“Professor, I swear, everyday I notice more and more how hot it is when Malfoy speaks French, it’s so bloody annoying.” Harry rants to Remus through the floo network in the common room after a class with Snape and the other fifth years.
“I understand, used to do the same thing to me.”
“You think Malfoy speaking French is hot?!”
Remus laughs and shakes his head, “No! No, no, I was simply charmed by a different Black speaking French.”
Harry is confused by this, “Who-“ He starts to question before hearing a plate crash from presumably the kitchen.
“Putain d'assiette, pourquoi diable ma chère vieille mère a-t-elle dû acheter une telle porcelaine?!” Someone says, quickly and angrily.
Harry hears Remus chuckle once more and then he yells, “Dear, I thought you’d have learned to be careful with your mothers china.”
Dear??? Who is Remus speaking to, and whose mothers china is he talking about. Harry is very confused.
“Well Remus,” the voice begins and instantly Harry recognizes the voice, “I do enjoy destroying the plates that I’ve eaten on in my childhood.”
“‘Course you do, Sirius, Harry is here over floo if you want to say hello.” Remus' face appears again in the fireplace, accompanied by Sirius’.
“Wait, is Sirius the person you were talking about?!” Harry asks quietly, still shocked.
“Indeed.”
“Hold up, you two were talking about me?”
“Pads, Harry was ranting to me about his trouble with the Malfoy Heir speaking French and I simply said that I’ve had similar experiences.”
“Knew I seduced you with French,” Sirius says triumphantly.
Harry stays where he is, crouched over the fireplace, shocked at the news that he’s getting.
“Wait- what? Are you two? Are you two together?”
Sirius bursts out laughing and his head disappears from the fireplace, “Yeah Prongslet, I’ve been Moonys partner since fifth year, well, not consecutively.”
“Fifth- fifth year, wait, mine or yours?”
“Ours.”
“Wow,” He breathes his words, “that’s been like, 20 years.”
“Twenty years, eh Moony? Can’t believe you put up with me that long.” Sirius comments as Harry hears a soft smack from over the floo.
“Yeah well, it might be the French.”
“Well then I’ll start speaking in it more.” Sirius challenges.
“I will die.”
“Thought you were already dead?” Sirius replies and Harry hears a sigh from the other end of this conversation.
“Okayyy, moving on,” He says, switching the subject, “How do I push Malfoy out of my head.”
“Can’t,” Sirius answers, “I tried to pretend I was straight and not into Moony for way to long, then I inevitably came out to myslf that I was completely and utterly gay and in love with Remus.”
“Are you serious?” Harry asks.
Remus groans from the other end of the floo as Sirius laughs, “Always was, always will be.”
“It’s starting to become an issue, today Snape paired us up in potions ‘cause I’m guessing he thought if he can put me in pain he might as well, and Malfoy was insulting me in French the whole time and I could barely get two words out.”
“You’re far gone then, I had a crush on Sirius from second year onward and it never got better.” Lupin commented.
Soon after, Harry realized he was screwed.
A/N
First posted writing, I used google translate so please spare me if it is incorrect. :)