Homey
Saturday 8th July 1899
/AD/
“What?” I have turned to Gellert, meanwhile, Bathilda was leaving for her home already, not patient enough to wait for her great-nephew. The blonde boy smiled and nodded.
“As I said; you are not going alone,” he repeated and I blinked, not knowing what exactly did he mean by that. Of course, he was not going to ask me to go with him, right?
“But I really have no one to go with. And if you mean Ariana, she can not go, she…” I stopped and gulped when he raised his brow. “You did not mean Ariana, did you…?”
Gellert shook his head, so his blonde locks fell to his eyes partly. “No. No, I did not. I meant myself. You are going there with me,” he confirmed and I could feel how blood is leaving my cheeks for a while, but returning hotter than ever.
“You – what?! But that is the same as if I went with Abe, that’s… Still, I have no one to dance with and-“
“In Durmstrang,” he continued calmly as if talking about the weather, “we do have Christmas ball every single year. It is very common to train your dancing steps with other boys because there are just a few girls at the school, so most of the time they are taken away very fast. When I was in the fifth year, we tried to talk to our headmaster, because our class had just four girls there, and it was impossible to make pairs then; nevertheless other schools joined the ball, still, most of those girls already had a partner. So, don’t worry, you won’t be my first one.”
My mouth stayed wide open as he winked at me and walked down the stairs. I blinked, trying to find my senses and movements. I stuttered out something like: “Well th’s amazin’,” before I gulped and shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know any female steps in any dance. Is that a problem?” I asked, hoping partly he will say yes because then it would spare me many of nervousness; on the other hand, he may be able to force me to learn that until the Sunday evening ball.
“No, sure it’s not, it is mostly the same, just backwards. You will catch the rhythm right in it.” he said, smiling brightly, and I was horrified, afraid of what will come next, yet my heart kind of jumped with happiness. I never went to a summer ball with someone I actually… liked. It was always my mother, Bathilda or a daughter of my mother’s friend. And at school, someone always, I don’t know why picked me and asked me out first that I could ever realise the ball is coming. I gulped.
“So… will it be a big deal if we won’t… you know, dance?” I asked and he smiled again, even brighter.
“No. Of course not. We do not have to if someone will ask you there or so. But at least you won’t go there alone, you know?” I nodded, being partly glad; on the other hand…
“We can. I mean the dance. We can do the dance, to… To dance together.” I knew my cheeks are red. And I knew there is absolutely nothing I could do about it. And I knew I am screwed when he smirked and pinched my cheek teasingly.
“Sure we can. So we will meet… At five o’clock in the evening on Sunday? In front of your house, we can go to the town together, do you agree?”
I felt as if my heart stopped. My pupils dilated, my hands shook, and my knees felt like jelly; I thought I could fall in every next moment. As if the whole world slowed before my eyes, I swallowed quietly and wanted to nod or answer, but I was not able.
“Albus?” I heard his gentle yet burning voice calling me and I took a deep breath.
“Yes?” I asked, blinking. Gellert smiled, taking a step towards me, hands behind his back.
“Do you agree? Meet up here, at-“
“Yes,” I said quietly. It was a very unsure yes, at least for my own ears. “Yes, I do agree,” I repeated softly and added a gentle smile.
“Then I cannot wait for Sunday, Albus Dumbledore,” he smiled at me back, much more charmingly than I did and handed me his hand. I took it, still trembling.
“Yes,” I just repeated, even softer, lightly and warmly shaking his bony hand.
“Good night, Albus.” The sky was indeed getting a little bit darker. After all, we spent more than an hour in the dining room. The time was flying with him.
“Good night, sir…”
He left my hand, the charming smile on his face widened and he left those stairs once again. I watched him until his golden hair disappeared behind the hedge around our garden. Then I turned around, heading back home and with my head in clouds, I bumped into Aberforth at the door. He frowned at me, imitating my voice, but making it a lot more… Dirtier, to be honest. There was no other word for the moaning noise my brother teases me with.
“Ghhooood nighhht, shhhir…!” he yelled at me with the surely false moaning imitation as I run up the stairs to my room. Even if it was inappropriate and very rude, I could feel how my cheeks are burning over a hundred degrees, and not with rage or a wave of anger. I was about to explode.
He asked me out.
On a date.
To the summer ball.
I was burning.
/GG/
I felt sorry for Albus; Bathilda went out on him without any consideration. I understood that he did not want to go to the ball; he didn't look like someone who would enjoy the company of a lot of snobbish spinsters, virgins and widows, neither wealthy horny dudes with hungry eyes for every bit of young, beautiful and intact untouched skin.
And I wasn't surprised by that.
I kept my fingers crossed for him at first that he could somehow wriggle out of it, but when Bathilda stepped in and decided he has to go there 'out of courtesy' and I saw how sick Albus was at the thought, I sighed and had to intervene somehow. To be honest, I did not really like the idea of an innocent, intelligent and intact Albus alone at the ball. He accepted my offer faster than I expected, but it really was not news to me. Ballroom dances were also part of the lessons in the Durmstrang, and with four girls in the class, it did not go so smoothly.
I expected Albus' embarrassment. He was just like that. It felt like we had known each other forever, only now we had not seen each other in a long time. I felt like I knew more about him than he had told me in the last week that we had really known each other. I was not afraid to talk about my history in front of him, what I told him was nothing I needed to keep secret. I was no longer affected by any incident, and I did not care what happened to my parents. I stopped missing my mother a long time ago.
I came home a little after Bathilda and was about to go upstairs and go about my business, but my great aunt’s little hand stopped me on the first step, and I turned with a blink.
"Yes?" I asked, trying to read more than the fatigue on her face.
"Gellie, I want to thank you for being so kind and nice to Albus. You know, he's never had anyone here... He does not get on very well with his brother, and he's never really gotten along with the local muggle boys. There are a few wizarding families down in the village and town, you'd probably meet them at the ball on Sunday, but Albus never got along with them either. That Travers boy, for example, is pretty smart, I'd say... You could get along with him as well as with Albus..."
"I'll see," I interrupted my aunt and climbed the stairs again. She must have tilted her head more to see me.
"Pretty girls go there too. You are tall and a very handsome boy, they will definitely fight over you. The same goes for Albus, but he just does not dance. Last year, when his mother was with him, he was said to have a seat on a chair all evening leading he had a conversation with some professor about three specific spells, and then he wrote a short manual based on them... Now tell me, can the boy even have fun?"
I was about to stop Bathilda but when she mentioned the spell manual I blinked and tilted my head. "Do you have it at home, here?" I asked curiously, "That book, that manual from Albus," I added as Bathilda raised an eyebrow. After my question, she sighed and pointed toward the living room.
"It's over there in the library. But Gellie, you really should rest, look forward to Sunday and hope you meet some-"
"I'll rest tomorrow," I falsely assured Bathilda and rushed into the library.
Bathilda's library consisted of the vast majority of only history books, so I did not think it was important to explore it here all this time. The history that fascinated Bathilda bored me.
I scanned several shelves before coming upon a plain, small reference book. I pulled it out and read the title.
"A Practical Guide to Wandless Magic"
Below the title, a smaller text, specifying the book, stood out, saying: “Focusing primarily on spells that are particularly difficult without wands.”
And below was his full name. I raised my brow, frowning. Why would anyone give this stupidly long name to a kid? Poor Albus. I took the book, already reading it while leaving the library and walking to my room in the attic. I sat on the bed, completely drowned in Albus’ words.
It was not just a simple guide. It was not just a book. It was a book written by him. I imagined him with tons of parchments around himself on the floor, thinking about all these words and then putting them together. I imagined him frowning when he could not remember something, smiling when he finished the chapter, biting his lip while inventing the title for each of them. I saw him with half-closed eyes, focusing on the school library, where no one could understand him. I could see him being mocked by stupid jocks, his pages being ripped by a bully…
I caught myself clenching my jaw and my hands into fists. Albus did not deserve that, not a bit of it, and I did not even know if that ever happened. Maybe not, maybe he was adored by everyone, unintentionally ignoring smiling and blushing girls and not conscious of his personality at all. Perhaps he was clueless even now.
Did he know girls do not attract him? Did he know, or was he scared of himself?
It was nearly three am when I heard a light knock on my window. Mhm?
I got up from the bed, got the owl and grabbed the letter. It was well packed in an envelope, smelling like lavender and lilac. The seal was rosy-pink and with a bloom on it. I blinked, looking down from the window. Huh?
I stepped back, closed the window and sat back on the bed, ignoring the book now. My eyes were attached to the letter. I opened it with a knife slowly, revealing a pink paper with gentle girly handwriting. I frowned and started reading.
Dear handsome stranger,
sorry to disturb you at night, but my thoughts keep me awake. You are all I have to think about!
I noticed you recently, and you are new here; we live not far from each other, just a few streets away. I saw you at the cemetery a week ago when I went to water my grandmother. Did you notice me?
On Sunday, there is a ball! I wanted to ask you if you would come with me? I would be better company than your aunt...
Please do not keep me waiting long...
Sincerely, with my whole heart,
Andrea Macmillan
With disgust, I burned the paper even with the envelope, letting its ash fall down on the ground. I hated when someone try to catch my attention. I believe I did always notice interesting people, and this miss was not one of those. I hope she will be broken-hearted enough to stay at home, otherwise, I could write down a twelve slap.
I went back to reading Albus’ book; just a few more pages. His style of writing was genuinely fascinating me and I could not stop seeing him while writing the book. I had to imagine him from every single angle, in every single situation, and when I finished the book, I felt like I understand him so much more, even if it was not about himself. Albus would never write about himself, and I had a feeling he would hate someone who would do that so.
Sunday 9th July 1899
/AD/
I woke up early in the morning, as I was used to. Around seven o'clock, when I was bathed, dressed and breakfasted, I decided to spend the time productively and returned to painting the chess figures, from which Bathilda first interrupted me when she came to introduce us to her great-nephew. I smiled; it felt like an awful long time since I'd known him. I've never gotten along with anyone like that, except perhaps Elphias, with whom I've had a good friendship. I felt a slight thud when I realized that I was going to see him at the ball tomorrow and I would have to introduce Gellert to him. Elphias was used to having no other friends; I had many acquaintances, but I could not consider any of them as true friends. Something always bothered me, something was insufficient; intelligence, opinions, intent... It could be anything. I was friendly with others but always felt rather shy when I wanted to talk. It occurred to me that nobody had time for anything, least of all me; I was so used to it from home. All my caring ended when I was six years old and Ariana was born. And what about after that incident happened when she was four... They hung my brother around my neck to take care of. And so I had no choice.
I managed to finish the figures around eleven o'clock, so I went downstairs to the kitchen and was going to cook lunch. Only Ariana came to me, I didn't see my brother anywhere.
"Where's Abe?" I asked as Ari sat in a chair by the wall watching me cook. She shrugged.
"He said he went out. He'll be back for lunch," she added and I sighed.
"Of course, he'll be back for lunch," I said more to myself, frowning. Ari took a breath.
"Who are you going to the ball with?" she asked, and my heart sank when I realized that girls her age were starting to look forward to the ball, and some were even going. I smiled ruefully.
"You don't have to be jealous, I don't have anyone," I added and she raised an eyebrow. "Seriously, there is no prettier girl than you," I winked at her and she smiled gratefully.
"But Albus! You have to have an escort, at least, right?"
I laughed. "Gellert will come with me. I won't be alone, don't worry."
"And are you going to dance with someone?" she asked curiously, my hands almost shaking as I remembered our conversation with Gellert yesterday.
I shrugged. "If there's a really pretty girl there, maybe yes. But if I don't have to, then no," I answered her, and she smiled that relaxed and calm smile again. She didn't even realize how dangerous she was.
"Would you like some rice pudding?" I asked, carrying three bowls on a silver tray into the dining room. I took the matches in my hand and was going to light the candle, but Ari stopped me.
"You don't have to do it by hand, Al... I know you can do magic. That I cannot, that's okay. However, you do not have to think I am sorry. Please do magic, I like it. Then I feel more... Like your sister.”
I sighed and walked over to her with a light hurried step to plant a kiss on her forehead. "You will always be my sister, Ari. Always." So I lit the candle with two pops and she smiled, warm and genuine.
Aberforth arrived a few minutes after I had almost finished the rice pudding and sat down at the table, pouring over the bowl. I cleared my throat.
"What again-"
"Hands. Come wash your hands," I scolded my brother and Aberforth got up with a sigh and returned with considerably cleaner hands.
"What on earth were you doing?" I asked, watching in disgust as he gulped down the rice pudding.
"Think, smartass. Tomorrow is the ball," he sneered at me and was about to gasp when I kicked him in the ankle under the table and silenced him.
"Okay. Who are you going with?" I asked calmly, picking the bowls off the table with my wand. Aberforth looked at Ariana in horror. "She doesn't mind," I explained and he breathed in, trying to protest, but Ariana cut him off.
"Abe, I really don't mind. I like it. It makes me feel like I'm one of you guys, okay?" she smiled and the brother fell silent with a sigh.
"Who are you going with, I asked..." I repeated the question and he gave me an angry look.
"With a pretty girl, shiiiiir.”
I knew he could not miss it. He waited for every opportunity to repeat my sentence of yesterday. "Please stop imitating my voice if you can't. I don't sound like that and I certainly didn't say it like that!" I followed him and he just grinned capriciously.
"But you sounded like that. Just like that, listen-"
He repeated the word 'sir'; between the 's' and the 'r' he made an unnecessarily long moan, during which he looked at me with a pained expression on his face, meant to express…
"Abe, enough," I said, sighing. However, he did not give in, ate the rice pudding and leaned back in his chair.
"You keep bossing me around too. So why can't I take a shot at you?"
Ariana looked half confused and half horrified. I smiled at her. "You can go now if you want..." I was glad Aberforth let her do at least that. I watched her walk away down the stairs and then glared angrily back at my brother.
"What's such a big deal?!" I asked, trying not to get even more annoyed at his provocative expression. He leaned even more into the chair, smirking.
“Come on, Al, don’t play stupid. Well, you maybe think I am stupid, but-“
“I do not think that, Aberforth…”
“-but I am really not,” he continued as if I said nothing. “Tell me, Albus, do you think I will be deaf in the close future, too?” he asked and I incomprehensibly frowned.
“Mhm?” I was not sure what he meant by-
“When you two will fuck right next to my bedroom, mhm? Do you think I will be deaf?”
The shock I felt immediately gave way to anger and I rose from my chair, but Aberfoth was already running down the stairs laughing. I managed to fire one spell at him, but he just slipped down one of the steps and immediately ran up.
"You snitch! You are a stalker! How dare you!" My wand accidentally dropped as I ran after him; he just kept laughing before running off to his room. I landed on his door and pounded on it angrily, even harder than my heart was pounding.
"Bastard! Open! Open the damn door! I'm telling you to open!" I tried a few charms, but Aberforth had managed to secure himself after the Muggle, and when I unlocked the door, I could not get it to budge. Before I said a spell to help myself, he locked the door again in front of me. It was not until the second time that I managed to get into my brother's room. However, he was already jumping out of the window onto the roof below, and before I decided to run after him, he was already down on the lawn. “You moron, come back immediately!” I shouted at him, but he kept running. Heart pounding, I locked myself in my room and swallowed nervously. My hands were shaking.
I immediately went to the bed, sat down and after a while put my head in my hands. No, I do not want to cry again. With an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, I straightened up and sat on the bed for several minutes, maybe a good hour, looking around and biting my nails. Then there was a knock on the door and I opened it without thinking.
Aberforth walked in, his casual expression still on his face.
"Don't even look at me," I grumbled and was about to get up and push him out of the room when he sat down next to me and locked himself. I looked at him in wonder.
“I-I'm sorry,” he stammered and I frowned. I turned to face him.
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry. What I said was so…inappropriate," he admitted and I sighed.
"It's okay. I do not care that you said it. I was afraid that you would... That you might tell someone or something..."
Aberforth's cheeks flushed. "That's what you think of me? That I would tell anyone? Like seriously? You think I'd want my already introverted brother to be called a monster?"
His words were like a blow to the heart. I swallowed hard and did not answer. There was no way. Aberforth continued.
"Look, I don't know what you two have together, but it's not a normal friendship. The way he owns you and keeps you from all contact with the world... The way he tries to make you see only him... It's just jealousy. And you know when it's normal to be jealous? In a relationship. I thought you would start being normal and want to find a girl at the prom this year. However, you do not, you get invited by your friend! That would be absolutely okay, if it was I don’t know, Elphias, or someone normal, but this, that's-"
"Abe, stop it, please. Stop it." I got up from my bed and looked at him now from above. He remained seated, all bloated with his mouth open. I took a breath. "I know you see it that way. Everyone sees it that way, but-"
"Because that's the way it is! That is the way it is! At first, I thought he was just a cocky spoiled brat messing around with dark magic or something, but he's a freak..! Literally, a freak, Albus! Can't you see, what is he doing to you? Does this seem normal to you? Come on, tell me, tell me it's okay to fuck barely legal boys like you! No, because it's not and because he's a freak! A weirdo, perverted bastard!”
"Abe!" I picked him up by the shoulders and shook him, "we're not doing anything like that, dammit! I can't even have friends? I can't have someone I lock myself in a room with because I trust him enough to tell him everything?! You must think that-"
"Well, of course, because Elphias is also your friend and you never treated him like that in your life! You never hugged him, like a stupid lover! Do you really think I'm blind?"
I couldn't take it anymore and slapped my brother. My hand hurt a bit and he turned his head to the side, but it seemed to work. There were tears in his eyes, but not anger or pain.
It was regret. I sighed and pulled my brother to me by the shoulders, I hugged him briefly, but he grabbed me by the ribs and didn't let go for a long time. I could tell he was holding back tears because his face kept brushing against my shoulder and I had him wet after a while.
"Abe," I addressed him, pulling him away from me for a short time, "Abe, please don't say what you said before." I had to hold on to myself not to cry too. The brother just nodded briefly and swallowed.
"I just don't want him to destroy you," he added and I smiled.
"Don't worry. He won't destroy me."
/GG/
I woke up late that day, as I was used to. I found out I am home alone, and that was even more pleasing. I made myself a nice afternoon tea, grabbed some English biscuits and went outside to the garden. I have decided to try some new spells on slugs and other little animals. I wanted to practice a bit more than yesterday with Albus; even though it was a very nice day, I felt distracted by him and needed my peace. And therefore, I spent today with casting curses, practising wandless magic and when Bathilda came home, we had a nice warm dinner.
“What are you going to wear tomorrow, darlin’?” she asked while serving me a raspberry cake. I thanked her with a light nod and shrugged.
“Probably my formal school uniform?” I answered, not making a big deal out of it. She breathed in and shook her head.
“It’s… very traditional, I believe, but not in here. Maybe some nice suit would do it, what do you think? We can stop by in the town, tomorrow, and you can-“
“I think I want to be traditional as I am used to, tusen takk…”*
Bathilda sighed, shrugging. “Well, if you tell me the formal school uniform is the same as your normal daily school inform, then I will really do my best to change your mind…”
“No, it is not,” I lied a bit; it was mostly similar, but the base was fancier. It contained much more detail on the uniform; however, most students did not wear it because they found it unnecessary to acquire.
However, the basic uniform could be worn in several variants. At school, we called them the summer version (full uniform, but no coat; mostly for days when it was above ten degrees, which rarely happened), the second variant was the casual version (the coat was unbuttoned, thrown casually over both shoulders and not secured in any way by straps, as usual) and then the classic formal version that was worn to class (the cloak was secured with buckles and straps so that it was permanently held on only one, left shoulder.
Then, the fourth version contained the same uniform but a different coat; a winter coat; when it was really cold and the students had to spend some time outside the fire pit, it was allowed to change the classic coat to a winter one, which had long sleeves and a collar, and included a winter cap.
Well, and the formal suit, mostly worn for special occasions such as the last day of school or the Christmas ball, consisted of the same uniform, but with better buttons, belts and overall better quality and was just fancier. The coat could not miss and be perfectly held again by straps and buttons, thrown over a left shoulder.
“It really looks good; I will show you tomorrow, yes?” I promised Bathilda and she nodded, looking a bit worried. I smiled at her, trying to convince her I am really right. She will have to believe me, after all, because I am not changing into-
“Mhm, tante? Kann ich – sorry – can I have a question?” She smiled and looked at me.
“You really have to watch yourself while spending time with Albus, don’t you?” I shrugged and shook my head.
“I don’t know, I know he won't understand me in German, Norwegian, or Russian. So I have no other choice…”
“Just because I had to learn some basics German when you were small doesn’t matter I still remember it, Gellie… What was the question about?”
I smiled, nodding and taking a breath. “What do… Boys out here wear to balls? A casual suit? Or is it something absolutely different? A school unif-“
“No, Gellert, nowhere in the world, just in that damned icy school of yours, is the school uniform also a formal suit. No. They wear pretty suits with neckties, bows or normal ties. It can be black, white, grey or with a pattern.”
I gulped. “A pattern? Like…”
“Like stripes for example. You will see. Still, I do think one of those would fit you perfectly…”
I finished the meal quickly, cleaned it up and shook my head. “Absolutely not.”
After laying on my bed in the evening, tired and bored, I closed my eyes in the hope I will have at least some vision. But nothing. Nothing since yesterday. So I just lay there, ignoring the whole world, trying to focus on my own thoughts.
I forgot about the letter I received over the night. I forgot about the place where I am, about Albus and what he may wear tomorrow, about the damned ball and my aunt, just about everything. I closed my eyes and found myself home again.
In my head, I was wandering through cold stony halls, whistling for myself, letting all objects at home levitate, dancing in the empty ballroom and then torturing insects and bugs in the garden, until my curses became so good I did not have to say them out loud. Then, until the time I was able to cast them long-distanced, and finally, combining torturing curses with transfiguration. Once I managed to create a fish out of a spider.
It managed to live for a few minutes, before slowly turning back, dead due to a lack of water.
tusen takk _ thank you very much