Kakashi cried in his sleep, hearing the ancient words of Youth ring in his head. His head then exploded, the power of Youth being too much for his feeble brain. And so he became the-boy-who-lived, off to save the world from the evil yucky danger noodle man. In a shocking turn of events, he accidentally comes across a mysterious cave in the forest, joined by his friend Obito, where he befriended this weird old man called Madara and Zetsu and -omg- they decided to crycrycry 😯. Zetsu had a strange addiction to oreos, and decided to wage war against Nabisco because they are plagiarizers and idiots. Nabisco the yucky yucky cookie brain rot ipad baby company that they are, decided to watch cocomelon while making the cookies and they ruined the cookies with yucky spit. Zetsu now decides to inflict cocomelon onto Nabisco and also Madara and Kakashi and both of their ears start bleeding. When their ears start bleeding Bakugo suddenly appeared and made their ears go boomboom and bleed more because blasted eardrums. But then Midoriya uses his power of bean to turn Bakugo into beans, then starts confessing his undying love and hatred and very complex emotions to him. All of a sudden, a man with green hair and a sword stuck between his ass cheeks stumbles across the scene. "Where tf am I?", he asks. “You’re in wonderland,” Gojo the clown tells him, running away from having to pay his child support. "What a deadbeat father!", Killua says, pointing at the tiny silhouette of Gojo flying in the sky. “Indeed,” Kaem says sagely, stroking their nonexistent beard and showering Snowy with snow so they won’t melt into a sad puddle like Olaf and the rest of their brethren that Kaem made with Jor. “I’ve been abandoned again!” cries Naruto, cursed to never have a living parental figure again. The power of his angst triggers the kyuubi to explode out of his stomach, destroying Konoha and attracting a horde of wattpad and ffnet writers desperate to make this into a harem fic. The harem is Naruto's lady form clones. (Sexy no jutsu) Like a realistic fanfiction, Naruto suffers from an existential crisis because if you had clones that looked like a female version of yourself YOU WOULD CRY TOO. Imagine having an existential crisis over gender that couldn't be naruto ofc not it's not like gender is just a figment of social construct i think idfk. At this point, everyone in Konoha is insane and so are the authors, because they have all been chugging cult juice and caffeine and then Naruto die by falling off the Hokage tower. I have apple juice and a mixture of coffee and orange juice (I freaking dare you to edit this) do not test me and Naruto suffers because gender yay! I thought Naruto was dead now, but okay, Naruto has now turned into a girl called Naruki and she is crying because Sasuke-kun won’t pay attention to her. Naruto is in constant emotional pain. (emotional damage no jutsu) “ pain all ik is pain and damage of all kinds im overheating im so hor but not in the good way bc summer yuck sweat” - baruto. You know what’s overheating my laptop and probably Naruto. hot pain sweat is all i can deacribe summer. Kakashi suddenly comes in and pours a bucket of water on Naruto in a sad attempt to cool him down but it only drowns him to death.
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. we will not span the enyire never hon give u up hy rick astley so onto the bnha verse and all the fucking head cannons u want.