Hoggy Warty Hogwarts
We were in the backseat
Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar
"I rent a place on Cornelia Street"
I say casually in the car
We were a fresh page on the desk
Filling in the blanks as we go
As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead
Leading us home
Sirius sulks. Throughout the whole, entire journey in the carriage pulled by thestrals, he sulks. His siblings giggle and he sulks. James tries to distract him but it’s fruitless, he sulks. When Ursa whispers into Peter’s ear and he laughs too, Sirius genuinely contemplates shoving her off the bloody carriage. Of course, he doesn’t know he himself is the exact thing Peter’s laughing about, a fleeting comment about his seeming jealousy and the comment made to the Carrows. Peter whispers something back to them and she giggles like a regular, normal school girl instead of the evil, satanic demon that she is. The corner of Regulus lip even titters up.
“Regulus,” she grabs his wrist the way Sirius did before but this time instead Regulus doesn’t pull away. She bites down on a laugh and stops herself from outright staring at Sirius as she tells her twin “sei il mio fratello preferito, ti amo” you’re my favorite brother, I love you. she cups his face in her hands a kisses his forehead. Regulus, the little shit, plays right into it
“Tu es aussi mon préféré. Je t’aime plus que—” You’re my favorite as well. I love you more than—
“Oh, get a room!” Sirius snarls “shut up, why don’t you two make a club?” Sirius grumbles and pointedly turns away from them
“Not a bad idea. We should call it the Black Twins club” she rubs in the reminder they’re something beyond what he’ll ever be, they were born together, made together
“You should because you’re definitely not welcomed in the Black Brothers club!” he snaps back and Ursa clutches her wand
“I can’t believe you remember that” Regulus notes and he huffs a laugh “I’d forgotten about that”
“Congratulations. You finally made it into a family clu—”
“Levicorpus” Ursa casts the charm and Sirius is lifted into the air and hover above their heads as the wind soars past him
“Ursa, have you lost your mind?!” James cries out
“Never had one” Sirius reminds him. Ursa cocks a brow at them and with another wave of her wand Regulus joins Sirius dangling in the air
“Hey! Why are you taking it out on me?!”
“Ha! And you say she’s your favorite!” Sirius exclaims at Regulus
“She still is” Regulus looks at him smug
“Ursa put them down!” James orders her.
“James don—” Remus jumps from his seat but he’s too late. She smirks at James and her hand goes limp. Sirius and Regulus plummet through the air, crashing down alarmingly fast and diving towards the great lake. They land with a loud splash.
“Oops” she beams and James glares at her
“Should’ve seen that one coming” Peter opens a bag of potato chips and sits back to watch the spectacle.
“Are you insane?! They could’ve gotten hurt!” he roars and the corner of her lip twitches up but she keeps the smile down, has she finally gotten the great Saint Potter to lose it? She wonders how far she can take this rage of his
“Do you really think I care about that?” she laughs. Harm to those he loves is his trigger, she’s seen it before, before he decided she was someone he was going to love, someone he already loves. Corny and disgusting. If anyone can reject James' incessant insistence of love, even when not even the reserved and secluded Regulus could, then it is definitely Ursa Black.
“I know you do”
“Not wanting someone to die doesn’t mean caring for their wellbeing”
“No. But loving them does, and I know that even if you are a frigid bitch you love your brothers”
“Ugh” she could throw up. Actually, staring at his face makes her want to throw up. Such a cliché overtly-sappy line. Every time a word comes out of his mouth she’s embarrassed both her siblings fell for him. And he talks a lot. She’ll grant it to him though, he’s stubborn, a tough cookie to crack, he doesn’t give up. That doesn’t mean she can’t watch him suffer though. She can almost stand him when he’s in distress. That is why she bats her lashes at him and nods “You’re right, we should probably check on them” her puppy frown shapeshifts into a smirk and she shoves him off the carriage. She doesn’t hate him as he crashes down at quick speed crying out as he does. She almost likes him as he splashes down.
“You do realize Sirius will be an absolute nightmare if we don’t throw you off this carriage, right?” Remus sighs, already picturing Sirius whines. They can almost take form in his mind.
“First off, he’s always a nightmare. Second, we could all jump”
“Why on earth would we do that?” Remus says already bored and ready for the conversation to be over. Peter hides a smile behind a chip, thrilled to hear whatever bullshit is about to spew out of her mouth
“Come on, live a little. Aren’t you supposed to be part of the legendary dauntless pranksters? Everyone will think you chickened out of jumping”
“Really? That’s the best you’ve got?” Remus raises a brow at her as Peter watches back and forth between them “Aren’t you supposed to be a mastermind at manipulation?”
“I’m not a mastermind at manipulation, Sirius is a drama queen, he’s just really easy to manipulate and don’t pretend you don’t know that too”
“I’m not willingly jumping into that stinky lake. It’s cold and to be honest, I don’t even like you” Remus notes and she smiles, a genuine one, and nods in understanding. She can see why Sirius fell so pathetically head over heels for him.
“She probably already knows that. You’re not the one she’s trying to convince” Peter side eyes her “Is it?”
“What are you talking about?” she frowns at him with confusion
“I’m the one you’re manipulating, trying to use my insecurity about not fitting in” he pops another chip into his mouth. She opens her mouth to deny it but he cuts her off “Stop pretending. And stop manipulating us. I’m not jumping in the lake either”
She nods and sinking down into a seat with a defeated sigh and bright shiny eyes “Right. Because I’m mastermind at manipulation and a frigid bitch whose entire existence only derives on making everyone around her just as bitter and sad as she is” her voice cracks with the lump on her throat and Peter almost believes her, she’s truly that good. The unshed tears darken the grey in her eyes to an almost Black but they’re still glistening orbs and his hand itches with the twitch to sketch that shine
“Aren’t you the one that proudly proclaimed herself a mastermind manipulator last week?” Remus stares at her, he’s definitely heard her literally brag about it over the summer more than once. Even if they barely spoke all summer, he’d witnessed her saying that, a true inconvenience to Ursa no doubt. She wipes away the lonely tear rolling down her cheek.
“How do you do that?” Peter nods to her tears as he munches on another potato chip “do you think of something really sad like puppies dying or—how? Do you pinch yourself until the tears come?”
“It’s a secret” she smiles at him, any pretense of sorrow dropped “but I’ll tell you if you promise me one thing”
“What’s that?”
“Well… I already told you, there is one thing I want” she speaks slowly, carefully enunciating each word
When no words follow her dramatic pause Peter asks her “What is it you want?”
She leans closer to him and tucks his hair behind his ear. She whispers in his ear, her breath hot against his skin “Stalling” they land on the sturdy, solid ground. She pulls back, he feels the absence of her warmth. She winks at him, a smirk drawn on her smug lips, he has an impulse to touch it, wipe it away with his thumb. Or maybe his mouth. He frowns at himself, where did that thought come from?
“Dammit, we walked right into that one, didn’t we?” Remus mutters to himself, too self-aware that it didn’t take much on her part to distract them and reminding Peter that he’s there too. When he blinks she’s standing over the edge of the carriage, that cocky smile flashing right at him.
“You can push me off the carriage now” she holds her arms out and braces herself for the momentum that will propel her forwards. She turns her head to the ground ready to take it head on
“Nicely played” Peter grants her. Somehow, he finds he doesn’t really mind. She plays people the way he plays chess and somewhere, some deep, repressed, deprived part of him is nourished. He nudges her forwards, softly. When she looks back at him, he’s smiling back at her
I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend
I'd never walk Cornelia Street again
“Are you eyeing up my boyfriend Moony?” James teases him, adjusting himself over the cold wedgie his unplanned lake-dive is giving him. They’re on their Gryffindor table at the Great Hall, during the sorting ceremony. Lupin’s staring at Regulus further down on the Slytherin table, he was smart and quick enough to use a drying spell on himself before McGonagall caught them and punished them by condemning them to sit through the entire opening ceremony in soaking wet robes. Ursa even fixed his hair for him so he’s still looking as perfect and gorgeous as always. He’s sitting next to his sister on one side and Dorcas on the other. Barty and Evan, usually attached at his hip are further down the table, purposely away from them
“Watch your back, our Moony’s quite the charmer” Sirius nudges him
“And he thinks Regulus is prettier than Sirius” Peter reminds him, bitting down on a wicked smile
“Hands off my man Moons, get your own Black”
“I’m available” Sirius beams at him
“I’m good” Remus turns red and back to James quickly “I heard something during the prefects meeting,” James raises his eyebrows at him, Peter furrows his and Sirius is still caught up on his indignation over Remus ‘I’m good’ in response to his offer “I overheard Snape telling Reg to watch his back”
“You think he’s planning something?” Peter asks, staring at the greasy head on the Slytherin table.
“It didn’t sound like a threat, more like a warning. I don’t think most Slytherins will take kindly to him rejecting the bald man they worship” Remus sees James face pale
“It’s probably nothing” Peter reassures them but even to him it sounds empty
“They all share a common room,” James scowls “and they could try something while he sleeps! What if—”
***
“Breathe” Sirius cuts him off “Mate, trust me, he’s smart, he’s a talented wizard and he knows how to stay out of trouble. And even if he didn’t our deranged, twisted sister has his back” James opens his mouth to argue but Sirius cuts him off “Once, our cousin Narcissa got a new doll for her birthday, Reg asked if he could play with it she said dolls were for girls and not boys, so Ursa scooped the eyes off Cissy’s other doll and left them on her pillow, its melted head dangling on her bed post. Every night a different doll until she finally caved and handed over her doll. And SHE DIDN’T EVEN GET IN TROUBLE! The bitch pinned it on me. ON ME! Our hanged the decapitated heads over my bed like a sky of nightmares as punishment—which I’m sure was HER IDEA— and she even convinced Kreacher to put a permanent sticking charm on them so no matter how hard I tried I COULD NEVER TAKE IT DOWN. I HAD TO WAKE UP TO THOSE HIDEOUS, MUTILATED—"
“Breathe mate,” James pats Sirius back in a quick switch of roles “deep breaths, in and out. There you go”
“Sorry.” Sirius smooths down his hair and wills his heart to settle “I got a bit carried away there, didn’t know it still bothered me so much”
***
“I’m so looking forward to a whole year of dating the doll-killer” Peter sighs
“My point is, James,” Sirius says, then blinks a frown of confusion “what is my point?”
“That we should change our names and run as far away from her as possible?” Peter offers
“Maybe. But she gave Reg Cissy’s doll” Sirius tells them “She won’t let anyone hurt him, she’ll keep him safe—maybe not sane, but she’ll keep him alive and physically whole”
“Mulciber just said something to him” Sirius shoots to his feet from the Gryffindor table at the Great Hall during the sorting ceremony, there goes his he can defend himself right off the window. Anyone who messes with his little brother has to answer to him. He’s not at all being subtle about his blatant staring at the Slytherin table.
“Sirius sit down, you’ll make it worse.” he listens to Remus but his eyes don’t leave his brother
“There, Ursa flirted him into silence, crisis aborted” Peter quips
“Not that we won’t be having a word with Mulciber afterwards” James adds
“What was that?” Sirius frowns at Peter
“James, I don’t think Regulus will appreciate that” Remus points out
“What was what?” James hums to Sirius, purposely ignoring Remus’ warning
“That smile.” Sirius glares at Peter and clenches his teeth “You smiled when you said her name. I know what that smile means, Pettigrew!”
“I’m merely recognizing that she’s very gifted in the craft of manipulation” he, it’s obviously clear, isn’t.
“For fuck sakes Peter! I warned you two hours ago not to fall for her!”
“I didn’t!”
“You were practically drooling when you realized she’d just been stalling” Remus notes, though if you ask Peter he’d probably go with the word betrays instead of notes
“I wasn’t! I admit, it was crafty and I was impressed but I—”
“Mr Pettigrew,” Dumbledore cuts him off “if you wish to continue talking: speak up, my ear isn’t what it once used to be” Peter turns a deep shade of red and sinks into his seat.
Every eye is on him, including the gray sets they were talking about. She winks at him. Sirius isn’t oblivious to this, his head falls onto his hands with a groan “Not again” he utters banging his head against the wooden table as the ceremony moves on and slowly the eyes drift back away from them.
“Sorry mate, us marauders can’t resist that Black charm” James grins and Sirius glares at him, Remus becomes fascinated by McGonagall’s unfascinating, usual speech.
“I haven’t fallen for any Black charm” Peter feels the need to clarify.
Reg meets James' eye on the Slytherin table and his grin only broadens. Dorcas whispers something in his ear and he faces her with a dreadful glare. His smile wavers “What if something happens to them?”
“Then he can give them detention” Remus offers but even to his ears it sounds like a weak resolution “I don’t know, maybe you should just talk to him”
“Yeah, I will” James agrees but the sadness in his eyes doesn’t leave
“Gryffindor” Peter says with a gentle smile and nudges James under the table, reinstating their usual guessing game for the first years.
“Ravenclaw” he sighs, agreeing to table the worry for the time being
“Lads, what house do you reckon?”
“Hufflepuff” Lupin says and Sirius accepts his Slytherin claim with a pout.
“Ravenclaw!” The sorting hat roars and the Ravenclaw table erupts with applause
“Nice one Jamie” but despite their friends' attempts at distraction, Sirius and James scheme on a prank that’ll put the Slytherins in their place.
You hold my hand on the street
Walk me back to that apartment
Years ago, we were just inside
Barefoot in the kitchen
Sacred new beginnings
That became my religion, listen
Students pour out of the Great Hall and James intercepts Regulus with an arm around his waist, they shuffle over to the side but for the first time they don’t need to find a broom closet to hide in “Ew” Ursa rolls her eyes at them and walks on. Snape bumps into her and again she repeats “Ew” he opens his mouth to respond but she’s gone before he can. Snivellus glares at the pair and storms away with a swish of his robes. James shoots the greasy head an icy look as it marches away.
James loops his arm around his waist and tries to tug him close but Regulus holds his palms up at James’ wet clothes. He steps back and mandates a sweeping wind that ruffles James into dryness. His hair is somehow not messier than usual, that’s probably proof that it can’t get any worse than it usually does. He tugs him close to his dry body.
“Why the sad face?” Regulus asks his boyfriend whose pout intensifies. Regulus wants to mock him for being a baby in one breath and kiss it away in the next.
“Maybe you should stay in our room tonight, in case they try something. Or forever” he adds the last bit with a chaste kiss. Casually, like they’re just another regular, normal couple living in Hogwarts. Maybe that’s what they are now.
“I spent the entire summer in your bed” Regulus reminds him
“And I loved it, it was very lovely, we should spend the rest of our lives there”
“I thought underage engagements was something I escaped when I left home”
“Nope. Just the arranged ones” James jokes and Regulus chuckles. James smiles at him softly and rests their foreheads together “I know Snivellous told you to watch your back” he admits and Regulus steps back, away from them and the safe comfort of James
“You don’t have to worry about me, James”
“You’re all I think about. Worry’s bound to slip in there every once in a while” he says.
“You’re so cheesy” Regulus rolls his eyes but he’s smiling. He’s so very much aware of the utter nightmare his friends or siblings would give him if they heard them “Lets try and not poke the bear, at least for the first day of school, okay? We can figure things out as we go” He pulls back but keeps his arms around James “I’ll see you tomorrow” he promises with a quick peck “and if you’re good I might sneak out to give you a good morning kiss”
“What about my good night kiss?” James pouts and it’s the most adorable sight he’s ever seen. Regulus brushes their lips together, pulling him in for a slow, soft kiss, not caring if anyone watches because he can. They can. Okay, he’s cool with people seeing, those that are watching it’s a tad creepy, he won’t lie. James doesn’t seem to mind. He’s used to people watching. Of course he is, he’s meant to be worshiped
“Goodnight James”
“Goodnight Reg” Regulus turns around and James says “Garfunkle” Regulus frowns at him “it’s the Gryffindor password in case you change your mind” he winks at him with a coy grin, Regulus shakes his head with a fond smile and turns away.
You say: I don't understand, and I say: I know you don't
We thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't
Remember looking at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light
Now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time
Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?
I'm getting tired, even for a phoenix
Always rising from the ashes
Mending all her gashes
You might just have dealt the final blow
Ursa takes the stairs to the boys’ dorm, her wand held tight in an iron grip. She walks into her twin’s room, the one he shares with Evan and Barty, the place the note at dinner told her to go. She’s already turned it to ash. The door creaks shut behind her and Evan stands in front of her the way he has so many times before. This time though, he doesn’t smile, he doesn’t grunt with friendly irritation “looks like you had an interesting summer” He looks up and meets her eyes, those icy blues are clouded with sadness, she mirrors it back
“Oh, it was awful!” tears pour freely down her face
“Don’t” he tells her with a tired sigh. Her tears never fail to disarm him. She knows she’ll be able to walk away if she keeps them rolling, but he deserves to keep some weapons for himself, for this last time she’ll let him keep them.
“Fine” she rolls her eyes and wipes away the tears to reveal the real barren desert behind them. At least now she won’t ruin her makeup. She turns to the mirror and fixes the damage that’s already been done with a simple spell
“I thought we had a plan” he whispers to her back. She lowers her hand when it shakes.
She swallows the pain that grows on her shoulders, she knows exactly what that change of plans means for him, but when she speaks her voice is somehow whole and mellow “Plans change”
“Yours usually don’t. Not unless a better one comes along.” He says and she clenches her jaw, she refuses to drag him down into the dangerous whirlpool she and Regulus are in.
“I didn’t really have time to come up with one, busy being tortured and all” she smiles at him, an easy smile that’s hard for her to draw. Evan stares at her like he knows her too well to believe that, even if the sketched grin doesn’t have a line out of place. She tries a different approach, he’s no stranger to her pain. However, he is used to her irritated disapproval “I didn’t know the idiot was gonna do that, they were going to kill him,” that he seems to believe. He stares at her with understanding. She hates it “but at least now I don’t have to wait to be 17 and married to be free”
“Our kids would’ve been hella cute though” he nudges her and she smiles, a real one this time
“Hey, I’m poor now, so if you ever wanna get married, I’m down” she winks at her and he tilts his head back with laughter, she’s missed that sound. She’ll miss it again.
“If I ever wanna piss off my dad, you’re first in line” they grin at each other
“You’ll find another girl willing to marry and not sleep with you”
“Not one that I like, you’re one of a kind” he brushes the hair off her face
“You’re the only bloke I’ve ever genuinely liked”
“You’re such a flirt” he teases and then his gaze softens “I’m glad you’re alright” Evan nods and holds his arms out for her to slip into
“Thanks” she gives him a crooked smile, He hugs her tight and kisses the top of her head. She takes a deep breath and in the itching comfort of his arms does what she does best, she lies “I think I’ll even give real love a shot for once, see how it goes”
“You? In love?” he chuckles “Now that’s something I wanna see”
“I don’t think you’ll be able to.” she rips the band-aid right off. She didn’t expect it to hurt so much, it’s like swallowing glass, she keeps a bored expression traced on her face
“We can still be friends. My dad doesn’t have to know—”
“It’s not just your father. I didn’t just leave my family. I left the dark side too; and you’re part of that too” she can’t risk drawing attention to him, Voldemort might notice him, or Dumbledore. With his father’s money and his name, it’d land him right on the front lines with a permanent curse tattooed on his arm and a killing curse headed for his head.
“What? Ursa—”
“We can’t be friends anymore” She pulls away from him
“But maybe we can figure something out, we can—”
“Don’t you get it?” She rolls her eyes at him and huffs, the perfect mimic of careless “It’s not just that I can’t be your friend. It’s that now that I don’t have to, I don’t want to either” Evan blinks at her, tears dwell in his eyes. She’s only ever seen him cry once, and she held him in her arms as he did. This time though, she’s the reason behind them, and her hands don’t hold him, they twist the knife instead “stay away from me and my brother or I will write to your father” she walks away, hearing him deflate under her words like he’s been suckerpunched. He has. Normally she’d have the person pin against the wall and begging for mercy, but this time it’s her. She leaves him alone and doesn’t look back, no matter how much she wants to. No matter how much it hurts, she swallows the pain until poison tastes like air and keeps marching ahead with her head held high.
Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me
I'm the best thing at this party (you're losing me)
And I wouldn't marry me either
A pathological people pleaser
Who only wanted you to see her
And I'm fading, thinking
Do something, babe, say something (say something)
Lose something, babe, risk something (you're losing me)
Choose something, babe, I got nothing (I got nothing)
To believe, unless you're choosing me
Regulus comes into his room not long afterwards. He finds Evan sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees.
“What’s going on? Are you alright?” Regulus hesitates at the door, they haven’t spoken since last year when everything was so much different “What happened?”
“Your sister happened” he spits bitterly “We are officially no longer engaged” he finally drops his hands and looks up at Regulus “I probably shouldn’t be this upset about breaking up with someone I’m not in love with”
“I’m sorry”
“Do you mind if— I think I need to be alone right now”
“Yeah, of course” he nods on his way to the door, he stops when he reaches it “Evan, are we okay?”
“Yeah” he crooks a smile at him and something untangles itself in the pit of Regulus’ stomach
“Good” he returns the soft smile and shuts the door behind him. Barty rushes past him and goes crashing into the room, he doesn’t come back out. No matter how alone he wants to be, it never applies to Barty.
And the air is thick with loss and indecision
I know my pain is such an imposition
Now, you're running down the hallway
And you know what they all say
You don't know what you got until it's gone
Stop, you're losing me
Stop, you're losing me
Stop, you're losing me
I can't find a pulse
My heart won't start anymore
For you
'Cause you're losing me
'Cause you're losing me
Stop (stop)
'Cause you're losing me