Hogwarts, 4th year, 1973, Gryffindor Tower
Lily Evans had decided that she was not one for parties. Everyone reeked of alcohol, everyone was sweaty, loud, drunk, and way too touchy for Lily’s liking. Sirius Black on the other hand loved parties. He got to be loud without annoying anyone, he got to dance, he got to sing, and most importantly he could get drunk with his friend and have a good time doing so. Admittedly, he went a tad overboard sometimes. Rather a lot overboard.
Lucky for Sirius he had amazing friends who cared about him deeply. Usually the person taking care of him at the end of the night would be one the other three marauders. More specifically Remus. See it would be James or Peter if they were both sober, but James like Sirius tended to go overboard and Peter would usually be the one cleaning up that mess. However this time around their dearest moony was in the medical wing after a long full moon the night before.
Sirius began to consider his options. There was Marlene. Nope. She held a distaste for Sirius so that was absolutely not going to happen. He could go to Mary, but she was looking quite wasted herself and he didn’t want to risk her throwing up in his hair. This left the one and only Lily Evans.
Sirius didn’t mind Lily at all. At least he didn’t now. The last three years he didn’t like her at all for breaking poor James’s heart. Until he realized that James would have a conniption if he found out Sirius didn’t particularly enjoy the girls cruel rejection tactics. Also that Lily probably didn’t mean to be cruel and was simply annoyed by James’s flirtatious ways. Much to James’s liking he and Lily actually grew closer in the time they had been at hogwarts.
So Sirius set out to find Lily Evans. Which should not have been hard at all as even half sober people stuck out like a sore thumb in a crowd of drunk gryffindors. Except Sirius was one of those drunk gryffindors who was also high and could not for the life of him get his vision to focus. Eventually he did find her.
Present time, Sirius sat in the girls' lavatories in an open stall just to the right of Lily’s. For the past fifteen minutes they had set into a bit of a routine that they were both desperate to break. Sirius would puke his guts out and Lily would hold his hair back. Then walk back to her respective stall and slouch down. All in silence. Sirius decided that if he was going to do anything it was gonna end whatever cycle they had going on. Sirius began to ponder on what to say before breaking the silence.
“Ask me a question.”, Sirius stopped hovering over the toilet. Instead letting himself rest against the wall with his knees tucked to his chest for warmth.
“Why?”,confusion leaked in her tone making Sirius feel slightly self conscious about being so vague but he continued nonetheless.
“Nevermind that Lily. Just ask me something. Anything really. I’ll answer it no matter what. Swear on my favorite out of all Remus’s jumpers.”, Lily let out a breathy laugh.
“Have you ever been in love?”
“No. I know someone who has though. He’s one of my best mates. He has it bad for this girl named Lily. You wouldn’t know her. She doesn’t give him the time of day not matter what he does.”, the smile in his voice was prominent.
“Oh my god. I do know her actually. She’s such a priss.”, one of the many good things about Lily and Sirius’s friendship is that they could joke around with each other and neither would get offended. They both felt as though they were tip toeing around active bombs when they joked with the rest of the group.
“Turns out not really.”, the smile still lingered on his face though his tone became a bit more serious.
“Is he still in love with Lily?”, the question was simple yet it brought him to a complete stop. Of course James still loved Lily. Lily owned James really. Anything she asked of him he would do in a heartbeat. James knew that. Sirius knew that. Lily knew that. So why would she ask?
“Of course. I don’t think he’ll ever stop.”
“Why not?”
Sirius paused for a moment contemplating what exactly Lily wanted to hear. It was obvious to everyone that Lily loved James. It was obvious to Sirius that Lily didn’t love James the way James loved Lily. So why did Lily just begin to ask these questions? It didn’t make sense.
“I think it’s cause Lily is what he thinks is best for him. It's mental. Ever since we met Peter he’s been telling James that he’s gotta find his Julie.”
“Wait, who's Julie?”
“It’s some muggle girl they’ve been friends with forever. I guess it's his girlfriend. Don’t tell him I told you this but he’s completely mad for her. Won’t shut up about her most of the time. But that's not really the point. The point is this girl, you know, the one that my friend likes, is somebody that James had made his number one priority since day one here. And I don’t even know why. I don't think he does either. Maybe because of how effortlessly smart and beautiful she is, or because she's the only one who doesn’t give him a second glance. Which is stupid. I mean the first one is a valid reason. Do not get me wrong. There is nobody like Lily. Because when I think about it he should just let her come to him if she wants to, but he doesn’t because that's not the way he works. I get it though. I mean first of all she's hilarious. She's so funny. I feel like this year I have laughed harder than I have laughed in a really long time. And like I said she's smart. Way smarter than him. Hell she's way smarter than me. You know she can pass every class she takes without even studying. You know? She's honestly like anyone I’ve ever even met before.”
Lily slowly took in everything Sirius just said to her. Lily wasn’t alone; she had wonderful friends including Sirius who was only about 7 feet away from her now, and yet Lily couldn't help the feeling that she was falling alone. Drowning. She felt guilty. For letting James chase her even though she knew nothing would ever come out of it. Lily's stomach began to churn and her head began to pound. She suddenly felt much worse for Sirius when he was vomiting earlier than she did then. Lily didn’t want to be alone anymore; she wanted to scream from the top of every rooftop in the world how she felt, but she knew the repercussions of doing so. She never understood why everyone in the world seemed to be against what she was. Who she was. And Lily always thought that's what made it hurt even worse.
“Lily?”, Sirius lightly tapped on the wall between them a few times, “Lily, did you fall asleep on me in there?”
“No. I am still alive.”, Lily sighed deeply. She closed her eyes tight to avoid the situation just a minute longer, but god or merlin or whatever the hell was up there liked laughing at Lily. Sirius slid under the stall door. Lily cringed thinking about how many people had probably thrown up in the bathrooms that night.
“The floor’s disgusting, Sirius.”
“Yeah well I already got a bunch of fire whisky and puke on my shirt, so…what do you think?”
“About?”, she knew what about.
“This girl, Lily, and my friend.”
“She sounds awesome.”
“She is awesome.”, he retorts, “And what about the guy?”
“I think he’s young ,and he thinks he's in love so he's not thinking straight.”
“Really? Cause I think being young and in love makes you think a lot more straight than usual.”
“He’s not. Look, he doesn't even know this girl. And if he did know her? Like– like really know her. I don’t think he’d even wanna be her friend.”
“No, that's not true. No way is that true.”
“Listen to me, Sirius. It’s shocked me to my core that I like you and James, but i’m not like your other friends. And I’m not like Juile.”
“Lily, that's exactly why he likes you. That's exactly why both of us like you.”
“Do you remember what I said about Slughorn’s class? About me being jealous, and, like, obsessed with you?”
“Yeah. And don’t tell me you have a crush on my Lily because that would shatter James’s heart.”
“It isn’t because I had a crush on you, Sirius. It’s because she wouldn’t stop staring at you.”
“Slughorn?” ,Lily was definitely gonna make fun of him for that later.
“Mary Macdonald. I wanted her to look at me, but she couldn’t pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair. And I didn’t understand because you would get tart crumbs all over the floor. And you asked dumb questions. And you were a douchebag. And– And you didn’t even like her. And I would go home and just scream into my pillow.”
“But Mary Macdonald is a girl.”
“Sirius.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh.”
“Oh.”, she mocked back. She wasn’t quite sure if it was a time to joke, but if anyone made jokes at the wrong time it was Sirius Black. So it was her turn now.
“Holy shit.”
Realization.
“Yeah. Holy shit.”
“Sirius? Did you fall asleep on me over there?”
“No, I just, uhh– Just thinking.”
“Okay.”
“I mean, yeah. Mary Macdonald, you know she’s cute and all, but– I mean she’s a total dud.”
“She is not. She is still my best friend and I am telling her you said that, Sirius.”
“Yes, she is. She wants to be, like, a singer. She wants to move to, like, muggle London and shit.”
“Sirius, She has dreams.”
“She can’t even hold a tune, Lily. I mean, she’s practically tone deaf. Have you heard her? All the time. ‘There's a starman waiting in the sky. He’s like to come and meet us–’”
“She does not sound like that.”
“She sounds exactly like that, Evans. That's a great impersonation of her.”
“She does not sound like that, Black. You sound like Delores.”
“She sounds like Delores. She sounds like Delores giving birth.”
Lily felt relief that her and Sirius were still joking. That he didn’t mind she was queer. Most people would probably get up and leave the moment she told him one of her biggest secrets. But most people aren’t Sirius Black. Their laughing fit was put to a quick halt when Peter burst in with an extremely drunk James clinging to him and a piece of parchment in his hand.
“Okay. What the hell?”, Peters sudden outburst sent Sirius and Lily into another fit of laughter.
Lily finally didn’t feel so alone. She didn’t feel so alone anymore. She didn’t expect it at all but Sirius came to her rescue. Like she was sure he would do for so many people after. She wasn’t drowning anymore because Sirius pulled her from the icy waters. And she would never be more grateful. Lily was starting to feel like she liked parties.