Halloween
Sometimes, you're a stranger in my bed
Don't know if you love me or you want me dead
Push me away, push me away
Then beg me to stay, beg me to stay, yeah
“Oh, here you all are” Dorcas sighs coming through the door to the three Slytherin boys’ dorm room, Pandora close behind her. She slumps onto Ursa –laying on Regulus' bed– and wraps herself around her like a cat while Pandora sits on the couch next to Regulus
“Hey, no” Evan nudges her with a little kick and Dorcas uncoils off the bed
“Sorry, thought touching was allowed now that she’s Pettigrew’s scarf more often than not” Dorcas taunts her and Ursa rolls her eyes
“That’s why he’s my favorite” Ursa sits on Evan’s lap and wraps her hands around his neck
“Hey! Off my boyfriend!” Barty says with his toothbrush still in his mouth and toothpaste splattering all around “Why is my boyfriend the only one allowed to touch you?” he spits into the sink with a snarl
“If it makes you feel better, Reg is allowed to touch her too, so I don’t think you have anything to feel jealous about” Pandora reminds him
“Yeah, we don’t follow that family tradition”
“Can we get back to me please?” Dorcas snaps her fingers at Ursa “You promised you’d help me woo McKinnon”
“I know for a fact I never said I’d help you woo her”
“Ursa pleeease, you know what I meeeeaaan” she groans “Ursaaaa”
“You are a child. Calm down. The Gryffindors have their Halloween party tomorrow night, you can drool over her while Regulus drools over James”
"I don't drool over him." They all turn to him with matching expression and he huffs "shut up, he's really hot okay?"
“Yeah, how long does he spend in the gym?”
“None! That’s just from Quidditch practice!” Regulus says exasperated, it really isn’t fair that he’s shaped like that. He may have called him out on it when he was drunk, and what was worse, he didn’t allow Regulus to suck his dick because ‘he was drunk’ or whatever.
"I still don’t understand what you see in him. He's boring."
"I like that he's a good person. The best one I've ever met.” Regulus smiles at the mere thought of his boyfriend
“Like he said. Boring” Ursa agrees with Evan and he rests his chin on her shoulder
“And he is funny" Regulus growls looking very put out by the suggestion that his boyfriend is anything other than perfect
"You're biased, you're in love, your judgment can’t be trusted when it comes to him"
"Can we stop deviating from my issue please?! I don't want to drool over Marlene, I wanna lick her!" it comes out like a petulant child asking her parents for candy
"Then you should listen to Regulus. Boring 'good people' is what Gryffindors are attracted to. Just be nice and don't make any mean jokes"
"But all my best jokes are mean!"
"I told you, they like boring"
“James likes it when I’m mean to him”
“Yes, but he has absolutely no shame”
“Yeah, that’s true”
"Alright.” Dorcas says the plan to herself “So, I just go to her and tell her she looks gorgeous and then I get to lick her"
"No. You tell her she looks gorgeous and then you keep walking. You walk away. You leave. Te vas"
"What? No! But I want to lick her" she stumps her foot and whines
"Then you should definitely try that. Just walk up to her and don't even say anything, just lick her.” Barty suggests
“Like you're both big, hairless cats" Evan nods
"I don't think I need to say it, but just to be clear: do not lick her"
"Unless she lets you lick her" Pandora reminds her of the importance of consent and Regulus agrees with her
"Then you can lick away"
"Can you stop saying lick?!" Dorcas squeals and it's a breath before they're all saying the word non stop.
Some days, you're the best thing in my life
Sometimes when I look at you, I see my wife
Then you turn into somebody I don't know
And you push me away, push me away, yeah
"Can we get this over with?”
“Can’t you be a bit more enthusiastic about this?” Dorcas asks Ursa and she blinks at her, what is Dorcas expecting?
“No, not really. Can we go?”
“Not yet, how do I look?”
“Decent.”
“I hate you”
“You’re making me go to a Gryffindor party. Have you ever been to their common room? Everything is red. Every single thing”
“Well I guess you can just fuck off and go to your boo’s bedroom instead”
“for the thousandth time, do not say boo”
“You’re dodging the question”
“I missed the part where you asked one”
“Is Pettigrew still mad at you?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. You deserve it” she turns back to the mirror to asses her eyeliner
“You know, you could just be mad at me yourself” Ursa reminds her
“You know I can never stay mad at you” Dorcas huffs “Now help me look perfect”
“You already do, Dork”
“Yeah?” she turns to her with a beam and Ursa nods “You look pretty too”
“I know” Ursa tells her with a hair flip and saunters out the door dressed all in black, she’s wearing something modest unlike Dorcas’ flimsy dress.
“Shit. We’ll have to climb so many stairs! I’ll look like a wreck!”
“I’m gonna kill you. I’m this close to leaving you behind”
“No, be nice, please, I'm nervous. I really want to impress her, okay? I really, really like her, I've never liked anyone this much before— or for this long” Dorcas tells her earnestly and Ursa groans in defeat
“Fine.” she takes a deep breath and sighs. She shakes the evil off her body in exchange for gentle, soothing kindness “you could be wearing your grandmother’s ugly nightgown and you’d still be able to impress her. You are wonderful and hilarious and you look like a sodding fairytale”
“Yeah?” Dorcas nibbles on her bottom lip and Ursa nods with a small smile “Okay. I can do this. I can”
“You’ve got this” Ursa kisses her forehead and Dorcas beams.
“Alright,” she intertwines their fingers together and tugs her ahead “lets go” Dorcas shrinks her heels and swaps them for slippers, at least until they climb the dozen stairs. When she reaches back for Ursa's hand she tucks Dorcas' hair behind her ear instead.
When they finally make it to the top Dorcas is gasping for breath, exhausted and changing back to her heels. She turns to Ursa with an indignant, exasperated glare “Aren’t your feet killing you?!” Ursa looks impeccable even after climbing the same amount of stairs as her but in high heels. She has the audacity to shrug. God really isn’t fair “I hate you so much” Ursa laughs and offers her an arm, she takes it.
The portrait is being guarded by someone Dorcas doesn’t know but Ursa seems to, she seems to even know the portrait, she chats with both of them for a bit before being let inside for the party.
Turns out, Gryffindor parties are loud. Even when they haven’t won anything. She’d never been to one before this year. Slytherin parties are mostly sultry music nearing on drugged induced orgies, that doesn’t necessarily happen but that’s certainly the vibe of the whole party. Hufflepuff parties are chill and smokey, lots of weed to go around everywhere. Ravenclaw parties are… well they’re just weird, there’s really no other way to put it, it's a wild card, the weirdest shit always happens there. So far this year it’s been pretty tame, they’ve just transformed a turd into a live iguana and charmed it to play a shrink down guitar, a few people ended up covered in shit (don’t really know how that happened) so they made mud rain down on everyone for solidarity so no one would know for sure whether they were soaked in shit or mud. It was a fun night.
Of course Gryffindors play beer pong. She spots a pretty blonde doing just that and won’t you look at that, Dorcas’ opinion on beer pong just flipped entirely, it's the most brilliant game to ever be created
“Nope” Ursa yanks her back by the elbow
“But you said tell her she looks good”
“Yes, but don’t look desperate, mingle for a bit first”
“But they’re—” she casts her eyes around and lowers her voice “gryffindors”
“Not all of them”
“I don’t see any Slytherins apart from us”
“Which means she will notice you. Now smile and look pretty, I’m gonna say hello to Peter and see how much money I can make tonight." She gives Peter a fleeting peck in greeting before she howls over the roaring music "WHO WANTS TO PLAY POKER?!”
Fight so dirty, but you love so sweet
Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth
Late night devil, put your hands on me
And never, never, never ever let go
McLaggen doesn’t bother putting clothes back on after losing both his money and his clothes against Ursa. He still hovers next to the chair when Potter takes the seat he just emptied “No.” is Ursa’s only word
“What?! Why not?!” she simply quirks a brow at James in response
“Because you’re dating my brother”
“So?!”
“I don’t want neither your money, nor your clothes”
“Aw—”
“Now move it”
“Play beer pong with me instead!”
“Yes! We’re playing” Dorcas yanks her up by the arm, not wasting a second, and not even Ursa’s glare is enough to stop her from joining the lovely Marlene McKinnon at beer pong “You look… wow. Wow.” Marlene rolls her eyes at her but she blushes as she does it. Ursa takes a deep breath and plasters on a smile
“Alright. James, you're on my team”
“No cheating” Marlene points a stern finger at her and Ursa gasps in offense “This summer?” She reminds her
"I don't know what you're talking about"
"I'm watching you" Marlene does the cliche gesture that often accompanies those words. Ursa only flutters her lashes with a smile in return
“Right or Left?” James holds the ping pong ball behind his back
“Left!” Dorcas calls a bit too loudly
“Right. Tough luck, we start”
“You’re going down!” Marlene hollers at them, again with the unnecessarily loud and Ursa holds back the grimace at her Hörzellen (auditory cells) 's permanent damage.
It isn't long before three of them are drunk. James the most of them all, he's been taking Ursa's shots since she doesn't drink and it seems to have affected his balance directly onto Ursa. She's tried to subtly brush off his touch a dozen times but he's too drunk to notice it. Worst part is he would back off in an instant if he did. Peter hates that he notices it. Especially when their game crumbles into huddled chatter and she has to dodge another set of arms trying to wrap themselves around her. Marlene is a hugger when she's drunk. Mary joins them soon after, too drunk to remember the significance of personal space.
He watches Ursa swallow her own discomfort for long enough before he rises off the couch with a sigh. Apparently he’s choosing to listen to James. maybe he should’ve asked Remus what his take on the situation is, he’s usually far more reasonable and significantly less chummy with little Mrs Satan. It’s too late now. "Hey, hands off my girlfriend McKinnon" Peter nods to them and Marlene fastens her arms around his waist like a belt instead through giggles
"She smells nice"
"Of course he knows that" Mary finally steps away from Ursa and faces him instead. Unfortunately, no matter how many times Ursa dumps James onto Dorcas, he bounces back with mumbles about details she shares with Regulus, that remind him of her ‘mean gorgeous perfect twin who said he didn’t want to come tonight’
"I hate to be party pooper but I've already spent far too much time at this party without the prettiest girl here, so if you'll excuse us, we have better things to do" he takes her hand and her eyes travel him up and down, a scrutinizing gaze isolated from the bright smile on her face. He wonders for the thousandth time how she does it, they seem to have a life of their own
Their friends wolf whistle and howl at them but he ignores them. He heads for the dorms but her nails dig into his hand in refute. Instead, he keeps walking and heads for a lonely red couch. He slumps down on it and lets their hands fall apart.
She casts a silencing charm and rounds on him. She sits on his lap, straddling him "I thought we weren't gonna make out anymore"
"We're not. You just looked like you were suffering. Like I'm sure you are right now. We can just sit side to side and pretend to be talking or something" she pulls back with a sardonic smirks
"Aren't you my knight in shining armor"
"That would make you the damsel in distress and you're anything but that" Her eyes make that annoying glittering thing again "I just happen to know you hate physical touch but are stubborn enough to put yourself through it.”
“Why do you care? You think I’m a heartless psychopath”
“But I’m not. As much as I don't like you at the moment, no one deserves to have their boundaries crossed." Plus, she’s even more dangerous when she’s annoyed. He twirls her around and sets her down on the couch instead of his lap, no place of them tuching
“Ah, I see. You’re just a far better person than me, that’s it, isn’t it?”
“Isn’t everyone?” he counters and she rolls her eyes
“You’re a dramatic little shit, you know that?" She sighs and leans back against the back of the couch "I was upset, alright? I’m aware I didn’t handle it in the best way possible, I could’ve reacted better but what can I say, I’m a Black, what did you expect? We don’t handle emotions very well”
“This isn’t about your emotions, you did it before emoting, just in case you ever needed to hurt me, to control me. And don’t bring Sirius into this ”
“But it is. It isn’t about you. It’s about the fact that all I asked from him is a little bit of peace and for the thousandth time he’s gone and purposely done the opposite, and what? I’m just supposed to be okay with it. Why? Because he supposedly loves me? All he does is hurt me. What’s the difference from the rest of my family? They claim to love me too. They hurt me too. What's the bloody difference? You say I’m a heartless psychopath, but what’s the alternative? Just become a fucking mat for people to walk on like Regulus? I don’t fucking think so. Give me a better option and I might give it a try, but don't fucking sit there all high and mighty”
“I’m not asking you to fix your fucked up familiar trauma, I just want you to leave me out of it. I don’t care to be collateral damage, and this ‘being nice’ thing you’ve been doing makes it really hard not to think of myself as one of your pawns in this chess game you’ve created in your head against my best friend”
“I thought your low self-esteem couldn’t handle me being a bitch.” she deadpans
“Yeah, I thought so too, but at this point I think I’d rather you be your honest, shitty self to my face. I don’t think I value your opinion enough to hurt me anymore anyways, so I’m sure I can handle it”
“That’s what you think? That my real, honest self is shit?”
“Yes?” he says and she frowns
“Based on what? Because of the way I treat my brother? Maybe the way I cope with my family trauma isn’t satisfactory to you, but you might be surprised to find out it’s not all that I am. You don't know anything about me. You don't judge Sirius for the way he treats his family, so why can't you extend to me the same basic level of grace?”
"Because if I do I'll end up as collateral damage. Purposeful collateral damage" his eyes are sharp when he says this and she smirks, he knows it's about to sting
"So far all the collateral damage is… what? You have a more honest friendship with Marlene? It's not like she broke your heart. And don't pretend your self-esteem hasn't skyrocketed since I popped up. Sirius isn't an arsehole to you anymore, your friendship is stronger than ever, you’re no longer jealous of him and you no longer hide from the bloody mirror. Stop acting like you don't like being manipulated by me"
“You think I enjoy being manipulated?!” he rages, she truly has a different brand of audacity
“What I think is that you can’t honestly tell me you’re not happier now than you were before I came along” he doesn't move and she apparently deems this too slow because she fists a hand on his shirt and pulls him in for a peck he wishes were longer and deeper, even despite himself. He's left blinking at the space where she used to be as all the counter arguments that suddenly creep into his head now that she’s gone. But counter arguments and all one thought still presses into the back of his mind, he’d wanted to kiss her. Hormones he reminds himself
Call me in the morning to apologize
Every little lie gives me butterflies
Something in the way you're looking through my eyes
Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive
"You alright?" Moony slumps down in front of him. His neck is a bruise, his lips are red and his hair is tousled like someone's been running their hands through it. He doesn’t need to guess as to who did that.
"I'm pretty sure I won't be for long. On the bright side, if she murders me I will no longer be in danger of falling for the psychopath"
“I thought you said you weren’t in danger of falling for her” Sirius scowls in front of him
“No, but I’m done underestimating her or your warnings” he sighs
"She wouldn't murder you by the way, she’d just make you wish you were dead" Sirius waves him off slumping onto Remus' lap. Remus' arms come up around his waist without a second thought, like it’s already an instinct, and Sirius attaches himself to his neck
"Thank you, that makes me feel so much better"
"You're welcome"
"I was being sarcastic!"
"Just try to make the most of it, yeah? You get to kiss her, that must be fun"
"What is that supposed to mean Remus?" Sirius pulls away to scowl at his boyfriend
"It means she shares your DNA and there isn't a bit of you that isn't beautiful"
"Fuck that was smooth aaand you’re not listening to me anymore, you're making out again, yep, okay, I'm gonna go" he makes it all the way across the room when James comes waddling towards him
"Where's Reg? I miss him" he sighs into his arms, he’s always cuddly when he has a few drinks on him. Actually, he’s always cuddly, he just forgets other people aren’t when he’s drunk.
"Sleeping, probably"
"But I want him inside of me, why doesn't he want me?"
"I don't think there's a single world where Regulus Black doesn't want you James" James beams at him so brightly he might overpower the sun
"Help me sneak into the Slytherin dorm room!"
"Operation Slyther-In?"
"Operation Get Some?" James counters but shakes his head "Operation head. I want him to suck me off. You think he'll suck me off?"
"Not while you're pissed, but I'm sure he'll be more than glad to do it tomorrow when you're both sober"
"That's no fun, I’m horny now" he pouts "you think he'll let me blow him?" He asks eagerly, brightening up at the thought
"Why don't we take you to bed?"
"Yes! Brilliant! Peter, you're brilliant— Dorkyyy! I need your help, help us!"
"If you ever call me that again I'll unleash Ursa on you" she threatens when he reaches her "what do you want?"
"Reg, I want Reg"
"Ew"
"He's a bit sappy" Peter admits "wish I could blame it on the booze but that's just James for you"
"Urse was right, they are disgustingly in love"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, will you help us or not?"
"I'll help you if Marlene's in"
"You like Marleeeneee" James bops her nose. Thankfully for James, Peter pulls his hand back before any bodily harm comes to his lovely, useful hand. He's a big fan of said hand. So is regulus. He wants to show regulus what he can do with that hand “Marls! Marlene! McKinnon!”
"What." Marlene glares at the three of them
"Help us sneak James into Regulus' room or you put up with his whining" Peter reminds James to fight gravity with an elbow to the side, it doesn't entirely work.
"I can give you the whole tour if you're interested" Dorcas leans closer to Marlene
"Pass"
"Straight to my room then, alright" she winks and Marlene rolls her eyes
"Hard pass"
The entire trip to the dungeons (why do they have to be so far apart?!) Peter listens to James swoon about Regulus' perfect curls and Dorcas blatantly flirt with Marlene while the other brutally turns her down.
When they reach the dungeons Dorcas says the password and they walk in. Dorcas points them to Regulus' room "Wait, that's it? We just walk in?" Marlene looks around, it's the first time she's been here "why the hell did you need me for?" Peter leaves Dorcas and Marlene to their 'flirt & bicker'. He guides James up the stairs and opens the room Dorcas pointed to hoping it's the right one.
When they walk into the dorm they catch a sight they weren’t expecting because Ursa is sitting on top of Evan and Barty’s legs in his bed and she’s laughing as Barty tries to shove her off. They all look up at them when they walk in “what are you two doing here?” Evan sounds sleepy and lets go of Barty who is in his arms
“Dorcas let us in, James wanted to see—”
“Reg, are you asleep?” James stage whispers while full on believing he’s being quiet as a mouse.
“James? Wha—?”
“I wanna suck your cock” James says loud enough for everyone to hear and Regulus chokes on his own saliva
“That being said, he’s your problem now” Peter hands him over and notices Ursa’s eyes on him “What are you doing here?” she tilts her head to the side at him and smirks, he knows better than to wait for an answer “whatever, see you guys later” he doesn’t have to shut the door behind himself because Ursa does it with her wand, casting some spells after he’s gone too
He takes a deep breath, Marlene and Dorcas are still bickering but they’re standing much closer to one another, too close. Marlene looks a second away from punching her and two from pulling her into a kiss. He wonders if they even noticed that they’ve drifted closer.
Then Avery comes down with a scowl “What’s she doing here?” he sneers at Marlene without spotting Peter's blond curls
“We were just leaving” Peter grabs Marlene’s arm and yanks her away despite her protests
“I want to know what you were doing here in the first place” he crosses his arms in front of his chest as he blocks their path. Peter clutches his wand tighter and Marlene raises hers
“Aves!” Ursa’s voice comes from the top of the stairs “What are you still doing here? You should be at the party, I told you Amy’s gonna find someone else, it’s Halloween, the night for hookups”
“She’s at the Gryffindor party, I’m not invited to those” she tilts her head to the side and gestures to the two Gryffindors standing beside them.
“Now hurry up,” She takes the cat ears off her head and puts them on his “I saw her flirting with Amos”
“Wait, that still doesn’t explain why they are here, Gryffindors aren’t allowed back here”
“Yes, I wonder what a drunk teenager might be doing near his girlfriend’s dorm”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. If we get pranked again, I’m blaming you”
“And if you mention Amy’s weight again, I’ll skin you”
“I meant it as a compliment!”
“I’m not explaining it to you again, just go tell her you love her and she’s the most beautiful girl she’s ever seen”
“But she’s not. She’s gorgeous and I love her, I wouldn’t leave her for another girl, but she’s not the prettiest. You are technically prettier than her”
“Yeah, definitely don’t say that” Peter bites down on a laugh
“Sorry mate” Avery assumes Peter meant it in a ‘don’t compliment my girlfriend’ kind of way instead of the true way he intended ‘Amy will throw a drink in your face if you say that to her’ kind of way. He’s not stupid enough to correct him, instead he plays along
“Eh, it’s true” he kisses her temple to sell it and he seems to buy it.
"Now go on, get your girl back. Peter, why don't you give him some pointers while you two go upstairs to the party?" She smirks at him like the devil she is
"Oh, I don't think he needs them"
"Actually, I wanna know how you pulled her"
"Yeah, me too" Dorcas beams, linking her arm with his and Peter starts sweating. He mumbles and stutters his way through bullshit until Avery finally bites the hook and starts rambling on about Amy. He takes off to look for her there second they arrive. Turns out he really is in love with her, you can see it in the way his eyes light us when he talks about things she told him, he's just an 'idiot, horny teenager who's shit at expressing it'. That's Dorcas' direct quote.
"Like you're much better" Marlene scoffs at her
"What are you talking about? I've been very clear about the fact that I like you" Dorcas frowns with genuine confusion and to be fair, she isn't lying
"She truly has" and Peter has enjoyed every second of it
"Thank you! If anything you are the one who keeps sending me mixed signals"
"What part of 'you repulse me' is a mixed signal?! I just want you to leave me alone!"
"I—" Dorcas' words die in her mouth and she shrinks down on herself, sort of like a kicked puppy "I'm sorry, I didn't— I'll stop bothering you" she actually leaves and Marlene's left just blinking, like she truly can't believe Dorcas is gone
"Are you happy she's gone or hoping she comes back?" Peter asks "I can't read your facial expression right now"
"I'm just— I didn't expect her to just— I'm glad she's gone, come on, let's dance" she yanks him into the center of the living room and spins him around.
Later he sees Amy snogging the daylights out of Avery in a corner and he smiles to himself as he heads to bed.
Blood on my shirt, rose in my hand
You're looking at me like you don't know who I am
Blood on my shirt, heart in my hand
Still beating