‘You take it.’
‘No, you take it.’
‘No, you take it.’
‘For fuck sake, it is a pie, just share it, you morons,’ Draco growled at his two companions who had been arguing about who would get to eat the last pie for the last ten minutes.
‘Oh,’ they both looked at bit sheepish at their companion.
‘Good idea, Draco,’ Greg said as he and Vinnie each started to eat from opposite sides of the pie.
Before Draco had the chance to say that he meant that they could cut the pie in half, his two friends had made quite a dent into their pumpkin pie.
Draco’s face went through a series of rapid cartoon-like expressions.
He went from raising his eyebrows in disbelief, to wide-eyed ‘Sweet Salazar, I do not belief what I am seeing’, to looking around the compartment for a place to hide and, in the absence of a hiding place, burying his face in his hands, peeking through his fingers to make sure that he was actually seeing this.
He had been expecting the two boys to jump back in horror when they reached the midway part of the pie and realise how close their lips were, but instead they continued to devour the pie until they had licked the last crumb off each other’s lips, as if this was the most natural thing in the world.
Draco was dumbfounded, but didn’t get a chance to think too much about it, as at that moment the Hogwarts Express trundled into Hogsmeade station.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It was a few months later, on one of the regular Hogsmeade weekends, that Greg and Vinnie again found themselves with the dilemma of there only being one pie.
‘Guess we just have to share it,’ Vinnie grinned and Greg agreed.
This time is was not just Draco, but half of their dorm witnessing the shared pie-eating with growing fascination.
‘They are going to stop at some stage, are they?’ Theo whispered to Draco.
‘They didn’t the last time,’ Draco shrugged.
‘Interesting eating habit,’ Blaise grinned.
When they came to the part where they were shamelessly licking the last crumbs from each other’s lips, the rest of the Slytherins were doing their very best to look elsewhere.
‘Holy Fuck, do they know what they are doing?’ Theo gasped, looking bewildered at Draco.
‘Nope, they think they are sharing a pie.’
‘Sweet Salazar, that was the hottest make out session I have ever been party to and you say that that is not what they are doing?’ Blaise asked, fanning himself after witnessing the scene in front of him.
‘Nope, they are just sharing a pie,’ Draco repeated.
‘It’s Vinnie and Greg,’ he shrugged as if that explained everything.
‘And you have seen them do this before?’
‘Unfortunately, yes, and I think I may have inadvertently suggested it.’
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Some weeks later, they were having their usual dinner in the Great Hall at the Slytherin table and there was a pie left over after dinner, because Pansy was on a diet. Vinnie and Greg offered to take the offending piece of pie off her. They told her they would be happy to share it.
Much to their surprise, Theo, Blaise and Draco shouted ‘No’ to that suggestion in unison.
‘But Pansy said she did not want her piece of pie,’ Vinnie said confused.
‘Yes, why can’t we share her piece of pie?’ Greg asked, equally confused.
Theo, Draco and Blaise looked at each other.
‘Just take the pie with you to the common room and we will explain it to you,’ Theo said.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
‘You can’t share a pie like that in public,’ Draco explained to Vinnie and Greg, when they had gathered in their dorm.
‘Why not, we have done it before,’ Vinnie said.
‘In fact, you were the one who suggested it,’ Greg continued.
‘I suggested to share the pie. I thought you would cut it in half and eat half a pie each.’
‘The way we do it is much easier,’ Vinnie muttered, ‘and much more fun,’ he added with a grin.
‘So this is all about table manners? Do not eat with your fingers. Use a knife and fork and all that stuff. Jeez, Draco, I get enough of that from my mother,’ Greg grumbled.
Draco threw his arms up in exasperation.
‘They don’t get it, ‘ he said to Theo and Blaise.
‘It is not about etiquette, or at least not about table manners,’ Blaise said.
‘Maybe we should just show them,’ Theo suggested, as he took the pie.
‘Draco, will you do me the honour?’ he said, as he presented the pie to Draco with an exaggerated bow.
With a sigh, Draco took the pie and sat in front of Theo and they proceeded to eat the pie from opposite ends. When they got to the licking of the lips part, Blaise was finding it exceedingly difficult to keep his composure, but Vinnie and Greg still looked uncomprehending, so Theo and Draco were left with no choice but to take it one step further and started to make out in earnest in front of them.
‘Oh, sweet Salazar, is that what you think we were doing?’ Vinnie and Greg screamed appalled that their friends would think such a thing.
‘No, I told them you were just eating pie,’ Draco said, wiping the last crumbs off his face, ‘But you can see how that would look to someone who does not know you as well as I do and it certainly would not look good if you were to do this in the Great Hall in front of the whole school and the teachers. Apart from that, feel free to share your pie any way you like, but maybe consider cutting the pie in half when you are in public.’
Vinnie and Greg looked quite upset after their little demonstration.
‘Hey, don’t worry about it, guys, we are fine with whatever you want to do, we just did not want you to get into trouble over it,’ Blaise said consolingly.
‘We know,’ Vinnie and Greg said morosely, ‘but did you have to eat our pie.’