Chapter 4
A searing pain jolted up Regulus’ body, but he kept strong. “This is what you were meant to do. This is your life.” This phrase repeated in his head like a broken record, and the voice saying it… Walburga Black. The pain continued, hot and blistering on his forearm. Theirs threatened to escape his eyes, and for a moment, he almost…regretted it. No. No, no, no, Regulus is now the heir and this is his life, is it not? He can not regret this. He does not regret this. After what felt like an eternity, but was probably just a minute, he walked back to his chair on shaky legs and sat down. He was in a trance for the rest of the evening, for when everyone else got their Marks, for when he talked to his family members, and for when he stayed goodbye to everyone and apparated back to his dorm. He laid down on his bed and looked up at the ceiling, a million thoughts drifting through his head, like clouds in the sky. He didn’t dare to look at his arm, but was grateful for the steady throbbing pain. Regulus felt that pain was something he constantly had in his life, whether emotional or physical. It was grounding. It almost felt as if he was a child’s balloon, constantly being pulled down in fear that he would float away, until the poor child lets go. And they never see the balloon again.
The next morning
Regulus woke up to find himself surrounded by four different boys, arguing amongst themselves animatedly in a whisper. He felt the sheets and noticed he wasn’t in his room. What the fuck could’ve happened and why is he in a different dorm? He sat up on his elbows and looked at the boys until one noticed he was awake. “Shut it you twats he’s awake!” That was definitely Remus Lupin’s voice. The rest of their eyes snapped to Regulus and then Sirius started speaking.
“Oh my god Reg! Are you alright? Does it hurt? What happened last night?”
“Wait- what? I don’t know, I don’t remember anything. Now move. I don’t know why I’m here but if mother finds out-“ He was absolutely erratic, bloodshot eyes with dark shades of purple and blue swirling under them, conflicting with his pale skin. Not to mention his hair, it was sticking out at every angle, his curls completely disheveled.
“She won’t. I’ve made sure Reg. And you really don’t remember what happened?”
“You came up here sobbing your eyes out and all bloody. When we opened the door you went straight to Pads- I mean Sirius, and he held you for two hours till you fell asleep.” James spoke in such a soft voice that Regulus wanted to scream.
“No! That can’t be true! You- you’ve kidnapped me!” He said, going to scratch his arm. Wait- why was his arm itchy? He looked down to see it wrapped in thick, white bandages.
“I need to change those Reg. It’s best if you look away. We could heal it since we don’t know how and we can’t show Pomfrey The Mark.”
“No. I want to see.”
Sirius carefully unwrapped the bandage and there it was. There were at least four mangled gashes across his Mark. All red and swollen, it looked like an animal did it. A waterfall of tears instantly poured out of his eyes.
“Oh Reg, please don’t cry. C’mere.” Sirius had that comforting big brother tone and he pulled Regulus into his warm arms. After he calmed down, he flung himself off of Sirius and got up, hastily wiping his tears.
“Reggie…”
“No. I’m leaving. This wasn’t supposed to happen. It never will. Not ever.” He exclaimed while straightening up his shoulders and getting his shoes on. “This is what you were meant to do, this is your life.” He kept repeating these same two lines as he walked out of the dorm and to his. They were true after all.
The previous night.
James
James woke up to the sound of banging on the door of the dorm room. It was incredibly late so he wondered who it could be. Not like any of them were sleeping well after tonight’s…events. He got up and called over Sirius, who appeared to also be wide awake. The banging continued, and as they approached the door, they also heard muffled sobs.
“Shit. That’s Reggie.” Sirius flung open the door to find a blood soaked regulus in a t-shirt and sweatpants. At first, the only thing James thought was “I’ve never seen Regulus in normal clothes. Huh.” But as soon as he collapsed into Sirius’ arms, nearly causing the pair to topple over, he stood stunned. Regulus hated Sirius, didn’t he? What was happening? He did notice that the younger boy seemed off after getting The Mark but that was to be expected. He moved his eyes over to Regulus’ arm subconsciously, and ran towards him when he noticed four bleeding marks. Fuck. Did he do this to himself? He always thought that Regulus wanted this, I mean, he certainly made it seem like it. With his “high and mighty’ demeanor, constantly looking down on others like they were a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of his italian leather boots. Of course, this could have all just been a facade, a big show put on to please his mother and father. Nevertheless, this wasn’t James’ business, so he quickly grabbed the nearest clean shirt he could find, doused it in firewhiskey, and pressed it to Regulus’ arm. He sucked in a sharp breath when Regulus just groaned slightly, he must’ve been used to the pain. At this point, Sirius was practically cradling Regulus in his arms, his face struck with a whirlwind of pain and shock. Then James instantly remembered something Sirius had told him when he showed up at the Potter’s house soaked and bloody.
“Mother, she- she used to lock us in a broom cupboard when she hit us and we bled, just so we wouldn’t fucking stain her marble floor.And I held Reggie, for hours sometimes, while he just cried and cried and cried, and all I could do was fix him up with a first aid kit I snuck into the cupboard and wait. It was torture to see him like that.”
James continued to apply pressure to Regulus’ arm until the bleeding finally slowed, then he sent Peter out with a cloak to go find something to wrap it up. There was no way he’d let Pomfrey see this. After around five minutes, he returned with a roll of bandages and some medical tape. Quickly, Remus properly wrapped Regulus’ arm. He was the only one who knew how to, plus he had done it a million times. Sirius then slowly removed his blood soaked clothes and replaced them with James’ fresh ones using a spell, Sirius unfortunately never had clean clothes since he was too lazy to bring them down to the elves. A few hours later, Regulus had fallen asleep along with Sirius, and only Remus and him were awake. Another thirty minutes and soon Remus was also out like a light. James tried to sleep but all he could think of were Regulus’ strangled sobs and his tear streaked face. They ran through James’ mind at the speed of light, and he accepted the fact that he wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon.
Regulus
“Pandora! Pandora! Let me in for fucks sake!” Regulus screamed while pounding at the door, his hand was already turning a bit red.
“Oh my god it’s three in the morning what do you-” She looked at his arm and his face and instantly knew what happened, bloody seers.
“Reg…” It came out as almost a whisper, barely audible over Regulus strained breathing..
“Don’t. Just fix this. Please Dora.”
“Alright then, go sit on your bed and unwrap the bandages.” Regulus did as he was told, wincing after peeling off the last layer, nothing he wasn’t used to. He waited for a moment, staring at his bare feet, until Pandora returned with a small bottle of pale blue cream that he was no stranger to.
“Okay Reg, you know the drill, put it on twice a day for a week.” She explained, and then she opened the bottle to tenderly apply the cream to his scars.
Three years ago
“Dora! Dora! Look! Mum had hit me too hard on my head so we had to go to hospital and they shaved my head to give me stitches! Isn’t it so cool!” The eleven year old was ecstatic as he spoke to a wide eyed Pandora on the train.
“Goodness! Your head! It's completely red! Let me fix it. I learnt how to make a healing cream from a house elf, she was very nice.” Pandora pulled out the cream bottle and lathered it on his head with as much gentleness as a child could have.
“There! Put it on twice a day for a week and you will be fine!”
“Dora.”
“Yes Reggie?”
“Can I sleep in your bed with you tonight?”
“Of course. Come on now, hop in.” And he did, snuggling up close to her and trying to forget his life and savor the last bits of sleep he would get.