Arguments
Harry had never experienced such quiet meals.
Even with the Dursleys. It wasn’t uncommon for Harry to remain quiet during dinner with the Dursleys. But his aunt and Uncle would always have something to say to each other. For a long time Dudley would participate but since his mother had placed the television in his vision’s field, the boy was as silent as a dead body. Apparently those shows seemed to do something extraordinary to this youth’s brain.
So Harry, uninterested in most of what his cousin watches, would listen to the adults and Harry always finds them interesting in some ways. Not necessarily smart of course, we were talking about the Dursleys, but… socially interesting…
Eating with Snape, on the other hand, was dreadful to say the least.
The man was more boring than Dudley’s shows. The first night Harry stayed a long while wandering in his bed. Was it more interesting to eat alone in his bed and by so inevitably staining the sheets. Or enchanting the single chair into a low table for them to eat, together, but comfortably.
In the end, Harry had chosen the last option. First for his poor sheets, and second because Dumbeldore had asked them to get along. Eating together would be kind of an obligation to learn about each other right?
So Harry had transfigured the poor chair into a plain wood low table just beside their beds, silently inviting the man to come eat with him. Surprisingly Snape came sitting on the floor in front of Harry.
But never opened once his mouth.
The silence was so deep and heavy that Harry could almost hear 2 flies having a marital dispute… yes they were deep within the earth and by so, couldn't have the company of insects. But Harry was so bored that hearing two flies bickering didn’t really seem that insane.
Living in this place, even if it only had been a couple of days, was obnoxious enough. At first Harry didn’t think much of it. How could it be any different from simply being locked up in an apartment?
Well it was, in a lot of ways.
First even with their fake window showing the view of the park of Hogwarts, and as well as she was made, they could tell it was fake. They didn’t really understand how they could see the difference with real light, but it felt weird.
Second the lack of sound, there was nothing except from their breath, movements and very few words. Sometimes there were sounds on the walls, but nothing to be happy about, it was things Harry had never heard before, and it was quite frightening. Those were loud, deep, sometimes heavy thombs around them. Snape had explained it probably was the constant moving of the earth. And yeah, it made sense but Harry still didn’t like it. Harry felt trapped and the sounds echoing in the tiny place, sound trapped as well.
With a simple wave of his hand Snape cleaned up his plate and placed it in the clean dishes compartment of the wardrobe.
Again a whole meal in silence.
The door of the bathroom, the only other room of the place, closed behind the man. His long painfull sighs echoed around him as the silencing charm ended to cover the walls.
Severus never felt so tired than right now. Ok he got a left arm recovering from a very ugly curse, full of spells, and even with the painkillers given by Poppy, his nights were really not the best he could have. But it definitely wasn’t the only reason why his energy was burned down so quickly.
Because, of course, not having to maintain his cover in front of Potter anymore was a nice thing, but overall his behavior didn’t really change that much. His… conflicted feelings for the brat hadn’t been made up for his cover. It was real. And being locked up with him stopped him from really resting.
Leaving his robes with a flick of his wrist, he let it flow magicly on the hook on the door. When uselly the man not really use his magic for idiotic things like moving object or basicly domestic task, his left arm painfully hanging on his scarf stopped him from trying anything by himself. It was impressive how, sometimes, even moving his valid arm would hurt so bad. Thank god he had magic, because asking Potter to help him in anything would probably give him a fatal attack of hives.
With a new flick of his wrist his shirt left his body to go into the dirty clothes basket. His now naked arm got undressed of all its bandages to quickly be wrapped around a waterproof spell.
His arm looked much better than before, no more ugly yellowish swelling, no more dark curse crawling under his skin. But all his big chunks of missing flesh weren't back yet. There were still red bloody holes in his arm. The skin, red, puffy and very sensitive, never resting to remind him of his abused limb.
It was a pain to be here, Severus hated every second of it.
But he couldn't blame Albus. Because when Severus arrived with his injured arm in his office, Severus thought himself dead. He knew very much the man didn’t have the beginning of a plan of how to get the mark away from his arm, even more find something in the 6 hours he had at the time.
The first thing Severus had thought to save his life was to cut off his arm, making the problem disappear. But the man didn’t need to think very much to see how useless this plan was. The curse wasn’t only on his arm, it was on his blood, his flesh, his very body.
When Albus started talking about Minerva gone to fetch someone, he first thought of Bill Weasley, because who apart from a curse breaker the man could’ve called?
But even with Bill Weasley with them, the problem was still the same. How could this, overall quite bright, man find a counter curse to such monstrosity in 6 very short hours?
But no, it wasn’t Bill Weasley that Albus had called. Even with the obvious magical tension relief the brat brings with his magic, Severus still cursed very loudly in his mind. Totally lost and, if he got to be honest, scared.
It was a crazy plan that the man came up with, an insane plan.
But deadly efficient. If anything Severus was impressed by how well it works. It made total sense why they were just the two of them in here, and why Potter must be the one with him. The logic behind the man’s thinking was unbeatable.
But it didn’t stop Severus from being very pissed by the situation.
After his fuming hot shower, the man left the shower cage, his back, shoulders and thighs redden by the water. Now was the time to take care of his arm. His towel around his waist he quickly attached his dripping wet hair around a rubber band and called to him the medical kit below the sink.
Severus wasn’t dumb, he knew, even though he always ignore thoses thoughts, that his hate for the kid was irational. Potter was taking all the hate the man had kept all these years for his father. The man died when the brat was only one, it’s not like Potter senior had any time to influence the child to look like him. And Severus was the last person to actually believe in the whole ‘like father like child’ idiocy.
But Severus couldn't stop himself from seeing every little thing in Potter’s behavior that looked even a tiny bit like his father. Most didn’t make sense really. Like how the brat wears his school robes, it’s not like Potter had signed his name on the way to wear a school Uniform. But Severus hated it.
Potter was so good at looking miserable, like every bad omen in the world was for him. The kid had not the most perfect life, Severus couldn’t say that, but he still got a happy one. If wasn’t fair for him to always look so vulnerable, so hurt, when people had gone through way worse.
That was probably what stopped Severus from looking at the kid more than 5 minutes before cursing at the kid.
He knew as an adult he was supposed to know how to control his emotion, appear neutral in front of kids. But it had been long since the man had been seen as fair and likeable. He knew everyone hated him, and by now he just didn’t care anymore.
He spelled the bandage to gently place itself around his treated arm, Severus took a deep breath as the cooling effect of his treatment started to spread along his wound.
Bumping by accident against Severus, Harry apologized almost immediately. ‘Sorry sir it’s very narrow isn’t it…’ But Harry didn’t have time to finish so his teacher started to grunt. ‘You can’t even be careful now are you Potter??!’ Frowning by the sudden aggressivity coming from his teacher, he felt himself blush from embarrassment. ‘I apologize sir!! Besides, I bump your right side! You can’t be polite for one second are you Snape?!’
Snape's face started to twist itself into a very ugly angry expression. Harry had finally snapped back after 9 days of leaving with a grumpy, cold, and very unfriendly man in a barely 13 square metre.
‘You, insolent! You may have forgotten you and your idiotic brain, but I’m your teacher mister Potter!! You’ll have to show me more respect.’ It was weird how the man’s voice echoed in the tiny place. Somehow it felt even more annoying to the ear. ‘I don’t know if you remember you and your tight ass brain, but professor Dumbeldore precisely said to you. You’re not his teacher during holidays .’ His arm still stuck in his scarf Severus clenched his fist sending a quite violent burst of pain in his limb. ‘And that it wasn't a reason for you to be insolent, Potter!!’
‘I wouldn't be if you would try, even a little bit, to be more friendly. I don’t know if you have noticed but I’m trying here!! I’m always trying to start a conversation, and I always end up being rejected in the most unpleasant way. I’m trying to be nice there!!!’ Severus then let out a cold bitter laugh. ‘You’re only trying because Dumbeldore asked us to.’ But Harry didn't let his words get to him and gave the man a determined face. ‘Yes and? Is there anything wrong with that? But you know what, if you want to keep being a prick I won't stop you.’ His hand on the handle of the bathroom door Harry opened it and got in the room. ‘Stay alone in your sad pathetic life, it’s not like I care!!!!’ CLACK!!! The door violently closed on Severus' nose leaving him ready to burst but knew fairly well the brat had plaster the door of isolating charms.
It was after this incident that the two completely lost patience with each other. Harry wasn’t trying to be nice anymore, responding energetically to each of Snape’s provocations. And really Harry was ready to deal with a physically violent Snape, all his protecting spells ready to be used, he was on his guard. But Snape never shows those kinds of angry bursts of violence. Weirdly enough the man never raised his fist nor punched anything. As violent as their arguments might be, Snape seemed to feel just fine with using his tongue to cause damage. ‘I won’t help you with your assignement, don’t ever dream about it.’ Harry scoffed, eating his mashed potato quietly.
‘Like you would help me with anything.’ Only silence answer him as Severus take a sip of his water apparently thinking hard. ‘Bored sir?’ The sharp clack of the glass against the wood of the table gave a smile to Harry. ‘Shut up’. The man was searching for a subject to fight on, probably because he was bored. It always happens whenever one of them starts to be bored, angry or in any kind of pain, and starts an argument. Both understood that and in a way, liked it. Harry wasn’t sure but he figured the man still sat with him to eat because of that. So they could face each other and start throwing harsh comments. It was pretty much the ‘funny time’ of the day. Who would think arguments could be of any fun.
Dear Sirius,
I don't really know what to write. It was Hermione’s idea to start this, apparently it could help me ‘give my thoughts some air’ whatever that means.
So… I guess I'll have to talk about whatever might come across my mind, yeah?
So, right now I’m locked up for my security with none other than SEVERUS DAMN SNAPE!!! (I'm pretty sure he got a middle name but I can’t remember.) Can you believe that? I’m sure you, mom and dad are turning in your graves.
If you ever wondered, yes he is hard to live with, his tongue is as sharp as ever, but I guess by now it doesn’t really hurt. I mean after all this time it’s not that I care, you know. It’s Snape, who cares what I might think?
The good point in this, is that I don’t have any chores to do and I can use my magic. And really with how bored I am it’s not too much. I never played so much with lightning spells. And I can isolate myself behind my curtains. The man has at least the decency to never come picking at me when they're closed.
At first I thought it would just be a nightmare to be with him, that he could destroy my personal accommodating spell whenever he wants. Because I'm not gonna lie, they are really wombly. It's a wonder they stay in place. I’m pretty sure I sensed him reinforcing some, but I might have dreamt that though. Anyway we argue a lot, whenever we see each other actually. But other than that I feel that he wouldn’t step my boundaries.
Does that make sense?
Probably not.
…I Miss you Sirius…
Yours
Harry.
Laying on his bed with his curtains wide open Harry stayed silent fixing the sailing and listening to the sound of Snape’s pen against the parchment. Little bubbles of light were flying above his head illuminating his skin with all kinds of colors.
‘I’ve noticed your hair hasn’t been that greasy lately. You don’t have a shower at hogwart?’ Yeah he didn’t have anything better. Actually he had kept that one for later. Because really he kinda felt bad about it, attacking someone on their appearance was just mean.
But he was bored. ‘I’m working right now Potter.’ Harry’s long and painful sigh filled the place. Apparently Snape didn’t have any time for him right now. Shame.
With a lazy energy Harry seated on his bed so he could see Snape back of head while the man worked on the desk. ‘Your arm seems to be fine these days?’ That was the main reason why the man came to him for fights, pain. But these past few days Snape was quiet. Under Harry’s bored tired glare the man got straight in his seat with a sigh. ‘Not used to not having attention, Potter, hey?’ Harry let a satisfied smile take place on his lips as the man turned to face him. ‘Ha?! No, I'm totally used to it, I’m only trying to show interest in my dear professor, that’s all.’
Snape let out an unimpressed laugh, one of his most enerving facial expressions stuck on his pale face. ‘Come on Potter don’t give me the poor unloved and mistreated act, please! That won’t work on me.’ Frowning on his bed Harry gave him a look. ‘Why are you always saying this?? I’m not trying to look pitifull you know.’ The man scoff knowing fair well he just hit a row nerve as Harry’s arm muscle twitch. ‘Yeah right, it’s not like you are constantly calling for validation like you never had any before. I know the look you’re giving Potter, and it’s enerving when everyone knows you had quite a decent life.’
Harry wasn’t amused at all by the conversation now, and his clench jow was a very clear sign of it. ‘Who said I have a decent life?’ Snape brows made a weird movement and the man now fully turn to Harry. ‘Everyone Potter, everyone knows how you're loved and it’s time you got off your pedestal.’ Somehow Severus felt uneasy with his mouth. But he still continued. ‘We all know you are the golden boy, cherished and preserved. I can conscide that these past few years weren’t to the top for you but overall you are not to be pitied. It’s disrespectful for everyone who has suffered in this world how you always try to have affection and appear to be sad all the time!’
Playing violently with his hands Harry didn’t look at Snape for a long moment.
‘You know Snape, sometimes I wonder why you’re such a dickhead.’ ‘You!!’ But the man didn’t had time to say anything else than the boy looked him straight in the eyes. ‘You all assumed my life was wonderful. You all saw me as a glowing, perfect boy, when nobody actually asked me if i was ok! Nobody!! Yeah those past few years where shit, I’ve seen Cedric and Sirius die in front of my eyes and I know I'll never stop dreaming about it! I’ve fought Voldemort way too many times to be healthy and comed close to death as many times. But you know what, as horrible as it was, my years at Hogwarts were by far the happiest.’
Severus couldn't open his mouth and as he watched the tears falling down the boy’s cheeks, his chest started hurting in a very familiar way.
‘Do you know how it feels to sleep in a cupboard under the stairs?? Always being called ‘boy’ ‘the monster’ or even ‘useless child’ by your own relatives. Being bullied at school by your cousin and his idiotic friends just because his parents said it was fine to punch, hurt or humiliate him. And when you go to your teacher for some help because your leg is twisted in a very unnatural way, they only give you a disgusted look and a headache pill. All because your aunt said to them ‘Don’t bother this child is a lunatic, he is such a monster at home you’ve got no idea’.’ Stopping in his word to take a breath again and trying his best to regain his composure, Harry cleared the tears off his face with his hands. ‘The first person who ever showed me warmth was a half giant who appeared very frightightly in the middle of the night to tell me I was a wizard.
Getting off my pedestal? People forced me on it and kept everything that could get me off it, miles away from me.’
With frustrated sighs Harry buried himself in his hands, swearing. ‘I don’t know why I'm even saying this, it’s not like you’re gonna believe me right?! Sorry for bothering you in your work sir!’
The curtains closing magicly around the boy’s bed felt like a slap on Severus' face, the silence around him heavy and cold seemed to choke him. The boy’s words going around and around his mind painfully showing how much he had been wrong. Why he had felt so weird in his words all along.
But how was he supposed to know all this!?
He shut down his anger.
Of all people, HE should have seen it. Because he knew how it felt to feel like shit in your own house, feel unloved and not welcome.
He knew.
But he still had shut down his doubt to bury himself in his hate. The shadow of his father constantly nagging him, insulting him by just existing.
All this time all Severus had done was searching excuses for the signs the boy gave him. He was responding? Probably because he loved to conforte authority like his father. He always puts himself in danger? Probably because he likes to show himself to the world and scream to everyone that he was the best, just like his father.
With long and painful sighs Severus gives a look to the closed curtains unmoving in front of him.
He too wondered why he was such a dickhead.
Dear Sirius,
I hate him so fucking much!!
Yours
Harry.
OoO
They didn’t talk for 3 very unpleasant days. The boy, trying his best to have as little contact with his teacher as possible. He didn’t bother to eat outside his bed, only opening his curtains and spells to go take a shower, if it wasn't for his magic floating around the place, Severus could forget the boy was there.
He should be grateful for so much peace.
A pop nearly gave a heart attack to Severus as Dobby appeared in the room. ‘Mister Snape Sir, Hello!?’ Grabbing his chest waiting for his heartbeat to calm down a bit he sighs. ‘Hello to you too, Dobby.’ Looking around, the house elf's ears twitch. ‘Where is Mister Harry Potter Sir, Sir?’ He asks, his obsession for the boy still very much present. ‘Right here Dobby.’ Severus didn’t really understand why he looked away when Potter appeared in between his curtain.
A silence took place between the 3 magical beings, Dobby seeing and sensing very well the discomfort between them. Obviously not very at ease Dobby twirled his cleaned shirt before talking.
‘Dobby is sorry to say so Mister Harry Potter Sir, but the Dursleys went missing.’