Collection of random chapters.

You had been working as Snape's assistant in his classes for the past year and a half roughly, typically helping with marking, cleaning up on days where a student didn't have detention with him, making lesson plans for the week ahead and preparing ingredients for each lesson each day whilst occasionally covering him in regards to his Death Eater work when needed which you knew about. 

Dumbledore and Snape felt it necessary to tell you about the Dark Mark after a year of being his assistant when he felt he could trust you enough with the secret. You were and still are surprised that he had that much trust in you to reveal something that important about him.

Especially since it was a fairly rocky start between you two when you first started. You are the flip opposite of what Snape likes, loud, outgoing, optimistic and bubbly. To be frank, you are a ray of sunshine which he absolutely hates and finds the most annoying of everything. He would shoot daggers at you from across the classroom, scowl every time you entered the room, roll his eyes or groan every time you tripped over your own feet. You would also try to get him out of the school of a a day or two at the weekends, usually to the three broomsticks for a butterbeer or firewhisky as was Severus' preferred drink but to no avail until recently.

Interestingly enough, over time he started to scowl less, rolled his eyes less and started to be less bitter and intimidating with you... You could even go as far as to say he started to mellow around you. It was tough at first, there were tears and thoughts of quitting being his assistant but you stuck it through. The more and more you chipped away at his frosty heart, the more you wanted to stay in the end.

You were both sat in the potions room after school hours marking the last of the student's work for the week. Only the sound of your quills scribbling away could be heard. Occasionally a potion would be quietly simmering away for the next week and sometimes Severus would call a student an idiot or something of the like under his breath which always caused you to chuckle quietly. You would sometimes look up at Severus after your chuckle and see the ghost of a smile or smirk on his features which would make you feel warm inside.

You finished your pile of marking and pushed yourself back, your chair breaking the comfortable silence. You threw your arms up in a stretch before getting up and picking up the pile. Severus looked up slightly from behind his stack as you sighed and plodded over to his desk. You added your finished marking to his pile and picked up half of what was left of his pile to mark. "You don't need to." He muttered tiredly, not looking up from his pile.

"You say that every time, Severus. I don't mind, you know I don't." You smiled as you sat back down at your desk before picking up the first paper and opening it. Another half an hour passed before both of you had finished all of the marking and the piles were on the end of his table ready for Monday. 

Valentines day had passed a couple of weeks ago but you still felt the pang of loneliness in your chest and that made the both of you, though for Severus, it was normal and didn't bother him as much these days. It never used to bother you at all either but as Snape softened and as you saw a different side of him, it made you want to be around him more. He was almost like a different man which one would think impossible if you had met him. You had been trying to supress and ignore any feelings for him you thought you had, deny them to yourself even. Your mind trying to persuade yourself that he was never interested in anyone and that fact wouldn't change any time soon.

As you cleaned up your desk, you huffed to yourself drawing Severus' attention to you. "What's wrong y/n?" He asked as he neatened the pile of marked papers, no snark or bitterness in his words. "Nothing." You shrugged trying to force a smile. Severus turned to see your obviously forced smile and half frowned. "You know I can read minds, y/n." He said raising an eyebrow. "You wouldn't dare" You muttered back unimpressed. "Try me" He countered almost playfully, another ever so faint smile on his lips. You huffed at his response like a which made him want to laugh. You always reminded him of a grumpy hedgehog when you huffed and puffed at something that annoyed you.

"Please, tell me what's wrong." He said pulling a chair out to sit on it.  As of late, he really did care for you and was trying to show it. You turned your head away in slight annoyance. How dare he actually care when I don't want him to. You thought to yourself. "Idk." You muttered shuffling your feet, Severus shooting you an unimpressed look before softening again, you being in a mood wasn't like you and he understood that. Quickly you caved in and sat a few tables away from him, close to the door in case he was about to say something snarky.

"I feel lonely." You almost whispered, picking at the table. Snape scoffed with surprise and you rolled your eyes in retaliation. "You. Lonely?" He drawled out in his usual spaced out tone. "Frankly, I find that impossible to believe, knowing you, the school's 'ray of sunshine'."

"Not like that. I just..." You sighed heavily trying to find the right words and failing. "Valentines day passed a few weeks ago. It just sucks seeing couples walking round being mushy." You said slumping in the chair slightly. Severus only frowned again. "You have a big heart, y/n. You'll find love eventually." He spoke softly. Probably the softest he'd ever spoke to you. "I, on the other hand will never find love." He added, bitterness lacing his words this time.

"Pfft, I don't believe that, Severus." Your eyebrows furrowed, Severus only scoffed again before getting up to leave. "I mean it. You are completely different with me compared to everyone else." You too stood up, facing Severus who still had his back to you. "What. Is that. Supposed to mean?" He drawled out, looking over his shoulder. Clearly you had touched a sensitive topic, one you never brought up because of her. 

"Well you are... I don't know.. Mellow. You're mellow when I'm around and I've never seen you like that with anyone else." You smiled hoping he would see it. "I don't deserve love, y/n. I never have, I'm a mean, callous, bitter man who would be better off without anyone to hurt. I don't deserve the love they give, nor would they deserve the bitterness I'd give in return." He countered bitterly, head turning to face the wall again.  "Well that's where you are wrong, Severus" You spoke softly but defiantly.

-- Song for the mood. --

"You deserve to be loved, Severus. You deserve to be loved for who you are, with your flaws, your quirks and your imperfections. You deserve to be with someone who doesn’t make you afraid of being yourself but encourages it. You deserve someone who can see the good in the bad and still have faith in you.." You spoke softly, scared that if you rose your voice any higher than a whisper, he'd run. Slowly taking steps towards him, like a person calmly approaching a terrified, injured animal.

"You deserve to be with someone who sees all your facets, even the worst and still chooses to stay, to support you." You were now within arm's reach of Severus. Your arm reached up of it's own free will and gently rested on his right arm just above the elbow. Severus tensed, still standing as still as though frozen by ice.

"I get that lowering your walls is hard and can be very painful and can take a very long time to heal when you get hurt but your walls shouldn't stay up forever. You need to let go sometimes, as hard as it might be because believe it or not, Severus, you are loved. You are loved by soo many and by soo much and..." You froze mid sentence, catching the words you were soo afraid to say to him.

"And what?" Severus' voice was quiet and shaky, filled with pain and almost sounding like a choked sob. You only sighed, your mind catching up with what you had said and what you nearly said just then. You had to finish, there was no way round it. Either you say it, or risk Severus reading your mind anyway.

Tears pricked your eyes as you took a shaky breath, this next sentence could ruin your whole unique friendship, just like that. "You are loved. By soo many. And by soo much... And.. And by no one more than me" Your throat became incredibly dry at the last word. Tears welled in your eyes as Severus turned his head to you. You suddenly let go of his arm and faced the other way, eyes trained on the door.

This time it was Severus who cautiously reached an arm up, before wanting to retract it back, his arm betraying him and resting delicately on your forearm causing you to suddenly whip round, look down at his hand on your arm then up to his face which was filled with sadness and regret, regret for the bitter words he said about himself. 

Severus' head lowered painfully slowly on it's own accord. His eyes trailing down to your lips before settling on your eyes.

"Did you mean it?" He almost choked out, voice quieter and more tender than a whisper.

"Every word of it." Your own head shifting up to meet his gaze too. Your noses brushing lightly before your lips connected in a tender kiss. Severus broke away, a shocked but flushed look plastered across his face, looking like he was on the verge of a panicked bolt if he had the time to think about what just happened. Instead your hand reached up and gingerly cupped his cheek and leant in again, Severus fully letting his walls down and going in for a deeper kiss, one hand taking your cheek, the other hand resting on the small of your back, pulling you in closer to him, your other hand resting palm down on his chest.

You both broke away from the kiss wanting to get your breath back a bit. The two of you just stood there in each others arms. Your arms had shifted so that you had tucked both arms in between you both and that your forearms and hands were resting on his chest while he held you close, his arms wrapped around your waist, neither one of you wanting to move from this moment. 

"You are loved, Severus."

"I see that now." Severus replied placing a kiss on the top of your head and you snuggled into his chest even more.