An Awkward Encounter
Thursday October 7, 1971
Fall was hovering above Marlene’s head, and the school year was already far enough where the teachers started to assign much more difficult work. The curriculum only got harder and harder, and Marlene was completely drained at the end of every day. At least she had her friends to make it just a bit easier for her.
Marlene decided she didn’t hate Lily, and that the girl was extremely generous and caring. Whenever Marlene was struggling with homework, Lily always jumped at the first opportunity to help her out. She tidied up their dorm and caught up with them at dinner. But she still spent most of her time with Snape, who Marlene and Mary both hated with a burning passion. They never said it to Lily’s face, though, hoping not to break her heart.
Marlene knew Lily had an older sister, Petunia, who hated the fact that Lily was magic. Lily hoarded letters to Petunia in her sweater drawer. She never sent them. The two girls were barely on speaking terms, and as much as the redhead had tried to reach out, her sister never returned the effort. She had stacks of letters that remained unseen by Petunia’s eyes, letters where Marlene was sure Lily had poured her heart into.
Lily had grown up around Snape, which is why the two were so close. They were attached at the hip, but Marlene couldn’t stand the prick. He was so awful and rude, and as much as Lily defended him, he was someone Marlene would never be able to come around to. Perhaps that was what separated the two girls from growing closer; the lack of time spent around each other because of Snape. Marlene didn’t mind it, though. They were close enough to consider each other friends. It was a quiet friendship, she supposed, and Marlene liked it that way.
Her friendship with Emmeline was much less silent than hers with Lily. Marlene enjoyed the time she spent around Emmeline. The girl loved to make bracelets, she loved chess and Potions class, and she was completely connected to her culture and religion. Not only that, but Marlene could tell how much Emmeline loved educating others about being Muslim. Whenever Marlene timidly asked a question, Emmeline answered enthusiastically, her words making Marlene’s embarrassment of her lack of knowledge wither away instantly. Emmeline very clearly loved teaching.
Marlene spent a lot of her days with Emmeline, and had learned plenty about her, including her family, her old school, etcetera. Emmeline was a brilliant girl. She was smart, caring, and outspoken in her views. Her tongue was sharp, and whenever someone made a comment, Marlene couldn’t wrap her head around how quickly Emmeline could think of one in return. But never once had Emmeline made a crude comment about Marlene or Mary or anyone she cared about.
While Marlene was close with Emmeline, her friendship with Mary topped it all. It seemed as though the universe had brought them together purposefully. Whenever Mary walked in, the room brightened. Her smile beamed at Marlene’s face, and everything was better. Marlene had shared her homesickness, her envy of Danny, her loathing towards her stepfather, and her absence of her father with Mary. Usually, Marlene’s talent for finding words to express her emotions was below average.
But Mary… somehow, when Marlene felt sad, and Mary would sneak in her bed at night to gossip, the words flowed off her tongue as though it was she was reciting a passage from a book. Mary was just so easy to talk to, Marlene couldn’t understand it.
It was clear to the rest of the students at Hogwarts, too, that Marlene and Mary were inseparable. Marlene genuinely couldn’t recall a time since she had met the girl on the train that they’d been in different rooms. Maybe whenever Marlene is in the bathroom, but Mary is always waiting outside for her, and vice versa. Marlene was quite fond of having a best friend. It was something she never really experienced all these years before, and now as she was currently experiencing it, she realized there was nothing better.
Charms class had just been dismissed, and Marlene separated from her two friends to use the restroom quickly. They offered to wait for her, but she dismissed them to lunch insistently. The girl rushed back to the Gryffindor common room, using the loo and hurriedly freshening up before stumbling out the door and down the stairs. But it seemed someone was in as much of a haste as she was.
Marlene and the anonymous figure clashed together, knocking both of them to the ground and on their backs. The two let out simultaneous groans, before Marlene stood up leisurely and looked over at who she ran into.
It was James Potter, she realized. His glasses had flown off his face and were upside down on the ground next to him. He patted around for them helplessly, and Marlene reached down and snatched them, carefully setting them in his hands.
“Thanks,” Potter said, perching his glasses on his nose. A grin split on his face, and Marlene reached a hand to help him stand up. He accepted, now standing directly in front of Marlene. She felt trapped. “Marlene, is it?”
“Yeah,” Marlene breathed out, gulping. He was taller than her by a few inches, and she stared at his disheveled hair and goofy grin. His teeth were white and straight, and they stood out against his brown skin greatly. “Yeah, I’m Marlene.”
“You alright?” James asked carefully, his face contorting to one of worry. “You seem a bit rattled.”
Marlene hummed. “I’m perfectly fine, yup. Thanks.”
It was quiet. James reached up and tangled his fingers through his hair, shaking his head and messing around with the dark brown mop on his head. Marlene felt like letting out a giggle, but she suppressed it. Mary was getting to her. Marlene tugged at her jumper, biting the inside of her lip.
“You know, I saw you flying yesterday,” James said suddenly, and Marlene looked up in shock. “You were excellent.”
“So were you,” Marlene wasted no time in saying, her words true. She really had seen him flying yesterday, and he was brilliant. Honestly, it intimidated Marlene. Yes, no one else had compared to James and Marlene; and yes, everyone applauded loud enough for the students in the castle to hear after Marlene had gotten done flying; but James was still better than her, and she hoped that she wouldn’t have to verse him in tryouts next year. He would surely win. “Will you be trying out for Quidditch next year?”
“You know it,” James said confidently, a cheeky grin evident on his face. “I hope you will. If me and you are on the team next year, then we’ll win the tournament for certain.”
“Let’s hope we both make it,” Marlene told him, visibly crossing her fingers. “I’ve been practicing forever, so if I don’t make it, I don’t know what I’d do with myself.”
“Well, if you don’t make it, you’ll just have to practice harder for next year's tryouts, right?” James said, shrugging. Marlene bit her lip. “But I’m sure you’ll make it. Just keep practicing. Are you heading to lunch?”
Marlene nodded.
“I’ll walk with you, then,” James said, starting to head down the stairs. Marlene stayed still, and he turned back to look at her over his shoulder. “You coming?”
Marlene rushed down at his side, and they made their way to the Great Hall together. On the way, they mostly talked about Quidditch, conversation flowing easily as they strode through the halls. Marlene wasn’t the type to stride, but James had an assured way of walking, long steps and chin up, his usual grin plastered across his face. They exchanged favorite teams, favorite players, how long they’ve loved Quidditch, who would win the championship this year, everything. Marlene felt herself thoroughly engaged in the conversation, just because James was so interesting.
They walked into the Great Hall together, and Marlene immediately spotted Mary and Emmeline sitting at the Gryffindor table, eating their lunch. Mary suddenly turned to look at the entrance, and she saw Marlene and James conversing, side by side. Her face mocked confusion, and then a smirk picked at her plump lips.
James waited for Marlene to sit, and she bid him goodbye as he joined his friends at the other side of the table. She watched as Sirius Black talked and gestured at Marlene, Remus Lupin letting out a snort as he did so. James just shrugged, and started serving himself food. Sirius sent a side glance at the girl, and Marlene quickly looked away, tuning in to her friends’ conversation.
“Why did you take so long, Marlene?” Mary asked, her voice accusatory. “And why were you with James Potter?”
“We bumped into each other,” Marlene shrugged, making herself a sandwich. “We also happened to be going to the same place, so we walked here together.”
“You definitely like him,” Mary stated, and Marlene nearly spit out the bite she just took. “I saw you blushing. Don’t you agree, Emmeline?”
“Totally.” Emmeline said, nodding, her brows raised. Marlene shook her head quickly.
“I don’t,” she said. Mary raised an eyebrow, as she always does when she doubts someone’s words, and Marlene repeated herself. “I don’t! I swear.”
“You were blushing,” Emmeline pointed out, and Mary nodded. “It’s alright if you do, no judgement here.”
“I swear I won’t tell anyone!” Mary promised, and oddly enough, Marlene believed her. Mary was probably the biggest gossip in their year; she knew everything about everyone, and immediately went to tell Marlene and Emmeline every piece of news she heard.
Despite this, Marlene knew Mary wouldn’t go around blabbing to every random student walking in the corridors that she had a crush on James Potter. Mary was the truest, bestest friend Marlene had ever had. She sincerely believed Mary wouldn’t share her secrets with others.
“Maybe just a bit,” Marlene admitted quietly, and Emmeline and Mary let out concurrent squeals. “But he mustn’t know! In fact, no one should. It’ll be our little secret, yeah?”
“Of course!” Mary agreed, nodding fervently. Emmeline copied her actions. Mary giggled. “Truthfully, I might have a tiny crush on Sirius Black, too.”
“Really?!” Emmeline exclaimed, a similar giggle escaping her lips. Marlene raised her eyebrows. “Oh my God, that’s comedic!”
“Why?” Mary asked, suddenly defensive. Emmeline only laughed. “He’s handsome and brilliant, alright? And he’s rich. He’s incredibly perfect. Have you seen him fly his broom, too? He’s nothing short of experienced in any field. He’s flawless, and the ideal boyfriend.”
Marlene made a face of disgust, and couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable. She’d never talked about boys to anyone before; not her mum, not a friend, not her brother, no one. It wasn’t a topic usually brought up in the McKinnon household.
Whenever Marlene’s mum would bring home a magazine, Marlene would skip over the surveys titled ’Answer these questions and this is the kind of husband you’ll marry!’ and would flip directly to the Quidditch section. It was always fascinating watching the figures dash across the page, her favorite Quidditch players moving magnificently as they scored.
So when Mary had suddenly started bringing up how handsome boys are, how good their hair is, or how pretty their eyes were, Marlene always felt a twinge of awkwardness. She never knew what to do with herself, so perhaps now that she was crushing on James Potter, Marlene might enjoy these types of conversations more.
The girls eventually wrapped up lunch and headed to class, the boring drone of Professor Slughorn sending Marlene into her own thoughts. She couldn’t help but ponder on Mary’s words.
He’s handsome and brilliant, alright? And he’s rich. He’s incredibly perfect. Have you seen him fly his broom, too? He’s nothing short of experienced in any field. He’s flawless, and the ideal boyfriend.
James was all of these things, certainly. But if there was such a thing as an “ideal boyfriend”, then there must be the same term but for a girlfriend.
If she was going off Mary’s standards of perfection, Marlene was none of the things she had listed. She wasn’t the best looking, despite Mary’s words of assurance and Lily’s constant compliments, Marlene nowhere near compared to her friends.
She also wasn’t that smart, either. She was quite average in school, in nearly every subject besides Astronomy. And she most definitely wasn’t rich; it was something she didn’t mind, honestly, as she didn’t know anything different. But sometimes it did bother her, sometimes she wished she could go out and buy as many clothes or accessories as she pleased. She couldn’t, though, and she’d just have to deal with it like she always had.
She was an excellent flyer, but not better than James, and Sirius certainly gave her a run for her money.
As she finished running through the list, Marlene decided what she had already known; she was incredibly flawed, and she was not the ideal girlfriend. It wasn’t as though she was going to date at eleven years old, though, anyways.
She hoped that in a few years she would change, that she would grow to become more gorgeous and more smart. She wished people would love her as they do James and Sirius, that she was popular enough to make up for her poverty. She just hoped she could be enough, she presumed.
These thoughts troubled her greatly, and she opted to abandon this list and focus on the potion she was busy brewing with Mary, Parkinson, and Bulstrode.