Chapter 5
the potter fam
emmeline: god tinder is dismal
emmeline: why do only straight white guys who listen to the smiths and have a strange proclivity for holding large dead fish wanna date me?!?
peter: I KNOW RIGHT
peter: like all i want is a happy well adjusted person or couple who will accept that i’m poly and let me embroider us matching tee shirts is that too much to ask?!
regulus: wait emm you’re bi right?
emmeline: yeah why?
emmeline: oh please don’t be homophobic reg i was rooting for you
regulus: what? no i’m very very gay
james: woohooooooo
regulus: …ok then
regulus: but no, i was asking cause my friend from my stage production class saw you when she dropped me at the store and they think you’re really cute and like since you’re looking…
mary: ooh get it emm
emmeline: what’s their name?
regulus: pandora
regulus: want a picture?
emmeline: sure!
regulus:
emmeline: jesus christ yes please give them my number holy shit
regulus: done
remus: hey reg do you have anyone cute to set me up with?
sirius: me please me i’ll do anything
regulus: my friend barty is single
sirius: regulus arcturus black you are dead to me
Lily smiled down at her phone. Since the movie night the group had been hanging out quite often and texting almost nonstop. It was an unfamiliar feeling having this many people she felt truly comfortable around. Unfamiliar but certainly not unpleasant.
She was brushing her teeth when her phone buzzed again. She looked down and toothpaste dribbled out of her mouth as she smiled widely at the screen. It was Mary. Since the movie night Mary had been texting Lily quite a bit outside of the group chat and Lily would be lying if she said the butterflies didn’t flutter a bit whenever she did.
mary and lily
mary: 20£ says they’re dating by the end of the month
Her cheeks began to hurt as she typed out her reply.
lily: mary darling there are so many potential couples in that gc you’re going to have to be more specific
mary: i know you’re being condescending but i gotta say i like it when you call me darling
Lily’s face turned as red as her hair
mary: but i was referring to remus and sirius
lily: oh i’ll take that action
lily: rem is so stubborn there’s no way he’ll admit he even likes sirius platonically for at least a month and a half
mary: well sirius is so blindly confident he’s just going to keep throwing himself at remus and i know from experience it’s hard to say no to that
The smile that had made its home on Lily’s face for the last ten minutes faltered.
lily: wait you and sirius used to date?
mary: date is a strong word
mary: we were both hormonal teenagers who were super confused about our sexualities
mary: we went to a school dance together held hands in the hallways all that sappy stuff and then i kissed him once and he started crying and told me he was gay
mary: then i told him i thought i was bi and we just fell apart laughing
mary: so yeah he was my first kiss and my first boyfriend but it meant like nothing
Lily couldn’t help but feel that Mary was over-explaining as though she wanted to make it abundantly clear that she had absolutely no feelings for Sirius. It made her worry. Had she been too transparent with her jealousy? Had she made Mary feel she had to justify her close friendships?
lily: that’s really sweet actually
lily: nothing like a mutual coming out moment
mary: haha yea it really brought us closer
mary: marlene was super gay so he was the only one i could talk to about cute boys lmao
lily: how did you all get so close if you don’t mind me asking?
mary: i don’t mind at all
mary: after a few years of visiting at the group home james’s family asked if they could foster me so i moved in with them when i was thirteen
mary: him pete and sirius were already best friends and marlene was james’s mom’s best friends kid so she at first just sort of hung out with us out of obligation but then we all got really close
mary: when we were 16 sirius and reg moved in too so we’re basically all like siblings
Lily couldn’t help the sadness that rose in her stomach. She knew she had it easy growing up compared to Mary and Sirius but she never had siblings she felt really connected to. Petunia hadn’t wanted a little sister and she made sure Lily knew that. They hadn’t been close growing up but they’d at least been civil until Lily started coming to terms with her sexuality. Petunia had called her a freak and outed her to all their classmates. Her parents had grounded Petunia for a week but that was the exten of her punishment.
She loved being invited into this close knit chosen family but a part of her worried she’d always be on the outside. They’d all experienced so much together, first crushes, first kisses, graduations. She was the newcomer, the interloper and she couldn’t help the relentless feelings that sooner or later they’d realize she didn’t belong.
As if reading her thoughts Mary texted again.
mary: i know it can be intimidating
mary: this whole group of people who’ve known each other forever and have all these shared memories and inside jokes i know i felt scared i wouldn’t fit in when i first moved in with james
mary: but they are the kindest most wonderful welcoming people ever
mary: they wouldn’t make you part of the group if they didn’t think you’d fit
mary: and you fit with us lily <3
Lily would be lying to herself if she said she didn’t stare at that little heart for at least ten minutes.