family line
Barty is bold
Evan is italics
Regulus is normal
---
Sunday AM
[7:32] I love you
Can you let me in, please?
[read 7:33 am]
[9:18] Barty?
I’m always here for you, okay? Whenever you’re ready to talk, just let me know. I’ll be home all day
[read 9:19 am]
[11:27] Barty, I’m not mad
No one is
We’re all rather worried about you, actually
Can you please let someone in?
[read 11:30 am]
---
Sunday PM
[1:06] I’ve made lunch, it’s just toasties but I’ll leave a couple out the front of your room, yeah?
Please eat something.
[read 1:06 pm]
[2:38] James is here
He’s worried about you
[read 2:38 pm]
[5:19] We’ll be in my room, watching movies all night
Please don’t hesitate to come see us, okay?
Or even if you just want to talk to one of us, just let us know
Or even if you just want to text
[5:20] We will be right here for you
All night.
We love you.
[read 5:21 pm]
[5:56] didn’t you guys have a date planned tonight?
[5:56] We cancelled
You’re more important that that
We can go another night
[5:57] please don’t cancel because of me
really, i’m okay
go on your date regulus
[5:58] Absolutely not.
You’re my friend, a really fucking important one
And you’re upset, so I would be an absolute dickhead to leave you on your own
You are my best friend Barty, always
[5:59] And I know we never do the mushy stuff but I’m genuinely considering it because we both need to hear it more
I love you.
I will always be here for you.
Whether you want to be with someone or even alone right now, doesn’t matter.
[6:00] I just want you to know that I am right here, and I’m never going anywhere.
If you want to talk, or cry, or hug, or watch a movie, or just sit in silence, or even just sleep.
I am right here and that will never change.
[read 6:02 pm]
[7:01] Hi Barty, James here. We love you. Truly, you’re such an important person in both our lives. We wouldn’t be here without you. WHENEVER you’re ready, we will be right here, ready for you. Always.
[read 7:01 pm]
[8:15] Dinner has been made, please eat it. Since you didn’t eat lunch
We love you.
[read 8:15 pm]
---
Monday AM
[3:02] hi.
are you guys awake?
[3:02] I am, James fell asleep during the first Hunger Games Movie
[3:03] why are you not asleep too then?
[3:03] I wanted to stay awake just in case you needed me, or if you wanted to talk
[3:03] oh.
[3:04] Yeah.
[3:10] Did you want to talk?
[3:10] not yet, if that’s okay
i did actually want to ask if i could come sit with you for a while
but james is asleep and i don’t want to impose
[3:11] and i don’t want you to leave james alone while he sleeps
and we all won’t fit into your bed
it doesn’t matter
i’m just rambling
[3:12] sorry
[3:13] Don’t you dare apologise
Of course, you can come sit for a bit, you know that we can all fit into my bed
Or if you don’t want James there, we can just sit in your room
Or even if you don’t want me there, I don’t mind sleeping in your bed
[3:14] As James said, it’s whatever you want Barty
We love you, and will do anything to make sure you’re okay
[3:15] oh
thank you
i love you guys too
[3:16] sorry that i haven’t been a very good friend
[3:17] Stop it, you’re going through something, no one expects anything from you.
And if they do, they can come fight me.
[3:18] thank you
can i come sit with you for a bit, and watch a movie?
[3:19] Come for as long as you want <3
---
[8:10] hi
[8:15] oh
hello
[8:17] i’m sorry
[8:20] I honestly don’t know what to say
we have only known each other for a week, it’s not really fair of me to say that it hurt
regardless of if it did or not
[8:22] your feelings are always valid.
and if i hurt you, you can say that
i really am sorry
[8:23] maybe we can push the whole ‘feelings’ talk to the side for a moment?
something was obviously going on
so firstly, are you okay?
[8:24] oh
[8:24] what?
[8:25] i don’t know
for some reason i thought your first question would be ‘what happened’
[8:26] it’s your life, and something that happened to YOU
it’s not up to me, for you to tell me what happened
that’s YOUR decision to make, whenever you’re comfortable to make it
[8:27] anything you decide, is completely valid
[read 8:29 am]
[8:38] Barty?
[8:40] sorry, i’m here
[8:40] everything alright?
[8:41] yeah, for the moment
just some of the things you’re saying
[8:42] oh, I’m sorry
have I said something wrong?
[8:43] no
no
you haven’t at all
it’s all good, i promise
[8:44] i just didn’t exactly grow up in a loving home
so, someone telling me that my feelings are valid is an entirely new concept to me
[8:45] fuck anyone and everyone who has ever made you feel like ANYTHING you’ve ever felt isn’t 100% valid
you are a person; you are allowed to have your own feelings and thoughts without someone belittling you
[8:47] thank you.
it means a lot to hear that
[8:48] you’re welcome
when ever you need to hear it, or even if you just want a reminder, I’ll be right here :)
[8:50] ALRIGHT
this is far too much emotion for this early on a monday morning
[8:50] it’s literally 9 am.
[8:51] exactly
much too early
so instead, we’re going to talk about something else instead
[8:51] like what?
[8:52] well firstly, do you have any classes today?
[8:53] I do actually, at 3
so, you’re stuck with me until then
[8:54] brilliant
you’ll never guess what regulus did
[8:55] put his clothes in the wash?
[8:56] funny
you give that man too much credit
no, he did not in fact but his clothes in the wash
[8:57] INSTEAD, his clothes (and james’) were fucking trailing from the front door to his room
[8:58] oh god
[9:00] OH GOD INDEED
not only that, but they obviously weren’t expecting me home anytime soon
so, they didn’t have any fucking music playing
[9:01] all i could hear was the bang of the headboard
and james moaning
which is not what i wanted
[9:02] of course not
please tell me you just walked back outside and let them be
[9:03] wow, you really don’t know me at all do you?
i did not leave them alone
instead, i went up to the door, waited for a quiet moment
[9:04] then fucking banged on it as hard as possible
[9:05] oh no
[9:06] oh yes.
regulus’ scream was so fucking worth it
there was also a bang sound that confused me but i was too busy laughing to figure it out
[9:07] (i was later told that the bang had shocked james so much that he threw regulus off him and off the bed entirely)
[9:08] OH GOD
POOR JAMES
[9:09] uh excuse you
i’ll have you know that james is extremely athletic so once he gotten over the shock and put his clothes on, he spent 45 minutes chasing me around the fucking block
it needs to be noted that i don’t have an athletic bone in my fucking body and sprinting HURTS
[9:10] you definitely deserved that
[9:10] yeah, i know
[9:10] did he catch you?
[9:11] he didn’t
but when i went home, the bastards had locked the doors on me
so, i had to climb the fence and pull myself up from the balcony to get back inside
[read 9:12 am]
[9:24] you’re laughing at me, aren’t you?
[9:25] yes.
[9:26] so mean
---
Monday PM
[10:10] hey Barty?
[10:11] yeah?
[10:12] the reason that you disappeared the other day, is it fixed now?
[10:13] not really
[10:13] oh
I’m sorry
[10:14] don’t be
you’re actually helping
a lot
[10:15] oh, I’m glad then
[10:16] me too
[10:17] goodnight, Barty
[10:17] night, sweetheart.
---
Wednesday PM
[2:15] BARTY
[2:19] woah, hello you
how’s it going?
[2:20] Barty
BARTY
B A R T Y
[2:22] that’s me
you know, you’re lucky i’m not beetlejuice or you would’ve summoned me
[2:23] barty!
[2:24] hmm, lovely weather we’re having today, isn’t it?
unlike the rain from yesterday
[2:26] b a r t y.
[2:27] did i tell you that regulus got caught out in the rain yesterday?
don’t tell him this, but i thought he looked like a wet dog
[2:28] B A R T Y
[2:30] yes, yes alright
E V A N
what’s going on?
[2:31] SNAPE GOT FIRED
[2:32] what
[2:33] remember the homophobic professor?
well, the bastard got fucking fired!
[2:34] HELL YES
THAT’S A WIN
FUCK THE HOMOPHOBES
[2:35] FUCK THE HOMOPHOBES
god, the bastard really fucking deserved it
he really was a spiteful cunt
[2:36] woah
[2:37] sorry
I’m not usually much of a swearer
he was just so horrible and I’m SO glad he’s fucking gone
[2:38] i don’t blame you
i’ve never even met the guy and i already hate him
[2:40] I’m glad you’ve never met him.
[2:40] aw, how sweet
[2:41] don’t get used to it
I’m just really fucking happy right now
[2:42] you should be
no one should ever be told that they can’t love whoever they want
[2:43] exactly
he was so horrible
[2:45] I actually failed his class last semester
[2:48] really?
[2:50] yeah, he got so horrible that I just refused to go anymore
it was never ‘specifically’ about me, but whenever he would say something homophobic, he would look right at me
[2:51] what the fuck
what an asshole
[2:52] yeah
he’s the reason I started up therapy again
so, I guess something good came out of it
[2:53] mmm
we’re not giving him credit for that though, that was all you
he doesn’t get any credit for you happiness
[2:54] he doesn’t deserve that
[2:55] repeat after me
i deserve to be happy
[2:56] this is stupid.
[2:56] REPEAT AFTER ME
i deserve to be happy
[3:00] I deserve to be happy.
[3:01] no one is in control of my happiness but me
[3:02] no one is in control of my happiness, but me
[3:02] things can’t affect me if i don’t let them
[3:03] things can’t affect me if I don’t let them
[3:04] barty is the best
[3:04] Barty has an oversized ego.
[3:05] ouch, words hurt
[3:06] please, nothing could hurt that ego
I’ve seen countries smaller than it.
[3:06] so mean
[3:07] yeah, but I’m starting to think you like it
[read 3:10 pm]
[3:18] i already know you’re laughing at me.
go study or something
[3:19] I’m still laughing.
[3:20] hope you know i’m flipping you off behind the screen.
---
Friday AM
[1:01] hey evan?
[1:41] sorry, hi
[1:45] shit, were you asleep?
[1:46] yeah, but it’s alright
[1:47] i’m sorry
[1:48] don’t be, I don’t mind been woken up if it’s to talk to you
[1:49] oh
[1:50] yeah
what’s up?
[1:53] remember how i went awol last week?
[1:55] yeah?
[1:56] i wanted to explain myself to you
[1:57] oh
you don’t have to do that
I’ve already told you, it’s your life
you don’t owe anyone anything
[1:58] whenever you’re ready to talk about it (and not a moment before) I’ll be here for you
[2:00] thank you
but i think I’m ready to talk about it now.
[2:03] are you sure?
[2:04] yeah, i kind of need to
but
nevermind
[2:05] but?
[2:06] i was wondering if we could call instead?
i think it would be easier
but if you’re not comfortable with it
[2:07] it’s all good
[2:08] Barty
[2:08] yes?
[2:09] a phone call is fine, especially if it makes you more comfortable
[2:10] oh, okay
[incoming call: sweetheart]
[accept] [decline]
“Hi.”
“Hello.”
“…”
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, it’s only just occurred to me that we’re actually talking and that you’re a real person.”
“Have I not always been a real person?”
“Well, you have, but there was some small part of me that kind of assumed that you were just Regulus playing a prank on me.”
“That sounds like a very elaborate and very cruel prank, I’m not sure that’s something he’d do.”
“You have a point.”
“I usually do when I’m talking.”
“Humility, that’s a new you for you.”
“Funny, real comedian.”
“…”
“…”
“So, I guess I better get on with it then.”
“As I always say, this is your story. Don’t force yourself to say anything before you’re ready too.”
“Thank you, I needed that.”
“Sorry, it’s not something I’ve actually spoken about yet, so I’m scared to say it out loud.”
“Did you want to talk about something else until you’re ready?”
“Yeah, that might help.”
“Okay, well the floors all yours, then.”
“How the fuck did you know I was lying on the floor?”
“Sorry- what?”
“I’m literally lying on the floor as we speak, how the fuck did you guess that?”
“Barty, it’s an expression? It’s like telling someone that it’s their turn on the stage.”
“Oh, that makes so much more sense. I thought i’d accidently pressed video call instead, I was so confused.”
“You’re an idiot, I hope you know that.”
“Yeah, trust me, I’m well aware.”
“Anyway… I am sorry, by the way, for disappearing on you, it wasn’t fair.”
“Barty, it’s okay, you had your reasons and you’ve apologised, I promise you that I have no hard feelings about it.”
“Well, thank you then.”
“…”
“I don’t really know where to start, so I’ll just give a quick summary, I guess.”
“Do whatever you think will be easiest for you.”
“I was kicked out when I was seventeen.”
“Oh, Barty, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, it was the second-best thing that has happened to me. The first being meeting you of course.”
“You’re stalling.”
“My Father is a horrible man, very cruel. Never in public though, always had to keep up the Crouch family image. He was abusive both emotionally and physically-”
“That’s horrible, truly. I’m so sorry that he was like that.”
“Please don’t apologise, it’s in no way your fault nor is there anything you can do about it.”
“Anyway, my Mother would never agree with how he treated me, but she’d never stop him either. At least, I thought not. Until I was fifteen, I had gone downstairs to get a drink and my parents were standing in the kitchen, arguing. My Father was screaming at my Mother about how she was too soft on me, and she just took it. She didn’t argue back, didn’t even flinch. She just let him scream at her. I had no idea how long he’d been screaming at her, I don’t even think it was the first time that he’d doe that, but that was when I started realising that perhaps my Mother was doing the best she could to help me.”
“Barty, fuck. That’s so fucking awful.”
“The night after my sixteen birthday was the first time I saw him hit her. She had gone all out for it, friends, family, a three-tier cake. Absolutely spoiled me. My Father was supposed to be away all weekend, so he wasn’t going to find out. It was all perfect.”
“He came home early, didn’t he?”
“He did. Mid-party. He let the party go on, but my Mother was so tense afterwards that no one was excited. I remember so many family members asking her- asking both of us- if we were okay. Just offered for us to stay and to help us leave him. But never once did she accept. I always thought it was because she loved him, but that night I heard him threaten her that he’d kill us both if we ever left. That’s the first time I realised it was so much worse than I thought.”
“I didn’t want to leave her in that fucking house. I fucking hated it in there, I hated him. I tried so hard to take the pressure off of her. Standing up to my Father so my Mother wouldn’t have to take the brunt of his hits. It worked, for a while. But one day, I just snapped. He was screaming at her, and I knew from the look on his face that he was about to swing, so I did the first thing I could think of, I hit him first.”
“Good. Barty he fucking deserve it. He was a fucking horrible person and-”
“He killed her. I think at least. He fucking called me, last week. That’s why I stopped talking. Because he called me and said that she was dead and that I was invited to her funeral and wasn’t allowed to say goodbye. I was only allowed to go to her will reading with a Lawyer.”
“Jesus Christ, Barty that’s- I don’t even know what to say. That’s true fucking awful and I don’t blame you for needing some time to yourself. Holy shit.”
“I’d be alright, it’s not like I’ve seen her in six years anyway.”
“That doesn’t make it hurt less.”
“I know, but for right now, I think I’m okay. I miss her, truly, but I knew that leaving her in that house would eventually kill her. But I refuse to blame myself, I tried so so heard to get her out, but she never came with me. I tried and she didn’t want to leave. That is not my fault.”
“Of course it’s fucking not. And fuck your Father and anyone else who tries to convince you otherwise.”
“Thank you.”
“Is there anything that I can do to help you?”
“Tomorrow maybe? I’ve never actually talked about it, and I think my emotions are fucking with my head a little more than I care to admit.”
“Oh, yes, right. I’ll let you sleep then.”
“Actually, can we stay on the phone. Just for tonight?”
“Of course.”
“I’m really glad I texted the wrong number, Evan.”
“Me too.”