New Discoveries
6th year at Hogwarts is already of to a bad start.
The second Lily got on that bloody train she came face to face with Snape, her ex best friend, also the boy who tried to meetup with Lily all summer to the point that she had to put up wards at her house to keep him away.
Lily just rushed past him, trying to ignore how he is saying her name and trying to catch up with her.
She was so caught up in getting away from Snape that she rammed straight into someone who caught her before she fell.
Lily was about to apologize to whoever it was when she saw a scar on the boys hand who caught her and she realized who exactly it was she just ran into.
“Remus! Hello, how have you been this summer?” Lily asks as she pulls herself up while dragging Remus to their train compartment.
As soon as they get in the compartment Lily feels like she is able to breath again.
“I am doing pretty good actually Lils!” Remus responded to her while going to sit down by the window. He obviously wants to ask what was up with her but he didn’t want to come off as rude.
“Thats nice Remus,” Lily starts, ready to explain her actions, “I’m sorry for dragging you away like that, it’s just i saw Snape and I really really didn’t want to hear what he had to say.”
Remus looks at her understandingly, “Oh I see, well now I can’t really fault you there.” He smiles down at her as they get themselves situated for the long ride.
After they finish putting their stuff up, silence follows as they both have things to say, but neither wants to interrupt the peace.
Lily finally breaks it, “So, would you mind indulging me in what you got up to?” She asks Remus, hoping he will go on one of his long story telling rants where Lily can just calm down and listen to the deep drawl of his voice.
Remus smiles at her like he hoped she would ask, “well if you really want that, and who am I to say no to such a nice lady?”
“Not a very good person I’d say,” Lily responds back cheekily, enjoying the banter between them.
“Ok ok,” Remus chuckles softly as he begins to tell Lily about his summer, “well one thing that happened this summer is my mum taught me how to make buñuelos, and oh my fucking merlin Lily, you just have to try them! they are so good and mum thought that I made them fairly well so we should go to the kitchen soon and make them with the house elves here!” Remus continues his stories about what him and his mother got up to over the summer as Lily rest her head on his shoulder and drifted off to the low, calming voice of Remus Lupin.
***
Lily startles up when she feels a strong shove to her shoulder as she tries to settle her hair.
“Oh great I thought you would never wake,” Remus says as he is getting his stuff together to go to the castle.
Lily looks around and sees that most people have already gotten off the train as she finally realizes where exactly she is.
“Oh shit! cmon Remus we gotta go!” Lily is panicking now trying to get her things together as she hulls herself and her bags off the train with Remus behind her laughing.
“It is really ok Lily I told the others to wait while I get you up no need to rush,” the boy says but Lily is not hearing any of it as she continues in an awkward sprint towards the carriages where, of course, everyone is waiting for them.
They finally get there and Sirius is just buckled over laughing at them, he has a perfect witch laugh, Lily thinks to herself and snorts at him.
They all finally get in the carriage to Hogwarts, with Lily sitting in between Remus and Marlene, with James next to her, as they begin to talk about their plans for 6th year.
Sitting right across from Lily, is Mary, sitting in between Sirius and Peter as she laughs at something Marlene says.
Lily finds herself zoning out of every conversation going on as she takes the time to memorize every little detail of her friend, as she tries to figure out, what is so enchanting about her.
Her hair is pulled back into a low ponytail, with two curly strands left out front that Mary keeps twirling in between her fingers.
Hands.
Mary’s hands had a significant amount of rings on them and, oh merlin, did they look nice on her.
More than nice, her brain supplies kindly to her, absolutely ignoring the amount of inner turmoil Lily is experiencing as she is looking at her friend.
She feels her breath hitch as she realizes exactly why she feels so pulled to Mary.
Lily Evans, might just fancy, Mary Macdonald.
Oh.
Oh no.
Lily feels herself snap out of her mind as Marlene puts an arm around her shoulder.
“You alright Lils?” Marlene asked in a concerned tone and Lily just realized how pale she has gotten at her newfound discovery.
“Yeah I’m alright, just thought I forgot something on the train,” Lily comes up with an excuse fast to get some of the new attention off her.
“Oh alright! I am sure whatever it is you can borrow mine or Mary’s,” Marlene is really just too helpful.
“That would be great! thanks Marls,” Lily sends her fake praise even though she is in a constant battle in her mind with new thoughts racing.
It will probably go away, not much to worry about, I am sure it is fine, Lily reassures herself as she finally settles down from her thoughts of relationships, girls, and lies.
Yeah, it will just go away.
She is finally comfortable as she jumps into conversation again, ignoring the fluttering feeling in her stomach whenever Mary looks at her.
***
It in fact, did not go away.
It has been a whole month since she realized she fancied Mary, and her crush absolutely did not go away.
It actually just got bigger.
Now every time she was near Mary, she wanted to impress the girl, Lily found she couldn’t take her eyes off of Mary as she didn’t want to miss a single thing her friend did.
Even her friends had started to worry about her weird behavior when it came to Mary, but nobody was brave enough to ask, even though they are all Gryffindors.
Marlene did ask though.
Of course she did.
“What happened between you and Mary?” Marlene asks as she corners Lily in an empty potions classroom.
Lily huffs out an awkward laugh, a guilty laugh, as she lies, “Nothing happened between us, I really don’t know what your on about Marls.”
Marlene can be really scary when she wants to be, and Lily right now, is terrified, of the blonde girl.
“Cut the shit Lily, I know your hiding something,” Marlene states, but Lily just stares back at her, paler than usual as she doesn’t respond.
Marlene just sighs and looks at Lily with concerned eyes that tug at her heart, oh merlin, not those eyes anything but this.
Lily knows the next thing Marlene says is going to break her silence and she is going to spill out her secret.
And Lily is absolutely petrified.
“You know, Lily, you can tell me anything, I won’t judge,” Marlene says in the kindest voice Lily has ever heard come out of the girl, “please we just want to know what’s up with you, even Sirius is concerned and he barely gives a rats arse about anyone but himself.”
Lily just huffs as silence rings out in the empty classroom.
Marlene is still staring at her, but she gets up and tries to head to the door.
“Mary,” Lily whispers, like it is a secret that could get her killed if said too loudly.
Marlene just looks at her, body tense, as she waits to hear what Lily is going to say.
“I fancy Mary, Marlene,” Lily looks the girl dead in the eyes as she says it as she feels tears prick her eyes.
She can hear herself sniff but all that she feels is cold, hard, dread.
Because Marlene is still staring at her like she just told her that she is a werewolf.
And the one thing Lily has feared in liking Mary is coming true.
So Lily just gets up and rushes past Marlene before she has to hear what the girl has to say as she goes to the nearest bathroom she can find and locks herself in a stall.
That is when she breaks.
Her sobs rock through her whole body as she comes up with what ifs, and the thought of losing her friends.
Lily cries until she can’t bring up any more tears as she breathes long and hard in the stall.
“Um, is everything ok in there?” Lily tenses as she hears a silky voice break over her dry heaving.
Lily takes a second to pull herself together enough to respond to the angelic voice, “Um, yeah, yes everything is ok,” even Lily doesn’t believe what she just said.
“Can you... unlock the door?” the voice asks sweetly and Lily finds herself doing it without her brain telling her to.
The door unlocks as a girl in a Slytherin uniform steps in and crouches down at Lily.
It takes a second for her to realize exactly who this girl is but when she does, she feels relief wash over her.
Dorcas Meadows.
Not friends with anyone Lily personally talks to.
She feels herself sigh.
Dorcas however, seems to have the exact opposite reaction.
The Slytherin is staring at Lily like a dear in headlights, loudly thinking, but not loud enough for Lily to decipher exactly what is wrong with the girl.
“Your Lily Evans, right?” Dorcas says in a small, high pitched voice that doesn’t at all match the one Lily was hearing just a minute ago, “your friends with Marlene.”
Great. Lily thinks to herself as she realizes that Dorcas does in fact know her friends personally.
“Yes that would be me,” she mumbles lowly under her breath, not exactly ecstatic to carry on this conversation.
Lily feels the girl stand up and look down upon her judgmentally and she wants to shrink up into a ball and die, because Lily is sure anything would be better than this.
It takes a second for Dorcas to speak again but once she does, it is something that takes Lily so much by surprise that she stands up to stare at Dorcas like she is insane.
“You have my girlfriend worried sick, you realize that right? She came rushing to me while I was talking with Evan to ask me to help her find you, after you so rudely ran away,” Dorcas is talking in a horribly rude tone but Lily cannot find it in herself to care.
“Girlfriend?” Lily asks as she stares wide eyed at Dorcas.
That gets Dorcas to copy exactly how Lily looks as they both just stare at each other, waiting for the other to speak.
That does not happen though, because Marlene chooses that moment to rush into the bathroom.
“Cas, love, did you find Lily yet? I swear I have searched this whole damn castle where could she have gone?!” Marlene is talking in a rushed, breathy tone, obviously worn out from running around the whole school.
Lily clears her throat as she steps out of the stall to look at Marlene.
The blonde girl doesn’t seem bothered by either of her friends wide eyed gazes as she just seems relieved to have found Lily.
“There you are oh merlin you had me so worried Lils,” Marlene says as she goes to hug Lily, “I am sososoo sorry about how I reacted with what you told me Lily, I didn’t realize how it looked, but you have to admit I was quite surprised, you can’t blame me for that either. Whatever though, I am just glad your ok.”
Lily tries to return the hug but she is still trying to rap her head around the fact that Marlene is like her. Marlene feels the same way as Lily does about girls, and it is such a relief that Lily feels like she is dreaming.
“Marlene,” Lily says in a low voice to the girl, “you and Dorcas..” she trails off waiting for Marlene to get the hint.
“Oh” is all she says, obviously just now understanding why both her girlfriend and friend were just staring at her when she came into the bathroom.
The silence that follows is tense and awkward, but all three of the girls just look at each other, each not brave enough to break it.
Well, Lily should really stop underestimating Slytherins, because it was Dorcas who broke it.
“Well then,” she starts as she walks towards Marlene but keeping her eyes on Lily as if she is about to strike her prey, “do you have a problem with us Evans? because if you do, I can promise you won’t have to worry about us for much longer.”
Lily officially both admires and is scared of Dorcas Meadows.
Lily just stares at the girl in disbelief as Marlene starts trying to defend her.
“No no, Lily isn’t like that Dorcas, I promise, she just didn’t know, right Lily?” Marlene asks her as she tries to keep Dorcas away from her wand.
That snaps Lily out of her haze as she starts speaking without connecting her mouth to her brain, “What? oh yes Marlene I just didn’t know, and obviously I don’t care that you two are dating! Actually it is fantastic! Now I know that you guys like girls too so maybe the rest of our friends won’t react weird about me fancying Mary, of course I would never tell Mary though, because what if she reacted weird and.. why are you staring at me like that?”
Dorcas is looking at Lily with a proud smile and mildly surprised glint in her eyes as she waits for Lily’s brain to catch up with her mouth.
It’s as if a light switch just went off in Lily’s mind as she realizes what she just said to her.
“It is really alright Evans, I won’t tell a soul, and if I did I am fairly certain that Marlene would break up with me, and I would rather like to keep my girlfriend, so your secret is safe with me,” Dorcas says through a small, light laugh as relief washes over Lily.
“Oh ok, thank merlin for that, anyways, are we all good now?” Lily laughs back at Dorcas as she waits for Marlene to answer her question.
Marlene is just staring at them with an open mouth as she realizes that all is ok again,” oh yes, we are all good now, we should really get moving though Lily because we promised to study with Remus in the library today, and you know how he gets when we are late, so lets get going!” Marlene has got herself together once more as she starts dragging Lily out of the bathroom with Dorcas in tow.
“Bye Cas! I will see you tomorrow! but right now I have promises to keep and essays to write!” Marlene exclaims before giving Dorcas a kiss on the cheek as she runs off, hand in hand, with Lily.
As they rush through the hallway Lily sneaks a glance back at Dorcas who is just smiling at Marlenes antics as she slowly walks the other way.
And at that moment, Lily forgets all about her Mary problems as she lets Marlene take her to the library to get lectured for being late to their ‘study date’ by Remus.
Yeah, Lily thinks to herself, it is all going to be alright, as she smiles and lets herself relax for the first time since her new discovery.