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“I waited for you on the train, how come you didn’t show?” his voice just above a whisper, but Sirius still held a nameless expression.

Regulus shook his head, walking backward, away from Sirius. 

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Why didn’t he show? Why did he leave? Regulus looked up at Sirius with pain in his eyes, not wanting to waste his energy trying to explain himself. How did none of his friends notice Sirius leave after him, no one not even himself could say anything to make him go away. Did he want him to go away? 

Regulus couldn’t handle it, he wanted to disappear. Unable to hear the sentences coming from Sirius, he couldn’t pay attention, he didn’t want to pay attention. Sirius doesn’t deserve it, it’s his fault. Soon enough Barty rounded the corner and shouted at them, Sirius being quick to start an argument. 

“Get out of here Crouch , this doesn’t concern you.” lacing his name with venom, Sirius never did like Barty. No matter how many times Regulus talked so graciously about him. Hypocrite. Sirius is oblivious to the fact that he said the same gracious things about James. 

“It doesn’t concern me? Are you mental? This is your fucking fault, don’t even bother trying to play victim here.” Barty was angry, he spent all his time waiting for the moment he could finally go off on the older Black, he was a bomb waiting to lit and Sirius held the flame. 

Sirius flinched slightly at the last few words, unnoticeable to the naked eye but Regulus saw. Barty wrapped a protective arm around him and continued to yell at Sirius, throwing venomous darts until he was weak. Regulus wasn’t paying any attention to Barty but he was paying attention to the way his words affected Sirius. 

“Why don’t you fuck off, go annoy someone else.”

“This isn’t over, this will never be over. Let me talk to my brother you prick.” Sirius took a step forward, trying to get close to Regulus.

“Brother? I think we all know you lost that privilege when you decided to leave him to –” Regulus managed to grab Barty’s attention before letting him finish talking, not wanting him to finish that sentence. 

Barty’s gaze softened instantly and it annoyed both Black brothers. Although he was Regulus’ best mate, Barty wasn’t the best at figuring out where the boundary line stood. He would go on and on until someone told him to stop, at least he was respectful when it came to that. 

Sirius knew what Barty wanted to say, and all it did was add to the fire. When he saw his brother pull his friend away Sirius knew he had to let it go, for now. After sending yet another deadly glare at Barty, he gives Regulus a sad smile before walking away. 

Regulus turns his head away from the two, facing the wall as Sirius walks away. Barty tries to talk again but Regulus gives him a please shut up expression. With that the boys skip the rest of dinner and head back to their dorm room. 

Ignoring everyone in the common room, Regulus does everything to stay out of Barty’s grip and enters their shared room. Immediately going to his bed and shutting the curtains, charming a lock on them. Barty walks into the room shortly after and sighs after he realises Regulus locked himself away. 

“What happened?” Evan was sat on of the desk chairs with an open textbook on his lap, folding spare parchment into paper doves and letting them fly around the room. One crashed into Barty’s face when he walked in.

“Oh sorry about that.”

~~~

It was quiet when Regulus woke up, he could hear the silent waves from the black lake outside the shared windows. For a few minutes he just laid there staring at the ceiling, he still couldn’t hear anything outside the curtains. Curiosity got the best of him and Regulus leaned over slightly to take a peek into the room. It was empty. 

He pulled the curtain open all the way and reached for the clock on his nightstand. It was too early for breakfast, yet, both his roommates were gone. Regulus enjoyed the silence for less than a minute before Evan rushed through the doorway, still in his pajamas. Evan said nothing when he sat down beside Regulus, he just took deep breaths as he stared at the floor. 

Regulus was beyond confused, where had he been? Where’s Barty? Why were they gone at five in the morning? Why was he even awake at five in the morning? He didn’t ask any of these. Regulus rubbed his tired eyes and looked at Evan expectantly. A minute or two passed before they made eye contact. 

“What?” 

What ? Really? It was too early for this. Regulus reached over Evan and picked up the notebook that sat on his bedside table. 

it’s five am

“Yeah, so?”

Regulus rolled his eyes, Evan never woke up early. Barty did occasionally but typically they stayed in the room until breakfast. 

why are you up

where’s barty

“I actually don’t know, I woke up to use the loo and Barty was already gone when I got up.”

we have a bathroom in our dorm 

“I know that, after I went to the common room to look for him. Couldn’t find him so I came back, but I saw Ol’ Sluggy in the hall which is why I rushed back in.”

It still didn’t make sense. It was the weekend, no one was up this early on weekends. Still tired, Regulus decided to just let it go. Wanting to go back to sleep but once he’s up there’s no use. 

are you going back to bed

Evan nodded and laid down on Regulus’ bed, Regulus raised his eyebrow at him and hit him lightly with the notebook in hand. Evan made no effort to get up so he just left him there. He grabbed a dark gray sweater that was hanging off the chair and pulled it over his sleepshirt, then opened his trunk and picked out a pair of black trousers. 

Regulus finished getting ready in the bathroom and after attempting to tame his curls over and over he gave up and just tucked his hair behind his ears. It was too long, he needed a trim. 

He grabbed his notebook again and nicked a pen from Evans desk, not wanting to bother with a quill today. By the time he made his way to the main entrance, it was ten minutes til breakfast, Regulus sat on an empty bench around the corner from the dining hall and doodled on pages with very little words. Humming a quiet tune to himself, assuming no one was around. 

It was a very cloudy morning, Regulus noticed the sun peeking through dark clouds. He hopes it’ll rain today. Soon footsteps could be heard, walking just a few feet away from where Regulus was sitting. What is up with people and this hallway when he was all alone?

“Thanks for joining me out on the pitch today Gid, Sirius scratched my arm when I tried to get him up.”

Ignoring what “Gid” had to say, a chill went down his spine at the mention of his brother. Scratching seemed reasonable, he remembers trying to wake up Sirius when they were kids and he stuck his foot out and tripped Regulus. That day he had his first nosebleed. Another time Sirius took all his pillows and started throwing them at Reg, it ended with feathers all over the room and careless bruises from a pillow fight. Kreacher covered for them saying the family owl got into Sirius’ room while delivering the post. 

The footsteps got louder and walked right past Regulus, not even noticing him. He was very grateful for that. Regulus watched as the two boys made their way into the dining hall, one with a dark caramel skin tone and black hair, the other pale and freckly with ginger hair. It was James Potter and one of the Prewett twins, Gid, he picked that up from Potter’s previous sentence.

Regulus didn’t actually know their names, they constantly pretended to be one another and he gave up. It wasn’t that important to him anyway. That’s a lie, second year one of them went up to Regulus and handed him a sugar quill. It was a week before halloween and candy was being handed out left and right, but the thirteen year old ginger went out of his way to cross the courtyard to hand twelve year old Regulus a lolly. He had a crush on him that lasted into spring, since he payed more attention to them. He does know the difference. Gideon had a wider smile and more freckles on his left cheek whereas Fabian’s hair was more out of control and neater eyebrows. 

He never told anyone, never wrote it. It was a bit embarrassing, having a crush on the same gender. That was until one of the sixth year ravenclaw girls kissed a seventh year hufflepuff at the end of a quidditch match. More people were open about their relationships since then but Regulus still kept the secret to himself. 

He folded up his notebook, using the pen as a placeholder. Regulus walked slowly to breakfast, holding the door open for two first years.