What's in a memory?

Chapter Nine

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While Harry dozed, Malfoy tried his best not to worry about him.

Draco had another idea to help transition Harry back home, but he wasn't sure what the Weasleys' would say. Or how to ask.

“Would you mind...” Draco trailed off. He really shouldn't ask.

“What is it?” Hermione said, removing the stasis charm off her cuppa and taking a sip.

“I was just wondering, for Harry's sake...if it isn't too much of an imposition...” Draco dragged it out. 

“Draco, you can ask we won't bite.” Ron gave him a big toothy smile.

Draco gulped, staring down at his own cup of tea.

It was in a mug Harry had gifted him, just because. It read: Mr. always Right. Harry laughed and claimed it was perfect for his husband.

Malfoy had said, "well, one of us has to be." followed by a quiter, "Thank you, I love it." 

Harry had given him a peck on the lips, before mumuring against Draco's chin, "And I love you."

Draco traced the rim, summoning some Griffindor courage. 

He was a Slytherin for Merlin's sake.

“Well, I was wondering" He sucked in a shaky breath. "If you could stay the night?” Draco mumbled, he never mumbled.

Hermione and Ron shared a look.

But before they opened their mouths, Draco added, “I mean, obviously you have the kids to worry about, but-”

“Of course.” Hermione cut him off, with a gentle squeeze of his hand. Draco took another breath. "They're with Molly, I'm sure she'd love them to sleep over. Right Ron?” 

“Yeah, no. Let me just ask mum.” He said in the most Ron-like way.

Crap, Draco didn't mean to put this on anyone else.

He rushed out, “I mean, you don't have to stay, I just figure that Harry might be more comfortable if. if he had you here." He finished lamely. 

Godric, he was pathetic.

“Draco, breathe. It's okay.”

“I'll just check in with mum, but she won't mind.” Ron said with certainty.

“And if she can't, I'm sure my parents could take them for the night!” Hermione assured.

Ron leapt up and ran to the lounge hearth, leaning down to make his floo-call.

Despite their efforts, Hermione could see Draco was still worked up. 

“They were asking for some more grandma time the other day.”  Hermione furthered, seeing her distressed companion, trying to ease his discomfort.

Draco started tearing up.

“Oh Draco, it's okay.” Hermione slid her arm behind his back.

“No, it's just... It's hard.”

“Shh, it's okay.” She started rubbing reassuring circles with her palm. Secretly, (guiltlily), she was enjoying Draco's outburst.

This is the most emotion he's shared since Harry's woke up. And she was pleased she could be there to support Draco properly.

He shouldn't have to go through this alone. 

With unshed tears glistening in his eyes. 

“And Harry doesn't even remember." He took a shuddering breath. "He loves being uncle so much.”

“I know.” Hermione shuffled closer.

"Rosy and Hugo mean so much to him." Draco cried out.

“We'll reintroduce them soon. We just need to give Harry some more-”

“-Time. I know. But Hermione -”

“Stop that!” She chastised.

“What if he never-” 

“He will.” She spoke with such conviction. Willing Draco to believe the words, as she did.

“Because he'd be so disappointed if-” Draco's brain ran rampant, if Harry never remembered. so many things would be ruined.

“You will remind him every day.” Hermione sounded so sure. So able. 

Draco was a mess, tears and snot running freely as he allowed Hermione to rub circles into his back. 

Salazar, what if Harry never remembered any of it. 

He'd be so disappointed, so distraught if he couldn't remember meeting his own neice and nephew, if he never remembered their first kiss, if he never remembered Teddy's first loose tooth.

Draco sent a silent prayer to whatever God listening that he would get his husband back. For his sake, if not for Harry's.

They sat there for a while, Hermione doing her best to quell Draco's nerves. Whilst Draco tried to slow the spiral.

“Do you want to go to the study?" Hermione offered. "We could research more?”

Hermione knew that when her parents were in a similar situation that she felt helpless.  Much prefering the worthwhile feeling she felt when reading up on it.

By gaining a wealth of information, and finding hope within the pages. Hope she wouldn't have survived without. 

"We could read some more?" She repeated as Ron got up, dusting himself off. 

“Yeah, mum says it's fine,” He turned, looking up to the scene. “Woah man, do you need a drink?” Ron said, swinging into action and immediately grabbing the firewhisky.

“This.” Draco sniffled, “this, is why I love you guys so much.”

“We love you too ferret.”

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Harry woke up, he was feeling much better than he had done in weeks.

Must be something do with sleeping in his own house. Strange as it sounds it made Harry feel at peace. Almost as if the walls repeated “You're safe" which was a welcome addition to Harry's frazzled brain.

He wondered, for a moment, why he was in Sirius' bed, not sleeping on the first floor.

Before the reality of his situation came flooding back.

Memory loss. Eight years. Marriage. Hospital. Discharged for his own safety.

He tried to go over everything he learnt so far:

• He was an auror.
  
  

*Correction, a senior auror. He made it through training.

• Hermione and Ron were still together and their trio was still in tact.

*Correction, Ron and Hermione were married, with two kids. But Harry was still a cruical part of their lives. 

• He had an accident- *But there was hope.

• He still lived at Grimmauld Place-*but it was no longer dark and dank. 

• Malfoy lived here.

• And finally, (disturbingly), Malfoy was in love with him.

Harry cringed, it still stung. It sat heavily just under his diaphram and with every breath his brain repeated it, love. Someone loved him. Not like Ron and Hermione cared for him, but loved him.

He kicked it away. He may be alone now, but he was not ready to open that can of worms, just yet.

Which led to the weirdest revelation:

• He was Harry Malfoy-Potter.

• He had a husband.
  
  

He glanced down at his hand, traced the scars he found and the most prominent of all:

'I must not tell lies'

He swallowed. He married someone, of his own free will.

To do that, to make a family, he must've really loved someone.

'I must not tell lies'

He thought about all he knew of marriage ceremonies. “Do you take this man as your lawfully wedded husband?” -”I do.”

Harry had said those words, at some point in the next eight years....

Or rather the last eight years...

Was it a lie?

His heart cracked open, he looked down to his left hand again. Around his third finger a faint line where his wedding band must've sat.

-Where was it now?

-Did it get lost the night he was attacked? Did the healers cut it off and forget to give it back?

-Or worse, did Draco take it away because he realised that Harry was unlovable?

Harry curled in on himself.

He was just an over-emotional freak. He was nothing, just like the Dursleys said.

And no one would ever want him.

Not even his alleged husband.

Draco, who was so beautiful with stunning blond hair.

Draco with the eyes so deep you could drown in them.

Harry had noticed how well Draco aged, he was thin but toned. Every time he crosses his arms across his chest, Harry could see the material stretch over his muscular frame. His arms taut with veins pressing out.

Harry was fairly sure he'd lose his mind if he actually saw him naked, just imagining -

(because he's a guy and these things happen. He wasn't actively trying to think about it)

- the lithe body hidden beneath the conservative Healer's uniform.

And those ripped jeans today!

Harry's brain short-circuited and his face blushed brick red. Harry had tried desperately not to notice Draco's tight arse as he led the way home.

Fuck, that was his husband?

How was that the Draco Malfoy who Harry met all those years ago in Madam Maulkin's?

The same boy with the nasal voice that drawled as if he was above everything. The pointy face git who reminded him so much of his privileged cousin.

Malfoy who stole, and bullied, and propagandised.

Malfoy who joined the inquistorial squad as soon as he was asked, who made potter stinks badges, who set up a plot in first year to get him caught by Filch in the trophy room.

Harry tried to remember Malfoy in sixth year all sullen skin, and so narrow he could be mistaken for a cardboard cutout.

Remembering the way Malfoy's sharp features looked down at Harry as he said “Enjoy the trainride back to London” after he'd broken his nose.

Harry couldn't reconcile that image with the gorgeous man who showed him to Sirius' room, just a few hours ago.

That man was patient and understanding, and gave Harry exactly what he needed.

Sure, Harry saw how Draco still had his temper and his sharp tongue. But he was more restrained now, he'd think before he spoke and he breathed it out when the tension got too thick.

Malfoy's eyes used to freeze him with their beady gaze, with their coolness. Now they bled warmth into Harry's veins.

How was that possible?

And Harry now appreciated the silver mix with grey, and how they swirled with blue. He noticed how they reacted to the light. How when he was wearing his green robes they tinged that colour too.

And his smile!

Godric, Harry would mount anyone with a smile like that.

Harry didn't see it in Hogwarts, as the boy was too busy laughing or sneering at Harry.

Harry had followed Malfoy around for years, constantly on watch for his devious plots, and had never once seen that smile.

It was so bright, Harry felt he'd go blind. And happily so.

It sent a pulse through his body everytime he saw it.

Harry found himself deliberately looking away from it, lest he be caught in the flames.

Harry could drown in his desire if he was not careful. If he did not remind himself that Draco was Malfoy. The same git who tried to get him detention, who led him into danger, who made his life hell. Who sneered at his appearance. Who gloated in potions. Who-

No, He shouldn't find him attractive.

What the hell had happened that he could see past all his misdeeds?

This was the guy who called Hermione a mud-

How were Ron and Hermione okay with this?

How could they have accepted this choice?

Harry was bubbling with these conflicting thoughts and questions as he headed out the bedroom.

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