Chapter 1
A year after the war and they were still hiding from everyone, like they were ghosts from a worse life. The only one that knew their existance was Sevika, which was a good exception to the golden rule as she could provide things from either Zaun or Piltover for free thanks of her new role as a Councilor, which made her good money.
Isha grew a little bit, enough for her old clothes to be tight on her legs or torso. Auntie — like she loved to say — brought her new clothes... But she would take Jinx's scissor and cut them down so much that, in Sev's work, "she seems like a Babette's whore".
Obviously Jinx didn't care at all. She was her maternal slash big sister figure but, as Silco did, she would not chastise her significant younger one just because she wanted to experiment with things. However, she did try to push her into living by herself on her own private room.
They were living in an penthouse that was owned by Sevika through a series of overseas company, a mixture of shady practices that she learnt both from Silco and from the others Councilors. She did everything in her power to make sure no one from Zaun nor Piltover could pinpoint that house as hers.
It was pretty simple, but big by Jinx standards. She couldn't also make that much noise and even if her bratty side wanted to, she knew it was a terrible, terrible idea to do so. Instead, she moved her interest into electronics and more so microelectronics — something that was new and expensive, but thanks to Auntie Sev (and more specifically, Isha's dog eyes), she got a lot of parts for new projects.
The house had two bedrooms. When Isha was little and the war was over, the selective mute choose to sleep with Jinx as she loved to hug her and to fall asleep hearing her snores. As the other room was filled with their projects (as Isha started working on stuff too), after the first year, Jinx began sleeping on the sofa.
"Go to your bed, Isha, we shouldn't be sleeping together", explain Jinx half-sleep the third night that she didn't went to her room. And even when the little one tried shaking Jinx, she just groaned and turned to the other side.
Isha felt a bit betrayed by that. Nothing that a good breakfast couldn't fix every morning, and also Jinx's kisses on her cheek would make her forget that the previous night nobody slept with her, but night came again, and again she felt... Alone.
She tried explaining to Jinx that they could share a room, but Jinx just shushed her. "Big girls like you need privacy, Isha. You are almost 15, can't sleep with mama forever". Isha frowned every time Jinx said that.
While a child being careless is harmless fun, a growing adolescent being bratty and barely wearing clothes was... Not. It all started with comments from Auntie, but little by little, Jinx seemed to try and push Isha from her side. Not sleeping in her room was the first of them, and then the comments started appearing. "Maybe you shouldn't cut the clothes that much", or "wear some of my clothes, Auntie is going to pull up today". Isha frowned every time, throwing a quick 'fuck you' finger at Jinx that, in other days, Jinx would laugh and throw it back at her. Not in those moments though, she would just sigh and Isha would be hurt once more.
"Why can't I express myself?" asked the little one to Jinx with a sweet, barely hearable voice while she was preparing the bathtub with hot water. The blue-haired girl froze, and turned around to look at her. "When did I stopped you from expressing yourself?" she asked.
Isha frowned again. 'Don't cut your clothes too much. Put some underwear. Go get other clothes today' she signed back again, and Jinx rolled her eyes.
"You can't just be showing your body like that, and you know it. Before, you were too much of a child to understand, but I gave you books to read about it and you should know-" Jinx started speaking looking back at the water, a thing that Isha hated when they were talking together and Jinx would look anyone else as a way to silence the younger one. It was rare Jinx did it unknowingly and Isha didn't care that much, but that time, she was mad.
"I don't care!" Isha spoke again with her soft voice but clearly mad and making her throat hurt, as she wasn't used to speaking at all. Jinx looked back at Isha, getting that it was such an important topic for her to even talk like that. "I trust you! Only you see me like this! I want to dress like this!" she stated with such raw passion, that she began crying a little bit.
"But Isha... You shouldn't..." Jinx tried explaining to the little one that it was innapropiate, that even as her caretaker she shouldn't look at her like that... Hiding the true reason why of those comments.
As Isha felt that Jinx was minimizing what she was saying, she shouted (in such a soft and cute voice) "I hate you!" before running towards her bedroom while crying and closing the door with rage, shaking the walls in the house.
Jinx, on the other hand, felt a tightening in her throat, remembering how she behaved like that when she was young and nobody could understand her. She almost wanted to barge inside the room and go hug her, but she didn't, she couldn't go. Her mind began racing with thoughts about moving out, telling Sevika to handle her and moving her into foster care, and for her to move out of Zaun once and for all.
The real reason about all of those comments and why she began to separate from her was simple. She was falling from her, and those evil thoughts was making her feel so guilty like anything in her life had done. She didn't hear voice, nor she cared if she did. That was her own consciousness telling her how much of a monster she was for loving Isha in the weird ways that she did.
She only moved to close the bathroom door, get nude, and get inside of the bathtub. The thoughts calling her disgusting never left, but at least she was now embraced by the hot water. Only when she was there and could close her eyes, she remembered Isha's last words and began silently crying.