Wolfstar Part II
It takes him a second but Moony kisses Sirius back. Of course he does. They fall onto his bed but don’t get much further. Peter shuts the curtains for them and casts a silencing spell with a smug beam “Are you alright?” Remus asks Sirius with careful fingers, pulling away so he can look him in the eye
“I don’t want to be like her” Sirius chokes out and Remus wipes away a tear
“You’re not. You’re nothing like her. I promise”
“I love you Moony, I’m in love with you, always have been, always will be”
“Since the end of third year”
“What?”
“That’s how long I’ve been in love with you” he smiles shyly and Sirius gasps
“You’re in love with me?” he asks in the most adorable, unaware voice Remus has ever heard, his eyes glimmering in the moonlight. Remus nods a hum in agreement, tucking Sirius long black hair behind his ear. His smile stretches further than he’s ever seen, his eyes sparkling with light and joy, the most beautiful art he’s ever seen “Oh. First year… September first”
“Liar. You did not! You just stared at the last scar I’d gotten” he wrinkles his nose, it’d been the one across the bridge of my nose, it’s still there
“I was staring at your face, thought you were too beautiful to be real”
“You don’t have to lie to me Sirius, it’s fine, I know I’m not a love-at-first-sight kind of face”
“I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. I can’t think of a time I ever thought you weren’t beautiful. I don’t know when I fell in love with you because I don’t know when it happened, it feels like I always have but just didn’t know it” and Remus just has to kiss him after that
“What prompted this?” He asks between kisses “Why now?” Sirius turns his gaze around
“Ursa was bored and wanted me to leave her alone. Or she loves me and wants me to be happy. Still can’t figure her out”
“We’ll figure it out, yeah?”
“We?”
“Yeah. We'll figure it out together. Peter called me a bonehead, snapped some sense into me” their laughter fades into a sappy smile “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you to say no when you asked about Benjy”
“If it makes you feel better I don’t think I was entirely aware of why I was asking, just that for some reason your opinion was very, very important” his lip tilts up in a smug smirk "were you jealous?"
"Very, very jealous" Remus hums in agreement and Sirius knocks him onto his back with the force of his kiss
Peter looks stiff as a board with fear shining clear as day in eyes every time he and Ursa so much as cross paths, so she tells him to meet her by the back of the lake after class. Alone. Nothing scary about that. Definitely not why he lets everyone in his vicinity and then a few more people where he’s headed.
There’s a slytherin-green blanket on the floor and she’s soaking up the tan when he gets there “Couldn’t we meet somewhere closer? My feet have blisters” it’d been a small trek to get there, the view is amazing but he can’t enjoy it, his senses keep reminding him that a simple push from the psycho beside him and boom, he’ll be dead. She wouldn’t even have to hide his body, it’d look like an accident.
“No. Muffliato” she pats for him to sit and he does so with a huff “here people can spot us but not watch us, and it’s a good thing because you’re the worst actor I’ve ever seen”
“Yeah, I won’t argue with that” he sighs
“You look in pain every time I’m near you”
“Not pain, just growing levels of discomfort”
“Just what a girl wants to hear” for whatever reason his cheeks decide to burn “but that’s why you’re here, it won’t be uncomfortable once you’re used to it”
“What?” he chokes on his own spit
“Wow, you really don’t wanna kiss me. I must admit, I didn’t see that one coming”
“Hold on, back up, you want us to make out until it’s… normal?”
“You’ve got a better idea?” she stares at him calmly and then her look turns to one of pity “Oh. Kissing means something to you. Sorry, I didn’t—”
“It means something when I know the person I’m kissing doesn’t want to kiss me!” he snaps, suddenly feeling vulnerable by her pitying tone, why does he feel like he needs to defend himself? This isn’t something worthy of shame “I can kiss someone just cause they’re hot, and thoroughly enjoy myself, which is exactly why I feel like a creep every time we kiss knowing you don’t actually want to kiss me!” he’s breathing hard, his face goes red from his outburst but she just blinks at him with the same indifference as before her pity
“Says who?”
“Oh, come on! Are you really gonna tell me I’m your type?” he huffs
“Of course not. I don’t have a type” she tells him calmly and he rolls his eyes so far back he gets a glimpse of his brain “I’m not trying to comfort you. I genuinely don’t have a type. I never want to kiss anyone, but kissing is more fun than doing nothing” she shrugs and he frowns at her
“You’re asexual?”
“Don’t know, don’t care. Wanna make out?”
“You just told me you never want to make out with me”
“No. I said kissing can be fun and Emmeline Vance said you’re a good kisser”
“She did?” his face lights up and she nods
“So? What do you say? Wanna give it a shot?”
“Alright, but this time try not to bite my tongue off”
“Oh, you’re giving me pointers now?”
“I’m the good kisser” he reminds her and her laughter sounds almost genuine “It’s not a battle, you don’t have to fight me” she fist his shirt and pulls him towards her in a slow kiss she lets him conquer, he deepens it into parted lips and he pulls back “Okay, maybe I enjoyed the battle a bit”
“Oh thank God,” she sighs in relief and pushes him back so he’s no longer on top of her “I hate not being in control”
“I don’t think I like being in control” he says and Ursa climbs onto his lap, straddling his thighs “Don’t tell anyone I said that”
“It can be our little secret” she whispers into his lips before brushing them together.
“There’s another thing that’s been bugging me,” Peter puts a hand to her chest and pulls back slightly “did you really kill their bunny?” he doesn’t look at her for fear of what he’ll find in her eyes
“I didn’t know what the spell did,” she admits in a whisper, her voice is the softest he’s ever heard it before “I tried to bring it back, that’s why it looked… like… that”
“So you thought the best course of action was smearing its blood on the walls?”
“It was already dead and if Trixie was busy doing that then—” she cuts herself off abruptly “you can’t tell Sirius about that”
“Why not?”
“Are we gonna snog or not?” she snaps instead of an answer. He blinks at the sudden change in topic
“When you say it like that it sounds so tempting” he bites out sarcastically but his voice betrays him by wavering
“I don’t want to talk about it, '' she admits “I just… can I please kiss you instead?” his instincts tell him to say no. But she’s peering up at him through her long, sweeping lashes, asking him to please kiss her and looking sinworthy, too beautiful to resist, he can’t resist having a want to touch
“Uh, what the hell?” he shrugs off his reservations and lets their lips crash together and dissipate her anger.
It’s easier than it’s been before, different. Without every eye on them and that nagging feeling of wrongness. It isn’t a show for everyone but a practice where they’re allowed to mess up and make mistakes. When Peter’s tongue goes too far she pulls away and lets him know. When she uses too much teeth, he lets her know. They practice slow and fast, harsh and soft, sometimes pulling away and agreeing to try something different, other times letting the kiss naturally diffuse into something different. Eventually they find a pace they both enjoy. And they enjoy it. For a moment it’s just him kissing the most stunningly beautiful girl he’s ever laid eyes on, tracing patterns on her smooth, soft skin. Not the bunny killer or his friend’s little sister, just an extremely attractive hot chick. Their hands don’t stray far from their faces but it feels good. Too good. That’s when things start to go south. Or rather his bloodstream does.
He pulls back, away from her and sits up, hiding the tent in his trousers. She pouts up at him and he can’t deny that she looks perfect with spit, swollen lips. He’s allowed and she seems to like it, so he kisses that pouty mouth, graces it with his teeth, bites it away. She climbs back onto his lap and “oh,” his face turns the deepest shade of red and she giggles “relax darling, I told you, I don’t care, you don’t have to look so embarrassed”
“Easy for you to say, you’re not about to come in your trousers” he says and she giggles
“Yeah, you’re right, I’m not wearing pants” she peers up at him through her long sweeping lashes and his cock twitches in response.
"Fuck" He groans, knocking his head forward onto her shoulder “Fuck me”
“I don’t think fucking me will help you not to cum” she smirks and he whines
“You’re evil” he whimpers and she smirks at him “Don’t you dare” he warns her devilish mind and she rocks her hips against his, grinding against his bulge. He bites down on his lip, hard enough to draw blood, to stop the moan from escaping. She climbs off his lap with a chuckle, the absolute heathen tease.
“I hate you” they just lay on the grass side by side waiting for his… strain to subseed.
“I’m used to being hated” she shrugs
“That’s not tru—”
“How are you feeling with your little make over?” she turns on her side so she’s facing him. He blinks at the abrupt change in topic but lets it happen
“It’s weird” his eyes trace down the slope of her nose, he gets the sudden inexplicable and entirely odd urge to run his finger across it
“Weird, I don't dodge mirrors anymore? or I don’t feel like myself, weird?”
“I don’t— I didn’t— How do you kno—” he cuts himself off before letting too much out but judging by her sad smile, everything is written plainly across his face. Had he been avoiding his reflection? He didn’t think he was, didn’t realize he was doing so if he did, but it doesn’t sound wrong either
“The Potters’ mirror in the living room, you always dodge it, I don’t even think you noticed you do it”
“Can we talk about something else?” he yanks on the sleeves of his sweater but they won’t hide him, it won’t go further down, it’s not big enough anymore
“How long have you been a rat?”
“Not long, it took us almost two years of trial and research before we managed it”
“But now that you’ve done it, how long do you think it’ll take Lupin?”
“He’s smart and he’s talented, so probably no more than a few months”
“A few months? As in plural?”
“The last part depends on the weather, so it’s a bit unpredictable how long it’ll take”
“How does it work?”
“Well, first you have to carry a Mandrake leaf in your mouth for a whole month which is about the foulest thing I’ve ever had to do— it took us till the end of the month to realize we could charm it to taste good and we swallowed a few when we forgot to re-apply the sticking charm, it always wore off during the night”
“your whole face lights up when you talk about it, did you know?”
“It does?” his lips part and his cheeks flush, she smiles at him softly
“It does. It’s cute” she peers up at him and he narrows his eyes on her
“You’re buttering me up”
“You’re sweeter that way”
“you’re such a liar” he says as his cheeks turn a deep shade of red “I thought we agreed to no flirting”
“Yeah, sorry, you’re right. though to clarify, you’re allowed to flirt with me. If you want. Now please, continue” she settles onto her side with hands under her cheek as a pillow, ready to listen. When he remains mute, just watching her, after a few seconds, she nudges him on with a gentle “What did you do after you managed not to eat the leaf?”
“Right,” he nods and shakes his head. He sets himself back down with his hands behind his head and he talks until his throat is soar, that gives way back to something even more fun. Peter can’t comprehend how he was ever against this, the taste of her, the feel of her, it isn’t long before he needs another break, even though he really, really doesn't want to stop. He’s breathing hard and summoning thoughts of the mean sweaty lady in that muggle movie of the little smart wizard girl with the red ribbon Remus showed them once, was it called Malia? Mathea? Something like that
“You doing alright?” Ursa asks him with a smirk
“Yeah, just— ca—can you not t—talk for a sec— no, yeah, talk, tell— tell me about messed up shit you’ve done”
“Really messed up or just illegal?”
“Just illegal?”
“Well, yeah, extortion is technically illegal”
“And what the hell is your definition of really messed up?!”
“I met this guy that did very realistic wax sculptures and this one time my mother pissed me off so I had him do a really gruesome one of her father, covered the bottom with pork blood so it’d really look like a severed head and placed it on her bed while my father was in France” yeah, that works.
“Wait, is that the same grandfather Sirius is convinced she murdered?”
“He thinks that? That idiot, of course she didn’t kill him,” she chuckles to herself “her brother did” his jaw drops and he’s suddenly glad there’s witnesses around. Even if they’re too busy grinding against a tree.
“I can’t tell if you’re kidding or not”
“Definitely lying. Except for the bit about my uncle, he definitely killed him”
“Are you lying? How on earth would you know that? Why would you know that?”
“He told me” she shrugs casually
“I don’t believe you” he narrows his eyes on her and she smiles
“That’s smart of you”
“You think you’re so good at manipulating people”
“Do I?”
“Yes. But if you were as good as you think you are then you would be able to get Regulus to back off Remus”
“Would I now?” she pulls a cigarette out of her pocket and lights it with her wand
“You would. Too bad you can’t”
“You’re cute”
“No flirting” he reminds her
“Do you think I can’t see past your shitty attempt at manipulation?”
“Give me a little credit, of course not,” he takes a drag off her cigarette “just thought you might appreciate it this way more,” he says to the sky and a smirk stretches across his face “more… fun”
“Now you’re playing” when she looks up at him, her eyes sparkle with her smile. She snatches the cigarette off his hands and stabs it on the ground “but don’t touch my stuff”
“Remus and Regulus?”
“Consider it done” she hums to the sky
“Cool. Ready for another go?”
She looks him up and down before climbing back onto his lap and brushing her mouth with his.
That night when that shiny white thing fills his hand it's with those damn mercurial eyes in his mind.
Peter sees the lumos seeping through the curtains of Remus’ bed and makes his way towards it. He freezes the second before he opens it but Sirius’ still in James' bed with their silencing charm and he knows he’s safe. He slips inside and hurriedly shuts the curtains back behind him. Remus glimpses at him with a quirked brow before returning to his book as Peter casts a silencing charm “Something— uh— Something happened. I— uh— I did something…” Remus looks up from his book with a sigh and rubs his temple
“What did you do?”
“I—uh, made out with Ursa? Like properly made out and I, uh, liked it. I liked it a lot”
“So?”
“So that’s not all. When I came back I, uh, ugh, this is so embarrassing” he hides his furious blush behind his hands
“Thought of her while you wanked?” Remus says it briskly but Peter keeps his face hidden as he nods “You’d never done that before?”
“No— Well, not since I found out some of the things she did to Sirius— Merlin, Sirius is going to kill me”
“Probably best not to tell him you wanked to the thought of his baby sister”
“Younger”
“You sound like James” Remus chuckles and Peter slaps his arm “Sorry. But what exactly do you want me to tell you?”
“Honestly? I was kind of hoping you’d tell me you do it too sometimes and that I’m not a terrible human?”
“Wanking or wanking to the thought of Ursa?”
“We share a tiny dorm room, I unfortunately already know you wank” and to the thought of black hair and gray eyes too, only a lighter hue, though not as bright as the ones James does.
“Not her,” after a beat of silence he adds in a low voice “But Regulus once or twice”
“Before or after James?”
“Both”
“It’s those damn stupid hot genes” Peter hisses
“Yeah… You’re not a terrible human Peter”
“No, I’m just fucked”
“You’re just being dramatic, it’s just hormones, it doesn’t mean anything, just that you think she’s hot. Which she is”
“Yeah.” he murmurs trying to convince herself “Okay, thanks Moony” he stops with the curtains in his hand “I never thought wanking to a Black is a bad thing, by the way, just that she’s a psycho that purposely hurt my friend” he adds and Remus looks away and back to his book
“Goodnight Pete”
“Oh, come on! I'm just curious as to why he isn't in your bed"
"Maybe because you're here?"
"He wasn't here before I came in either"
"Goodnight Pete"
"Don't tell me you two are already fighting. You getting together was supposed to make things easier, not harder. Well… maybe except for one part, though I guess in your case it's actually two parts—"
"Get off my bed."
"Yeah, okay" he scatters off and bumps right into the figure reaching for those exact curtains
"Trying to steal my boyfriend Pettigrew?" Sirius crosses his arms in front of his chest but he’s smiling, he’s been smiling a lot today.
"Well, he did offer to make out with me not long ago"
"What?!" The teasing turns into outrage, he lunges for the sneaky little rat who flees out of reach just in time
"Sirius, come to bed" Remus pats his side and, true to his animagus form, he goes.
Kingsley opens the bathroom and Sirius beams at him "King! Moony and I are dating!" He calls out cheerfully and the other boy sighs with a roll of his eyes, not caring in the slightest
"I hate all of you" he huffs, clearly not thrilled for people shagging in the same room he’s in becoming a regular thing
"Oi! Homophobic much?"
"Pads" Remus whispers his name and that's enough for him to settle
"Ooh! No 'sweetheart' tonight?" James coos loudly from his own bed
"You already told him about that? Pads, that was this morning" he says fondly and Sirius holds chin up proudly
"Of course" he says with a kiss on the cheek "now if you excuse me boys, I'm gonna make out with my beautiful, sexy boyfriend" he doesn't wait for an answer as he shuts the curtains to the sound of Remus laughter
"Don't forget the silencing spells!"
"Or safety spells, just because you can't get pregnant doesn't mean you're safe!" They both chuckle as Kingsley glares at them, he shuts his curtains and casts his own silencing spell
"No Regulus tonight?"
"Barty asked him to stay the night, Evan's having a bit of a tough time. His father's already making new plans for him to marry now that Ursa's no longer a viable option and Ursa's still not talking to him. They expected her to change her mind by now, but she's the Black-brand of stubborn"
"Shit. That sucks for Evan, does he know who it is?"
"Not yet, but I hate that that's a reality. That was Regulus and Ursa's reality and would've been Sirius as well"
"I'm just glad it isn't." He says and James nods "do you think Sirius and Moony will get married?"
"We'll have a double autumn wedding, Reg vetoed summer cause it's sweaty, I vetoed winter cause it's cold and spring gives people allergies. Plus the colors of the leaves are pretty."
"Sounds like you've thought about it"
"We can make it a triple one if you find someone. Even if it isn't a Black"
"What?" Peter jolts
"No, hear me out, I was just thinking, I have my Black, Moony has his Black, it sucks that Ursa's a bit bonkers so you can't have your own"
"My own Black?"
"Yeah," James tucks himself into bed "they're the best"
"Are you telling me I should fuck her?"
"What? No" there's a beat of silence before James speaks again "though now that I think about it, she'd probably be really fucking good at it"
"I guess." this conversation really isn't helping his hormone issue "People say crazy people are good in bed"
"And she's a Black. Regulus is like a religious experience, even just holding his hand, and if Moony's anything to go by, Sirius isn't half bad either"
As if on cue, Remus' bed rocked on its legs. The silencing charms might stop them from hearing the sounds Remus and Sirius make and it might stop the couple from hearing the screech of the bed dragging against the wooden floors, but it doesn't stop James and Peter from witnessing it. They call a quick goodnight to each other before securing themselves in the comfort of their own silencing charm.
"Hello Pet" Ursa swings her legs over the bench to join them on the Gryffindor table. She kisses Peter's cheek and puts a fork in his greasy hands for his fries.
"Hi doll"
"Don't you two look happy?" She hums to Sirius, he’s beaming at Remus "oh, it reminds me, Remus, Benjy was looking for you, he's been meaning to talk to you since his failed date with the ugliest Black"
"I’m not the ugliest black and why does he want to talk to Moony? And what does our date have to do with anything?"
"Don’t you remember what I told you…?" Her brother blinks at her not putting two and two together and she forces the corner of her lip downwards "about you two having the same issue…?"
"Moony's the issue?!" Sirius gasps, simultaneously outraged and horrorized "he's in love with him too?!" Peter nudges her under the table, she kicks him back
"I did mention it being different shades of the same issue…"
"Damn right it's different shades! He barely knows him!"
"Calm down Sirius"
"Calm down?! You haven't been my man for a week and they're already trying to take you from me! I knew you were too good—"
"So you'd rather he be with you because no one else wants him?" Ursa quirks a brow and Peter sighs, Sirius’ falling right into the palm of her hand
"It's not choosing you if you're the only offer"
"You're still choosing me, right?" Sirius chews on his bottom lip, he turns from Peter to Remus
"Of course. Even if you're ever not the only offer, you're still the only option. And two people asked you out right in front of me on our way here, if anyone has to be worried, it's me" Sirius clears his throat and stands on the table "what are you doing? Sirius, get down from there!" Ursa’s lips spread into a feline smirk
"Everybody! Listen up! I have something to say!" He cries over the cacophony of chatters
"Use the sonorous charm!" Peter gives up on helping the situation. He tried, he failed, now he’ll enjoy himself. Remus kicks him under the table as Sirius does just as he's told and Remus head falls into his hands as the entire hall turns to look at his brand new boyfriend.
"I WANT ALL OF YOU TO KNOW THAT REMUS JOHN LUPIN IS A TAKEN MAN. HE'S MINE, SO IF ANYONE OF YOU IS EVEN THINKING OF ASKING HIM OUT YOU CAN SHOVE YOUR—"
"That's enough" Remus yanks him down with a deep flush but a smile tugs at the corner of his lips as the crowd breaks into frantic gossiping
"By the way, Benjy just had a question about a spell he couldn't get right" Ursa tells him with a smirk and a wink
"What?! So he's not in love with my Moons?!"
"First of all, ew. Don't ever call him that again. Second of all, duh. I was messing with you. Actually, I just won a bet. Pay up everybody!" she holds her hand out and Mary, Lily and Marlene all hand her money, as does Cardaroc, both Prewetts, some Hufflepuffs, a sprinkled few Ravenclaws, even Kingsley. She clears her throat and Peter slides five gallons towards her
"That's not fair! You cheated!" James calls as he storms through the double doors with cheeks flushed from running all the way there because rumors do truly fly here. She simply holds her palm out and with a grumble he slams fifty galleons into her hand
“Thank you” she smirks as she pockets her new small fortune
“You slimy little shit” Sirius narrows his eyes on her and it only brightens her smile
James' loud entrance drew some not so welcomed attention “it’s fucking spreading,” Crabbe huffs
“You think it’s contagious?” Snape sneers
“Fucking fag—” his words die in Goyle’s mouth and an invisible force restricts his airway and he’s chocking, suffocating while blisters break out across his whole face and body
“Finite incantatum!” McGonagal’s voice soars above all others “Mrs Black.”
“Yes, professor?” she looks up at her through her lashes, looking innocent as one can be
“Professor Slughorn will deal with you as I accompany Mr Goyle to the hospital wing”
“Of course” she smiles brightly at her
“Young lady” Slughorn sighs “I'll be seeing you after class to clean up the cauldrons"
"Objection your honor, self defense. I merely incapacitated him from attacking my brothers with the strike of their venomous tongue, it leaves scars far deeper and long-lasting than I could ever give him. His boils will heal but his words might fester. Dumbledore will agree with me, where is he?" Peter swallows at her mention of the old man, the leader of the order Voldemort instructed her to infiltrate
"He had an errand to run" Slughorn mumbles vaguely
"Then my detention should wait until he gets back and we can talk to him" Peter stiffens beside her, his blood freezes, he wonders if he’s staring at a baby death eater. He wonders if he kissed a baby death eater. He wonders if she’ll be the death of all of them.
"You'll make a fine lawyer one day Mrs Black," Slughorn adores her, so she never has to go through much trouble getting what she wants from him. Even he himself seems glad for having an excuse to do so "I'll bring it up to him when he gets back" he hums with a smile
"Thank you professor" she beams and the man walks away.
"I didn't know you could do that" Sirius hums "I never thought of taking it up to Dumbledore"
"You should try it with McGonagall" she flutters her lashes at her brother with a voice that’s far too sweet
"She'll probably double your detention" Remus notes and the pout on her face, that’s the reason she suggested he do it.
"Thank you for defending my honor" James tells her, chipper, taking the seat on the other side of her "I knew you liked me"
"And I knew you were delusional Jamie"
"You care about me" he singsongs
"Want matching blisters?"
"Please no"
"Good boy" she hands him a potato off Peter's plate
"Sirius is the dog, not me" he tells her as he chews the potato
"Wanna make out?" Sirius turns to Remus
"We're in the middle of the great Hall and everyone's still staring at us from the shit you and your sister pulled"
"Shit, are you mad about that? I know you said you were okay with telling people, but maybe you changed your—"
"Let's find an empty broom closet" he whispers and holds his hand out for Sirius to take. Sirius looks at it with a radiant smile before taking it in his with a beam and follows him out the room with a skip to his step.