The Amulet

When Dumbledore poured the memories into the pensieve, it rippled outwards to the edges of the stone basin. Severus could hear the garbled laughter from the party at the Lestrange Manor from within, the memory softly echoing eerily catching his attention. Lily stepped next to him to peer at the memories within. Her face glowed from the light emitting from the silvery white shine of the memories, her light herbal perfume ensnaring his senses. He shifted uncomfortably away, ignoring her sideways look.

“I’d like to join you, if you don’t mind.” Lily’s green eyes met Dumbledore’s in challenge.

The Headmaster smiled, seemingly amused. “I don’t mind at all, but perhaps…” His light blue eyes dropped down to the small chubby form cradled in Lily’s arms, feeling secure enough to fall asleep if the soft snores were anything to go by. “Severus could tend to the boy. I’m unsure how the pensieve might react with one so young and unable to follow directions.”

Severus forced himself to stare at the dark tuft of wavy hair on Harry’s head, making a point to avoid making eye contact with his ex-best friend, hoping that it wouldn’t open up whatever unresolved feelings he had. He could tell that Lily was staring at him, and enough time had passed where she might have deduced that he was ignoring her, and though he adamantly refused to look at her, he dropped his gaze submissively to the floor to avoid looking at her through his peripheral.

“Severus did go through all this effort to save the boy, after all.” Dumbledore pressed.

He was sure Dumbledore was trying to paint him in a better light, making him seem like some bashful hero, but Severus was not so self-sacrificing. It wasn’t until their arrival at Hogwarts, on the way to the castle, that he had the strangest feeling that Lily was not as appreciative of his action, her outburst of outrage at discovering Harry was now his son in all the ways that mattered left a heavy feeling in his gut, and the longer he stayed in her presence, the more he felt some serious emotional turmoil behind her restless demeanour.

Lily sighed and startled Severus into meeting her eyes when she closed the gap between them. His heart leapt and raced in response, but he didn’t have time to process it because she was pressing a sleepy toddler to his midriff, his hands raised to take Harry in response, briefly noticing how light he was for someone so young.

 “Watch him, Severus. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Severus offered her a forced closed-lipped smile in acknowledgement, and she narrowed her eyes expectantly. He surmised there was nothing else he could ever say to appease her, so he made his way out of the circular chamber and settled himself on the loveseat in front of the fire. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Lily’s shadow in the large oval opening leading to the other room, and Severus purposefully concentrated on manoeuvring Harry’s small form across his chest while he leaned back, propping his head on the arm of the seat. Even though he couldn’t see her, he could still feel that Lily was still there watching him.

Severus stared at a particular painting out of the many mounted on the wall of a sleeping Headmaster using his white ruff collar as a pillow. The old codger had his arms folded atop a small stack of books, cradling the spine of the tomes in such a way that the titles would be covered. Severus tried to muster some interest in the painting to pass the time. Was the ruff mandatory for that period? What sort of pranks would have pertained to that circular monstrosity?

Severus’s body, finely tuned to be aware of Lily, began to relax of its own accord, and it sagged as he sighed in relief.

He was finally alone.

He shifted his attention to his chest at the toddler’s sudden movement. Harry, who looked to be making himself comfortable, tilted his face up until Severus could feel puffs of air on his chin and lower face as the boy steadily breathed in and out. The corner of Severus’s mouth began to curl upward as he watched the boy. Harry. His son. His and Lily’s. A warm feeling unfurled in his chest, his heart rate speeding in rhythm as Severus’s hand came up without his control to lightly touch Harry’s head comparing how large his hand was in comparison. He was so small. Severus felt the strength of his hands and how destructive it could be with such a fragile being. He could end up breaking the boy accidentally. It suddenly occurred to him that Harry could roll off of him in sleep and fall to the floor. Why, if that happened, he could crawl straight into the hearth and touch the fire! Severus cradled Harry to his chest and tucked him into the meat of his shoulder, using his body as a barrier to prevent the boy from falling to the floor. A pressure in his chest he wasn’t aware existed until then eased, and he let out a long sigh of relief. Fatherhood was hard! Children are too ignorant to realize the potential dangers that surrounded them.

And it was at that moment Severus decided to take it upon himself to be that person to Harry, to be the one to discourage him and teach him the dangers of touching fires from the grate, to make sure he didn’t accidentally hurt himself rolling off couches, to watch over him as he slept. He watched Harry with a renewed sense of purpose, who sleepily nuzzled into the warmth of his chest, sighing contently. Severus felt something slot into place. This was his boy. His son, Harry. Feeling like the world suddenly held meaning, Severus smiled a genuine smile.

Unbeknownst to either of them, hidden under Harry’s onesie, the amulet glowed. The comfort of the fire, the warmth of his feelings and the exhaustion of the day lulled Severus to a strange sense of peace that soothed him to sleep.

…

“Figures.”

Severus’s dark eyes opened, alert. Tendrils of dark auburn hair obscured his field of vision, and his breath caught in his throat in surprise at the soft heady scent that could only have come from Lily.

“They always sleep on duty.” She sounded like she was talking to someone.

There was a lot of movement near his abdomen, and it took all he had to refrain from reaching out and holding Harry in place so he wouldn’t fall. Lily righted herself, and Severus had a clear view of her shooting his lap a disapproving look. He followed her line of sight and met brilliant green eyes staring back at him, blinking owlishly unperturbed.

Severus fought back a smile. Little tyke.

“Well, good. It seems you’ve got this all well in hand.” Surprised by the ire in her tone, he looked up at her but she was already walking away, stopping in front of the Headmaster to speak to him in a semi-hushed voice, Dumbledore all the while peering over her shoulder meeting Severus’s eyes, his own twinkling madly.

Annoyed, Severus diverted his attention back to Harry who was kneeling precariously on his lower abdomen. He slowly brought himself upright to avoid startling the boy, putting all his weight into his forearms.

“Hi, there,” his voice sounded rough from sleep.

Apparently that was all the prompt Harry needed because he began to babble happily something he didn’t understand. Severus looked in Lily’s direction for help but she had her back faced towards him. He uneasily turned back to Harry, feeling like he was failing him in some way because he couldn’t understand. So imagine his surprise, that in the boy’s excitement, he nearly toppled off and Severus’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach as he began flailing his arms out from under him ungracefully to catch said boy.

Severus cocked his head back and sighed in relief. With both Harry and Lily present, he would always have to be on high alert. He internally scolded himself feeling both at fault for falling asleep and nearly killing Harry just now.

Pale, feminine hands reached to take the boy and Severus begrudgingly let her take him. He didn’t trust himself at that moment.

Lily shot him an appreciative smile and he found himself returning it before he reigned it in.

“Alchemy,” said Dumbledore, his voice projecting seemingly from everywhere but nowhere all at once. There was something in the older man’s tone that led Severus to believe that the man was talking to him.

He fully sat himself up, massaging the crick in his neck and tried to search the direction of the Headmaster’s voice. “Yes?”

He found Dumbledore standing behind his writing desk, bending down to pull a handsome reddish-brown chest with gold trim and haphazardly opened it to begin rifling through. “Were you aware that the blood ritual you invoked was centred on Alchemy?”

Severus shook his head in disbelief. He couldn’t fathom how he could have done such a thing unless it had something to do with the amulet. A memory pressed against his consciousness of the odd encounter with the Gringotts goblin who spat on his hands. Severus involuntarily shuddered in revulsion.

Dumbledore continued, unbothered by his lack of response. “Severus, through you, I’ve seen alchemy and magic combined in a way I’ve never seen before. Ah-” As if recalling he could do magic, the Headmaster snapped his fingers and a thin rectangular box appeared in front of him. As if summoned, he plucked it from midair and it disappeared within the folds of his robes before Severus could crane his neck to get a better look at it. Dumbledore was already walking around his desk when he waved his hand and effortlessly closed the chest behind him and resettled it back under his desk magically. Severus had the strangest urge to look at Lily and see what her reaction was to this impressive display of magic used so frivolously but tapered the impulse just in time.

Severus gazed, nonplussed, at Dumbledore as he sat down next to him. If he noticed Severus shifting away to recreate what he perceived to be respectable space, he didn’t show it. “The spell you used on Harry’s scar, was it one of your own making?”

“It was,” he said, interested in how the two connected.

“Was that the only one you’ve made?” Dumbledore inquired, peering over his half-moon spectacles. Severus's heart sank at the look. Now, he knew Dumbledore was farsighted and used his glasses to magnify for reading but sometimes the Headmaster sends the wrong impression by looking over his glasses and even though Severus is aware this is not his intention, he couldn’t help but feel like a petulant child.

At his lack of response, Lily came to his rescue sounding like a proud mother. “He’s always invented things. Potions, spells, you name it, he’s done it.”

Severus fought back a blush.

“Oh, how exciting, “ Dumbledore exclaimed jovially, pulling the long thin nondescript mahogany box he hid within the recess of his robes. “Would you mind if I put your skills to the test?”

Perplexed, Severus reached out and hesitantly took the offered container. “I don’t want to disappoint.”

“Nonsense,” said Headmaster, encouraging him to open it with a hand gesture.

Severus eyed the thin box, half expecting it to explode any second; one couldn’t be too sure when it came to the Headmaster and his ‘tests.’ Lily, who was standing quietly in front of the dying fire with Harry perched on her waist, decided to seat herself in the armchair closest to Severus, straddling the toddler on her legs. Everyone leaned forward as he slowly opened the box, its dark hinges creaking audibly. Inside, cushioned by red velvet, was a very long wand. Severus let out a breath in relief.

“It’s my first wand. I tried to transmute it using alchemy by overlaying it with stone, I thought for sure dragons blood would complement the core of the heartstring inside, but as you can see there,” Dumbledore’s aged hands pointed to a large crack from tip to hilt. “I’m not sure if it liked the combination.”

Severus’s fingers hovered over the dark wand, pausing over the runes inscribed at the hilt. He felt resistance, it was akin to magnetic poles repelling each other, his palm pricked into awareness. He pushed through the force until his index fingers barely touched the hilt, and his magic arced, creating a display of a magical aurora borealis. Severus pulled his hand away in shock and stared at his hand in horror. He looked to Dumbledore to see if he was feeling as off-kilter by the turn of events as well, but the Headmaster just smiled patiently. Severus exhaled and turned back to the wand, indecisive on whether to touch it again.

“What would you have me do?”

“Anything.” Dumbledore chuckled, “Can’t be worse than what’s already been done.”

Severus rubbed his jaw in contemplation before attempting to draw his wand but a hand stopped him.

“Ah,” the Headmaster protested. “Most alchemy is done wandlessly, and I noticed in your memories that to be the case with you as well.”

Severus nodded in understanding, and pocketed his wand again. He took a deep breath and reached out once more towards the wand. Predictably, magic arced between his hand and wand and buzzed like an electrical current when he finally made contact. He handled the wood as delicately as he could, not wanting to place it in further disrepair, his palm warmed and tingled as he touched it. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. A memory flittered to the forefront of his mind of the Goblin Heelgrip stating that with a blood ritual intent matters. Was this a ritual as well? Did intent matter with magical alchemy too?

“Repairo.” He muttered, the wand’s fissure closed unblemished. He tried again, picturing the precious stones he knew laid hidden underneath and envisioned them out slightly, “Convenio.” Severus was so focused on his task that his eyes closed naturally on their own, an image pushed past his occlumency shield and to his mind’s eye. He could suddenly see the wand, see the stones encrusted but there was nothing tying it to the core. He redirected his spell to unite the core and stone by embedding the dragon blood that coated the wand within the stones and creating a magical pathway where the core could rely on the stones. He opened his eyes to see the end results. It looked like a crystallized mess, something he would find in a muggle toy store, a colourful gemmed wand advertised for girls.

With an apology ready at his lips he faced Dumbledore, wand in hand, but the Headmaster’s pupils were blown wide and his mouth slackened in awe and happy surprise.

“It’s perfect!” Dumbledore exclaimed. “Just as I envisioned it.”

Uncertain if the older man was jesting, he passed the wand hilt first to the Headmaster, who flicked it experimentally and conjured a small cursed flame that looked like a strutting pony.

Severus stood up in shock. “Dumbledore, are you mad? That’s fiendfyre!”

He could hear Lily gasp behind him, and as if sensing the change in the room Harry began to voice his disapproval.

“Settle down, settle down.” The Headmaster chuckled, conjuring cursed water in pony form as well before he had them both gallop straight into the other, colliding into becoming steam. “Wow! This wand is powerful.” He looked at the sparkly monstrosity in awe. “Already, I’ve completed controlled feats that surpassed the other one.”

Severus watched as the Headmaster took his knobby old wand and laid it across his lap with intentions of breaking it.

“What are you doing?!” Severus reached out, intending to stop the older man.

Dumbledore looked up at him in confusion before his eyes lit up. ”Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want the deathstick?”

The deathstick? What kind of pet name was that?

“Of course not!” But even as Severus rejected it, he confiscated the wand from Dumbledore’s hand.

“It’s a good powerful wand, not very loyal, mind you.”

“My wand suits me just fine,” Severus snapped. “Lily could have it as a spare wand.”

He presented the wand to Lily, the hilt extended towards her but she didn’t immediately take it. It wasn’t until Harry reached for it that she grabbed it, possibly intending to move it out of his field of vision, when Severus’s alchemy magic arced and spiralled like a live serpent around the knobby wand before sinking into her fingertips. Severus immediately let go of the wand and stared at his hand as if it had personally insulted him. Could he even trust his magic anymore? His attention snapped to Lily who was holding onto the hilt staring at the tip in- was that awe or horror?

“Lily? Are you okay?” His hand reached out to touch her but stopped before he actually could. “Did I hurt you?”

Lily shook her head as if she was coming back into awareness. “No, I just-” She adjusted her hold on a struggling Harry who was grasping at the air just short of the wand’s hilt. “-just an odd feeling. It felt so…right. I could only compare the experience to holding my first wand in Ollivander’s Shop.”

“Splendid!” said Dumbledore, unusually loud in the quiet room.

Severus shot the Headmaster an exasperated look, and stood watching their small group, feeling his energy dwindling. This had to be the longest Halloween known to man and he didn’t even have a time turner.