Jon De Plume
“News travels fast in Hogwarts'', Luz was told, so by lunch the following day the whole school knew about the flying car so eyes were twice more focused on Luz and whispers got louder and never-stopping. Though they were mostly about how rad or cool Willow and she were, Luz would much rather have an event-free year.
“Morning” Gus said with a slight stiffness in his voice when they arrived for breakfast the next morning, he was reading ‘Voyages with Vampires’. Post brought up the first reason Luz didn’t smile much that day.
“Look guys, Park got herself a Howler” Gloria said as a crow with its beak wrapped with a red loop landed in front of Willow, it also carried a letter to Luz “Go on, Willow” Star said in a timid whisper “I ignored one from my mom once... and it was horrible” Star gulped.
Willow stretched out a shaking hand and untied the knot on the crow’s beak. Star and the others seemed to brace themselves as if it was about to explode and, in a sense it did. A roar of sound filled the huge hall shaking the dust from the ceiling.
“WILLOW GARDENIA PARK! HOW COULD YOU STEAL THAT CAR? WE DID NOT RAISE YOU FOR PETTY STEALING!” It was the first time Luz heard Gilbert screaming, and she couldn’t say she wasn’t scared.
“YOUR FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK! IF YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!” A ringing silence fell. Willow paid the tip to the crow as fast as she could so the bird could fly away.
Luz was very relieved that she just received a normal letter, Camila had written a short letter to Luz:
“
Mija, did you steal a car? You could have been expelled! You could have died! I don’t suppose you stopped to think how the misters Park would go through when they noticed it was gone. I am absolutely disappointed with you Luz and know that when you come back we are going to talk about this. You can’t just do things without thinking about the consequences.
Ps: Send an apology to the Parks, Harvey is facing an inquiry at the Ministry
”
Luz felt as if she had swallowed a campfire, after all Harvey and Gilbert had done for her that was how she responded to their kindness. Stealing from them and getting them in trouble. Luz would have dwelled on it more but Professor Chariot was moving along the Gryffindor table handing out timetables.
Gus, Willow, and Luz left the castle together, crossed the vegetable patch, and made for the greenhouses, they were going to have double Herbology with the Hufflepuffs. The howler and Camila’s letter seemed to have been the last bit of punishment they needed because Gus was being perfectly friendly again.
Professor Milo joined the students accompanied by Jon De Plume; he had spent most of the last night repairing the Whomping Willow. Milo had bandages on his arms, as well as dirt on his fingernails, while De Plume was immaculate, with his glasses and scarf.
“Oh, hello there” Jon called, beaming around at the assembled students “Just been showing Professor Milo, the right way to doctor a Whomping Willow. But I don’t want you to think I'm better at Herbology than him; it just happens that I have met several of these exotic plants on my travels” Professor Milo called his students, entering Greenhouse 3.
Greenhouse 3 was a new environment for second-year students. Having only been in Greenhouse 1, they were eager to see what wonders lived in their new study place. Milo locked the door behind the students once everyone was inside.
Before Luz could enter though, De Plume pulled her aside, even with a protest in the form of a small frown on Milo’s face “You don’t mind if she is a couple of minutes late right? Good” He closed the door in Milo’s face before he could say anything.
“Luz” said De Plume, his large white teeth gleaming in the sunlight as he shook his head “Luz, Luz, Luz… When I heard, well, of course, it was my entire fault. I could have kicked myself” Before Luz could ask what he was talking about, he said “Don’t know when I’ve been more shocked! Flying a car to the school? Well, of course, I knew at once why you’ve done it” He winked at her.
“Gave you a taste for publicity, didn’t I?” Said Jon “You got onto the front page with me and you couldn’t wait to do it again” Luz blinked twice. For a second she thought she had misheard it but he continued “Lu, Luz, and Luz. I understand, I really do, and I should have thought about it more thoroughly. Fame obviously went to your head, since you’re too young and eager for attention” De Plume reached for Luz’s shoulder.
“You can’t start flying cars trying to get yourself noticed, young miss. Just calm down, you’ll have plenty of time for all that when you are older. Yes, yes, I know what you’re thinking, but I too, even more than you, was once a nobody” He continued to talk but Luz had long stopped paying attention to the words. So much so, that only about a minute after De Plume was already gone that she realised she should have been in the greenhouse.
Inside, Professor Milo had given one pair of earmuffs to each student. Luz grabbed one of the leftovers and took her place between Willow and Gus. The lesson started “We’ll be repotting Mandrakes today, can someone tell me the properties of this particular plant?” To no one’s surprise, Gus raised his arm.
“Also known as Mandragora, the Mandrakes are a powerful restorative” As usual, it looked like he has swallowed the textbook “They can be used to restore someone who has been cursed or transfigured back to his or her original state” His answer rewarded their house 10 points.
“It’s also very dangerous” Willow said and Milo nodded “And why’s that Miss Park?” He asked softly “Their cry is fatal to anyone who hears it” Willow responded promptly “Precisely, another 10 points to Gryffindor. Now, these are still too young, put your earmuffs on, and only take them off on my sign” They nodded and followed his instructions.
With a wave of his Palisman, 100 or so pots with quite unremarkable plants came marching from the backdoor and were placed in a very old and resistant wooden desk in front of them. Milo put a pair of pink fluffy earmuffs over his own ears; he grasped one of the plants firmly and pulled hard.
Luz gasped, instead of roots, a small, muddy, extremely ugly baby popped out of the earth, leaves growing right out of its head. Professor Milo plunged the plant, which was clearly bawling at the top of its lungs, deep into a pot. He gave them the sign and they removed their earmuffs.
“Since they are only seedlings, you wouldn’t die if you hear the cry” He said calmly as if he had said that sunflowers followed the sun “But you can expect to be knocked out for several hours if you happen to hear it” Milo instructed them to repeat the process with all the Mandrakes in the greenhouse, as well as warn them to be careful around the venomous Tentacula.
Gus, Luz and Willow were joined by a girl Luz knew only by sight. “I’m Amelia Asthas” She was Hufflepuff with cropped green hair, she happily greeted them and the four proceeded to do their task. They made some small talk, Amelia talked about her fears and how useful her father would see having a fully trained witch in the family can be.
Milo made the work look easy, but it wasn’t. The Mandrakes didn’t want to be pulled out of the earth but didn’t want to be re-planted either. They squirmed, kicked and flailed the students with their sharp little fists. By the end of the class, everyone was sweaty, aching and covered in dirt. One quick stop at the castle for a wash and off to Transfiguration the Gryffindors went.
Professor Moncullus's class wasn’t on the easy spectrum of subjects as Transfiguration was, by far, the most difficult class they had – Followed by Potions. The task seemed simple enough: Transform a beetle into a button, but most students only managed to give their beetles a lot of exercises, as they constantly tried to run away from their Palismen.
As if things weren’t bad enough, Luz’s Palisman wasn’t working properly, the damage received by the Whomping Willow seemed to be beyond anything she could do. It kept sparking at odd moments and even dragged Luz around the room, not responding to her commands.
Luz got stuck inside the room for a few more minutes after everyone left because every time she tried to get through the door her staff reacted strangely, engulfing her in a bright yellow aura and she would unintentionally dash back to the middle of the room “Oh, come on!” She yelled after trying more than 10 times.
After a few more attempts and Luz finally made it to lunch, only to find out that they would have DADA in the afternoon “Por Dios, today is not my day” Luz said grumpily. Outside, on the school grounds, while Gus daydreamed of having a class with such a famous author, Luz suddenly realised she was being very closely watched.
A short girl with orange hair, pale skin and a nose bigger than the average was looking at her from a short distance. She was clutching what looked like an ordinary muggle camera.
She went bright red when Luz looked at her, but packed up the courage to approach her “Good aftewnoon… I’m Tinella Nosa '' Luz remembered seeing her in the sorting ceremony the night before “I’m in Gwyffindor too… Do you think that would be okay if… Can I have a picture? So I can pwove I met you'' The girl talked a lot in rapid succession, explaining a bit of herself.
Tinella didn’t know about the magical world until the letter from Hogwarts, like Luz but unlike her Tinella didn’t have a wizard or witch as a parent, Luz wondered where she got her magic from. Not only that but Tinella seemed to be very excited and planned to take as many pictures as possible to send back home.
“Maybe one of your fwiends could take it… I couwd stand next to you and maybe you couwd sign it?” – “Everyone, queue up! Luz Noceda is giving outside photos!” Boscha’s voice echoed around the courtyard. The girl stood behind Tinella, flanked by Skara and Amity “I am not, shut up Boscha” Luz said, clutching her fists.
“You’re just jeawous” Tinella turned to the trio of Slytherins, the look Boscha gave her made the first year about as white as a paper “Of what? Having my head cut? Having a nasty green mark on my forehead? I pass thanks” Half of the courtyard was watching.
Things got a bit heated up when Willow stood up and Boscha mimicked the Howler she had received early that day. Skara stepped forward, frowning at Willow and a 4 witch battle was one last provocation away when both Amity and Gus pointed out that Jon De Plume was approaching them.
“What’s all this?” He asked “Who’s giving outside photos? Oh! Luz, we meet again” De Plume flung an arm around her shoulder. Pinned to the man’s side and burning with humiliation, Luz saw Boscha and Skara hide their Palismen and pretended to be just passing by.
“Come on, miss Nosa, a double picture and we both will sign it for you” The girl clumsily tried to take a picture, but ended up only taking one from the fountain behind her “What do people see in him? He is so annoying” Willow muttered annoyed “Yet Skara outlined all his lessons in little hearts in her timetable” Boscha said as a crowd of people approached eagerly to get a picture “Boscha!” Skara yelled, embarrassed.
The bell in the courtyard signed the start of the afternoon classes. De Plume disbanded the students and dragged Luz along as he walked inside the castle “Word of the wise Luz, I covered up for you back them with that girl” Once again, the words came out of his mouth but none really reached Luz.
“It’s unwise to give signed pictures at this stage of your career, it looks a tad… Big-headed” Jon gave a little chortle “I don’t think you’re quite there yet, but one day, maybe, just like me, you will need to keep a stack handy wherever you go” He only stopped when they reached the classroom, when Luz promptly found a seat in the back so she could stay as far away from his sight.
Once every student in the class was seated and had their book on their tables, De Plume cleared his throat loudly and silence fell. He reached forth and picked up Star Butterfly’s copy of ‘Travels with Trolls’ and pointed at his own moving portrait on the front “Me” He winked in synchrony with the moving picture.
"Jon De Plume, Order of Azura, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award - but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!" A few people smiled weakly at his attempt at a joke.
“I thought we’d start today with a little quiz, nothing to worry about, just to check how well you’ve read the books, how much you’ve taken in” He gave 30 minutes to finish. When Luz looked down at her paper she read.
- What is Jon’s favourite colour?
- What is Jon De Plume's secret ambition?
- What, in your opinion, is Jon De Plume's greatest achievement to date?
On and on it went over 3 sides of papers, right down to
54. When is Jon De Plume's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?
After the given time, De Plume collected the papers and rifled through them in front of the class “Tut, tut – hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac. I say so in Year with a Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully – I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples – though I wouldn’t say no to a large bottle of apple blood!”
De Plume’s expression suddenly became dark. He took from beneath his table a cage covered with a white cloth “Now... be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourself facing your own worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here...” With a showman's flair, De Plume turns slowly to the cage.
“I must ask you not to scream. It might provoke them” A pale Star draws back as Luz and Willow lean forward. De Plume then whips off the cover. Inside the cage are several electric blue creatures. Eight inches tall, with pointed faces and wings, they rattle the bars and pull bizarre faces at the students.
“Cornish pixies?” Gloria couldn’t hide a smile forming on her face “Freshly caught Cornish pixies” De Plume corrected. Unable to control herself, Gloria snorted with laughter “Laugh if you will, Mrs Ironsmith, but pixies can be devilishly tricky little blighters. Let's see what you make of them now!” He opened the cage.
It was pandemonium. Instantly, the pixies rocketed about, spraying the students with ink bottles, breaking windows and shredding books. Two seized Star by the ears lifted her into the air and hocked her in the candelabra above them. The students took shelter under the table “Come on now, round them up, round them up. They're only pixies!” The spell he tried to use “Peskipiski Pesternomi!” Had no effect and one of the pixies seized his Palisman and threw it out the window.
The bell rang, and a mad rush of students left the classroom instantly, followed by De Plume himself “I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage” a sudden loud snap and Star fell from the ceiling as the candelabra gave away “Why is it always me?” She groaned in pain.
Painful minutes later, the four Gryffindors left the room, their tunic shredded and their fingers aching from the pain of the bites. Later that same day, they overheard Boscha and Skara arguing “He just wants to give us hands-on experience” Said Skara defensively “Hands-on? Skara, that moron had no idea what he was doing, he dropped a cage full of pixies. If it wasn’t for Amity’s Immobilus, they would have torn the room to pieces” Skara continued to argue with Boscha, defending De Plume based on his feats in his books.