i wanna be yours

Somewhere in the NYU dorms in Greenwich Village circa 1994

There have only been two times when Regulus Arcturus Black had been particularly unsure of himself. The first, being when Sirius decided to get Regulus JNCO jeans as a joke but lied and acted like his intentions were genuine. Regulus, in pure shock at the size and width of the jeans, paid Sirius no attention and tried on the jeans, genuinely confused about if he looked good or not. 

He didn’t. 

No one did. They were JNCO jeans for god's sake. The other time was about 45 seconds ago, when the awful or lovely (Regulus has not decided yet) James Potter decided to look at Regulus with a smirk. Now, Regulus Black may be indifferent, but he was only human. He felt his heart race and his knees weaken the moment his silver eyes met hazel eyes.

What does this mean? What does he do? Regulus cannot think right now. He needs something, something influential. He needed alcohol. He left before he could hear whatever Remus was going to say and walked straight to the bowl of punch. A mix of kool-aid and cheap vodka was apparently Regulus’s new vice. He filled the solo cup to the very brim and drank it all in one go. He felt the cold liquid course through his veins and felt the need to woo. But, alas Regulus did have standards. He may potentially go through a minor insignificant crisis but he will never woo after drinking. He’s better than that. His scheduled breakdown/crisis wasn’t supposed to be for a week, but thanks to James Potter and his stupid, pretty face; it’s now at a party. He’s not sure what to do next, but decides he will not be going near James Potter for the rest of the night. He will not take any chances. He stumbles back to Pandora, Dorcas, Evan, and Barty who thankfully have moved away from his brother’s group. 

“We are not talking about what happened.” Regulus clarifies before anyone can say otherwise. 

“Oh but, Reggie, we need to. You want to tell us what the fuck happened between you and Potter there? Or what do you want to happen between the two of you?” Dorcas questions as she smiles, turning to invade Regulus’s personal space and poke his cheeks. 

“Nothing happened, absolutely nothing. James Potter has no effect on me and I most definitely have no feeling towards that man.” He refuses immediately.

“Dorcas never said anything about liking him or the effects of him.” Evan muses.

Regulus is quiet for a second and then speaks up like he needed a second to rebuttal, “I know, I’m just clarifying before any of you get ideas, plus Evan don’t you have your own love life, courting, or whatever the fuck you want to call it issues.”

“Aha! So you do admit James Potter is a part of your love life!” Barty yells as if he’s just withdrawn information from a hardened criminal.

“No no no, that’s not what I meant and you know it! Plus you just missed the point I made about Evan!” Regulus exclaims.

“What does Evan’s love life have to do with me?”

“You imbecile! How the fuck are you this oblivious?”

“Enough, Let’s dance!” Pandora interjects. 

Regulus hears the music switch from rap to TLC and decides this is the perfect time to dance. Maybe he could dance with a few guys. Just for fun, of course. 

It not like he’s homophobic, his friends are gay, his brother’s gay, and his brother’s best friend boyfriend-not-boyfriend is too. It’s just he doesn’t know. I mean he’s never been particularly interested in girls. He never understood why guys would go so crazy when girls would wear lipgloss, flip their hair, bat their eyelashes, or chew gum. He really hated it when girls would touch his arms and try to hug him. He never was interested. Come to think of it, he has never had romantic feelings for any girl. All this time, he just thought he had to wait for the right person. He’s only ever liked two people. Aunt Becky from Full House, and now James Potter. Does staring at Fabian Prewett that one time in calculus, because he helped him count? Then it’s three. Four if you count blushing at Benjy Fenwick when he saved Regulus from falling down a flight of stairs during finals week. Honestly, Regulus should really watch where he’s going. Shit, he was gay wasn’t he,? Or at the very least, attracted to boys. It's okay, because he doesn’t need to know right now. What he needs to do is take a shot, dance to TLC and stop panicking and reminiscing.

He takes a shot of shitty tequila and moves his way to the middle of the dance floor, which is technically the living room. He hates being in the middle of sweaty bodies but right now Regulus does not care. All he cares about is moving to the beat of whatever R&B song is playing right now and drowning out his thoughts with music, dance and alcohol. It feels like it’s been minutes since he started dancing but his feelings are wrong. Regulus had been dancing and refilling his drink for about three hours at this point. He knew his friends were gone; they told him they were taking a cab home and attempted to take him with them. But Regulus wasn’t having any of that. He was nearly going to cry if he couldn’t continue dancing. It was fun. So much better than high school parties where everyone’s grinding on every person or object they can see. He promised Pandora that he would get home safely with Sirius, but he’s not so sure that is happening now. 

Sirius had gotten quite drunk and needed to go home since he clearly could not hold his liquor. Unfortunately for him, Remus was the lucky man who had the opportunity to take his dear Padfoot home. Remus apparently had talked to James telling him that he needs to take Regulus home safely. And of course James agreed, it was his best friend’s brother. How could he say no? James had sporadically been watching Regulus throughout the night. It looked like was enjoying himself without looking uncomfortable when sandwiched between two people while dancing. He was glad that Regulus was having a good time. It did look like Regulus was getting a little too tipsy. What is it with Black brothers and horrible alcohol tolerance? Maybe it’s a family thing?

He approaches Regulus and slowly phases him out of the crowd of people they both are in. He leans down just enough that his mouth meets Regulus’s ear and whispers, “Okay, Reggie, It’s time to go home..” He notices a slight blush on Regulus’s face and assumes it’s just the alcohol he’s been drinking. 

“Oh. Um, okay.” He says quietly, frowning.

“I should tell Sirius to bring you next time we have a party. You seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

Regulus blushes again, “You were watching me?”

James smiles brightly, “Obviously, you’re my best friend's baby brother. Gotta make sure you’re safe now, don’t I?”

“Oh. Right.” Regulus frowns slightly before looking neutral.

“So…we should go now.”

“Yeah, we should.” Regulus looks deflated unlike how he looked before.

Was Regulus disappointed? Yes but he would never admit it. I mean he didn’t even know him. He just liked how his hair was fluffy, how his eyes glimmered in the pale moonlight, and his silver circular glasses. He felt himself leaning against a streetlight waiting for the light to flash to the walking sign. See, he could jay-walk but he wanted to be with James a little longer. A man he met four hours ago should not have this effect on him. It’s pathetic, truly. 

“How’s high school Reggie?” James asks. This is his idea of small talk. Reminding Regulus that James is out of reach. The nickname too. That needs to end. Now. 

“Don’t call me that. High school is fine. Perfectly fine.” Regulus snaps quietly an a little harsher than intended.

“Sorry, I thought you would be okay with it because I called you that earlier. Anyways, have a partner or anything?” He asks sheepishly

“Things change, James and also I am 5’6, like to read, and enjoy philosophy. Do I look or sound like I have a girlfriend?” Regulus says louder this time with annoyance dripping from every syllable.

“I mean guys are still open, right?” suggests James. What is up with this man?

“That is also a no for literally all the reasons stated above. Thank you for making me more aware of my loveless life. Since you seem to be such an expert, tell me do you have a partner?” Regulus is getting annoyed and starts walking a little faster. Regulus does not realize he just discreetly asked James if he was dating. He does not need to be reminded of his loneliness.

“I do indeed have a partner!” James’s face lightens up quickly, more bright than it was ten seconds ago. Regulus wishes he could make James look like that. Nonetheless, Regulus’ heart sinks. He doesn’t know why he put so much faith in a guy he literally just met. On top of that, he doesn’t even know if he’s gay. He knows he definitely likes guys but labels aren’t really Regulus’ speed. 

Was all of this in his head? Was James flirting with him or was James just a flirty person in general? He feels his eyebrows creasing up and his paces getting faster.

“Her name is Lily. Oh Regulus, she’s beautiful, just beautiful. Her hair, it’s the most gorgeous shade of red. And her eyes. Oh my god, her eyes. If you could see her, you would love her. You guys should totally meet. Wait, why are you walking so fast? Does drinking make you faster?” James rambles. Regulus wants someone to speak about like that. James or not, he wants someone to be hopelessly infatuated with him. He feels his eyes sting and his nose starting to get runnier. He decides now is a good time to start jay-walking and start power walking home before he just starts to cry. 

“She sounds lovely, James.” He lets out weakly. He turns to his streets, and slows down just slightly.

“She really is, and she’s smart. Took me a while to date her. She rejected me three times before she said yes, and we’ve been dating since.” James recalls looking helplessly in love. Regulus wants to drown himself in the Hudson River. 

“This is my apartment. It was nice meeting you, Potter.” Regulus curtly says while fumbles with his keys. 

“Do you want me to do that for you?” James asks, and takes the keys out of Regulus’s hand and opens the door for him. Oh my god, why does he have to be so nice? James had just done the bare minimum and it felt like Regulus was melting. What the fuck was James Potter doing to him? Whatever he was doing he needed to stop. It’s not fair that he has a girlfriend. Regulus really needs this door to open so he can go face plant on his bed and cry and scream. 

-

“A raging dick I tell you.”

It’s 1 in the afternoon. Regulus, Dorcas, Barty, Pandora, and Evan are standing in line at a Starbucks. Their heads hurt, feet feel broken, and ears feel sensitive and to top it all off, over the counter pain meds don’t do shit. 

Of course Regulus, Dorcas, Barty, Pandora, and Evan being themselves, all of their orders are unique.

Regulus gets a Venti Iced Americano using a Ristretto shot style, with 4 pumps of toffee nut syrup. 

Dorcas gets an extra hot Venti Matcha with whole milk, light foam, and substitutes sugar for a honey blend.

Barty gets a Venti Caramel Frappuccino with whipped cream at the bottom of the cup, extra caramel, 2 shots of espresso, and extra whipped cream at the top. 

Pandora gets a Venti Salted Caramel Cold Brew with a caramel drizzle, with two pumps of toasted nut syrup, and 1 pump vanilla syrup. 

Evan, like the angel he is, gets a Venti Caramel Macchiato with no add-ons, because he feels bad for the workers. 

“Barty, that's disgusting.” The barista laughs. Evan thinks she’s objectively pretty, but he’s prettier.

What? It’s true.

Evan is pretty, handsome, show-stopping, whatever you want to call it. The thing is, point, blank, period Evan is attractive. And not just attractive, like hot. He’s a desirable man. And he’s sweet. His mom used to call him an empath, because he always knew how everyone felt and how to help them. He wishes someone would do the same for him. Read him and just talk. Just someone who would drown out his insecurities or worries with random anecdotes, or sweet nothings. In full transparency, Evan truly thought that person for him was none other than Bartemius Crouch Junior. He and Barty had this joking friendship where they would flirt and make out occasionally, and at times Evan would forget that it’s all fake. It’s just a dumb little act they play to bother their friends. Regardless, he didn’t need to be in a romantic entanglement to think Barty was his person. It didn’t matter if he and Barty were platonic or romantic. The fact would remain the same: he loves Barty. Evan would give up anything for him, he would die for him. But that’s the way it is when you form an emotional attachment onto someone who you now consider your person. Evan wouldn’t dare to threaten the bond they have with a petty romantic feelings.

“What can I say, I love sweet things.” Barty shrugs before continuing, “In fact, why don’t you write down your number on the cup and I can show you clearly just how much I love sweet things?” He smirks leaning against the counter, leaving the poor girl blushing and writing her number on the clear cup next to Barty’s name with a small heart next to it. Evan starts tapping Barty’s shoulder signaling that he should stop. Barty listens immediately with dazed eyes and Evan. 

Barty, too, would die for Evan. He would do anything for Evan. He means it. If Evan asked if their innocent practice kisses would become real meaningful ones, Barty would say yes in a heartbeat. If Evan asked Barty if it would be okay if his lips were on Barty’s neck he would say yes. For Evan he would say a hundred times. All he had to do was ask.

“What did James do?” Dorcas rolled her eyes. Barty snaps up confused and then remembers what they were talking about when they entered the coffee shop: James Potter being a raging dick.

“Don’t say his voice too loud, what if he randomly shows up?” Regulus worries, eyebrows knitting up.

“Wait does this mean you’re gay?” Evan asks.

“I don’t know!” 

“Continue what you were saying about James.” Pandora complains, whispering James’s name.

“He basically flirts with me all night, or at least what I thought was flirting which made me feel weak in the knees, walks me home when I was kinda sorta drunk, and then tells me he has a girlfriend. A. Fucking. Girlfriend. I was about to turn and drown myself in the Hudson!” Regulus fumes.

“Bro, don’t drown yourself in the Hudson, that shit’s nasty. Find a different body of water.” Evan responds thoughtfully. He was not letting Regulus die in the Hudson. If he were to drown might as well do it somewhere nice. Perhaps, in the Caribbean? 

“Noted.” Regulus said seriously, taking Evan’s suggestion into consideration. Evan wasn’t wrong. The Hudson is disgusting. 

“Wait, I thought you were going home with Sirius and Remus?” Pandora recalls.

“I was, but Sirius got shitfaced and Remus had to take him home. He asked if I wanted to come along, but I said no. One, because I don’t want to be in close proximity to a drunk Sirius Orion Black. Two, I wanted to dance.” Regulus says as he posture straightens.

“So, that’s why James walked you home?” Dorcas adds. 

“Precisely. He told me that he had to make sure his best friend’s baby brother gets home safe. It would’ve been nice if Sirius wasn’t referenced and I was referred to as a variation of Baby Black.” 

“At least he walked you home?” Pandora tries to alleviate the situation.

“At what cost? I think I was jay-walking more than I normally do.” Regulus says unamused.

They get their drinks and exit the shop, and start walking around randomly. The coffee is so good, what the fuck.

“Do you guys want to continue walking around or go back to Reg’s?” Dorcas breaks the silence.

“What?! Why mine?” Regulus groans.

“It’s the closest from here. It’s like 10 minutes, 8 minutes if we walk fast.” Dorcas says bored.

They talk about random shit. At one point Evan and Dorcas argued about which Led Zeppelin album was better. They get to the building and take the elevator up to the third floor. All five of them squished in a tiny elevator meant for three people on a good day. Regulus fumbles with his keys again but gets the door open. What he sees will be forever burned into his brain. 

“ON THE COUCH, I SIT THERE SIRIUS!” Regulus wails, because why the fuck is his brother and roommate he would consider to be a friend making out on the couch intensely. He hears Barty laugh and from the corner of his eyes sees Dorcas whack him. He loves Dorcas. Remus scrambles to get himself off of Sirius and clears his throat. 

“Reg. It’s not what it looks like. He was just…fixing my hair that was stuck in my earring. Yeah, fixing earrings.” Sirius says looking likes convincing himself more that Regulus.

“With his lips?” Regulus rebuttals and Evan laughs.

“The entourage is here. Oh my god, why?” Sirius groans.

“Not an entourage.” Pandora clarifies, clearly bored with Sirius.

“I literally do not care what you do, just don’t do it in the living room, do it in your rooms. Is that such a hard thing to ask for?” Regulus complains, annoyance and attitude dripping off of every word.

“So you don’t care if me and Remus make out, as long as it’s in our rooms?” 

“Yeah. You have to do the dishes for the next week though. It’s for making out on the fucking couch. That we all use, might I add.” Regulus responds bored.

“Whaaaaat??? Why doesn’t Remus receive any punishments? He was taking part, actually he was a vital part of the making out.” Sirius argues. Barty chokes on his whipped cream which is from his heart attack of a drink. Evan rubs his back as Barty coughs. Both Sirius and Regulus side eye him. 

“Just for saying that, you’re doing my laundry too. Remus doesn’t have to do anything because I like him, and you probably seduced him. Honestly, I was just going to ask him to buy me Anna Karenina.” Regulus says looking at his nails. Remus smiles.

“I did not seduce him. I simply charmed him with my personality.” Sirius says.

“See, I know that’s a lie, because you have a horrible personality.” Regulus articulates. Dorcas splutters an ugly laugh causing Barty to laugh and start choking again. Both Black brothers glare again. It’s freaky how they’re so in sync. 

“You’re so annoying. I agree to the terms, not happily may I add. Also, Moony would never buy you that book.” Sirius says, accepting his fate. 

“Actually I quite liked that book, and I wouldn’t mind getting Regulus the book.” Remus hums thoughtfully. Regulus smiles.

“Are you strategizing with the enemy?” Sirius gasps dramatically. 

“Oh, shut up. And for your information this is why I like Remus better.” 

Dorcas moves first and the rest, minus Regulus, follow her into the house, rather than the doorstep where they witnessed that whole scene. The five of them walk into the kitchen.

“Hey Reg, why is there cooked food in your kitchen?” Dorcas questions.

“Huh what?” They never have food made early. They always scramble an hour before to make something. 

“There’s like a tray full of stuffed shells here.” She explains. 

This doesn’t make sense.

“Sirius, why do we have food?” Regulus yells making sure his voice would get to whatever corner of the apartment Sirius is in. Dorcas winces at the annoying screech of a scream Regulus let out. She finds it funny how everyone is so confused on why the Black’s (plus Lupin) have cooked food. 

Sirius walks into the kitchen, “Oh James, Peter, and three other people are coming over at 2, so like 15 minutes from now. I made enough for you and your friends just incase they were with you.” Regulus smiles at the fact that Sirius cooked enough for the 4 other menaces next to him, but then remembers James Potter is coming to their apartment. What the fuck. He likes Peter. In all fairness, he talked to him twice, but Peter gave Regulus a chocolate chip cookie and it was really good. 

“Oh.” Regulus really is fucked.

“Ooo, so we get stuffed shells.” Barty wiggles his eyebrows. Sirius rolls his eyes. Regulus always forgets that Sirius has known Evan and Barty forever. They all weren’t friends yet, but they all knew of each other. 

Evan, Barty, and Regulus had become friends during their freshman year. Then they all slowly become friends with Dorcas and Pandora. Sirius left during his sophomore year (Regulus’s freshman year), without Regulus. Regulus was fine with it, because Sirius promised he wouldn’t leave Regulus even if they were no longer in the same house and would always help to him always. Sirius understood that Regulus couldn’t leave just yet. He understood that he wasn’t ready or brave enough to make a decision that would change his whole life. And Regulus understood why Sirius needed to leave. Sirius had endured it long enough, and it was a matter of time until he would’ve left. Regulus never resented Sirius for not taking him to their estranged Uncle’s house. Because in the end, Sirius was always there for him. Yes, things were awkward, but when it mattered, Sirius was there. The night Regulus left he went to Sirius’s apartment because he knew he would never say no. Sirius knew he was coming. Sirius was out of their parents house, but it didn’t stop them from interacting. They had met at a Panera Bread a week earlier, and Regulus had told Sirius his plan. Sirius was happy. Him and his brother, together once again. They were never on bad terms. Awkward terms, yes. 

They sit on the couch talking and avoided the seat where Remus and Sirius previously were sucking each other’s faces. Then the doorbell rings. 

James, Peter, and three girls walk in. The first girl with ginger hair, the second with wavy blonde hair, the third with loose curly brown hair. The third girl's necklace was beautiful. He couldn’t help but notice the strand of pearls around her neck. They were beautiful.

Dorcas’ jaw had dropped. She couldn’t stop staring at the second girl who had walked in with the wavy blonde, more like dirty blonde hair, if we’re getting technical. Barty pushes her jaw up. Dorcas scowled, pinching him in the side. 

“Why am I always getting abused by you guys?” Barty pouts trying to look cute.

“Are you pouting?” Evan raises his eyebrows looking disgusted. 

“I’m trying to look cute to gain sympathy from the four of you. Is it working?” Barty blinks.

Regulus examines the situation with faux interest and concludes, “Considering the fact that you just told us your plans. No. Either way, we would not have pitied you Barty.”

“You usually deserve it. Flirting with random baristas, provoking people, shutting peoples jaws. Barty, it’s honestly in your nature to be a menace.” Pandora adds. 

“That’s the kindest thing you’ve ever said to me ‘Dora. Oh how I love you. I wish you would tell my father this. It would make things so much easier if he accepted the fact that I will continue to piss him off until he stops trying to reform me” Barty walks over to hug Pandora. His last sentence said with a light sneer. She hugs back.

Evan notices that James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, and the other three have been looking at the five of them in amusement during that whole exchange. He blushes slightly.

Sirius clears his throat, “Why don’t I introduce you three to my brother and his friends? The five of them are a package deal.” Regulus rolls his eyes. Sirius quickly introduced the five of them to the three girls.

“Unless anyone objects, may I do the honors of introducing these beautiful women?” James smiles. Regulus wants to scream. James is just so lovely. 

“Sure Potter.” The blonde girl says. Dorcas is standing so still as if she’s turned to a statue.

“This lovely lady with the wavy hair is the one and only Marlene McKinnon.” James cheers. A name to match the face Dorcas thinks. 

“The only one with the beautiful curly black hair with the gold clips and the strand of pearls is none other than Mary McDonald.” The girl smiles a toothy grin and waves. 

“Now this one here is very special, especially to me.” James smiles as the red haired girl slaps his arm playfully. This couldn’t be the girlfriend, could it? Regulus discreetly steps back a few steps so he’s behind Evan, now only half of his body showing.

“The beautiful, clever, amazing, creative Lily Evans! My girlfriend!” James leans down and gives her a small kiss and wraps his arms around her waist. She was pretty, prettier than Regulus of course. Regulus felt his heart break into tiny pieces. His four friends realized and did little secret things only the five of them knew to try and comfort Regulus. He wished he was Lily Evans. There was nothing he could do about it. He’s not a home wrecker, or a slut. He wouldn’t get in the way of someone’s relationship, just because he couldn’t have one of them. 

“Nice to meet you all.” Regulus speaks, breaking the silence. He couldn’t show his feelings, so he puts on a neutral expression quickly. He would do that a lot when he was back there. He would mask the fear and anxiety with a cold, dead face. His silver eyes turned into steel. Sirius notices. His head snaps left looking at Regulus. Regulus refuses to look at Sirius, looks at James’s hand on Lily Evans' waist. He sighs and starts walking away going to his room. 

He hears Remus defending him saying, “He’s shy, give him time to come to you, or give him alcohol.” He hopes Sirius and Remus end up with each other. Remus gets him. He doesn’t pressure him, he listens, and most importantly he gives him a ride to school. He slightly laughs at the alcohol statement. Remus wasn’t entirely wrong.

“That motherfucker!” Barty screams as he enters the room. They definitely heard that outside, since he definitely hears murmurs from everyone minus Sirius and Remus.

“Shut up and stop talking about our teacher!” Evan says, screaming the last part making it look like the motherfucker was aimed towards Slughorn not James.

“But, I-“ Barty starts before Evan slaps a hand across his mouth. 

“So what are we going to do?” Pandora asked. 

“What do you mean?” Regulus is sad and confused. He putsReel Around The Fountain by The Smiths on. He sees Evan and Dorcas judging him.

“The Smiths, really?” Evan frowns. Dorcas nods along. Music snobs. 

“What I feel sad.”

“You’re listening to The Smiths while you’re sad. You are definitely gay.” Dorcas adds. Evans agrees with her. Regulus glares.

“It’s true, take it from me.” She argues. 

-

Sirius is confused. Why would Regulus neutralize his face? He hasn’t done that in awhile. It doesn’t make sense. Even Remus looks confused. As Regulus leaves with his friends to go to his room they both look at each other concerned. Remus quickly jumps into defend Regulus. He feels like Regulus is his younger brother too at this point. He knew what happened to both Black brothers, and he felt the need to defend them. Regulus is allowed to step away from human interaction if he wants to. If any of the five college students had acted negatively to the absence of Regulus’s presence, both Sirius and Remus would put them in their place. They all hear the loud “Thatmotherfucker!” coming from Regulus’s room. Then a few shuffles and then, what felt like a clarification to Remus, a yell from Evan slightly more loud telling Barty to stop talking about their teacher. Then he hears soft instrumentals of what he thinks is a The Smiths song. They all awkwardly look at everything but each other, either because of Regulus leaving or the motherfucker comment.

“That Barty, eh.” James says.

“Huh?” Sirius inquires. He loves James. He’s Sirius’s best friend, but if he said some shit against Regulus’ friends, Sirius would not hesitate to knock some sense in the man.

“He’s funny.” He quickly adds, making sure Sirius understands that James is not judging Regulus’ friends. 

“Yeah. Okay. We should start eating soon.” Sirius said, not as enthusiastically. Remus feels as if something is off with Sirius ever since the weird neutral face that Regulus randomly put on. Everything will be fine, right? They set the table, tension fading. Sirius tells Remus to get Regulus and the others to eat. He walks into see the five of them playing uno. Barty laying on Regulus’s bed with his feet dangling off the edge. Evan and Dorcas crying to The Smiths. Regulus is laughing and lecturing them, because he was apparently doing them same thing ten minutes ago, and the current pair of crying fools were making fun of Regulus. Pandora is laughing while drawing random patterns on Regulus’s arm with a green sharpie. Remus can’t help but laugh. It truly is a funny sight. They all stop to glare at Remus. Like they’ve practiced scaring people who intrude. They stop glaring when they realize who it is, and replace their current expressions with bored ones.

“It’s time to eat. You guys can come out now.” Remus says.

“Already did that.” Barty, Evan, and Dorcas say together.

“Not what I meant, but congratulations.”