Little Bits

Fate.

It was short word – only four letters long. But Lance found himself thinking about it more and more recently.

Did he believe in it? If he did, what did that mean for his life now that he lived in a castle spaceship? And if he didn’t, what did that mean for his life?

He wandered the halls one night, aimlessly brooding when he turned a corner and ran into Keith. Keith looked surprised to see him there and wary of another fight, but Lance couldn’t even pull himself out of his thoughts enough to make a teasing remark.

His silence seemed to unnerve Keith. “Are you ok, Lance? Why are you up this late?”

“Do you believe in fate?” Lance asked instead.

Keith blinked in surprise, but took the question seriously. “I don’t know; I’ve never really thought about it. Do you?”

Lance leaned back against the wall, throwing his hands up and sliding down to the floor. “I don’t know! If I do, then that means I’m destined to be up here and in over my head and my family is destined to lose me and not know what happened. But if I don’t, then I’m the one causing them all of this pain. Just me, I can’t blame anyone else.”

Keith sat slowly next to Lance. “Do you think they blame you?”

Lance shrugged. “They can’t, they don’t know what happened to me. They probably think I’m dead.”

“Do you blame yourself?”

Lance dropped his face into his hands. “I think I should.”

“Well that’s silly.”

That was a phrase that ranked pretty highly on Lance’s ‘Things I Doubt I’ll Ever Hear Keith Say’ list, and it was enough to shock him out of his melancholy. “What?”

Keith shrugged. “If you blame yourself for leaving, then you’re blaming yourself for joining a team to protect the universe. Your family might be sad, but they’re alive. Who knows what might have happened if we hadn’t been there to make sure that Galra ship didn’t destroy the planet?”

Lance found himself nodding along. “I suppose.” It did make sense – feeling bad about leaving meant that he felt bad about being a Paladin and he would never regret his bond with Blue. He gazed out of the window at the starry sky, unsure what to think anymore.

“Whether it’s free will or fate, that doesn’t change the fact that things happen,” Keith said, shifting to lean against the wall next to Lance. “Might as well not worry about it and just enjoy.”

“That’s surprisingly deep from you.” Lance couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice, but Keith didn’t seem to take offense. Together they sat and watched the stars.

Blast

It wasn’t the worst mission outlook they’d ever had, but it definitely didn’t look good either. Lance had a birds-eye view of the battlefield, so he knew how quickly it had gone downhill.

And he also had a perfect view of the Galra with the explosive device that was getting ready to take out his tower. He had been taking out some drones that were getting close to Hunk, so he didn’t have time to swing his gun around before the soldier would be at the base. He closed his eyes, sending an apology to his family – both of them – and waited to fall.

But when the explosion came, Lance was rocked but not taken down. Surprised, he looked down once he caught his balance and his breath caught in his throat.

Keith was there with the soldier – he had stopped the soldier before it could take out Lance’s tower.

Lance shouted his name and flew down the stairs as quickly as possible. Shiro asked what was going on, he said that they were going to need a healing pod soon. There were sounds of confusion from the other teammates, but Lance was focused on the red suit in front of him.

Thankfully, the Galra soldier seemed to have taken the brunt of the explosion but when Lance rolled the body off of Keith he saw that Keith wasn’t untouched. There was a nasty gash running down his face and he wasn’t moving. Lance quickly shot some drones that were coming over to investigate the explosion and picked up Keith to carry him to where the castle landed close by.

Keith was heavier than his small frame made Lance think, and he did not miss the irony of the cradling-in-arms roles being reversed this time. Lance pretended not to remember their previous bonding moment because he wasn’t sure how to feel, but Keith wouldn’t need to pretend to not remember this one. He sprinted past Allura at the doors and thankfully found Coran in the med bay, pod ready and waiting.

Over the next week, Lance found himself outside of Keith’s pod more and more often. He knew that their relationship had been shifting of late, but he hadn’t wanted to think about it. Keith in the pod meant Lance suddenly had all kinds of time to think about it. He didn’t know if he was nearing anything resembling a resolution to his storming thoughts, but he did know one thing.

Once Keith got out of there, Lance was going to have to kiss him.

Burden

For as often as Lance was in the med bay lately, he managed to not be there when Keith got out.

Even when he raced there alongside Hunk when they heard, he didn’t know what to think. He’d come up with a plan, but now that the moment was here he wasn’t sure he could follow through.

When they skidded into the med bay, Keith was leaning slightly on Shiro and smiling at Pidge, who seemed to be berating him. Good, Lance might not have to do that part.

He looked up and Lance’s breath caught in his throat. There was a scar running down the right side of his face, but that didn’t deter from the happy expression that took over. “Good, I’m glad you’re alright,” Keith addressed Lance.

“Yup,” he said with forced brightness. “Fit as a fiddle, thanks to you.”

Keith smiled and thankfully looked away before he could see Lance’s own smile falter at how that threw Keith’s new scar into sharper relief. That was because of him.

As the conversation died down and Keith claimed that he was famished, Lance made a quick exit to dwell on his feelings of guilt. It was his fault that Keith had that scar, that he had to spend a week in a pod.

Okay, Lance realized that he wasn’t thinking entirely clearly – it’s not like he threw the explosive at Keith or anything – but his confused mental state meant that he didn’t have as much control over his thoughts as he might have wanted. Before the turmoil could end, he heard a voice call out, “Wait up!” Turning, Lance saw Keith jogging to catch up with him.

“Are you alright?” Keith asked, obviously concerned. Lance couldn’t help but remember his recent resolution to kiss the man, but he didn’t think that he could go through with it now.

“I’m sorry,” Lance blurted instead. “I’m sorry that you felt like you had to save me – it’s my fault you have that scar now. You were just doing your job, but you shouldn’t have had to save a fellow Paladin.”

Keith looked shocked. “Lance, that’s not what I think at all. I didn’t think that it was just my job – I think of you as much more than just a fellow Paladin.”

“Yeah,” Lance grumbled, looking away. “Now I’m a burden on top of that.”

“Holy God, Lance,” Keith breathed, sounding exasperated. Before Lance could ask what was wrong now, Keith placed both hands on Lance’s cheeks to turn his face back and smashed his lips into Lance’s.

Belong

Keith was avoiding him, but Lance knew that it was mostly his fault. When Keith had kissed him, Lance had frozen. Keith had taken that like any reasonable person would and fled the scene. As he watched Keith walk away, Lance raised a hand to his lips and lamented that he hadn’t kissed him back.

Two days later, Lance had yet to corner the guy and was considering restoring to drastic measures. What those measures might have been, though, Lance never did figure out because he didn’t have a chance to start thinking about them before Keith appeared at his door. 

Lance had expected Hunk to be the one knocking at his door this late at night, so when it was Keith all Lance could do was stare. Keith was visibly uncomfortable, and Lance’s silence wasn’t helping anything. 

“Look, I’m sorry,” Keith spoke first. “I understand if you hate me now, but I don’t want to lose the friendship so please just let me know what I need to do.”

Lance pulled him into the room and made him sit on the bed. As he sat next to Keith, Lance saw him stiffen and look down at his hands. Lance still wasn’t sure what to say, but Keith spoke first. 

“I’m an orphan, so I’ve never had a family before but being on this team has felt like a family and I don’t want to mess that up. Back when we were talking about Fate and whatever, you talked about your family and I think this is what it feels like. And I like it.”

Lance decided that speaking wasn’t going to be his strong point if he tried to respond to that so instead he mimicked Keith’s action from the other day and pulled their heads together for a kiss. This time it was Keith that froze up, but when Lance pulled away there was a smile on his face, no less beautiful where it made his fresh scar pull and pucker. 

“You haven’t messed anything up,” Lance promised him, smiling back. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while now, but the other day you surprised me and I didn’t get myself together in time. If you want to keep doing that, I promise to pay better attention next time.”

Keith laughed. “You say that like I know what I’m doing. I just told you that I’ve never had a home before.”

“Well now you do,” Lance declared, lacing his fingers through Keith’s. “And you belong here, right next to me.”

Babe

“I see you, Keith. You and your cute butt are in the clear.”

Keith snorted softly, but Lance could practically hear Hunk’s eye roll. “Lance, buddy, I’m happy for you and all but could you please keep the flirting to times when we’re not in the middle of a Galra base?”

“Sorry, buddy,” Lance responded. “I gotta make sure he hasn’t forgotten how I feel about him.”

“How could I forget after last night?” Keith responded, causing Lance’s face to heat up.

Hunk groaned. “Not you too. Can we please just finish this?”

Lance didn’t quite trust his voice yet, so he was glad that Keith responded. “Sorry Hunk, I’m almost to the console so we should be good to go soon.”

Lance refocused and scanned the area, but it didn’t look like any Galra had realized they were there. Keith plugged in Pidge’s device and downloaded the data without a hitch, so they both fell back to meet Hunk in Yellow.

Once they were out of danger, Keith placed a hand on Hunk’s shoulder. “Sorry again, Hunk, but I can’t just let him get away with it all the time.”

Hunk laughed. “Yeah, I get it. It’s good for him.” Lance huffed, which made the other two laugh.

“Don’t worry, babe, it’s because I care.”

“Gah,” Lance grunted, hiding his face in his hands. He was sure that he was in fact bright red and didn’t want to give Keith the satisfaction of seeing how well he could get flustered.

When they made it back to the castle, Keith delivered the device to Pidge and they both made their way towards their rooms to get cleaned up. In the elevator, Lance reached over and took Keith’s hand. “I like it when we work on a mission together.”

Keith smiled. “Me too, babe. We make a good team.”

Breathe

Keith was in the training room when Lance found him, cursing at something.

“You ok, darling?” he called out.

Keith scowled. “Fine,” he replied shortly, starting the gladiator up again to fight.

Lance frowned. He had been calling Keith a steady stream of different pet names ever since Keith had called him ‘babe’ and the names never failed to get a reaction out of the guy. Until now, apparently.

The gladiator knocked Keith back but before it could advance any farther Lance activated his bayard and shot it in the face. Well, face area. Did this thing have a face, really?

Keith looked over to him, and Lance held up his hands. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. What’s going on?”

Keith frowned down at his Blade of Marmora sword. “I can’t get used to this thing – it’s too different from my bayard.”

“Then don’t use it.”

“I can’t do that! It’s a weapon – we need all the help we can get!”

Keith looked like he was about to get back up, so Lance pushed him back down and sat next to him.

“You know, lovely, it’s in times like this that I like to think of a quote by the great Jimmy Buffett.” Keith gave him a look at the pet name, which Lance took to be a good thing, but that look changed to utter confusion at the name.

“Who?”

Lance looked over at him, askance. “You don’t know who Jimmy Buffett is?”

Keith looked at him blankly. “I have no family and lived in a shack in the desert, Lance.”

“Well, alright you have a point,” Lance admitted. “Jimmy Buffett is a singer – my Tía Esmerelda is obsessed with his music. There’s one song I really like though, and it’s called ‘Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On’. It’s good life advice.”

Keith scowled. “I can’t just move on, Lance–”

Lance held up a hand. “I’m not telling you to, peach.” Keith spluttered at that name, but Lance barreled on. “I’m just saying to breathe in and breathe out and take it easy on yourself. We’re alright, you’ll get it. Now try it.”

Keith took two very short breaths – in-out. Lance shook his head. “Not like that. In… and out…” That time, Keith breathed with Lance and he visibly relaxed. “Good. Now go beat up that gladiator, honey!”

Keith smiled. “Thanks, babe. Wanna help me out, sharpshooter?”

Lance hopped up with a grin. “I thought you’d never ask, samurai.”

Be

They did it. Lance still wasn’t entirely sure what happened, but Zarkon was finished.

After the initial celebration, no one knew what to do next. They had been fighting for so long that peace had started turning into a foreign concept – just a dream.

Lance was laying on Keith’s chest and they both were wide awake after the celebratory party. Everyone else had gone to sleep, but neither of them could. They both laid in their bed, breathing together and looking at nothing in particular. Lance grabbed one of Keith’s hands to look at with one of his own. They were both callused, the result of using their bayards. They were different people than they had been when Blue first took them away from Earth. What would his family think?

“I don’t know what to do next,” Keith admitted, pulling Lance out of his own thoughts.

“Well, I guess we’ll be able to go home.”

Keith huffed a breath and Lance felt it under his head, but he didn’t move his hand. “I don’t have a home to go to, Lance. I’ll probably just stay here. Maybe Shiro will keep me company, I can’t see him wanting to go back either.”

Lance let go of Keith’s hand and propped his chin up so he could look at his boyfriend. He didn’t look upset or anything, just pensive.

“Okay, first of all what the quiznack do you mean you don’t have a home? My mamá would take offense to that but I’ll let it slide since you’re just a feral desert child.”

Keith opened his mouth to protest but Lance placed a finger against his lips. “Nope, no arguing. You have a home – it’s the same as my home. And my family will love you – just be yourself.”

“I’m not even sure who myself is anymore,” Keith mumbled against his finger.

Lance didn’t have a response to that one because he had been thinking along the same lines. He wasn’t entirely reassured with his conclusion, but he hoped it could help Keith.

“Then just be.”