Consequences
To Barty the answer is simple. Mulciber messed with Regulus. What does Regulus cherish most? His own hair. Ergo, they must make Mulciber bald. “And then have those muggle tiny land mowers for your head Dorcas learned about in her muggle class” Hair clippers. That’s what he means. “Maybe it could go around cutting little bits of him— Ooh, we could give him scars!”
“I think we’ll stick with a bald head and hair clippers turned off”
“Fine” Barty agrees with a sigh to the nowhere near as fun of a plan.
“Salazar, how can one person evade wit with such skill?” Ursa groans and Peter glares at her, they’re tucked off to the side before the hallway to meet the library
“Hey, I can tell that you’re insulting me even when you speak in pompous pretension” she looks at him with a murderous glare and he frowns his brows at her “What crawled up your arse today? You’re somehow even bitchier than usual”
“Have I ever told you what’s going on with me?”
“No”
“Then shut the fuck up and play your part”
“You’re mean”
“Both my opinion and respect for you are dwindling down at rapid speed, if you don’t want it to reach el inframundo you should shut your mouth right about five minutes ago”
“Oh, I’m really regretting ever opening my mouth, I should’ve just let you keep being fake nice to me, I don’t think I even want to kiss you anymore, I mean sure, you’re hot and all tha—” she crushes their lips together just as Emma Vanity walks past them and Peter finds it surprisingly easy to bite and yank in response, tug her against the wall and devour her.
“Hmmm," she pulls back once there's no else on sight "you’re not as bad an actor as I thought” she smirks down at him and he blushes
“Okay fine, I still like making out with you, sue me! I’m not going to apologize, I have hormones and you’re hot and—”
“and I don’t care, so lets go— whenever you feel like cussing me out, just kiss me” she suggests, they're trying to convince people they love each other, not hate.
“Whatever, lets get this over with”
“That’s the spirit.”
She tugs his hands until they’re wrapped around her waist and guides them into the library, leaning against him as soon as there may be witnesses. They find their destination soon after, Peter's almost orgy partners. They're sitting on a table in the library with books not yet opened and talking amidst each other, Peter suddenly wonders if they went through with the orgy just among them anyways. He hopes they did, he wouldn't want to stop anyone from having their fun or shaming them in anyway.
Ursa can feel the hatred of a glare and relishes in it, in the disappointment in some of the faces and outright irritation of another. Gideon is the only one that seems thrilled by this new development. It makes it easier to fake her smile and kiss Peter’s jaw, it isn’t as cushioned as at the beginning of the year but still plump and soft. Peter brings another chair next to his empty one, making Amelia reluctantly give up her favorite spot next to him, just the way Ursa said he should. He pushes the chair out for her and all, he offers the entire performance. He feels all eyes on him and something twist in the pit of his stomach, he feels like a sappy moron, so he kisses her lightly, whenever you feel like cussing me out, just kiss me. He isn't a moron, he can follow rules
“Nice of you to finally join us, Ursa” the hostility is palatable in Christian’s voice but she just smiles like she doesn’t hear it
“Yeah, I didn’t want to intrude but Pete said he missed me and how could I ever say no to him” she stares at him with a fondness she feels for no one
“It’s the dimples” Gideon agrees with a smile and Peter blushes
“It’s everything” she stares at him in a way he’s never been looked at before and he knows it’s fake. In his head. Logically. His brain knows it’s not real. But his body really wants to kiss her. Or maybe that’s part of his brain too because he’s impressed. No one’s ever looked at him that way and it’s nice, even if it isn’t true. He pretends it is, or maybe he doesn’t really care whether it is or it isn’t and he just kisses her. Her hand comes up to the back of his head and tangles in his hair immediately, she always has to be in control. His breath slips out of his lips and into her when she gives him a little tug. She shift her head to rest on the crook of his neck, props her leg up on his and opens the book in front of her “What were you planning on revising?”
“Herbology”
“Brilliant” she doesn’t bother moving her head from his shoulder the entire hour.
No one lingers to talk with Peter as soon as they’re done the way they normally do, he’s kind of bummed about it, but then Ursa nudges his chin with her head and whispers in his ear “Wanna go to your dorm and have Sirius pretend he ‘walked in on us’ and make a big fuss” His little fangroup was really disappointed when she showed up, almost like they’d thought they might have a chance, something she needs to remedy before the holidays and she’s never been much of a procrastinator.
“Maybe tomorrow, I prefer the excuse to make out with you right now”
“Okay,” she smiles “Wanna go make out in a broom closet where someone will definitely find us?”
“Mhmm, maybe yank on my hair a bit again, I liked it”
“A fake relationship isn’t really the place for you to explore your kinks” she hums as she tugs him along
“Why not? It’s perfect, it’s not like I’d be afraid of making you think less of me because you already don’t think much of me, it lowers the pressure”
“Yeah alright, I’ll yank on your hair, want me to choke you too?”
“Uhhh, I don’t know, I don’t think so, not today at least” he lets her guide the way for a broom closet she deems suitable “Do you want me to choke you?”
“Nah. Might be into tying you up though”
“Only hair tugging for today. Maybe a bit of biting”
“So you like a bit of pain?”
“More like a sting? But, I dunno, I might, you? I heard you say you do, but do you? I know you lie a lot”
she stops walking and turns to him with a smirk “You’d be into inflicting it?”
“Not really, I don’t think? At least not right now— well, right now I kinda wanna fuck you, but I’ll settle for some good snogging” she takes a step back and runs her eyes over him
“Since when are you so—”
“Honest?”
“Shameless.” she corrects
“Oh, that. James and Sirius have both been oversharing with me about their sex lives –your fault for ever telling James I was lonely by the way– and anything I do or say feels prudish in contrast. Besides, I told you, not really aiming for your approval, you’ve already made it clear I’ll never have it so, eh, why care, you know?” she spares him a half amused look and tugs them into the darkness of a broom closet. He finds her under his hands and lets their bodies press together. She tugs him down to her mouth and his hand slips down to where he can feel the waist of her skirt “Can I?”
“Whatever” she breathes and crushes their lips back together but neither his hand of his mouth move. He takes a step back, his fingers digging on the same spot they refuse to leave
“Lumos” his eyes track her face trying to figure it out with a frown “Yes or no?”
“Sure” she waves off his lumos and plunges them back into darkness. She brushes her lips with his again and he chases the feeling. She cups his face to angle him better for the kiss and he mirrors her. Her face is soft and smooth, he lets that be enough and enjoys himself until they hear five snickering voices outside
“Can I help you?” she swings the door open without preamble and redirects Peter to her neck in the same breath. Peter plays his dutiful part by sucking on it merily. He’s a bit distracted to pick up on what those outside say but he doesn’t recognize them and the door shuts again soon enough
“You smell good,” he mumbles against her neck, licking the spot where it meets his jaw, a bit shamelessly “what perfume are you wearing?”
She silences him with a scrape of teeth and a tug that makes his body sing. He isn’t done by the time she tells him to illusion the bulge in his pants something other than a tent and unbuttons his shirt only to button it back up right after she's done, only miss-matched. They spill out of the broom closet together and she loudly (though not to loud to be obvious) reminds him to 'fix the mess you did' gesturing to her neck filled with hickeys, she says it like he's done it a thousand times before.
She kisses him goodbye for everyone to see and walks away.
Barty takes a slight derail on his and Evan’s plans when they’re in front of the sleeping heads and Mulciber’s roomates have their hairy heads on a feather platter and the potion right there in his hand. Mulciber’s is not the only bald head the next morning but it’s the only one being chased by hair clippers
What they aren’t counting on is that just as Mulciber’s bald head is being chased off the great hall and Barty’s laughing just a tiny bit louder than everyone else, is for Ursa’s eyes to land on the couple, the pair of them, and even if she wasn’t far too good at getting a read out of people, she knows Evan a little too well. A knowing look falls on her face.
The second they’re alone they’re questioned. Barty lets on that it had to do with Regulus before Evan cuts him off. He doesn’t want to feel responsible for Ursa feeling obligated to cause some horror. Still, he knows the look on Ursa’s face when she walks away. He knows what that means. That’s why he asks Barty to do him a favor.
Peter is in a hallway sketching while Poppy rambles on and on about… Peter isn’t really sure what, but she’s rambling. “Pettigrowth” Barty nods to her
“It’s Pettigrew” she shrills in correction
“What do you want, Crotch?” Peter doesn’t bother looking at him, he’s learnt from Ursa that sometimes lack of even deeming someone worthy of your gaze can be so much more intimidating
“some guy was looking for you”
“What guy?” She asks
“Oh, a guy?”
“Shut up” she kicks his foot and turns to look back at Barty for the answer to her question
“I dunno, tall?”
“That’s not use at all.” she huffs but takes off to find said ‘tall guy’
“Evan wants you to keep an eye on Ursa tonight” Barty tells him and Peter blinks, his hand stops moving across the paper
“What?”
“Sleep-over with your girlfriend. If you don’t want Evan sniffing around that something is odd with you two’s relationship and Ursa consequently losing her utter shit, she’ll be sleeping in your dorm tonight” ge walks off and Peter flips him off, even if it’s only his back.
He takes a deep breath and turns a new page to sketch… he doesn’t really know what he’s sketching until he sees Ursa’s peaceful sleeping face staring back at him on the page. He feels like a total, utter creep about it so he tears it off and destroys it until there’s no longer any evidence of it.
Ursa is surprisingly easy to convince. The Evan argument seems to do it easily. Peter takes down a mental note in case it’s ever useful in the future.
They have the same little argument they had not too long ago and Ursa ends up sharing Sirius’ bed with him. Especially since Sirius and Regulus don’t trust her not to slip out in the middle of the night. This way at least she’ll have to wake Sirius when she does. Probably. Sirius still whines about not sleeping with Moony. He falls asleep twice and wakes up with Ursa shoveling and elbowing him off the bed before she finally falls asleep. Sirius latches on like an octopus when he sleeps.
Peter stays up with a lumos finishing next morning’s essay which he forgot about until Remus mentioned it right before bed, Sirius whispers some help, apparently unable to fall asleep a third time
Remus is knackered off on his own bed and his head is heavy on his pillow just as Peter puts the final dot and stops caring whether it’s even a passable mark anymore, it’s done and that’s enough.
“Pete, can you wake him up?” Remus’ voice is slurred and heavy with sleep
“What is it Moons?” Sirius whispers, not fully asleep
“Could smell your adrenaline from here, and fear” he grumbles and holds open his arms for him “can still smell it” he pouts and Sirius crawls into his waiting embrace. He nestles closer and Remus buries his face in his hair. He sniffs and frowns, he kisses his shoulder as he smells him. He blinks the sleep away “It isn’t you, it—” his eyes find Ursa sleeping soundly on Sirius’ bed
“You think she’s having a nightmare?” Sirius croaks
“I don’t think so, she seems relaxed,” Peter gets closer to her on light feet “she’s— smirking?” Remus gets up and sniffs the air above her
“It’s her, she smells terrified and—”
“That’s her I’m scared face?” Peter frowns down at her. The levels of her insanity apparently reach depths he hadn’t even known existed
“I wonder what she’s dreaming about”
“Maybe it’s the storms lately, they’re a bit scary”
“I doubt a storm could get a reaction out of her”
“Maybe we should wake her up” Sirius reaches a hand out towards her. A hand lashes out and wraps around his boney wrist, stilling him. Her eyes shoot open and her smirk focuses on him
“Fucking creeps” she grumbles
“Are you okay? You were having a nightmare”
“So you thought surrounding me was the best choice. Your brilliance never ceases to amaze me”
“We were worried you asshole”
“Aw, isn’t that adorable?” Remus slips a hand around Sirius waist and he bites down on his response “Not me you should be worried about though”
“What are you on about?”
“It’s far too late for your mind games— or early— you just woke up, how are you already…” Peter makes a senseless gesture to her mind, too out of words after finishing his essay
“No mind games. Only the truth. Why do you think Evan wants me here? He doesn’t want me to do what I should be doing” she sits up and looks at her brother “What you should be doing.”
“What are you on about?”
“Why do you think Snape and co were suddenly bald”
“I honestly just thought it was a good hygiene decision on his part” Peter jokes but it isn’t well received
“The day after you announce to the entire great hall that your brother married another man. I’m sure you can use your small brain to know their stance on homosexuality”
“Did they do something?”
“Why? You finally wanna do your job as our big brother for the first time in your life?”
“I’ve always—”
“You want them to pay?”
“Yes.”
“Padfoot—” Remus puts his hand on his back but there’s no stopping him
“Then I think it’s time for a little sibling bonding”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Sirius no. Her literal best friend is afraid of what she’ll do to them”
“We could make sure she doesn’t take it too far” Peter suggests and okay, fine, he’ll admit he’s a bit of morbid curiousity as to what she has in mind
“I’m not a monster, okay? We can do something stupid like you usually do if it makes you feel more comfortable. Dump his paralized body in the middle of the lake”
“They’ll drown!” Remus hisses, Peter isn’t entirely sure why he’s whispering, James and Regulus are in the come and go enjoying their sort of honeymoon and Ursa placed a silencing spell around Kingsley’s bed and the dorm
“Only if we’re lucky” she crosses her fingers with a smile and rolls her eyes when none of them agree “fine. Not paralized. Just asleep”
“We could hover him over with his bed” Sirius’ smile spreads on his face and Remus sighs
“Alright, I guess that’s harmless enough”
“You said him though, not them” Peter narrows his eyes on Ursa
“Ten points for Gryffindor” she smiles at him and he rolls his eyes to hide his blush, he isn’t entirely sure why he’s blushing “No. Snape we’ll dump in the middle of the forbidden forest— don’t worry, I know a spot to dump him in where he won’t be in danger”
“So we’ll dump him as far away from where you tell us as possible, got it” Peter nods and she smirks. She may have been planning on dumping him near a good friend of Hagrid’s…
“I guess we know the forest well enough to dump his bed somewhere safe” Remus hums, clearly not thrilled about the idea
“What about Mulciber?” Sirius bounces on the bed “We could put him in the middle of the great hall, I bet he snores— Oh, or we could charm him to float and hover from the astronomy tower, he’ll piss his pants when he wakes up and looks down”
“That sounds nice. But no. Mulciber and I will have a little chat”
“I don’t like the sound of that” Remus worries
“I’m not gonna kill him, just some light threatening so he falls in line”
“I don’t like the sound of that”
“I’ll do it” Sirius says quickly and Ursa smiles
“Alright, I’ll take Snape then”
“No.” Remus jumps quickly “I don’t trust you.”
“You can go with her and make sure she doesn’t fuck up then”
“No. Actually, he can’t. You’ll need a look out while you’re threatening Mulciber, and that job obviously goes to rat boy, and we need to take a body each”
“Don’t call me rat boy”
“And don’t call them bodies” Remus adds
“Guess you’ll have to trust me” she bats her lashes at Remus who glares
“You’ll go with Peter. Sirius and I’ll handle the other two” his glare tells them he knows he’s playing right into what she wants but isn’t willing to risk it.
“Gorgeous! Let's go!” she hops up from the bed and Peter definitely doesn’t look at the way her pijamas hang off her shoudler
“Pete, keep an eye out on her, okay? Make sure she doesn’t kill him” Peter nods, hoping she isn’t planning on killing anyone because he doubts he’d be able to stop her if that were the case.
Sirius and Remus hide under the cloak with Peter perched up on Remus’ shoulder but Ursa doesn’t bother with it. She strolls easily and unhidden like she owns the school. Sirius presses closer into Remus’ back so they’re walking with Sirius’ chest pressed to his back and the contact doesn’t stop under their bellies, their hips flush together and Peter doesn’t look the smile that tugs at Remus’ corner lip. He feels dirty with that happening while PETER IS RIGHT THERE ON HIS SHOULDER! He chews down on Remus’ ear as a reminder of his presence since they seem to have forgotten. Remus yelps in pain and swats at him but Sirius only chuckles “That’s usually my move Wormie” Wormtail screeches in horror and slaps in Sirius’ direction but he still has tiny rodent hands so he only manages to smack the air. And then he’s falling to the ground. He changes back to himself halfway to the ground.
“This is why you always get caught”
“We do not” Remus takes personal offense to that, he’s usually the reason why they don’t always get caught. Just as he said that the impulse surged withing her, like an itch begging to be scratched, to get them caught and do this herself, no need for self containment. Another part of her, one she hates and often likes to pretend doesn’t exist, wants to avenge their brother together. She just rolls her eyes at them and keeps walking. They curse when they spot Mrs Norris but she just picks her up and scratches the top of her head as she coos at her questions of if she wants to eat Peter “Yeah? Of course you do”
“Of course she likes you” Peter huffs
“Demon are drawn to each other” Sirius mutters, not loud but purposefully loud enough to be certain she’ll hear
“Guess that’s why we were born in the same family”
“Shut up” she can’t see it but she hears the smile on his voice.
They make the rest of their way in silence to the dungeons. She stops before she goes into the common room. She tells them to hush and wait for her signal before they follow her up to the boys’ dorms. Sirius argues because he always feels the need to argue about everything. He finally agrees because they need to be feather quiet and after years of their parents forcing him to be silent he refuses to ever be that again apparently. A smart person would gather all their skills under their belt no matter how they came to have them, but her brother never claimed to be a smart person.
She lets them in without a word. Theo Nott is up reading the way he often is, an insomniac that one. His eyes find her and he smiles gently “Bit early for you, isn’t it?”
“Thought you could use a bit more sleep tonight, your dark circles are starting to bag”
“You take that back!” he gasps and sets down his book without bothering to mark his spot “I don’t have eye bags, and if I were to have them, you know all my bags are designer” she grants him a laugh and it isn’t entirely faked
“Speaking of designers,” she perches herself up on the arm of his seat “I got a letter from your cousin”
“Yeah?” he sits up on his seat and looks up at her “What did he say?”
“I’ll tell you,” she promises “in the morning. If you go to bed and actually try to get a full night’s sleep” she adds with a smirk and he huffs
“I hate you”
“But you’ll love me in the morning” she winks at him and holds a hand out to help him up. With a sigh he takes it
“Can you sing me to sleep?”
“My bags aren’t designer babe, I need my beauty sleep”
“Oh please,” he rolls his eyes “with the spells I taught you, plus the ones you already knew, you could be near death and still look like a queen”
“Exactly babe, I’m already near death, it’s dead I don’t want to reach”
“I’d doll up your corpse” he pats her in comfort, a reassurance and she snorts as they head up the stairs
“That’s what true friends are for”
“You already know, if I go—”
“Bourne lip tint in the shade Pretty Kiss, I know babe” she recites for the thousandth time
“You got it babe”
“I know what to do” she smiles and tells him goodbye at his door. Her twinkling smile drops when the door shuts and she turns her attention to the door right next to it. She pulls out her wand from her hair and casts a series of spells Peter hasn’t even heard of before she tiptoes inside. Once inside she casts spells at a speed too fast to see and paralyzes them to unperturbed sleep. She kicks the door back open only an instant later
“Kay, you can take them now” she whispers to the empty air and smiles.