Chapter 9
Regulus stepped a little closer to James.
"They said you might be up here," he said.
By 'they' he meant Lily. When he was looking for James, he found her on the deck.
The young woman didn't want to help him at first and Regulus had to do some convincing. He explained to her what was going on and she finally helped him.
The young man was very thankfull, without her he might not have found James today. And then it might have been too late.
"Ssshhh," James interrupted, briefly touching his lips with his finger.
Then he held out his hand.
"Give me your hand."
Regulus took his hand and slowly stepped closer to James. Both men locked eyes the whole time and Regulus knew he had made the right decision.
He felt safe with him– Protected and most of all loved.
And Regulus loved James. At least he always had that oddly light feeling whenever James looked at him or touched his hand.
Was that love?
Regulus didn't know.
He was always afraid to love someone. To love so much that it hurts– to love that it can destroy you just like that.
But if what Regulus felt now was love, then he wasn't afraid. It was... okay, great even.
"Now close your eyes," James said softly. "Go on."
Regulus does, and James led him to the rail.
"Now, step up."
Regulus climbed onto the rail with his eyes closed.
"Now, hold onto the railing," James murmured. "Keep your eyes closed. Don't peek."
"I'm not."
James presses Regulus gently to the rail, standing right behind the younger boy.
"Do you trust me?"
"I trust you," Regulus whispered without hesitation.
Then James takes Regulus two hands and raises them until he is standing with her arms outstretched on each side.
Regulus lets him do it.
When James lowers his hands, Regulus arms stay up… like wings.
"All right. Open your eyes."
Regulus opened his eyes and gasps. There is nothing in his field of vision but water. It's like there is no ship under them at all, just the two of them soaring. The Atlantic unrolls toward him, a hammered copper shield under a dusk sky.
It felt like-
"I'm flying", breathed Regulus.
James smiled and carefully placed his hands on Regulus' hips to support him.
Regulus smiles, then leans back, gently pressing back against James chest. Their fingers intertwine.
Regulus turns his head until his lips are near James'.
"James?" Regulus murmured.
"Yes?" James replied, his eyes on Regulus' lips.
"I'd like to go back down, before one of us falls into the water."
"Oh yes of course."
James easily jumped back onto the deck and helped Regulus climb down from the railing.
The two men stood facing each other chest to chest.
Then Regulus put his arms on James' shoulders and pulled him down until he kissed James for the first time.
James kissed People before, but it was nothing compared to this. Regulus sweet lips against his own, his hands on the other young man's waist.
It was one of the best moments, if not the best moment, of Regulus' life.
In his later life there was no one who could keep up with this and there were many, many beautiful moments.
It wasn't just because it was his first kiss. That was the best moment of his life because he decided to take what he wanted.
And that was James.
Regulus knew - James knew - both knew that this wasn't normal. They'd only known each other for a few days, but it felt like they'd spent their entire lives together.
Neither of them knew if there was any future with them - they couldn't know either - but silently they agree to try.
Regulus and James stood there for a while, kissing as the sun dipped below the horizon.
And that was the last time Titanic ever saw the daylight.
~~~~
"It's quite proper, I assure you. This is the sitting room," Regulus assured James.
Some time had passed, and it was now too cold outside. The younger of the two closed the door as James entered the room and looked around.
"Will this light do?" Regulus inquired, laying his jacket on one of the chairs.
"What?"
"Don't artists need good light?"
"That's true, but I'm not used to working in such horrible conditions," James said with a bad French accent.
"Oh, I'm sorry that these conditions are so unbearable," Regulus replied in perfect French.
"You- you know French?" James stuttered.
It took him a moment to process how attractive Regulus was when he spoke French - even more attractive than usual.
And even in normal situations, James had had to pull himself together. It was almost impossible for him not to kiss Regulus.
"Part of my family is from France, James. Of course, I can speak French," the other young man replied.
"I didn't know that - Monet!"
The older of the two got distracted by the paintings that had been leaning against the wall since the beginning of the journey.
He walked towards the painting and squatted in front of it. Regulus stood next to him. It was the painting of a water surface with many water lilies.
"Do you know his work?"
"Of course."
"Look at his use of color here. Isn't he great?"
James pointed to one of the water lilies and carefully traced the lines with his fingers.
"I know. It's extraordinary."
After James had looked at the painting, Regulus led him into another, smaller room where the safe was.
"Severus insists on carting this hideous thing everywhere."
"Should we be expecting him any time soon?" James asked, now looking around slightly nervously.
Regulus took out the box with the locket.
"Not as long as the cigars and brandy hold out."
"And your brother?"
Regulus tried not to grin as he picked up the locket and put the box away.
"Don't worry. As long as Mr. Lupin keeps him company, we don’t have to worry about him either."
Regulus walked over to James and showed him the locket.
"That's nice," James said as he took a closer look at the piece of jewelry.
"James, I want you to draw me like one of your French boys and girls. Wearing this."
"All right," James mumbled without looking up from the locket.
"Wearing only this," Regulus added.
James' head snapped up.
"Well, not really wearing it. But you know what I mean."
Was he serious right now?, James wondered. He never expected Regulus to ever want to be drawn. Especially not naked.
James nodded slowly.
Regulus took the locket back and went to his room to change.
He was sure he wanted to, but he was still pretty nervous.
James would soon see him naked. Nobody had seen him naked since he was a baby.
Regulus looped the locket around his neck.
He closed his eyes. The cool Locket lay on your chest and his heart pounded against it from the other side.
It was beating fast, far too fast and still so young heart. So young that it didn't know how to deal with it.
"This is ridiculous," Regulus murmured.
He took off his locket and wanted to put it in a pocket, but it fell to the ground.
Regulus looked confused. Someone had cut holes in the pockets.
"Oh, you're so dead, brother."
Nonetheless, Regulus grabbed the locket and left his room.
James had meanwhile pushed the small sofa into the middle and placed a chair across from it.
He had sat down in the chair and was preparing his drawing materials. Hearing the door open, James looked up.
"The last thing I need is another picture of me looking like... like a puppet", Regulus said and entered the room.
"As a paying customer–" He hands James a dime and steps back. "I expect to get what I want."
James swallowed.
"Maybe we can talk about how you sit down first," James suggested, and the other young man nodded.
"So how about you-"
James sat down on the small sofa. He bent one leg and put his other on it. He let the other leg hang over the edge of the sofa.
"–sit down like that with the locket in hand."
"Sounds good. I like that," Regulus said.
"It would also look more aesthetic if you took a sheet and covered something with it. I know that might not be what you-"
James stopped when, without warning, Regulus removed his robe and threw it on the floor.
"It's okay. You're probably right."
Then Regulus got a blanket and sat down on the sofa as James had just suggested.
James looked at Regulus for a moment.
"Can I-" James ask. "Can I move you a bit?"
"Yes."
James put his hands on Regulus' arms. He slowly ran his hand down Regulus' arms, lifting them slightly as he did so.
"Right. That's it."
James sat down in the chair and picked up his drawing pad.
"Now, look down, please. Eyes to the Locket."
Regulus looked at the locket. A few of his black curls fell in his face.
"Perfect," James said. "And now try to stay still."
James took a deep breath and began to draw Regulus.
It felt like a dream.
The younger man felt James looking at him. James beautiful brown eyes just looking at him.
Regulus sat there and enjoyed James' attention. He enjoyed it so much, he wished this moment would never end.
Eventually, however, Regulus looked up cautiously. James looked straight at him and an uncharacteristic serious expression on his face.
"So serious."
James gave him a brief smile.
"Look back at the locket, please," James murmured.
Regulus lowered his gaze again.
"I believe I saw you blushing, Mr. Big Artiste," Regulus continued.
"You think?" James asked, looking back from his drawing to Regulus.
His drawing was good, very good, but no drawing would do Regulus justice.
James thought from the moment he first saw him that Regulus couldn't get any more perfect, but he was proven wrong over and over again.
The first time he faced Regulus face to face, the night Regulus was about to jump off the ship. And he thanked God that he wanted to get some fresh air that evening.
Then when he and Regulus had been talking all day. His laugh just before Regulus' mother had appeared. James had vowed at that moment to make the other young man laugh as often as he could.
And at the moment he was proven wrong again. James was glad Regulus wasn't looking his way. It might have struck him how much willpower James had to muster not to kiss Regulus right away.
He was just perfect, in James' eyes.
And he couldn't wait to leave this ship with him. James didn't know what the future held for him and Regulus. He didn't know if this relationship would last, or-
Relationship? Did the two have a relationship?
They had this beautiful moment at the bow of the ship and this moment now but was that enough for a relationship.
"I can't imagine Monsieur Monet blushing," Regulus snapped him out of his thoughts.
James didn't even realize he'd stopped drawing. He cleared his throat and continued.
"He does landscapes, Reggie."
Regulus' head snapped up.
"What did you just call me?"
"Um- I called you Reggie," James stammered. "Why? Did I do something wrong?"
Did he do something wrong? no
Regulus just didn't like that nickname, mostly because Severus used it. But just as James called him that, a shiver ran down his spine– a good one.
Using the nickname always made Severus feel small, like - like he couldn't take care of himself.
Right now, however, he didn't feel small and insignificant. Since he was sitting here, he felt special, he felt important. Regulus was important.
James made him feel that way, and when James called him Reggie, that feeling just got stronger.
Because, well… James thought Regulus was special and wanted the younger man to know that.
And Regulus knew it.
"No, no. You didn't do anything wrong," Regulus murmured.
He could almost feel his cheeks blushing - he blamed it on the fire. The young man looked down at his hands again.
His heart was still beating way too fast, but that was ok. He liked the way James made him feel.
And well...
It was the most erotic moment of Regulus young life…
up until then, at least.