Fight Club
Funny rationality
What would positions in power be?
Led by feelings that seemingly change hourly
I am floored you ever got there
People are annoying. They keep walking into Ursa's compartment to say goodbye like she'll miss them even a little bit. To make matters worse she keeps having to pretend she'll miss Peter too and act all lovey-dovey. It isn't soon enough that they get to the train station. Fleamont and Euphemia are waiting for them as soon as they get down with hugs and cheek kisses. It makes her miss her own parents with their cold demeanors and absentee presence at platform 9 ¾. It's clear that despite the gloomy tightness in their face they're happy to see them again, their words aren't lies. They suggest getting ice cream before heading back to the house and Ursa has to contain an eye roll. Instead, she speaks sweetly with a grin on her face “Would you mind if we head back to the house?” She considers using the word homesick but in the end deems it too much, they'll see right through that and not in the way she intends them to “I've missed it”
“Oh, sure, of course, yahaan priye, let me take your trunk” Fleamont offers and she offers him a plastic smile
“dhanyavaad”
James’ parents let the grating sound of Sirius and James’ rambles continue and have the audacity to seem genuinely interested in their uninteresting babbling. Sirius goes into a bit too much detail on Remus’ eye color.
Hysterical baby, his gaze always evades me
Doesn't know that he is pavin'
The road for my escape way every time
I scratch another line
“Before you unpack we wanted to show you something” Euphemia leads them up the stairs and gestures to two doors that weren't there before “open them” Ursa takes one door and Regulus the other. She opens the door to find a unicorn's vomit. She has to pretend she likes it. They got her her own room. She gives the grateful performance they expect, like her old room wasn't twice the size and loaded with priceless heirlooms.
Euphemia and Flemont let the kids settle in and unpack before they gather them in the living room with gloomy news. They line them up on the couch and James holds Regulus’ hand in one of his and Sirius’ in the other. Ursa sits on the same couch but is careful not to touch Sirius beside her, his goodbye with Remus was enthusiastic and he still hasn’t showered since. “Your Uncle Alphard is sick, I’m so sorry, I don’t think he’s gonna make it” The breath catches on Sirius and Regulus’ throats. Ursa bites down on a disappointed pout, she thought they’d be telling her he’s finally kicked the bucket, but no, he’s still kicking unfortunately.
“I’m sorry Sirius, I know how much you cared about him” James hugs the oldest Black and Ursa bears the sacrifice of leaving the stinking fleafilled couch for Fleamont to take it
“He and Andromeda are the only ones that wrote to me when—” his voice cracks, Fleamont holds him tighter and Euphemia stares at him in sympathetic distress. Ursa rolls her eyes, he’s so melodramatic. And stupid. No one does stupidity like her older brother. Regulus elbows her on the side
“Sii gentile” Be nice he whispers “il nostro unico zio vivente sta morendo” our only living uncle is dying
“Si, hai ragione” Yeah, you’re right she sighs, it truly is a pity that he’s still alive “Sta ancora respirando” he's still breathing
“Don’t sound so sad about that” Sirius hisses sarcastically at her, he doesn't need to know Italian to know what she's saying
“ok, je ferai semblant” ok, I'll pretend she nods
“Our uncle is dying!”
“Je sais, je ne suis pas sourd, je l'ai entendu la première fois” I know, I’m not deaf, I heard it the first time
“Vous ne vous en souciez pas du tout ?!” Don’t you care at all?! Sirius cries out
“Je m'en soucierai davantage une fois qu'il sera enfin décédé” I'll care more once he finally passes away
“Enfin?!” Finally?! “You fucking psychopath! When did you lose your fucking heart?” it takes everyone in the room to hold him back but she finds this hilarious, still she keeps the distressed look on her face firmly planted and relishes on the three potter’s confusion.
“Cela impliquerait que j'en ai déjà eu un à perdre” that would imply that I had one to lose “et même si j'en avais un, ça ne conviendrait certainement pas à quelqu'un d'aussi laid que lui” and even if I had one, it definitely wouldn't beat for someone as ugly as him
“What is wrong with you?!” Sirius rattles her and she falls down on the couch with a smirk, not caring enough to keep up her cover, what's even the point?
“Sirius,” Fleamont warns softly
“attention, ne veux pas que ta père adoptive voie tes vraies couleurs et te déteste aussi” careful, don't want your adoptive father seeing your true colors and hating you too.
“Growing up, you used to have a heart, it was made of ice, but it still beated.”
“vraiment ? c'est tout ce que tu as ? un peu pathétique, tu ne trouves pas ?” really? that's all you have? a bit pathetic, don't you think?
“Why don't we take a little breather?” Fleamont tries his best to de-escalate the situation but it's useless
“You’re just a dangerous monster who’s gonna stab all of us in the back the first time she gets.” Sirius spits with tears in his eyes
“Oh, please, if that were true you'd already be dead” she scoffs, how dare he undermine her abilities
“I wanted to believe … but you're dangerous. I can't. I need to leave, I have to go, I can't deal with you right now”
“Oh, come on, Etes-vous sûr que vous ne voulez pas me le laisser ? Allez, déchaîne-toi comme tu le fais toujours. Essayez-moi, je suis comme une mère après tout, n'est-ce pas?” Are you sure you don’t want to let me have it? Come on, lash out the way you always do. Take a go at me, I’m just like mother after all, aren’t I? “You see,” she steps closer to him with a wicked grin that makes his blood run cold. She stands centimeters away from his face and she stares straight into his eyes “Je suis content qu'il soit en train de mourir. En fait, j'aurais aimé qu'il soit déjà mort” I'm glad he's dying. Actually, I wish he were already dead. A smirk spreads on her face and he fights against James’ arms restraining him as he tries with all his might to take a swing at her.
“Ursa!” Regulus snatches her arm and yanks her away. He shoves her into the bathroom and slams the door “Muffliato” she rips her arm away from his grasp “For someone who takes so much pride in her own intelligence you’re acting like an ungracious, bratty moron” she crosses her arms and looks away but doesn’t argue “you know I’m right. Now go apologize to Mr and Mrs Potter” he nods to the door. She scowls and grinds her teeth but follows him back into the colorful living room. A colourful vomit.
“Mr and Mrs Potter, I’m sorry I’m such a bitch” Regulus elbows her when she grows quiet. She rolls her eyes and huffs “I’m sorry Sirius. Que tu pleures tellement bébé” That you’re such a cry baby
“Nope” Regulus says and she sighs
“I’m sorry no one loves you”
“Nope” she sighs again and stumps her foot like an immature child
“I’m sorry I don’t love you”
“Try again”
“I’m sorry I don’t have a heart”
“Eh, good enough” Regulus approves
“That was impressive” James croaks through a tight voice, his pupils dilated as they stare at Regulus
“Ew” she looks at him like he disgusts her. Regulus shoots her a look “I’m not apologizing for that”
“Of course we forgive you dear” Euphemia offers her a warm, kind smile, Ursa looks back at her like that grosses her out even worse than James lusting over his brother. Regulus kicks her shin and she forces herself to pick the act right back up with a shy grin
“Don’t forgive her, she’s not sorry, she’s not anything but a heartless psychopath who should go back with those death eaters, where she belongs”
“Sirius that’s not a very nice thing to say. She’s entitled to feel however she does on your uncle’s situation, we all deal with our emotions differently and if this is her way of coping—”
“Wipe that stupid smug off your face!”
“Children,” Euphemia scolds calmly “Behave.”
“Ferez-vous en sorte que votre mère adoptive vous déteste aussi ?” she smirks and Sirius slips off James’ grip since he’s too busy drooling over Regulus. He lunges for her but she punches his throat and he stumbles back gasping for breath “Looks like you’re still a Black after all”
“What did I just say?” Regulus glares at her and she rolls her eyes, what even is the point of keeping up the act in front of James' parents, she's certain the four eyed boy already told them everything Sirius calls Remus through the mirror to calm himself down.
Funny rationality
What would positions in power be?
Led by feelings that seemingly change hourly
I am floored you ever got there
Remus is selfless enough to suggest Ursa stay the night at his house so Sirius won’t have to deal with her. It’s a long conversation but in the end, the next morning before they head to Alphard’s Fleamont apparates Ursa over to the Lupin’s humble home after Sirius’ hissed whisper not to try anything and she smiles sweetly at him, he would've been more reassured by an insult.
In the end it's agreed Ursa needs to be supervised while the rest of them pay uncle alphard a visit. Peter makes some lame excuse not to do it, which means Ursa either stays with Remus the entire day or she stays alone. Sirius is not thrilled about it but he eventually agrees because she won't put her deadly snake on his bed if Moony’s around.
Remus is quick to chase her off the house, but that's still enough time for her to charm both his parents, even with a deadly snake looped around her neck. He considers taking her on an endless stroll, but he had plans to go to the gym with his muggle friends and doesn't deem her dangerous enough to not see his friends in the short window of time he has to see them, he already knows Sirius is going to be taking up plenty of that time already. If he's lucky, maybe the snake will bite her.
The gym is grindy, Remus smiles at the way Ursa wrinkles her snobby nose as she walks in. “Well if it isn't my favorite scholar?” Tomny whistles at the sight of him from the fighting ring in the middle
“Missed you too wanker”
“Who's the posh chick?” Grant lowers his bandaged fists
“Her name’s Ursa” Remus says offhandedly
“Is she related to that star boy of yours?” Grant leans against the ring's ropes next to Tomny
“Younger sister”
“Yeah, well if he looks anything like that I think I finally understand why you dumped me” Grant snorts and Ursa bats her pretty long lashes at him with a smile too sweet. Remus is instantly wary.
“He’s prettier. And nicer”
“Wanna hold my snake?” She offers and Remus steps between them
“Nope. No.”
“You're no fun” she pouts “is there anywhere in this place that isn't gross?”
“Not really” Tomny admits and Ursa rolls her eyes
“Rydych chi'n gwybod y gallech chi newid hynny mewn gwirionedd, helpu'ch ffrindiau” You know you could actually change that, help your friends
“You speak Welsh?”
“ddim cystal ag y dymunaf” not as well as I want
“Ers faint wyt ti wedi bod yn dysgu cymraeg?” how long have you been learning welsh?
“diwedd yr haf”
“a gallwch chi eisoes gael sgwrs hylif?” and you can already have a fluid conversation? Grant whistles
“mae ganddi beth am ieithoedd, mae hi'n siarad shitton ohonyn nhw” she has a thing for languages, she speaks a shitton of them
“Faint?” How many?
“ychydig.” A few. “Now, are you going to stand there and talk all day or do I get to see someone get beat up?” Her eyes sparkle at the prospect of someone suffering
“Not that type of gym, gorgeous, sorry to disappoint, we’re all about defense, not offense” She pouts and he chuckles
“Fine.” She turns her eyes from Tomny to grant “Tell me about your relationship with my brother in law”
“Brother in law? It’s official then? Finally caught the bastard?” Tomny smirks
“Told you you’d forgive him for whatever he did” Grants adds with an undertone of sadness Ursa digs her claws into
“Yeah, you’ll see them together, they’re disgustingly in love”
“You think all love is disgusting” Remus says with red cheeks and a smile he can’t fully hide
“When do we finally get to meet the guy that’s got you all smiley like that?”
“He’ll be back to pick her up, you can meet him then”
“Aw, look at you blushing” Tommy cooes
“Shut up” he cuffs him in the back of the head and they scuffle.
And when he snaps out of it
He drones in monotone, on a power trip
With telltale blood still running in his coward lips
From raising strokes that he hopes I'll cower in
The door slams open and in an instant Sirius’ black hair swings in behind him “You fucking cunt!” He pins her to the wall by the throat and squeezes with blurry eyes overflowing with tears. She catches Nina an instant before her teeth sink into either of their flesh. The next breath a set of arms are tangled around him in a chokehold as he crumbles to the ground, Tomny stands on top of him keeping him down
“Can you teach me how to do that?” Ursa grins at him impressed and with a dismissive wave of her hand adds “you can let go of him now”
“She killed him!” Sirius sobs when Tomny steps away from him and Remus rushes to scoop him into his arms
“Agh, finally. The old man took his sweet time”
“How could you?! He's the only family we had left and you—”
“Do not insult me. If I'd tried to kill him he wouldn't have suspected shit. And it would’ve been faster. Or longer, smoother”
“That's what I said” Regulus calls as he walks in calmly with James behind him
“James and Peter saw you with his owl” Sirius cries
“Yes. Because he was convinced I did it, he kept harassing me with letters”
“Why would your uncle think you’d murder him?”
“I guess Siri isn't the only one who thinks I resemble my mother a little too much. I don't know, and to be quite honestly I don't particularly care. What I do care about is that move, how did you do it?” Tomny stares back at her with incredulous eyes
“Is murder something you're likely to do?”
“No, but our mother is and I have her eyes” she shrugs easily
“Fine, I'll teach you, since you obviously need to know how to defend yourself” he shoots Sirius a nasty glare “Lu, you remember what I taught you, right?”
“Don't worry, I'm the only one who can trigger his old coping mechanisms, your boy's safe with him”
“He hurt him once, he didn't—”
“No!” Remus rushes to defend him but Sirius flinches at the implication
“I would never…” his defense dies in his lips because he quite literaly choked his baby sister a minute ago “I should go” he sniffs and rushes to his feet as Remus and James chase after him
“Non hai detto che nostro zio era malato. O lui che ti manda lettere” you didn't mention our uncle being sick. Or him sending you letters Regulus tells her in a quiet voice
“avrebbe vanificato le mie preghiere per una morte solitaria” would've defeated my prayers for a lonely death “now,” she claps her hands together and turns to Tomny with a radiant grin “teach us how to fight”
Regulus gets dragged into the fighting lesson but is nowhere near as committed as Ursa who ends up covered in a layer of sweat.
Never making good on silent threats
So that he knows that I have nothing
Oh, but he has nothing
Ursa refuses to go back to the potters until she learns a cool and difficult move Tomny showed her, even when Tomny insists for her to take it slower.
Remus is thrilled to keep her as far away from Sirius as possible so he agrees to keep her for the night and she doesn't protest about being spoken of as a toy pet. He knows better than to believe her when she promises to remain put while he showers but he needs a bath more than air in his lungs so he accepts it with a sigh.
He rolls his eyes when he finds his room empty not too long later. He follows the sound coming from downstairs with heavy steps. He blinks at the sight in front of him. His father isn't sitting in his usual chair staring off into nothing looking miserable but there's a soft smile on his face as he dances with his mother. The sight is so mindoggling for a second he doubts it. He follows the sound of chopping coming from the kitchen and finds Ursa with a knife in one hand and an eggplant in the other “what did you do?” He breathes and she rolls her eyes
“I wanted the kitchen for myself”
“My dad never leaves that couch. He never dances, not even when my ma asks him”
“I brought the neighbor in to dance with your mother” she tells him with a tiny smirk “it was an interesting show”
“I don't want to know” he sighs and his eyes drift back to the living room with a hazy grin.
It's thawing
And melting the ice
White goats are grazing on the mountainside
It's golden
Blinded by the sight
Of the water
Moving in the last of the light
“You want her to stay.” Sirius repeats the words back to his boyfriend slowly because Remus can't have possibly said that
“No. I'm not entirely sure she won't smother me in my sleep. But, she made my dad smile, he actually got up off that godforsaken chair”
“But what if she tries something? I would never forgive myself if something were to happen to you Moonshine”
“Sweetheart, you're not responsible for her actions— and even if she were to do something, I've literally stabbed her, I'd kind of deserve it”
“Exactly! In what world would she get stabbed and not retaliate! She's planned something. Something too many shades of wicked for us to even imagine!”
“Sweetheart—”
“Moony please” Sirius begs and Remus has never been proud of how powerless he is with that boy. He's about to cave in when Ursa comes strutting in, chuckling next to a Lyall Lupin wearing a tracksuit instead of pajamas
“Helo Siri, Mae Lyall yn mynd i ddangos i mi sut i'ch curo chi— sorry, forgot you don't understand Welsh,” her smirk certifies she didn't forget shit “Lyall is gonna show me how to beat you up”
“He lets you call him Lyall?”
“He's teaching you how to fight?” Remus asks at the same time
“Oes” Ursa nods and Remus swallows
“Have fun then,” his grin drips with the bitter taste “we’ll be at James'”
“Oh, stop whining, he’ll teach you how to beat up your boyfriend another time, won't you Lyall?”
“I didn't know you wanted— you can come with us today if—”
“Don't bother”
“Oh, stop being such a whiny little bitch and let your father team you how to beat up your whiny little bitch” she nods to Sirius on the last bitch and he glares back “Fine.” Remus crosses his arms in front of his chest with a huff and Sirius let's out an outraged whimper and moony wraps his arms around him
“If you stop whining and go get Regulus then you can come too”
“You don't give me orders”
“ydych chi wir eisiau difetha amser bondio eich cariad gyda'i dad?” do you really want to ruin your boyfriend's bonding time with his daddy? She raises a brow and he scowls in return
“Fine”
“What did she say to you?” Remus whispers to him but it's loud enough for the other two to hear and he instantly regrets it when he sees the smirk it draws on Ursa's face
“I simply asked if he doesn't want to spend time with the man the boy he calls daddy, calls dad”
“That's not what she said!” Sirius cries with burning red cheeks
“Don't be ashamed kid, Hope calls me daddy too” Lyall says and Remus’ jaw drops as Ursa beams and Sirius gets stuck in very awkward situation. Remus tries to stutter out a response but none comes out.
“tes daddy issues doivent crier en ce moment” your daddy issues must be screaming right now
“ferme ta bouche” Sirius hisses back and she giggles
“Come daddy Lupin, they can meet up with us there”
“Ugh! Don't call him that!” Remus retches and the his father laughs along with Ursa as they strut away arm in arm.
“Wrong black sibling for that?”
“I am leaving this conversation” Remus covers his ears and drags Sirius along with him.
Moving slowly, tracking laughter through the trees
The sound of the safety that's evaded me
The calling of the birds
The warmth returns
To my extremities, long dead from freezer burn
Ponytail high and an all black outfit Ursa returns with a layer of sweat she’s first to wash off. She blast loud music the entire family, Remus included, dances to while she cooks. It feels foreign, out of a picture book, not possibly Remus' reality. His family doesn't laugh and joke around, it's a loving family but not a happy one. He doesn't want to burst it by mentioning the spell Ursa knows that might turn him into a werewolf full time. Or solve all his problems. Lucky for him, he doesn't have to, Ursa makes sure to pop that bubble of unbelievable joy before she leaves. She does it in a second, as easily as she gave them happiness she takes it away. It's the day before the Christmas party and her time at the Lupin’s — or rather Tomny’s gym— is coming to a close. She's lathered in a layer of sweat insisting she wants to keep going while Tomny insists she needs a break. She rises her shirt to wipe the sweat off her face and the low rise of her joggings reveal a nasty red scar on her stomach “what the hell happened to you?!” Sirius screeches and she furrows her brows at him in seeming confusion
“Your boyfriend stabbed me? You were there Sirius, I almost died”
“Yes but…”
“Remus what?!” Grant gasps
“That can't be true”
“In his defense, I provoked him”
“So he stabbed you?!” His father looks at him with even more disgust than after a full moon, he didn't think it was possible
“She was literally torturing me!” Sirius defends Moony but that doesn't stop the shame on his boyfriend's face
“oh yeah, I definitely deserved it, but I'd really prefer not to get stabbed again, so if you could please teach me how to defend myself, that'd be great”
Lyall slams the door on his way out and Tomny teaches her on autopilot after promising Remus they'll discuss this.
Regulus yanks her off to the side when Ursa finally agrees to leave. He hisses in her ear and she blinks dumbly at him “oh don't play dumb, we both know what lupin did left you no physical scars. So either something else happened to you or you casted a glamor to make him look bad” she smirks and the next time she raises her shirt her stomach is smooth perfection
“You know I don't do scars” she winks and he sighs
“Did you really have to do that?”
“Yep” she grins and pushes past him to return to her lesson. Regulus rolls his eyes and drags his feet after the others.
I used to think that I
Was running from the night
But I've been following behind
The light, all this time
When Ursa arrives back at the Lupin's there's tension in the air and this time she doesn’t need an excuse to get them out of the kitchen. However she does need an excuse to get Remus’ bedroom all to herself. Remus is sure that’s why she does it “did you tell your parents about the spell yet?” She asks it seemingly innocently but Sirius taught him better than to believe that. She heads off to bed after that and the thought crosses his mind that she did it simply to take his bed. Regardless of why she did it, it's done and Remus has to spend the entire night listening to his father tell him what a terrible idea that is and his mother cry because of him. They already believe him to be a monster after what he did to Ursa. And the worst part is he can’t argue against it.
Christmas eve starts off even worse than usual. But at least Ursa has a foot out the door, back to the Potters for their christmas. Unlucky for him, she woke up in a bad mood. “Thank you for having me Mr and Mrs Lupin” Lyall doesn’t get off the couch to greet her. That means she goes to him. She squats down in front of his eyes and smiles “You think your son is a monster because of a bite you were responsible for, but his anger issues don’t stem from that. Now, his lack of a stable father figure and urge to repress his emotions that you’ve ingrained into his brain… You are responsible for your son being a monster, but not because of some bite that happened over a decade ago. It’s about everything you didn’t do after that. You’ve let your own guilt consume you, adding onto their burden. You are the burden they must endure. You’ve selfishly let yourself become nothing but a burden, even killing yourself would only add into their troubles. It’s been twelve fucking years, it’s time you fucking get over it and stop being so fucking pathetic and weak. If you care so much about your son, stop giving your unsolicited opinion and fucking go to a mind healer or something, I don’t care, grow the fuck up”
Lyall is too stunned to speak but Hope isn’t “You do not speak to him like that. You have no idea what it’s like—”
“Actually I know all about, but unlike your feeble coward of a husband—”
“And I’m taking her, sorry, bye” Sirius puts his hands around her to drag her away but earns a right hook to the face
“Sirius, are you okay?”
“Thanks for teaching me that by the way,” she beams at Lyall like she hadn’t insulted him a second ago “Bye, bye”
When they apparate away Sirius is immediately handed over to Euphemia to take a look at his poor little boo-boo. By the drama he makes you’d think he wasn’t used to physical pain.
It can't hurt me
It's still there but it can't now the warmth's returning
The warmth is coming back and now, no it can't hurt me
It's still there but it can't now the warmth's returning