Little Moons
October 26th, 1999 - Tuesday Early Afternoon
Luna is alone when she reads her letter, the black parchment unspooling like smoke in her hands.
She’s often alone, now. Her flat is small but functional, and she particularly enjoys the skylight situated above her bed, giving her a glimpse up into the night sky even on the darkest of days.
It’s where she sits, now. She’s curled in her bed, cushions piled around her. The owl that had delivered the letter had disappeared as quickly as it had come, despite Luna offering treats.
She knows why, of course. Birds are particularly sensitive individuals, and they can feel the weight of whatever is in their talons. Paper, although light, can carry the heaviest of burdens.
‘Luna Pandora Lovegood
has been found a favourable match with
Theodore Matthias Nott.
Congratulations.’
Luna lets the letter slip from her fingertips, watching as it floats gently to the rough wooden floors.
There is a choice to be made.
She remembers Nott Senior. Remembers his dark eyes and darker temper, and the way he never pulled his punches, not even on underage Hogwarts witches. She remembers Ollivander shielding her from his wrath, wandless and terrified, yet unbending in the face of what was right.
Luna knows monsters. She knows real and imaginary, deadly and whimsical, and she has never met a monster as dangerous as a human being.
The name on her letter is terrifying. N-O-T-T.
“Theodore,” Luna hums quietly. It’s a lovely name.
She remembers Theodore, too. Quiet and sullen, dressed in Slytherin robes and a sadness that not even Hogwarts could banish from him.
He’d never truly spoken to her, not in all their years of school together. However, she had trod on his shiny new shoes once during Herbology, and he had said “excuse me” before moving away.
His father would never have said excuse me; not to a witch with dirt on her nose and no sacred twenty-eight blood in her veins.
Luna stretches her legs out in front of her and stares at her sky-blue toes. She’d charmed them so a small painted bird would fly from one toenail to another, and she watched its slow movement. It seems to mock her as it flies away only to end up back where it started.
She knows what it means to be trapped.
She had begged and waited and wished and dreamed of freedom. She can see exactly what the WPG is meant to do. Unlike so many other witches who also received letters today, however, Luna is not trapped.
Her father is well hidden and out of the country, managing The Quibbler from afar. He’s been asking her to join him for ages, and Luna has been putting him off, determined to remain in London. It would be easy enough to disappear; let the WPG roll off her shoulders and find peace in another place, far from every lingering nightmare Wizarding Britain held.
She won’t, though.
She can’t.
“Fine,” she huffs, rolling herself out of bed. “Fine.”
Her writing desk sits under the sunniest window in her small flat, and Luna paces a few times before she forces herself to sit down on the chair. She knows she should write to Theo and break the ice; perhaps ask him round for tea.
Luna laughs at the image. The last time she had seen Theodore Nott in person had been in the seventh year — a year she dreads to even remember. He had forced himself nearly into invisibility, avoiding the Carrows with just as much effort as the Gryffindors had.
“He hated it,” Luna reminds herself. “Hated it just as much as we did.”
She reaches for a quill with trembling fingers, intent on using her favourite parchment. It’s pearlescent white, with the slightest silver sheen. Far more friendly than the black parchment the Ministry had chosen.
She knocks the ink over before she can pen a single word.
“Not to be,” Luna mutters, cleaning up her mess. “This is foolish.”
She marches back to her bedroom, throwing on her favourite outfit. She’s never been to the Nott Property, but it’s not difficult to look up addresses at the Ministry, as long as he doesn’t have a Fidelius.
What good is ink and parchment in the face of blood and bone?
She disapparates.
The outside of Nott Manor is stunning. Despite the fall air, the grounds remain green and fragrant, and Luna stands at the front gate breathing it all in. She taps her wand gently on the iron and waits.
It doesn’t take long. The gate opens slowly and silently, showing a bricked entrance path hedged with roses. Luna brushes her fingers over the petals as she walks, imagining she’s entering a garden instead of a dark pureblood Manor.
The door is imposing and tall, and she raps her knuckles against it painfully. Unlike the gate, the door doesn’t silently and magically open; instead, it waits for its master.
When it does open, Theodore Nott is standing in the entrance, grim-faced and pale. For a moment, her blood runs cold. He’s nearly the spitting image of Nott Senior, and it takes her a few heartbeats before she can catalogue the differences.
He’s taller, though he slouches to make himself smaller. His hair is shorter and curlier. He’s got green eyes, so different from his father’s. And his eyes — they don’t hate her. Instead, they are filled with the same intense dread he had once watched the Carrows with.
Luna starts to breathe again, because Theo is not the same as his father.
He takes one hesitant step towards her, eyes searing and searching and burning with questions.
Luna doesn’t bother waiting for whatever trivial hello he would grace her with — like usual, curiosity has won out, and she opens her mouth without thinking. “You should have been in Ravenclaw with me. It’s easy to tell — how did the hat miss it?”
All the typical expressions flick over Theodore. Initial surprise, dread, anger, disbelief. Luna waits for him to cut her down, call her loony.
“It didn’t,” Theodore says, instead.
Luna can feel a smile threatening. She likes honesty. She steps towards him, towards the entrance to the Manor. Despite the immaculate furnishings she can see from the doorway, an oppressive darkness seems to hang over her.
“Would you… like to take a walk through the gardens?” Theo asks suddenly. “We could… talk?”
Luna likes gardens. She likes anything under the open sky, free and fresh and alive. She digs her hand into her pocket and pulls out her glasses, propping them up on her nose. Theo watches her in confusion and Luna grins at him.
“They’re for Nargles. They like gardens.” Luna explains. Theo nods as if that’s a perfectly reasonable response — because it is — and shuts the door behind himself.
They fall in side by side, and Luna watches as Theo opens and closes his mouth a few times as if searching for a point of conversation.
She hates small talk.
“The last time I saw you was in Hogwarts,” Luna says quickly. “My favourite subject was Care of Magical Creatures. Yours was potions, I know.”
Theo gapes, “How do you know?”
Luna shrugs. “You were good at it.”
“I liked Creatures, too,” Theo says quietly.
Luna knows what it means that he’s admitted that. None of the Slytherins liked Creatures, on account of Hagrid teaching the class. He would have been a pariah with that opinion.
“A well-kept secret,” Luna whispers.
Theo huffs a laugh. Luna turns to him in surprise. She’s never heard him laugh before, not even as far back as she can remember.
“It was,” Theo says. “Most of my friends didn’t enjoy Hagrid’s classes. But I like creatures.”
This time, Luna graces him with a true smile. She likes creatures, too. Even the scarier ones. There are no surprises with animals — they might bite you, but they never lie to you beforehand.
It bodes well that Theodore sees that, too.
“Do you have any?”
Theo frowns. “No. Just the old family owl, Caldwell. He’s a good owl, but he’s always remained at the Manor. I never had a school companion.”
“Me neither,” Luna admits. “I always wanted one.”
“Why don’t you have one now?” Theo asks. “It seems like something you’d enjoy.”
He’s staring out at the sprawling Manor grounds, but he’s obviously still listening for his answer. Luna finds she’s inclined to give it. She slips her hand into the crook of his elbow, ignoring his flinch at her touch. He relaxes slowly, and they keep walking.
“I think I’m just waiting for the right one, maybe,” Luna says quietly. “One that needs me as much as I need it.”
Theo slows, and Luna glances up at him. He’s watching her carefully, and Luna centers herself on the green eyes, filled with curiosity and hope and fear. Not an ounce of hatred.
“Sounds like it would be a lucky companion.” Theo murmurs, and Luna can feel warmth suffusing her cheeks. She glances away, finding a shimmering pond in the distance. Swans float along the surface, and it’s about as picturesque as one could imagine.
“It was my mother’s influence,” Theo says suddenly, and Luna turns to find him watching her. “She insisted on the gardens and the pond. She loved flowers.”
“Where is she now?”
Theo frowns. “She died. A long time ago.”
“I’m sorry,” Luna whispers, pressing closer for a moment. “My mother died when I was young, too.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
They stare at each other, and Luna debates on telling him about the war. Telling him all of the things that still hang over her. Her fears and triumphs and pains.
“My father gave her the swans as a wedding present,” Theo says suddenly, gesturing towards the ponds. Luna stares at the swans floating across the water. She can’t imagine Nott Senior giving a gift to anyone. Luna wonders if she’s supposed to compliment them — she can’t bring herself to do it, though. She’s not in the business of lying to make people feel comfortable.
“As I got older I always thought it was rather ironic.” Theo continues. “They’re pretty enough, to be sure, but they’re mean. They chase you and pollute the water and destroy shrubs. My mother hated them. When I was really young I just thought my father was a terrible gift-giver, but after she died I started to think that maybe he just couldn’t let her have one truly nice thing for herself.”
Luna watches as Theo shakes his head slightly, as if he’s just realized what he’s said. The swans are still gliding away, and the setting sun splashes colours across the water and Theo’s face. He glances down at her warily, body tense, waiting for her condemnation or laughter.
“She had you,” Luna says, instead.
She watches as a blush creeps across Theodore Nott’s face, and Luna knows — she knows — that he is something unexpected.
Something worth staying for.
Her flat is cold when she returns home. Luna curls up in her bed, under all of her blankets and stares out at the skylight. The stars are obscured by clouds, and she feels so insignificant in the muted darkness.
Luna is exhausted. Tired of coming home to a flat that means nothing to her. Tired of emptiness and loneliness and a constant state of no place is home.
She thinks about a boy who hates his father. Thinks about how he hates the swans that his father used to torment his mother, and yet still lets them stay on the pond they’ve lived on their whole life.
Thinks about the way he had flinched when she had curled fingers into his arm; not disgusted, just terrified. As if no one had bothered to touch him gently for as long as he could remember.
Thinks about the way he had walked her back to the gate as dusk descended, promising to write. Thinks about how when she had nothing left to look forward to, she had dreamed of someone who would look at her as though they’d never seen anything like her before. Someone warm, someone kind.
The clouds move, just enough that a sliver of light cascades through her skylight, cutting through the darkness.
Luna Nott.
The moon and the night.
Luna sighs, and curls herself into a ball.
She’s going to marry Theodore Nott.
Luna travels to Muggle London the next day, finding the payphone she always uses to make these phone calls. She slides the coins through the slot and dials the numbers, the ringing sound both foreign and comforting in her ear.
“Hello, darling,” Her father’s voice is warm and familiar.
“Hi daddy,” Luna says. “How are you?”
“I’d be better if you were here, of course. But I’m wonderful, my moon. I’ve been off searching for Skrillpups, and I think we’re closing in on a nest. Will be publishing it in the next edition!”
“I can’t wait to read it,” Luna says. She wonders what her father knows — if he’s heard about the WPG and the matches, or if he’s living in ignorance. She doesn’t want to be the one to tell him.
“So tell me what you’ve been up to?” Her father’s voice is warm, and Luna basks in the memories it evokes. How she misses him.
Luna clears her throat. “Daddy, I’ve met someone.”
Xenophilius is silent for a long moment, but Luna is patient. She has more coins if she needs them, and nowhere to be. “That’s wonderful. Is he kind?”
“I think so,” Luna admits quietly. “How did you know you wanted to marry mum?”
Her father’s voice is slow in coming, but warm and rich, and as he speaks Luna can almost feel her mother surrounding her. Their home had been filled with such warmth before she died, and Luna misses it desperately.
“I don’t think there was ever a time where I didn’t want to marry her. She was… the most interesting and kind person I’ve ever known her. The first time she smiled at me I thought I could see an entire lifetime in it. You’re so like her, little moon.”
Luna blinks back tears. “Am I really?”
“Of course you are. You are goodness and joy and the brightest spark in my whole life. And while I don’t believe anyone could ever truly deserve you, Luna, if you tell me this person is the right one, I’ll believe you.”
Luna swallows hard until her voice doesn’t feel wobbly in her throat anymore. “Thanks, daddy. It feels like maybe it’s right.”
“You will know if it’s right. And if it isn’t right, Luna, you can always come to me. You know how to find me.”
“I know, daddy,” Luna whispers. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, dearest.”
She hangs up the phone with her father’s goodbyes in her ears. She could go to him — Xenophilius had been abundantly clear when he had first left Wizarding England that Luna should accompany him, but she had stayed stubborn. Stayed home.
Maybe now she knows why.
She reappears at Theodore’s door a few days later, a slightly bedraggled fern plant in her hand. At her knock, a small house elf opens the door and stares at her with wide eyes.
“Oh! Hello,” Luna says. “I’m Luna Lovegood. What’s your name?”
The house elf bows low, “Hello Lady Lovegood. You can call me Thelma. How can Thelma help you?”
Luna giggles at the formal little elf. “I’m just here to see Theodore.”
Thelma snaps up straight and nods briskly. “I’ll return quickly, my lady.” She shuts the door gently, and Luna waits patiently.
“Miss Lovegood,” Theo greets when he opens the large door, “what a pleasant surprise. Would you like to come in?”
Luna hands him the small plant she has brought, “Yes, thank you. I brought you this fern.”
“Fern?” Theo takes it from her fingers gently, stepping back to let her into the room. “I’ve never heard of a fern.”
Luna nods, she had expected that. She steps past him into the foyer, surveying each corner. While sunlight spills through the window in the large room, it feels oppressive and dark, as though too many unhappy memories were made under its roof.
“Oh yes, I expect you haven’t. It’s a muggle plant, actually.” Luna answers mindlessly, trailing her fingers across the wooden panelling.
“Is it… safe?”
She turns to him, laughter bubbling out of her. Theo looks a mixture of confused and frightened, and it’s quite endearing. “It’s perfectly safe, Theodore Nott. And I told you before you may call me Luna.”
“…Luna,” Theo says slowly, the sound of her name rolling off of his tongue bringing a blush to her cheeks. “What are… I mean… well, I like your dress.”
He’s lying. It’s obvious in the way his eyes are scanning around the room, taking in the glittering sunlight off of her mirror dress, a frown threatening at the sight of them.
It’s one of her favourite outfits, but Luna had known when she had purposefully put it on that morning that most people didn’t find it quite as lovely as she did. She had wanted to see his reaction — see if he would balk at marrying her, loony lovegood.
He hadn’t yet. Had lied, instead. Lied to make her feel better.
She grins, “Don’t lie, Theo. You think my dress is silly.”
Theodore watches her, his reply slow in coming. Luna is patient.
“Okay, I won’t,” Theo says finally. He swallows hard before continuing, “You do look lovely, though.”
She bites her lip, glancing away. Theodore Nott is apparently full of surprises. She turns around, taking in the expansive doorways, and the entrance to a long hallway. Luna steps toward it, trailing her fingers along the walls. Everywhere she steps, tiny spots of lights dance around her — the best part of this dress.
Theo doesn’t stop her. He asks more about the fern and follows her anxiously, but Luna moves slowly and sees how far he’ll let her go. The house that had felt oppressive and dark upon the first inspection feels warmer, somehow. Luna follows the warmth all the way to a large door and rests her fingertips on the outside.
“This,” She says quietly. “This is where you should put the fern.”
Theo nods, “Okay. It’s my study. I spend a lot of time here.”
Luna laughs, because of course it’s where he spends his time. She turns back and finds him watching her with amusement. He reaches in front of her to open the door, and Luna steps into a large study. There’s a huge desk in front of a wall of bookshelves and a window to her left. Sunlight spills in here, too, and Luna decides it’s also her favourite room.
Theo steps past her to set the fern down on the windowsill, adjusting it slightly to take advantage of the sunlight. Luna can almost feel the bedraggled plant's relief at the gentle treatment.
She sits on the leather armchair in front of the desk, sinking into the cushions. It’s warm and comfortable, and it doesn’t match the decor quite as exactly as everything else. Luna wonders briefly if Theo had brought it in here after the war. Something soft.
“Thelma,” Theo calls suddenly. The little house elf’s appearance is instantaneous.
“Hello, Master Nott,” Thelma says, turning to curtsy at Luna. “Lady Lovegood.”
Luna smiles at the little creature, “Hello, Thelma. How are you?”
Thelma glances at her master for permission to answer, and Luna watches as Theo winces slightly at the motion. How curious.
“Thelma is very good, Lady Lovegood,” Thelma answers, “She hopes you are well, too.”
Luna smiles broadly, “I am, thank you. Theo is letting me stay for a bit and visit.”
Thelma’s answering grin is crooked, and Luna thinks she would marry Theodore Nott just to have such a dear house-elf around. She looks up at Theo to find him frowning at her.
“Master Nott, shall I bring up some tea?” Thelma asks.
“Tea would be great,” Theo replies quickly, “Luna?”
Luna nods, and when Thelma disappears, she glances back at Theo. He’s no longer frowning at her, but she can tell he’s disappointed, all the same. The silence between them is suddenly endless, and Luna waits for an answer.
Her patience is rewarded when Theo clears his throat.
“Luna, you can stay as long as you want. And you are allowed to come here whenever you want. Even if I’m not here. The Manor… Thelma will let you in.” Theo says, finally.
“Is this because the Ministry is forcing you to marry me?” Luna asks. Curiosity used to be such a joy for her, but now she’s tired of questioning everything.
Theo flushes red, half babbling. “No, it’s… I mean —I wouldn’t say…”
Luna can’t stop herself from laughing at his reaction, and Theo cuts off his words quickly. This time, when she meets his gaze he looks almost fond.
“The Ministry is forcing you to marry me, Theodore Nott,” Luna reminds him, “even if you’ve realized I might not be so terrible to marry.”
Theo stares at her as if he has no idea what to do with her. It’s an expression she’s familiar with, and Luna doesn’t mind. The silence, however, eats at her. She wonders if she’s been mistaken — if Theodore Nott isn’t waiting for someone the same way she is.
Or worse, perhaps. If she’s not the someone he’s waiting for.
“I mean,” Luna murmurs, “perhaps I’m not… people don’t always like — ”
“No!” Theo snaps, and Luna blinks at his anger. He swallows hard, and she waits for him to continue. “You’re fine. You’re good.” He sighs, “It’s not… well — the Ministry is forcing you to marry me, too, you know.”
Luna scowls. She hates the Ministry with the same fervour as everyone else her age, but Theo is mistaken if he thinks she’s a witch that can be manipulated. “The Ministry has no hold over me.”
“Oh, so you’re tying yourself to a Death Eater for fun, then?”
Luna sees the very moment Theo regrets his words. She’s glad he’s said them, though. Glad at least that they can get this part over with.
“You’re no Death Eater,” Luna murmurs quietly. It feels loud in the room.
Theo reaches for his sleeve as if to rip it backwards. Luna already knows what lies in wait under the fabric, so she moves in front of him, resting her fingers on his forearm, exactly over where the dark mark should be.
He’s so very warm, under her fingers.
“Stop,” Luna says, keeping her voice as gentle as she possibly can. “I know what you want to show me, Theodore Nott, and it’s nothing I haven’t seen before. I have known Death Eaters. I have watched them laugh as I scream, watched them lock me away in the dark. I have killed them.”
She watches as the anger fades from Theo’s green eyes, until all that is left is regret, regret, regret. His hand finds hers, pressing her fingers further into his forearm. He’s so much taller than her, surrounding her on all sides now that she’s settled in front of him. He opens his mouth to argue, and Luna already knows that no matter what she says he’ll never forgive himself, so she speaks first.
“Are you going to torture me, Theo? Will you trap me in your dungeons and let me forget the sun?” Luna demands. She wonders how she looks right now, perched on his desk between his embrace, mirror dress scattering light all over his dark shirt.
Theo looks wrecked.
“No,” he breathes, “No, I won’t.”
Luna smiles. She has decided she’s going to keep Theodore Nott.
She squeezes his forearm gently. “You’re no Death Eater.”
It’s as though her words have given him permission, because he moves quickly, arms wrapping around her until she is pulled tight against him. His heartbeat thunders in her ear, and he is endlessly warm. It’s safe, there.
He is shaking — she can feel him trembling the way she had done so often in the war. Luna snakes her arms around his ribs to hold him back just as tightly.
“I’m sorry,” Theo breathes, “I’m so, so fucking sorry, Luna.”
Luna is not in the business of crying over things that cannot be changed, but at his words she closes her eyes tightly. He’s the first person to say he’s sorry for what happened to her.
“You weren’t there, Theo. It’s not your fault.” Luna whispers. The only people to blame are dead and gone, and Luna is free. Free to do anything.
Free to spend the rest of her life in Theo’s arms, if she wanted to.
“Will you marry me?” Luna asks quietly. Terrified it’s a mistake, or that he’ll say no, or that despite everything she is meant to be alone.
“I thought I already was,” Theo answers, quietly. Luna tilts her head back to frown at him. She hopes she won’t cry.
“The Ministry cannot force me to do anything I don’t want to do, Theo. I’m not like the others — I have nothing they can take.”
Theo stills and Luna wonders if telling him this is a mistake.
“So why?” Theo demands.
Luna shrugs, “I want a home. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
She can almost feel Theo’s pain at her words, equal to her own. He is another half of her that she didn’t realize was out there.
“Luna, you don’t have to marry me. You can stay here — you can have a home. I won’t trap you in marriage.” Theo tells her.
Luna smiles up at him. She can nearly see forever laid out before her, and she realizes that maybe her father was correct. Maybe you just know.
“I know I’m not what you would choose, Theo. But you’re what I would choose.”
Theo shakes his head at her words, and for a moment Luna’s heart falls. “You’re wrong,” he chokes out, “you’re what I would choose. If I could choose — I would choose you.”
Luna grins at him, and Theo lifts his hand from her waist to her cheek, dragging his thumb across her cheekbone.
“So you’ll marry me?” Luna asks.
“Yeah,” Theo says, “I will.”
He bends forward and kisses her as though it’s as easy as breathing. Luna decides that in some ways, it is. She stretches on her tiptoes and lets herself drown for a moment, because it feels safe.
It feels like forever.
October 30th, 1999 - Saturday
They apparate into Theo’s office, and Luna wonders if it’s because she’s told Theo it’s the warmest room in the house or if it’s a habit because it’s his favourite, too. Theo’s arms are still tightly wrapped around her, his forehead a hairsbreadth from her own. He’s grinning.
“I had fun tonight,” Luna murmurs. She means it, too. The way he had sat with her friends with dozens of people staring at him at The Leaky Cauldron, whispers of death eater under their breath. The way he had relaxed when her fingers had coiled into his, as if tethering him to the bench.
“Me too,” Theo answers quietly. Luna lets her hand reach up to him, pressing her fingers into his cheek. He’s so beautiful, and she’s going to keep him. He’s warm under her touch, and Luna wonders if he can feel the same electricity between them that she feels.
“I don’t want to go home.” The words seem to spill out of her unintentionally. As honest as they are, Luna didn’t mean to confess that. It’s so much — so much, and Theo has been so gentle.
“You don’t have to,” Theo answers quickly, “just stay here. Stay as long as you want.”
Luna feels her happiness spill over into giggles. “Stay forever?”
She’s teasing, but Theo doesn’t let her wait.
“Sure.” He says quickly, “I’m going to kiss you, now.”
He leans forward and cuts off her laughter by pressing his mouth into hers. She stretches to reach and he pulls her close. Magic seems to encircle them, and Luna spreads her fingers across his shoulder blades so she can feel the heat of him.
When they break apart Luna is nearly panting. Theo has lost his smile, and instead, he watches her with green eyes darkened with want.
He said she could stay forever.
“I don’t say anything I don’t intend, Theo,” Luna warns quietly.
Theo’s gaze never wavers. “I never assumed you did, Luna.”
“Oh,” Luna says softly. “Okay.”
“I don’t say anything I don’t intend, either, Luna.” Theo murmurs. “You should stay. You should always stay.”
She can see it now — the way his green eyes warm up, watching her in a way she’s never experienced. She’s seen it on other people, before. Neville used to watch Hannah with those eyes. Luna would hate to be Hannah right now. Seeing that gaze on someone else — knowing you’re never going to have it again.
Harry still watches Ginny that way, though. Probably will for the rest of his life.
“Okay,” Luna agrees quietly. “Maybe we could go walking?”
Theo raises his eyebrows, and Luna can read all of the things people say when she suggests something silly in his expression. It’s dark, it’s too cold, and it’s the night before Halloween.
Instead, Theo shrugs. “If you like.”
She tugs on his fingers and he follows her down the long hallway. She turns at the end, intent on the front door when Theo pulls her to a stop.
“Why don’t I show you the rest of the house? There’s a back door into the yard, you know?” Theo suggests, tugging her down doors and hallways she’s never seen — some of the rooms are dark and foreboding, and he never lingers there, just opens the door and scowls into the room before shutting it.
In a few rooms, he seems wistful, and Luna can nearly feel memories pushing at her, memories she has no part in, but Theo is inviting her. He tours her around a grand ballroom with a large piano on the edge, the windows overlooking the swan lake.
At the doors, he runs the tip of his wand over her collarbone, a warming spell pulsing over her. His magic resonates inside her, and Luna wonders if it’s because she wants him so desperately.
“To keep you warm,” Theo murmurs, his gaze locked on her lips.
“I’m plenty warm,” Luna agrees, and she’s never quite heard her voice as throaty as it sounds now.
Theo swallows hard at her tone, and Luna nearly tells him she’s changed her mind about walking, because perhaps they could do other things instead, but Theo pulls her through the door and out into the cool autumn air.
The wind is exhilarating with Theo’s warming charm surrounding her. Luna vacillates from skipping ahead to look at the grounds in the dusk and pressing herself into Theo’s side for warmth. He seems unbothered and watches her flit around with the same fond expression on his face.
When they reach the pond, Luna slows to a stop beside him. He wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her closer — and Luna wishes she could be closer, wishes she could crawl inside his skin and become the same person.
The moon is beginning to reflect on the calm pond. The swans are all sleeping, hidden away for the night. Luna thinks it would be wise to follow their lead.
“Will you tell me? What happened to you in the war?”
Luna freezes unintentionally, and Theo’s thumb brushes down her rib cage. She doesn’t think she can explain the darkness of the dungeon or the fear that ate away at her every time she heard the sound of boots on the stairwell. Doesn’t think she can explain that she knew his father.
“You don’t have to,” Theo adds. “But I would listen, if you wanted to.”
Even the night holds its breath as she debates on answering. Slowly, she lets out a sigh, because she’ll share this, even this, with Theo. She asks, “Were you afraid? Before the war?”
Theo is quiet for a long moment, but Luna doesn’t mind. She watches the slightest ripples on the pond and wonders how it would feel to be the wind.
“Yes. All the time.” Theo finally says.
She’s not sure why she’s surprised. She knows where Theo came from — knows the rumours of his mother’s death, felt the fury of his father herself. What happiness would be found in a house like this?
“I wasn’t,” Luna says softly. “Not really. I was nervous I would do poorly on an assignment, or get bitten by a norklup, or not have any friends to talk to. But I wasn’t frightened. I was never afraid. Not even when my mother died.”
Theo turns to her, and she tears her gaze away from the still waters to face him. He’s as still and calm as the pond she had been watching, and Luna’s suddenly grateful that Slytherins have learned to hide their emotions.
“Are you still afraid, Luna?”
She shakes her head. “No. But I can still feel it; there’s a space inside me that will never be light again. I don’t want to be who I was in the war, Theo.”
“I don’t think any of us want to be who we were in the war,” Theo says quietly, a hand coming to rest on her cheek. “But you were brave, Luna. You fought for your friends and your freedom.”
Luna nods and is surprised to find herself blinking back tears. “I’m frightened of small spaces, now. I don’t like the dark.”
“Neither do I,” Theo admits. “My father liked to say that sons should be neither seen nor heard.”
Luna’s heart clenches at the thought of Nott Senior locking his son away.
“Bastard,” Luna hisses.
Theo laughs, his arms tightening around her. Luna blinks up at the sound, surprised that Theo could laugh at all. His green eyes are crinkled in the corner, and somehow the darkness of their words seems lighter.
“He was that,” Theo confirms. “Did you ever meet him? In the war?”
Luna doesn’t like to lie — never has made a habit of it. But she doesn’t know if she can tell Theo the truth of this.
Theo’s embrace goes stiff and Luna realizes she’s been quiet for too long and given herself away.
“You did meet him,” Theo says quietly. “Did he hurt you?”
Luna holds herself steady and tightens her arms around him, forcing him to relax back into her. “He didn’t care about me. I was the prisoner that they needed to get at my father, and they had no use for me outside of that.”
It’s not a lie — Nott Sr. didn’t care about her at all.
His son, however, does care. Theo sags in relief, nearly trembling, and Luna lets her face press into his collarbone. He runs a warm palm down her spine.
“I wish I’d killed him,” Theo confesses into her hair. “The very first time I considered it was in third year. If I’d done it then, so many people would have been safer. I would have been safer. Probably would never have this blasted mark on my arm.”
Luna sighs, her breath muffled on his shirt. His heart is thundering in her ear, and all she wants is to forget the war and go back into the house where he had kissed her so freely.
“If you had done that, you’d be a murderer,” Luna reasons. Despite the mark on his arm and the horrible things he’s lived through, Theodore is innocent.
“I’m sorry,” Theo whispers.
“Me too,” Luna admits.
This time, when Theo pulls back, Luna rises to kiss him first. She presses her lips against him, and when he kisses her back she opens freely.
Somehow he chases away the pain of remembrance, and it’s like he’s the same person; they breathe in tandem, their chests heaving against each other. Theo pulls away to press kisses to her jaw, and Luna lays her head back so he can kiss and bite at her neck. He’s nearly gasping for air, and Luna can feel his heart pounding against her breast in sync with hers.
Their warming charms wear off long before they feel the cool air of the night. Theo leads her back inside with his fingers clutched to hers, and hands her some old clothes to wear. They reach the door to his room, and Theo suddenly stops, shaking his head slightly as if to bring some sense into his brain.
“You can have — I mean… there’s a guest suite. I’ll get Thelma to—”
Luna laughs, the sound echoing off the quiet hallways. Theo stops talking at the sound, flushed from their kisses and tongue-tied. He still watches her like he’s never seen the sun rise in his entire life.
Instead of responding, Luna presses the door open and steps inside the bedroom. It’s large, with wide sweeping windows overlooking the grounds. The curtains are still open, letting the moonlight spill onto the centred bed. In Theo’s presence, the wall sconces begin to glow softly.
The bed is large enough for more than two, and Luna slips under the covers on the far side easily. Theo has gone red, still standing in the doorway.
“Are you coming?” Luna asks. Theo nearly trips over his feet in his haste to close the door. He steps into the adjoining bathroom to change into sleep clothes, and when he emerges he mutters a wandless nox to turn the sconces off. The room is still lit by the moon, and Theo slips into the bed beside her quietly.
The sheets are cool and soft, and Luna has quite decided she never wants to sleep alone again. Theo watches her carefully from a pillow away, eyes dark and soft. His arms are tucked tightly to his chest.
“I’m not scared of it, you know,” Luna whispers quietly.
Theo sighs, “I know you’re not.”
“You are, though,” Luna adds. “You’re frightened of it.”
She can nearly hear Theo’s swallow from where she lies, but after an endless moment, he extends his arm to her. His skin is pale and smooth in the moonlight, and the dark mark stares at her. Softly — so softly — she rests her fingers on top of the ink. Theo shudders, as though she’s struck him.
“It reminds me only of evil and hate,” Theo murmurs. “I don’t want it anywhere near you.”
Luna pushes herself forward until she’s pressed chest to chest with Theo, and she can feel his arms wrap around her back. All she can see is Theo’s endlessly warm eyes.
“You might have trouble keeping me away,” Luna advises. “Considering I plan to stay forever.”
Theo’s eyes crinkle with laughter, and Luna kisses him before he can argue again.
November 7th, 1999 - Sunday
“Lady Lovegood,” Thelma murmurs, beside herself. “You are so beautiful.”
Luna feels her cheeks flush at the praise, though she has to agree with the tiny creature. Thelma has outdone herself, bringing her fresh flowers for her hair and ensuring every square inch of her dress is perfect. Her hair has been woven intricately into twists and braids, hanging heavily down her back. Although Luna rarely wears makeup, Thelma had powdered the lightest silver shimmer onto her cheeks and eyes, and a quick beauty spell for darkened eyelashes. It’s quite dramatic with her blue eyes, and Luna hopes Theo will like it.
Her lips are pink from her chewing at them, so Thelma doesn’t bother with anything else. Instead, Luna sips at her tea and watches the house-elf flutter about the small flat she never intends to see again after today. Thelma has already packed everything into Nott Manor, and Luna has given her landlord notice. She won’t be sad to see it go.
“Thelma, will you tell me something?”
The house-elf freezes mid-dust and turns to look at her. “Of course, my lady.”
“What was Theo’s mother like?”
Thelma’s big eyes fill with tears, and Luna watches as she blinks them back. Her voice, when it comes, is higher than usual.
“Lady Nott was… kind,” Thelma says quietly. “Always had time for Thelma. Always greeting the creatures and the flowers and the swans. So beautiful. Just like you.”
Luna swallows. “Thank you, Thelma. I wish I could have met her.”
“Oh! But you do know her,” Thelma says quickly, clapping her hands. “You know her because Master Nott carries her, of course. Nobody is ever truly gone, my lady. She's still in his eyes and his smile. He is patient and quiet like she was.”
Luna blinks — she has always regarded house elves as one of the most intelligent and emotional species, yet she finds herself surprised at Thelma’s words.
“What happens after a house-elf dies, Thelma?” Luna asks. “Or anyone, really.”
Thelma’s expression goes soft, as if Luna is a child who has asked an endearing question. “We die, all the same. But those who love us — they are us. They keep us, even after. Thelma is her mother, you see? Same hands, same smile. Same way of folding sheets and cleaning floors. Same laugh.”
Luna nods, because she does see. “I look like my mother, too, Thelma. I’m curious, the same way she was."
“And so beautiful,” Thelma reminds her. “The perfect Lady Nott.”
Luna’s smile feels shaky with nerves and happiness. “Do you think Theo’s mother would have liked me?”
Thelma steps forward and snags Luna’s hand in her own. She is so small compared to Luna, yet she feels huge in that moment. Luna bends until her knees press into the floor, and she can stare into Thelma’s dear face.
“I have not seen Master Nott so happy in a long, long time,” Thelma murmurs, squeezing her fingers. “And Lady Nott would have loved anything that made him smile this way, Thelma is sure of it.”
Luna reaches forward to pull the tiny creature into her arms, and Thelma squeezes her back carefully over the layers of cream fabric.
“I am so glad to have you with us, Thelma,” Luna tells her.
Thelma pats her back softly. “And Thelma is glad to be here, my lady.”
Thelma arranges her artfully in the foyer, and Luna admits the house-elf knows what she’s doing. The stars stitched into her dress are nearly glowing in the sunlight spilling in from the window, and Luna doubts she’s ever felt prettier.
Theo walks in with Thelma pushing him. He’s got his eyes tightly closed, and Luna wants to laugh at the sight of a tiny house-elf shoving a fully grown man into a foyer, but she holds it in.
Thelma disapparates to leave them alone, and Luna waits for Theo to finally open his eyes. When he does, they go wide and surprised, and Luna bites back a smile.
“Luna—” He chokes out. He doesn’t get any further, and Luna realizes that her future husband is quite literally tongue-tied at the sight of her. She grins.
“You like it.” Luna decides easily.
Theo finally steps forward and raises a hand to brush his fingertips over her collarbones. The fabric is soft under his touch, and she pictures him pressing starlight into her skin.
Luna giggles, “You really like it.”
“I don’t know how I get this, Luna,” Theo whispers, a frown stuck on his face.
Luna grins because she can handle this. She reaches out and takes his hand, tangling their fingers together. “It’s easy, Theo. You just accept it.”
“Okay,” Theo agrees quietly. Luna knows how difficult it is for him to think he deserves something good — but she will convince him. Even if it takes the rest of her life.
“You look handsome,” Luna says because it’s true. He fills out his dark suit in all the best places, and Luna can feel heat pooling at the thought of what his hands can do to her.
“You have put the sky to shame,” Theo tells her.
Luna blushes, and she watches Theo’s eyes track the heat of her skin and the flutter of her eyelashes. She remembers what she thought, that first day with the black letter in her hands. Theodore Nott. Luna Lovegood. The moon and the night.
Together they are the sky.
Saturday, December 18th, 1999
Luna finds Thelma in the kitchen, organizing a platter of snacks for the evening's party. The tiny creature is nearly buzzing with excitement, and Luna wonders when the last time Nott Manor had a party that was simply for fun, something that Thelma could enjoy being a part of was. Since the moment Luna asked her to help plan, Thelma has been nearly beside herself with joy.
“Good morning, Thelma.” Luna greets. She’s still wearing Theo’s long pyjama shirt and her tall sunflower socks, and she carries the way her husband had watched her this morning close to her heart.
She’s also carrying another secret; she’s surprised it isn’t written all over her face. It’s time to share, though.
Thelma spins and gifts her with a huge smile. “My lady, good morning. How are you?”
Luna grins at her. “I’m wonderful Thelma. But I was wondering if… well, I need you to keep a secret?”
Thelma’s happiness dims a little, and she tugs nervously at the little knitted sweater Theo had given her for Christmas — which had initially been met with horror at him ‘freeing’ her, but accepted gratefully when Theo explained salaries and holidays and bonuses.
“Thelma is bound by Nott Manor, my lady. She cannot keep a secret from her Master.” Thelma whispers.
Luna laughs, “Oh, dearest Thelma. It’s not a bad secret. And Theo will know by tonight, I promise.”
After a long minute of deliberation, Thelma nods. Luna steps forward and crouches down to stare into Thelma’s eyes. The house-elf has welcomed her into this family in every way, and Luna can hardly explain how much she loves her. She already knows how Thelma will love this secret.
“I’m pregnant,” Luna whispers. “Would you confirm it?”
In an unsurprising move, Thelma bursts into tears and throws herself into Luna’s arms. Luna pats the little house-elf on the back and blinks back her own happy tears.
After a long moment, Thelma pulls away and wipes her wet cheeks. She’s wearing a tremulous smile, and Luna reaches out to take one of her tiny hands. Thelma squeezes tightly and nods, too overcome for words.
When Thelma rests her other hand over Luna’s abdomen and murmurs under her breath, Luna feels a pulsing warmth in her chest. Almost immediately, a glowing golden orb appears in front of her belly, and Thelma gasps.
The golden orb, more beautiful than anything Luna’s ever seen, splits into two before her eyes.
“Twins,” Thelma breathes.
This time, Luna bursts into tears, and it is Thelma who takes to rubbing her back. She can’t remember the last time she truly cried — and it’s the first time in a long time that she’s had happy tears like this.
Two. Two is the most magical number in the entire world, Luna’s decided. She presses her own fingertips into her belly, and wonders who they will be. If they know how much they are wanted.
“Are you sure?” Luna asks.
Thelma nods. “Very sure, my lady.”
Luna smiles, “Thank you, Thelma.”
She moves to stand up again, but Thelma reaches out to hold her still. The house elf is nearly glowing. “You have given Thelma a most wondrous gift, my lady.”
“No, Thelma,” Luna says quietly. “It is me that has been given a gift. You and Theo are my family.”
Thelma nods. “It has been a long time since the Nott Manor has felt this full. This light.”
Luna remembers how Thelma had declared her and Theo’s engagement to be light. She remembers how she felt walking into the manor the first time. This Manor has been filled with sadness for so long, and it is nearly unrecognizable now. Thelma has filled every corner with lights and garland, and the most common sound throughout the halls is laughter.
It’s a home. A home where they will raise their babies.
“It’s our home, Thelma. All of ours, now. And we all love each other,” Luna smiles. “It would be difficult for it to feel dark, anymore.”
Thelma nods, blinking wet eyes, “It truly—”
“Morning,” Theo’s voice says from the doorway. Thelma bites down on her words and disapparates, leaving Luna staring at nothing.
“What’s wrong with Thelma?” Theo asks, and Luna turns to look at her husband.
His hair is mussed, and he’s still got pillow lines on his cheek. Her heart feels like it could explode. She grins at him.
“Nothing.” She says.
Theo laughs, stepping forward to tug Luna close. “You are very obviously up to something, Lady Nott.”
Luna stretches on her tiptoes, giggles escaping her. She kisses him softly and wonders how she will tell him of her news.
He must read the nerves on her face. “What’s wrong, Luna?” He asks.
She blinks, schooling her face into something calm. “Nothing is wrong. It’s just new.”
Theo grins at her non-answer. “New is good. You were new to me, once.”
Luna beams at his words.
She’s standing in their ballroom taking in the majesty of Thelma’s decorations. She’s gone above and beyond, and every square centimetre glitters and sparkles with lights and garland. Gentle music plays from the piano in the corner, and fairies flit about beyond the windows overlooking the pond. It’s like a fairytale.
The strangest thing, though, is that Luna can almost picture a woman standing in front of the wood-panelled wall. It’s like a memory that Luna’s almost forgotten; auburn curly hair, bright green eyes. A face filled with love and pride.
“Do you believe in ghosts?” Luna asks.
“Luna… we’ve met ghosts,” Theo answers from behind her. “Don’t you remember Nearly Headless Nick and the Bloody Baron?”
Luna waves his words away, “Yes, yes. I mean… spirits. Do you believe in them?”
“I suppose I must do if I’m surrounded by magic.”
Luna finally turns from the half-memory so vivid she feels it. Her husband is wearing his best dress robes and a concerned expression. His eyes, so beautiful, are as green as ever.
“Did you know you have your mother’s eyes?” Luna asks.
Theo freezes. “How… how would you know that?”
Luna steps toward him, raising her hand to press into his cheek. She doesn’t want him to be afraid. She remembers what Thelma told her, so long ago now.
“People don’t just leave,” Luna repeats quietly.
“She died, Luna.” Theo’s voice is hoarse. “She didn’t leave.”
Luna smiles softly. The memory plays in repeat in her brain — another time, another ball, and the woman who gave her the man in front of her. “Green, green, green. She’s lovely.”
Theo snaps his head to the side to see where she’s looking. It’s nothing but the panelled wall, and when he turns back to meet Luna’s gaze she’s still smiling at him. “Sometimes they’re here after they go,” Luna adds softly. “Don’t worry so much. She’s very proud of you.”
Theo swallows hard. “You can see her?”
“No,” Luna answers, “I can just tell.”
Even without the ghost of memory in this room, Luna would know. What mother wouldn’t be proud of him? Theo is everything she’s ever wanted.
The moment arrives the way Luna knew it would. They stand before the pond, a warming charm enveloping them despite the chilly night air. They can still hear their guests' laughter from inside, accompanied by the lightest music.
The fairies are still flitting about, some of them pausing to land on her shoulders and rest. They run tiny hands through her blonde hair, and Luna smiles at them. Fairies are fickle creatures, but unless you harm them they enjoy anything beautiful and joyous. It’s in their nature to sense secrets, and Luna has the best secret.
“Look, Theo,” Luna says, watching the sky. It seems like every single star has lit up in honour of them, and the nearly full moon bathes them in a cool glow.
“It’s beautiful.” Theo agrees. Suddenly he points up.“Did you see that? Shooting stars!”
“Muggles wish on those, you know,” Luna tells him. Her father had told her that once, the very first time she had seen a falling star. She had only been fourteen, the night before she was set to return to Hogwarts for her fourth year. He had told her not to tell her wish, or it wouldn’t come true.
She’d wished for a friend, and she’d never told anyone her wish.
The next morning she’d boarded the Hogwarts Express, and Ginny, Harry, and Neville had sat in her train compartment.
“What do they do that for?” Theo asks.
Luna shrugs delicately, “Stars are good secret keepers.”
Theo turns fully to her, raising a hand to her jaw. His palm is warm, and Luna sinks into it easily.
“I wish I’d found you without the WPG,” Theo admits quietly. Luna realizes she forgot to tell him he shouldn’t say his wish out loud.
“That’s a good wish, but you would have found me either way. I’m sure of it.” Luna tells him easily. She’s never been more certain of anything — She was meant to find Theodore Nott.
“What makes you so sure?” Theo asks. He’s trying to look grumpy, but the corners of his lips are turning up.
“Two is a good number,” Luna says. “It’s the best number.”
He laughs at her words. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
Luna swallows hard because this is the moment. She pulls his hand gently away from her jaw and presses it against her belly. His expression goes slack.
“It was always meant to be you, Theo,” Luna murmurs. “You’ve given me everything. A family.”
“Are you—?” Theo chokes out.
Luna beams at his shock. “Two. The best number. Thelma checked this morning.”
She doesn’t have to wait for his reaction. Theo nearly knocks her over in his haste to wrap his arms around her, lifting her straight off her feet into the air. Luna laughs into his ears, and when he puts her down he doesn’t let her go.
“I hope they have your green eyes,” Luna tells him softly. She means it — she wants the babies to carry their father around with them. To feel how much he loves them, how much he has waited and wanted.
“I love you,” Theo chokes out.
Luna blinks at the words — because she has always known this. He’s never said it, but he’s never needed to. Theo has wrapped his entire world around her, and Luna knows she is the center of his everything.
“I know,” Luna murmurs.“I’ve always known.”
Theo kisses her suddenly, holding her face and pressing his lips to her cheeks and forehead. She giggles in between and kisses him back the best she can.
When he pulls his face away, he’s got tears in his eyes. She’s still pressed as close to him as she can get.
Luna wonders suddenly if Theo doesn’t know the same way that she always has. If he’s been waiting on her words.
“I love you, Theo,” Luna says. “I think I was maybe born to love you.”
Theo’s expression goes soft. “And the babies?”
“Yeah,” Luna agrees. “And the babies, too.”
Saturday, December 25th, 1999 - Christmas Day
Luna wakes up alone for the first time since her wedding day. She turns to find Theo’s side of the bed mussed but cool to the touch, and she frowns. Of the two of them, he prefers to sleep in. Plus, both of them enjoy slow lazy mornings together.
And it’s Christmas.
Luna drags herself out of bed. She’s been exhausted and slightly nauseous for days — and while she loves the two tiny babies growing in her beyond all reason, she wishes they would stop making her ill.
Theo isn’t in his office or the front foyer when she looks, so Luna puts on her warm clothes and treks out to the Thestrals' barn. They greet her with gentle nickers and nudge her until she gives them apples.
“Have you seen my love?” Luna asks them quietly, stroking down their spiny backs. She loves Thestrals, more than she loves most creatures. They’re misunderstood; while they have a relationship with death, they don’t cause death. They’re gentle, and herd animals. They don’t like to be alone.
“Happy Christmas,” Luna says. The largest mare nudges at her shoulder, and Luna laughs. “Yes. I am having babies.”
They gather around her, and Luna bathes in their affection. Thestrals know death, but they also know life.
“I thought I might find you here,” Theo says, leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed.
Luna beams, “I was looking for you, actually. You left bed.”
Theo steps towards her, and the Thestrals part so he has space. “Sorry. I didn’t think you’d wake. I should have left a note.”
“Yes,” Luna agrees, but she’s not mad. “Happy Christmas, Theo.”
He tugs her into an embrace, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Happy Christmas. I have a surprise for you.”
Luna pulls back just enough to study his expression. He’s nervous but trying to hide it. “I like surprises,” Luna says.
“I know,” Theo laughs.
She follows him back to the house, their fingers intertwined. Thelma has prepared breakfast and it sits on the counter ready to be dished up. Three plates.
Luna turns to ask Theo why Thelma added an extra plate, only to find herself standing in front of her father.
“Daddy?” Luna says breathlessly.
Xenophilius is tanned from being abroad, but he still beams at her and opens his arms wide. “Hello, Luna.”
She throws herself into his arms, and it feels like being six years old again when he wraps her up tightly.
“How are you here?”
Xenophilius releases her and gestures to Theo, who is watching their reunion with a self-satisfied expression. “Your new husband got his hands on an inter-continental portkey.”
Luna spins to Theo, not sure what words will fall out of her mouth first. “How did you— When?”
Theo takes pity on her. “I’ve been looking for your father since before we got married. I wanted him to be at the wedding, but it turns out he’s a difficult man to find.”
Luna blinks and turns to her father. He’s grinning. “He had hired some young American wizard, and when he did find me, I’m afraid I was quite rude. I had no intentions of returning to Britain.”
Theo rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “He also informed my man that you knew where he was the entire time!”
Luna blinks. “Of course I did. But I never thought he’d be able to come here.”
“Technically, there’s a warrant for my immediate arrest for failing to comply with the WPG — which, Luna, you neglected to tell me about.” Xenophilius frowns at her.
“You told me I would know if it was right,” Luna shrugs, turning back to her husband. “And I knew.”
Theo smiles softly at her. “It took me a while to convince him, but he finally agreed to visit for Christmas.”
“An inter-continental portkey is no small thing, Theo,” Luna says softly. They’re illegal, for the most part. Incredibly difficult to apply for and receive.
This time, her words are met with laughter from her father, who watches her fondly. “Oh, little moon. You’ve married a Nott. You know that, right?”
Luna nods. “Of course.”
“He’s rich, dearest,” her father says. “The Nott’s hold one of the largest Gringott’s accounts in Great Britain. And I’m sure your husband isn’t foolish enough to put everything he has in Gringott’s. I’m fairly certain the portkey wasn’t an issue.”
Theo laughs, and Luna turns back to him. She’s always known the Nott’s had money — the Manor itself was indicative of that, as well as the Thestrals he had acquired. Luna had always assumed Nott Sr. had only left him a Manor, and his wealth had been taken by Voldemort, or for the reparations for his role in the war.
“I mean, we’re no Malfoys, but we’ll be fine,” Theo says, a bit smugly. Luna realizes suddenly that he’s not proud of his money — he’s proud that he can take care of her. That he can provide for her and the babies. That he can give her this: Christmas morning with her father.
She reaches out and squeezes his hand, “Thank you, Theo.”
Theo watches her with endless affection. “You’re more than welcome.”
“Daddy,” Luna says. “Are you hungry? Our house-elf Thelma made breakfast.”
Xenophilius beams, “I’m starved!” He walks to the counter to snag one of the still-steaming tea cups. “Amazing creatures, house elves. Did you know they disobey almost all of the rules of magic? Incredibly tight family bonds. They have the most unwavering sense of loyalty.”
Luna blinks back happy tears, because Theo has given her this. Given her one perfect day where she isn’t worried about war, the WPG, or where her father is. Instead, she gets to show him her new house. He can meet Thelma and Theo, and she can tell him he will be a grandfather soon. He can talk to her about all the magical creatures he's seen on his adventures, and she can tell him how she has used the Quibbler for good and for truth, the way he always taught her.
Theo’s palm is warm on her lower back as she watches her father, and when she turns to face him he's already watching her with warm eyes.
“Good surprise?” Theo asks quietly.
Luna nods. “The best surprise.”
He leans down and kisses her quickly. “I love you, Lu.”
She smiles at his words. He’s never called her Lu before. She doesn’t think anyone has ever given her a nickname, other than Loony Lovegood. It’s nice, something that only he can call her. They are eachothers.
“I love you, too.”
Sunday, February 6th
The Manor feels emptier without Cho. Luna misses her; they had known each other in Hogwarts since they were in the same house, but they had never been close. In the short time she stayed with them, Luna had grown fond of her. She missed her presence, quiet and thoughtful. She missed her rare laughter, and the moments when it seemed like they were girls again, sharing secrets in Ravenclaw tower.
Theo misses her, too, but Luna can tell a part of him is relieved. It had been hard for him, to have someone who was frightened of him in the space they had created — the home they had filled with promises and love and laughter. He had walked on eggshells; slow and non-threatening. Keeping his distance.
He walks by her now, stopping briefly only to bend over and press a kiss to the top of her head. She’s sitting in her favourite chair overlooking the gardens, curled up in Theo’s biggest sweater. She has a book in her hands, but Luna can’t remember what it was about.
“You want some tea, Lu?” Theo asks quietly.
She shakes her head. “No thanks.”
“Did you eat breakfast?”
Luna frowns — she had a piece of toast at Thelma’s insistence. It’s difficult to feel like taking care of herself when she had watched Cho lowered into the ground only the night before. When she had told Thelma that, the tiny house-elf had scowled darkly and informed her that taking care of herself is the same as taking care of the babies and Theo. It had been the first time Thelma had ever been cross with her, so Luna ate every last crumb.
“Yes,” Luna replies mildly, because she’s not ready for someone else to scold her.
Instead, Theo crouches down in front of her and moves her book gently out of her hands. It might be the worst she’s ever seen her husband look. He’s washed out and tired, with dark circles under the eyes she loves so much.
He’s worried for her, and Luna’s heart aches with it.
“Tell me what you need,” Theo murmurs quietly. “Tell me, and I will do it for you. Anything, Luna.”
He’s placed a hand on top of hers. It dwarfs her tiny fingers, and Luna uses both hands to squeeze it. He squeezes back, just as tight. It’s unfair, what’s happened to them.
“I’d like to stop burying my friends,” Luna says quietly. It’s unfair, because she knows that Theo would do anything for her. If he could, he’d go back in time and change everything, so she never had to live with this pain. He’d go to war again for her.
Luna realizes she’s crying when Theo raises his other hand to brush his thumb over her tears. She releases his hand to reach for him, and Theo nearly drags her out of the chair and into his arms. They stumble over to their couch, and when Theo sits down on it Luna curls herself into him as close as she can get.
He’s warm, and her head fits perfectly under his chin. He doesn't rush her, just lets her tears soak into his shirt and strokes a warm palm down her spine, over and over. Eventually, Luna wipes her face and focuses on Theo's heart thundering in her ear. It reminds her of two tiny fluttering heartbeats counting on her for everything.
“What do you think about the name Selene Pandora Nott?” Luna asks quietly, her voice still hoarse. Theo holds his breath under his cheek.
He sighs. “It’s beautiful, Lu. What if we have a boy?”
She shakes her head. His fingers find her chin and tilt it until she’s looking up into her favourite eyes in the world.
“It’s girls. Both girls.” Luna explains. “Are you disappointed?”
Surprise flickers across his face. “Why would I be disappointed?”
She shrugs as best she can. “The Nott’s have boys.”
“The Nott’s have historically been stupid,” Theo reasons. “I want daughters. I want anything. I want them healthy and happy and safe.”
As always, Theo has chased away some of the lingering sadness. “Me too,” she admits.
He watches her with warm eyes, and Luna doesn’t bother looking away. They’re coiled so closely that she’s bound to get too warm, but she has no intentions of moving. Maybe until the babies actually get here, this is all they’ll do.
“Do you like Elara?” Theo asks suddenly.
Luna rolls the name over in her head. It’s pretty, and she likes it, but Luna knows exactly what Theo is doing.
“Are you going to name all of your daughters after moons?” She asks archly.
Theo huffs. “You started it with Selene.”
Luna feels her smile spreading. “I like it. Elara.”
“Good,” Theo says softly, mirroring her grin. “Because I like the idea of having all my little moons around.”
Luna runs her fingertips across his chest, wrinkling and smoothing the fabric. Her father had always called her that, his little moon. She likes the idea that Theo would continue the tradition.
“Very lucky moons,” Luna says quietly. She imagines their house in only a year. Filled with chaos and babies and exhaustion. A home, in every sense of the word.
“How will I ever convince you to homeschool our children? I’m already dreading the day they go to Hogwarts.” Theo asks.
Luna laughs at his panic. “We have a long time before that happens, my love. Plus, we can always have more children. Sons, maybe.”
“Really?” Theo sounds excited, and Luna buries her grin in his shirt. “You want more? How many more?”
Luna thinks about it — about how much her father loved her and tried for her, and yet she always felt so alone. No mother, no siblings, no friends. She knows Theo felt the same.
“I’ve always wanted a big family,” Luna admits. “As many as we are given, I suppose.”
At this, Theo wraps both arms tightly around her turning her almost into the cushions of the couch. He surrounds her on every level, and she is consumed by the heat of him. He is hers.
“I didn’t even know to dream of you,” Theo murmurs into her ear. “And now you’ve given me everything.”
Luna smiles at him — this person who she loves more each day, even when it feels like she can’t possibly love him more.
“They’re going to be Ravenclaws, you know,” Luna informs him.
Theo’s face breaks into a grin. “Of course they are.”
“Perhaps we should practice?”
Theo’s grin never fades. “Practice what, Lu?”
She smirks at him, widening her blue eyes. “Making more children?”
He kisses the laughter out of her mouth.
August 22nd, 2000
Luna wakes up with moonlight streaming over her. She’s overheated and has to pee, which is pretty much how she’s felt the last two months. Theo’s arm is still banded around her, only now he has to navigate around the huge belly that extends so far she can’t see her toes when she stands up.
Luna brushes her palm over her stomach, feeling the life and the movement. The twins are quiet right now, but Luna isn’t fooled. They’ve been practicing aerobics for weeks.
The moon is full, and Luna can see it through the filmy curtains. It’s time, she knows, even without the cramping pain she feels.
“Theo?”
Her husband stirs quietly, his voice hoarse and groggy. “What’s wrong, Lu?”
“Could you get Hannah?” Luna asks quietly.
Theo is wide awake suddenly, sitting up and leaning over her. “Is it time? Oh, sweet Merlin, is it time, Lu?!”
Luna laughs and turns over on her back. It’s worth feeling slightly suffocated to see her husband riddled with panic and adrenaline. “Not yet, but soon. Go get Hannah, please.”
Theo nearly leaps six feet into the air as he launches off the bed. He scrambles on the floor for his shirt and manages to tug her sweater on over his head before he recognizes the pink plush. Luna holds in her laughter.
“Okay, okay,” Theo pants when he’s finally got all the correct clothes on. “Okay. Thelma! Thelma — stay with Luna, please!”
The house-elf has barely appeared when Theo drops a kiss onto Luna’s forehead and disapparates straight out of the bedroom. Thelma looks just as concerned as Theo did. Luna reaches her hands out and Thelma hops on the bed to pull at them until Luna is sitting up.
“My lady, are you alright?” Thelma asks once Luna is sitting again.
Luna nods. “Never better, Thelma. The babies are coming.”
Thelma laughs. “Oh, poor Master Nott.”
“Yes,” Luna laughs. “He was a bit flustered.”
Luna stands slowly, grabbing the clothes she had prepared for this moment. She turns to Thelma and opens her mouth, only to freeze when she feels her water break.
“Oh dear,” Luna says mildly. “I’m glad I haven’t changed yet.”
Thelma snaps her fingers and the mess is cleaned, but the house-elf’s eyes are bright with excitement and nerves. Luna feels strangely calm — she is doing something she was born to do.
She goes into the bathroom and cleans herself up, brushing her hair and braiding it away from her face. The clothes she had chosen are both comfortable and meaningful, and Luna presses her fingers to the three little moons embroidered over her heart. Theo had given it to her nearly a month ago, and he had been practical enough to buy the largest one he could find, so even her belly fits inside comfortably.
When she opens the door, Thelma reaches for her hand. She’s got the bag Luna had packed ages ago in her other hand, and they head to the main foyer slowly.
“Wait,” Luna says, stopping at the door next to their bedroom. She opens it and watches the glow of the moon light up the nursery. Two cribs side by side, because it doesn’t feel right to take them away from each other when all they’ve ever known is together. They’ve painted the room a creamy off-white, and Luna had made Theo paint the roof a navy blue. Even he admitted it was a great idea when Luna spelled stars onto the ceiling; not too bright but shimmering gently. There are books spilling out of their bookshelves already, and a soft green rug on the floor.
Above the cribs, Luna had painted their names in flowing gold lettering, spending every second thinking about how loved they were. How much they were wanted.
Now, it’s just waiting for them.
“Perfect,” Luna whispers. Thelma nods slowly.
They continue to the foyer, and Luna’s just settled into her favourite armchair sipping at a cool glass of water when the Floo lights up. Theo nearly falls out of the fireplace, with Hannah walking calmly behind.
“Hi Luna,” Hannah greets. “How are we feeling?”
Luna smiles. Hannah has blossomed with the gift of time — she’s been working at the new Orphanage with Andromeda, and finishing her St Mungo’s training every evening. Only four days prior she had completed her Healer exams on magical pregnancy and birth — something Luna had asked her to do when she had finally woken up.
She’d gotten an Exceeds Expectations, and she wears the pride of it on her face.
“I’m ready,” Luna tells her, setting her glass of water down. “Let’s do this.”
Hannah takes one arm and Theo takes the other, and Luna follows them into the Floo.
“Selene Pandora Nott,” Luna murmurs, staring down at the tiny baby in Hannah’s arms. It’s almost time to push again, but Hannah is efficient while she cleans off baby Selene. She’d taught Theo the best way to cut the cord ages ago, and even though Theo looks nervous enough to fall over, his hand is steady when he casts.
Hannah hands the baby to him without a moment’s thought and resumes her place at Luna’s feet. Luna watches, enraptured, as Theo stares down at his oldest daughter. Her crying has quieted, and he’s rocking her gently. He hasn’t blinked even once, as though he’s frightened to miss even one second of her life, and Luna suddenly wants to cry with how much she loves both of them.
When it comes time to push again, Luna does so despite her exhaustion. She’s always been told it would all be worth it once they got here, and as it turns out, that’s true.
“You have another girl,” Hannah says eventually, and Luna feels nearly boneless.
Hannah cleans her with the same efficiency, cutting the cord on her own this time since Theo is still wrapped up in Selene. This time, when she’s finished, Hannah hands the baby to Luna.
Luna looks down at her daughter’s red face and realizes suddenly just how much her own mother and father must have loved her the moment they saw her. It would be impossible not to. She glances up to find Theo bent near her, with baby Selene wrapped up and blinking. Luna takes in her other daughter while Theo watches the newest member in her arms.
"She's perfect," he breathes.
Luna nods, “Yes.”
“Selene, meet your sister,” Theo says.
“Elara Cho Nott,” Luna murmurs. “I love them so much already.”
Theo laughs, shaky from the rollercoaster ride of bliss and terror. “I want about ten more.”
Luna winces, “Too soon, my love.”
“Want to switch?” Theo asks eagerly. Luna nods so he carefully places Selene in her arms, taking Elara gently. It’s clumsy, the first transfer, but Luna knows they will get better.
“I understand my father less every year,” Theo murmurs quietly, tracing his fingertip over his daughter’s cheek.
Luna swallows hard, realizing that while she has realized how much her parents loved her, Theo is having the opposite thought.
“He wasn’t fit to be a father,” Luna reminds him.
Theo nods slowly. While he had once worried about what kind of a father he would be, Luna has never doubted him. It seems that the first glimpse of their daughters has finally put Theo's fears to rest.
“How does anyone get anything done?” Theo asks suddenly. “I just want to stare at them all day.”
Luna laughs because her gaze has also drifted down to Elara, sleeping on her chest. Her crying has transitioned into sleep easily; Selene, however, is wide away and blinking at her father.
Hannah pops back into the room, and Luna realizes she had left silently, giving them time to be a family. “You have some visitors when you’re ready.”
“Who?” Theo asks.
“Draco and Hermione.” Hannah grins. “And your father, Luna.”
Luna gasps and looks at Theo. “How did he get here so fast?”
Theo smiles at her gently. “I gave him a portkey at Christmas after you told him about the babies. Then I activated it this morning. It brought him straight to St. Mungo’s.”
“Thank you,” Luna whispers. “Let them in,” she tells Hannah.
Their room is flooded suddenly with friends and family, and Luna is exhausted and sweaty and practically lit from within with happiness. She watches as her father holds his new granddaughters, and his tears at them honouring her mother’s name.
She watches Theo carefully hand Elara to Draco, who is paler than she’s ever seen him. He cradles the bundle to his chest so carefully, afraid to move too quickly. He grins at Hermione with unbridled affection, but Hermione is too busy staring down at Selene to notice.
Theo’s hand reaches for hers, and she twines their fingers together. He mouths i love you and she squeezes his hand back.
There is so much more to this world than the war they’ve been entrenched in so long. So much more than the misery and devastation that the past few years have brought them. There is still friends and family and sacrifice and love.
There is light.