus handed it to Colonello the chocolate weighed the same as a normal sized hershey bar. Colonello was expecting it to be at least a few pounds so the difference was startling. Another thing he would have to get used to again. Magic making things completely illogical. At least with Flames there was a system to the madness.
“Here. Eat this. It will help with any after effects from the dementors. I am going to check on the conductor and other students,” Remus stated, turning and leaving the compartment hurriedly. Colonello merely sighed. Remus’ chocolate addiction knew no bounds.
“There is no way I can eat this. You wouldn't happen to have a plastic bag I can put this in would you?” Colonello asked, looking at Hermione. He didn't expect her to actually have one, but Hermione proved herself to always be prepared when she riffled through her trunk and pulled out a gallon sized ziplock bag of muggle sweets. It was a simple matter to dump out the candy so they could repurpose the bag, although she did have to cast a shrinking charm on the chocolate slab so it would actually fit.
“Oh don't give me that look,” Hermione chided as she caught Ron playfully scowling at her for hiding the sweets. “I was planning to surprise you guys once we made it back to the dorms.”
“Thanks Mione. We appreciate it,” Colonello said. It was taking all his willpower not to slip up and say Kora or drop his accent for the more familiar italian one. He may be a professional and could handle undercover ops like any other Arcobaleno (yes, even Skull) but Reborn was the one in their group of misfits that thrived doing them. The hitman loved making various disguises to the point Skull had asked if he had a cosplay fetish. Colonello had laughed so hard that day that tears were literally streaming down his face. He repaid Skull for that laugh by making sure Reborn didn't catch him. It ended up with the two of them sparring outside but it was worth it since Colonello could use that joke forever.
Colonello zipped the bag closed and paused, noticing the silence that had fallen over the compartment. He looked up to see Hermione blinking in surprise, her cheeks a light pink, while Ron looked between the two of them in confusion.
“Mione?” Hermione repeated and Colonello made a noise of understanding. He didn't start calling her by a nickname until they were on the horcrux hunt. Whoops. At least it wasn't a major slip up.
“Sorry. I wasn't thinking. Mione is a nickname I thought up for you. I won't use it if you font like it,” Colonello said awkwardly. Hermione shook her head at him, although her blush darkened a shade.
“It’s alright. I was just surprised is all. I don't mind if you guys call me Mione,” she said smiling. Colonello answered it with a grin of his own.
“Can’t wait to hear what you come up with for my nickname,” Ron joked. Colonello thought for a moment, his easygoing grin turning mischievous.
“I was thinking WonWon,” Colonello said, smirking. Hermione had to throw her hands over her mouth to stop herself from laughing at the look on Ron’s face.
“Pass. Anything but that,” Ron begged, looking horrified. Colonello’s smirk widened, showing his teeth. Challenge accepted.
“But WonWon. I don’t want to leave you out,” Colonello pouted. He then lit up, as if having an idea. “Oh I know! I can call you Schnookems!” Ron’s eyes widened in fear.
“Please no.”
“Smoochiepoo?” Colonello suggested. Ron shook his head. Then Hermione joined in and Colonello enjoyed watching Ron pale with every name they suggested.
“Cuddlepuss.”
“Diddums.”
“Tibbles.”
“Snoogiewoogie.”
“Sugarpie.”
Honeybunch.”
Creampuff.”
“Not that one Harry. That’ll just make him hungry when he hears it,” Hermione told him through her giggles. Colonello threw his hands in the air.
“Well the only thing I have left is calling him Babe so what do you have?” he asked, playing up the dramatics. Ron shook his head frantically and Colonello worried it would somehow detach with the speed he was reaching.
“Babe is fine!” Ron shouted. “We don’t need anymore ideas!” Colonello tilted his head to the side innocently.
“Are you sure? I really don’t mind trying to brainstorm more ideas,” Colonello said innocently. Ron nodded, still looking mildly terrified.
“I like Babe. It’s simple and doesn’t sound ridiculous,” Ron said. Colonello grinned. Ron truly had no idea what he just signed up for.
“No take backsies! Your name is forever Babe now!” Colonello declared, pointing at Ron. Hermione finally lost the battle of holding back her laughter. She collapsed on the closest chair, clutching her sides and laughing so hard she was gasping for air. She almost fell off the seat at one point, which sent Ron into his own laugh attack. Colonello watched them fondly. He missed this.
“Well you three seem to be in better spirits than the rest of the train,” Remus commented, appearing in the doorway of their compartment. Colonello took over speaking, giving Ron and Hermione a moment to recover.
“Professor Lupin…to be honest we are kinda already used to things trying to kill us. Making us a little sad or reliving bad memories doesn’t really compare to a basilisk nearly eating you,” Colonello explained. He would have to be careful to only use examples from his first two years at Hogwarts, but there was still a crazy amount of choices to pick from regardless.
“Or a troll attack in the girl’s bathroom,” Hermione chimed in. She was still slightly out of breath, Colonello noticed with amusement.
“Hoard of giant acromantula,” Ron added, shuddering at the memory.
“Don’t forget the incident with the whopping willow.”
“Or Fluffy the Cerberus.”
“See Professor? Stuff tries to kill us all the time. And knowing my luck it'll only get worse as the years go on,” Colonello muttered. That was an understatement of epic proportions. That was like saying Fon was good at keeping calm or Viper liked counting change on occasion. Completely downplaying the truth. Plus, one mission with the Arcobaleno topped literally everything he had to deal with at Hogwarts combined, so there was that to think about.
Remus looked at the trio in worry. Maybe it was a bit mean to manipulate Remus’ protective instincts like that, but Colonello felt it was necessary. Perhaps it would help Remus realize that Dumbledore wasn’t as light of a Wizard as he pretended to be.