Damocles
I'll take away the hurt
Tell me all your fears
And if you're feelin' scared, I'll be here
You don't have to be tough with me
I'll protect you from it all
I could be your safety net, if you'd let me
'Cause when you're happy, I'm home
Regulus wakes up to the taste of James' lips. A smile spreads through his face. “Good morning love”
“Morning” Regulus mumbles in return, even though it’s closer to the evening.
“I can’t believe I get to have you in my bed” he bites his lip “You’re so cute when you just wake up” James moves his hair out of his eyes and Regulus feels himself smiling “I’m gonna take a shower” He pulls away and Regulus groans at the absence of his body. He pouts at him and James bites down on his smile “Do you care to join me?” Regulus’ eyes shoot open, he stares at his devilish smile on that perfect face of his. He tosses him a pillow “Ouch! What was that for?!”
“Your parents are kind enough to take me in, we can’t push it!”
“Yes, we can” he climbs on top of him with a dashing grin
“Get off me, what if they see—?"
“See this?” he brushes their lips together and Regulus melts
“Yes!” he nudges him back, using every ounce of self-control he’s got.
“They don’t care” he traces kisses along his neck and Regulus chokes down a moan.
“James, I don’t wanna push our luck” Regulus pushes him back and James gives him that playful smirk that tangles his insides all up into a fluttery mess.
“They’re off to work” Regulus glares at him but James shuts up his protests with another kiss. They insisted on taking time off work so they could stay home, but after a conversation with Ursa they opted on going to work like nothing was amiss “so, I repeat: Do. You. Wanna. Take. A. shower. With. Me?” he asks, accentuating each word with a kiss.
“In a minute” he grabs a fistful of his pajama top and pulls him closer
“You can have all the minutes you want” James rolls him over onto the bed and pins his hands up. He deepens the kiss
“What if I want them all?” he rasps into his mouth
“Take them” He kisses him, slow and deep, they have all the time in the world.
I know I've made this call before
Not crying wolf, I'm pretty sure
There's just some things I can't erase
Paranoia slipping in
Checking all the locks again
It's so loud inside my head
“Why did you tell us to come here?” Remus, who still isn’t over last year’s incident, crosses his arms in the kitchen, already expecting this to be something idiotic, but they’d owled saying it was an emergency, so here he and Peter are.
Sirius groans and covers his ears “Use a silencing charm!” he barks at James and Regulus in James’ room above from the downstairs kitchen. He stalks out the door not bothering to check if Remus and Peter are following. Even if they aren’t, he isn’t going to wait for them. Unlike in the kitchen, his ears won’t be profaned by his little brother shagging his best friend in the garden, so that’s where he’ll be.
“Was that your brother?” Remus sniffs the air in their direction and recognizes the familiar scent he’s smelt on James plenty of times the last few months
“Regulus? What’s Regulus doing here?” Peter finds a stack of candy somewhere in the kitchen (somehow he always seems to find them) and trails after his friends “And why do you have a black eye?”
“Ursa’s elbow” Sirius rubs his eyes, reminding the painful morning jab, it still hurts, he has to wait for the Potters to get back from work so they can heal it
“Your sister’s here too?”
“That’s who you smell of?” Remus can’t help the tiny smile that slips onto his face for a second before he regains his usual stoic expression “what are they doing here?” Sirius runs a hand through that silky hair Remus dreams of and nods for them to sit. Peter opens a bag of sugared almonds, another one of gummy worms and a third one of Jelly Buttons
“That’s why I told you to come” he dares glance at Remus, praying he realizes it isn’t a con for forgiveness “there’s some things I need to tell you about”
“We’re not gonna like it, are we?” Peter already starts stuffing his face with sweets.
“No” Sirius admits and tells them everything
I mind my business but you keep pullin' me down
I warned you this won't end well
Swear that I want to
What I touch goes up in flames
I wish that I could change
Oh (oh), everybody starin' at me, oh (oh)
Since you're lookin', I'll put on a fuckin' show (show)
This is what you chose
Eventually the sun grows too hot and they move to the shade “You’ve gotta admit,” Peter says through a mouthful of food that he doesn’t bother brushing the crumbs off “it’s kind of impressing” Sirius glares at him
“Impressive that she cares about someone” he scoffs
“I’m just saying,” Peter goes on “she could’ve been a Gryffindor, it takes balls to do what she did” he opens a bag of chips “and nerves of steel”
“Well, psychopaths do have odd and brave minds” Sirius mutters
“How do we know she lied to Lord Bollocks and not to us?” Remus wonders exactly what has been troubling Sirius the entire night. Well, that and his moral stance on torturing his freshly tortured little sister, but Remus doesn’t know about that yet.
“That’s the thing, I don’t know! What if this is all a big set up and I’m too desperate for a family that I don’t see the big dangling sword over my head?” him literally torturing his sister not long after she arrived soon after being tortured. That would probably indicate he’s nowhere near desperate enough for a family as he thinks he is, he already has one.
“Maybe she isn’t lying to either one” Peter suggests, thoughtfully chewing a potato chip.
“What do you mean?” they both turn to him like the source of all wisdom
“Well, she said she did it so Regulus could be with James safely, so maybe that’s why she did it but she’s also planning on playing spy”
“Ugh,” Sirius groans into his hands and bangs his head on the table “that does sound like something her twisted, deranged, messed-up mind would come up with”
“I thought it was Bellatrix’ idea and Ursa wanted it to just be Regulus. Maybe she planned on telling him to do some spying? Or claim she didn’t know Regulus has genuine feelings for James? Say she was manipulated too? You did mention she was keen on getting your inheritance”
“I don’t know” Sirius admits “I know Regulus is in love with James, but I don’t trust him not to turn his back on us when Ursa gives him the order”
“I don’t know. Who the hell knows how your sister’s twisted mind works. To be honest, she scares me”
“And you’re the one who’s gonna have to ‘date’ her” Remus grins at him smugly. A chip drops off Peter’s hand and onto the grass. He sweeps it back up and into his mouth before the 5 seconds go by, he doesn’t make the rules.
“Why does it have to be me? Why can’t Remus do it?” he groans and buries his face inside the potato bag “What if she kills me?”
“Then we’ll throw you a lovely funeral” Sirius snatches the chips from Peter’s hands, he doesn’t know why he hates the sound of that so much but Remus dating his sister, even if fake, just feels wrong. Remus shouldn’t date his sister of all people. Actually, moony shouldn’t date anyone at all. Just like Sirius.
“If it makes you feel any better, I highly doubt she’ll murder you, Pete”
“Somehow I don’t feel reassured” he licks the crumbs off his fingers
“What about you? Do you believe her?” Sirius almost crumbles under Remus’ gaze, now so unused to it head on. He misses when it was as natural to him as breathing.
“Is she going to tell someone about me?” he doesn’t meet Sirius’ eye
“No, it’s…. uh… more useful for her if she… doesn’t. I’m sorry Moons”
“Yeah, you said that already” he says, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice, and Sirius shrinks on his spot
The front door swings open to reveal a fit-looking Ursa in a cropped graphic tee, Sirius’ broom in her hand, her silky black hair tied back into a carefully messy bun. If there’s something those recessive Black genes carry is a shiny and mesmerizing beauty. Remus gets stuck dribbling his eyes between Ursa’s soft, feminine features and Sirius’ sharp masculine ones “I forgot how hot she was,” Peter isn’t as classy and subtle as Remus, he doesn’t even bother trying to hide his blatant ogling of his best mate’s little sister. Sirius glares at him and he smiles at him in return “guess there’s no family resemblance there” he teases, Remus laughs but Sirius’ glower intensifies “Alright,” he determines after not-at-all-subtly checking out her rear “I’m okay with playing her boyfriend”
“I’m ten times more beautiful, you ugly rat, and you cannot fall in love with my sister, do you hear me? It’s already bad enough James did it with Regulus, but at least he chose the one that’s sane— mostly sane. I cannot lose another of my best friends to my siblings”
“Lose?” Moony asks with an amused smirk “Don’t you think that’s a bit dramatic?”
“Where’s James right now then?” Sirius points upstairs to where his best friend is doing unspeakable things to his baby brother.
“Fair point” Moony grants
“Plus. I’m not putting murdering a stalker past Ursa”
“Thank Godric James fell for your brother and not your sister then”
“She would’ve definitely at least mentally scarred him for life”
“You don’t have to worry about me falling for her” Pete swipes his thumb along the crumbs of the bag “unlike you and James I don’t have a kink for people who are mean to me”
“Fair point on James” Moony smiles and Sirius glares at him
“She can be very charming when she wants to. And hey! I don’t have a kink for people who are mean to me!” he crosses his arm in front of his chest
“Fine, people who call you out on your shit” he rolls his eyes as Ursa climbs onto the broom. Sirius does a double take
“URSA WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! GET DOWN!” Sirius yells at her “EUPHIE SAID YOU HAD TO BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR HEAD!”
“Awww,” she pouts at him without an ounce of sympathy “you don’t call her mummy?”
“At least if she kills herself I won’t have to do it” Peter notes and Sirius glares at him “What?” Peter shrugs at him nonchalant and Sirius kicks his shin
“IT’S NOT FUNNY!” Sirius snaps at her. She hovers upside down above him with a smug. Maybe it’s the blood rushing to her head or the altered plain of gravity but Sirius Black pretending to care about his little sister and playing at being the big brother seems hilarious to her “Get down here before you hurt yourself!” he huffs and she chuckles doing a loop with her hands locked behind her back “URSA!”
“Look at the bright side, if I die then you won’t have to worry about which side I’m on”
“You were listening?!”
“Didn’t have to, tu es très prévisible, mon frère” you’re very predictable, my brother
“I’m not predic—IS THAT MY SHIRT?!” she twirls away from him like a graceful, skilled ballerina “URSA GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW! YOU BETTER NOT HAVE CROPPED MY FAVORITE SHIRT OR I SWEAR I’LL—”
“It’s cuter this way”
“Moony gave it to me!”
“I’m sure he’ll prefer it this way too” she winks the werewolf’s way and Sirius doesn’t know why it makes his blood boil the way it does. Remus shrugs, essentially siding with her over him and the rage overflows him
“YOU LITTLE SHIT!” He takes the first thing on sight and chugs it at her head, it happens to be a chocolate frog that bounces off the way mid-air
“you’ got shit aim” that earns her another object plunged for her head. She dodges them with ease, spelling graceful, slick pirouettes in the air as she does so “can’t believe you’re a beater” Sirius runs out of things to chug and resorts to tossing his shoes at her “no wonder your team’s shit” she dodges another shoe
“At least I have a team, unlike you”
“Not the achievement you think it is” she sings, she hovers above him in the air, he’s run out of things to throw at her so he tries a chair but it doesn’t make it high enough. She’s certain if she’d ever been interested in joining the Slytherin’s Quidditch team she would’ve made it in an instant, the three of them had been flying since they were infants and their parents never cared enough to stop them from trying out dangerous feats.
“What’s going on?” James wanders out the door with lazy arms wrapped around Regulus and frowns at Sirius shoving Pete off his seat so he can throw the iron chair at his sister, the one currently recovering from being tortured the day before to the point of unconsciousness by scary psycho and then tortured mindless again by none other than himself.
“She cropped his favorite shirt” Peter suffices
“And gave me a black eye!”
“So now you’re trying to cripple her.” Regulus puts the situation into simple words and sighs. This is certainly not something he’s missed. “Great. I’m going back to bed” When he fantasized about running off into the sunset with James’ arms snaked around him, his siblings always magically got along, even though not even as little kids they’d been able to do that. He didn’t expect his fantasy to come alive, but trying to cripple each other’s a bit too far the opposite side, the one that nears his nightmares.
“I’m not trying to cripple her”
“Mate, you threw a chair at her” James grimaces from Regulus’ retrieving figure to his best friend
“Two chairs” Peter chimes, popping a jelly button on his mouth.
“Shut up Peter” Sirius hisses
“It should actually ring a bell. Doesn’t it Lupin?” she circles him like a crow “you don’t actually want to cripple me, yet you’re still throwing chairs at me, knowing fully well what it could do to me because you don’t think, you never think. Just like last year you didn’t think of the consequences, didn’t he, Lupin?” last year’s pain flares back up again, scolding his chest.
“Don’t listen to her!” James eyes blaze, Peter grabs a shoe discarded on the ground and chucks it at her head. She dodges it with a pirouette and James rages at the fact that it looked cool by throwing another shoe.
“Moons, I— that’s not—"
“Fuck. She’s good” Remus grants “I’m surprised she didn’t mention you torturing her after she was tortured for hours”
“You told them about that?”
“Pete had to know of your pla—” before his words are out of his mouth, Ursa swishes through the air with speed worthy of a professional seeker and her body projectile slams against him
“You bloody idiot!” she smacks him to the ground and they tumble down, the crash knocks the air out of his lungs.
“I trust them” Sirius argues as he struggles to shake her off and free himself off her murder attempt
“Get off him, you harpy!” James raises his wand and points it at her but Remus lowers his hand
“You’ll get expelled” he reminds him
“I don’t.” she seethes. Her sharp, claw-like nails dig into his smooth, soft, porcelain skin “Not your secret to tell” and just as fast as she was on top of him, she’s off him. She shoots to her feet with a storm in her eyes and pushes past the kitchen door. James steps on her path and stops her “Move” she warns, she’s not in the mood for James’ pathetic attempts at chivalry.
“Your murderous eyes only lessen the chances of you getting to the man I love” she swallows down bile at his corny and unnecessary love declaration. People in love are truly disgusting and make her want to projectile vomit on their repulsive, love-sick faces.
“What about now?” When her eyes fix on him again, they’re big and round, sweet and innocent as a puppy’s “Will you move now?” she bats her lashes at him and he can only blink at the complete and abrupt change in her demeanor “Honestly,” she speaks in sweet, innocent voice but there isn’t an innocent bone in her body “I’m surprised he’s the one you’re worried about and not your parents”
“What about my parents?” that snaps James out of his dazed trance, the feline smirk returns to Ursa’s lips and she bops his nose, so predictable. He knows he shouldn’t believe a word that comes out of her mouth, but still, he wavers. He moves past her and takes the stairs two at a time to his room “Reg! Regulus! Reg!”
“What happened? What’s wrong?” he bumps into him at the top of the stairs.
“My parents!” he gasps, he presses his palms to his eyes to stop the tears. He knows he’s being toyed with but his heart has a mind of its own. If you ask Ursa, that’s probably a good thing, at least some part of him has a mind, his head clearly doesn’t have one “What is she talking about?!”
“What?” he frowns from James to a smug Ursa behind him “Ursa, this isn’t funny” her grin vanishes the second James to look at her, swapped by one of horrified outrage
“I’m not the one who forgot to tell my boyfriend his parents are in mortal danger!”
“What?!” Regulus cries
“I thought you said they’d be fine”
“They could be getting mauled right this second, terrorized by blood-thirsty blood purists” her brows knit together in crafted concern and James pales
“Ursa stop it! James, we warned them and besides, she gave them a reason not to injure them, they’re gonna be alright, she’s just trying to rile you up”
“You can’t be certain, you know how impulsive Bella is. Do you hear that? The seconds are ticking by and they’re not here. Shouldn’t they be here already?”
“It’s early” James clenches his jaw and balls his fists.
“Are you sure?” she peers up at them through her lashes
“I can’t listen to her anymore” he pushes past a smirking Ursa and goes to join his friends. Regulus tries to follow him but Ursa clears her throat behind him. She holds open the door to Sirius’ room and nods inside it. Regulus sighs and goes in, he knows it’s better to just get it over with and James’ friends are downstairs, they’ll calm him down.
“I’ll be quick.” Her voice is cutting, her taunting dropped “Every person that knows the truth, is another person our lives depend on. He’s tortured people into insanity for less, a fate worse than death. Do you understand this?” begrudgingly he nods “Say you understand”
“I understand” he says like a scolded child “Ursa, I couldn’t not tell James, you don’t get it, I love him”
“I was gonna marry Evan as soon as we turned 17. He’s one of the only two people in this world that I actually like. And now he’s gonna have to marry someone who probably won’t even accept him.” Evan had come out to Regulus as asexual over a year ago, longer than that to Ursa. That was probably the reason why she’d orchestrated their engagement a few years ago, none of them would be forced to do something they didn’t want “I may not be in love with him but trust me, I get it, I know what it’s like wanting to explain. But I’m not going to risk his safety to alleviate my conscience. I won’t put a sword to dangle over his head just because I’m too selfish to bear the strain on my own. I will break my spine and crack my back before I put the people I care about in harm’s way. I wish you’d do the same, because the further the sword swings the greater the chances of it falling” she walks out of the room and stops by the door, not knowing she used the same metaphor her older brother used only moments before “and I know you lied to me about you and James’ relationship. Stop being stupid and don’t lie to me again” she stalks past him and all Regulus can do is stand there.
You know I like to take control (take control)
So I'll be leaving you out here to bleed (out here to bleed)
Drag you down with me (drag you down with me, yeah)
You'll never get away from me (away from me)
Feel me wrap around you until you scream (until you scream)
"How could you do this to me?"
Ursa browses through the library for something to occupy her mind. If she’s gonna have to stay here for the remainder of her summer, she might as well take advantage of her time and learn something. Her finger brushes through the Hindi domes with a furrowed brow, perhaps…
“One day and you already got everyone arguing. Must be a record” Peter says from the door, he leans against it and looks at her with his arms crossed “Bet you feel right at home” He isn’t worth the effort of turning around and facing him but she rolls her eyes at a purple-cover book. His pathetic attempts to get a rise out of her are amateur and childish, literally coining on childhood trauma to destabilize her. Please, she isn’t Sirius.
“Not you” Honestly, these people think they can just talk to her like she’s anyone. They belong better polishing the boots on her feet “though I guess you don’t really have anyone to argue with” maybe that will teach him, a warning if you may, to leave her alone. His insecurity of being an outcast is written plainly on his face for anyone and everyone to see—not to mention the way his huge shirt is obviously meant to hide his body— and she’ll press on it until she draws blood if he doesn’t leave her alone. Smart of him to do just that, turn on his heels and walk back the way he came from “Hey Pettigrew,” she scans the bookshelf filled with Hindi books
“Yes?” he hums in acknowledgment, shifting from one foot to the other
“Are the Potters fluent in Hindi?”
“Yeah, James’ parents are native from India, why?” but of course she doesn’t deign him with an answer and less than a minute later he takes his beady little rat eyes away from her. He makes his way back to the wreckage of Ursa’s creation. Regulus tries to calm James’ frantic worries while Remus and Sirius argue about this or that, harsher than their usual friendly bickering. He sighs and sits back with a new bag of Jelly buttons.
Tiny blades, so I'm alone
Hurt everybody 10 feet from me
I'm only safe when I'm alone
I'm not okay, but I'm okay with it
Oh (oh), everybody starin' at me, oh (oh)
Like I'm a freak but they don't even really know (know)
They don't really know