Chapter 6
What does someone do when they lay their heart bare for someone, climb eight flights of stairs for them, kiss them, fuck them, split a pizza with them, only to be pushed out the door the next morning? Rio thought about it and decided —
No, they don’t cry. Not at first. They don’t beg, they don’t ask why not?, they don’t stand there like an idiot hoping the other will change their mind. No, they grab their jacket, hold their head high, and walk out like it doesn’t sting, like it doesn’t feel like a punch straight to the ribs.
And when they pass by Brooklyn Bridge on the way home, they don’t stop and stare too long. They don’t entertain the thought. They tell themselves that jumping isn’t an option – not because they’re noble or brave, but because they refuse to let that certain someone have the satisfaction of completely ruining them.
What they do is go back to their apartment. They kick off their shoes, glance at the half-packed boxes littering the floor, and remind themselves that none of this matters because they’re leaving anyway. They strip out of their clothes that still smell like the other person, like their sheets, their skin, their goddamn shampoo, toss them straight into the bin, and take a scalding hot shower. Then they grab a box of drugstore hair dye, stare at themselves in the mirror, and decide it’s time to go back to who they were before.
They allow themselves two days. Two days to wallow. Two days to drink straight from the bottle, to curl up in bed and watch documentaries like a masochist. Two days to spill wine on the sheets and not even bother cleaning it up because, well, they’re moving out anyway.
And then, on the third morning, when the alarm screams at them to move, they do. They drag themselves out of bed, zip up their suitcase, grab their passport, and step into a cab, because if they’re going to start over, they might as well do it on another continent.
“Are you sure you’re still here?” Lilia’s voice suddenly cut through, making Rio nearly drop her cup of tea. “You haven’t even left yet, but you already look like you’re somewhere else. Everything alright, darling?”
Rio forced a laugh, “Yeah. Sorry. Just had a little flashback of the place.” She glanced around the living room of her old landlady’s apartment, taking in the familiar mismatched furniture, the faint scent of lavender and freshly baked cookies. “I just can’t believe I’m finally going.”
Lilia gave her a knowing look. “Well, you worked your ass off for this. They were already stupid for taking so long to hire you. Would’ve been even dumber if they didn’t.”
Rio smiled, reaching for a cookie. “Keep talking like that and I might just start crying right now.” She took a bite, savoring the taste. God, she was going to miss this. The cookies, the home-cooked meals, the warmth of a place that had felt like home even when nothing else had.
Lilia tilted her head, studying Rio carefully. “You sure you’ve got everything sorted before you go? No unfinished business? No loose ends?”
Rio paused mid-chew and chuckled. “Why? Did I forget to pay you rent again? Because I swear I cleared all that years ago.”
“You know that’s not what I meant,” Lilia said, standing up and disappearing into her room.
Rio sighed. Of course, she knew. There was only one real piece of unfinished business left here, one door she hadn’t fully closed. And she had no intention of opening it now.
When Lilia returned, Rio dusted off stray cookie crumbs from her hands and said, “Well, you can finally get it disconnected. Nobody uses landlines anymore anyway. Just send me the bill, and I’ll wire you the money for all the trouble it caused you.”
Lilia scoffed and sat back down.
“If we’re being honest, you’re the one that thing’s been tormenting all these years, not me.”
“That’s why it’s time to cut it off,” Rio deadpanned. “No point in holding on to something that only causes trouble.”
Their conversation ended soon after. Before Rio knew it, her cab was waiting outside. She hugged Lilia tightly, already knowing she’d miss her old landlady more than she’d like to admit.
But just as she was about to leave, Lilia called her back. Rio turned, and when she saw the small, crumpled dollar bill in Lilia’s hand, her stomach twisted. It was the dollar bill with Agatha’s number on it. “How?” Her voice caught in her throat. “How did you get this?”
“Found it in the trash years ago. Figured I should’ve given it back sooner, but, well...you weren’t exactly in the right state of mind when you started throwing money away. So I kept it. Thought I might need it someday if you eventually stopped paying rent.” Lilia said, as if a single dollar could save her leggings empire from bankruptcy.
Rio didn’t say anything right away. She just stared at the crumpled dollar bill in Lilia’s hand, her mind tugged in two directions. She could remember that awful morning Agatha had practically tossed her aside. But instead, she thought of that night again, three years ago, the two of them dancing in the rain. The way they had been laughing, soaked to the bone, holding on to each other like the rest of the world didn’t exist.
Rio honestly wished she could go back, back to that moment when they were inches apart. When she should have just closed the gap. She really wished she had kissed her. Right then and there.
“I don’t know what to do with it anymore. Pretty sure I’ve got enough money lying around,” Lilia said when Rio still didn’t respond. She held the bill out a little further. “That’s why I’m giving it back. What you do with it is up to you. It was always yours, anyway.”
And Rio spent the entire ride to the airport thinking about what to do with it. She considered tossing it again, maybe even asking the cab driver for a lighter just to watch it burn. But that’d be a waste of money, especially in goddamn America, not to mention, technically a crime. Maybe she should just give it to someone who actually needed it. Or buy herself something nice – if a single dollar could even get her anything in this economy.
But Rio held onto it, stuffing it deep into her pocket, even after saying goodbye to Alice and Jen, even after boarding the plane. She kept it, not because she had a plan for it, but because she didn’t know what else to do. She shut her eyes, exhaling sharply. It was fucking stupid to even think about it now, now that she was literally leaving.
And then, clear as day, a pair of blue eyes filled her mind. Soft in the morning light, the way they had looked at her that night in the rain. No matter how much Rio tried to deny it, she knew that look. She knew what it meant. She knew what it was. It was love.
And because the universe had a messed-up sense of timing, her mind wandered further, painting a life she wasn’t supposed to be imagining: Agatha in a hospital room, gripping her hand tight, whispering, “You’re doing great, baby,” then breaking completely when their son’s first cry filled the room. Agatha cradling their son, rocking him to sleep in a dimly lit nursery. Reading to him in their tiny book-filled corner. Yelling at Rio for letting him roll around in the dirt for too long. Agatha, barefoot in their kitchen, laughing as Rio spun her around with a glass of wine still in her hand. Agatha, kissing her slow and deep, tangled up with her under the sheets, lost in love like a couple of fools.
But most of all – Agatha, sitting beside her on a porch, their hair streaked with gray, hands wrinkled, watching their grandkids play in the front yard. And just like that, Rio knew.
She wiped at the hot tears slipping down her face. How do you walk away from that? From the person you love, knowing you might never see them again? Knowing that the life you imagined, your life together, might end up belonging to someone else?
No, Rio couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life wondering. She couldn’t sit back and watch as the future she might’ve let slip away became someone else’s.
So she did what any woman with an ounce of recklessness and just enough desperation would do. She unfastened her seatbelt, stood up, and reached for her suitcase, yanking it from the overhead bin so fast that it nearly smacked the poor guy sitting below.
“Ma’am,” a flight attendant stepped into her path, “Apologies but you need to return to your seat. We’re about to close the doors.”
Rio barely heard her. Her heart was hammering too loud against her ribs like it already knew where she was supposed to be. “I’m sorry,” she said, even though she genuinely wasn’t. “I forgot something really important.”
She stepped around the flight attendant before she could protest, ignoring the annoyed grumbles and judgmental stares from other passengers. Let them look. Let them mutter about the crazy woman who decided to change her mind at the last second. She didn’t really care.
All that mattered was getting off this plane.
Thank God her ticket was flexible and already paid for.
She just needed time. Time to make things right. Time to finally, finally settle this. And if this turned out to be the stupidest, most humiliating decision she’d ever made? Well, that was a problem for future Rio.
But as she stood there, looking into the same blue eyes that had haunted her thoughts on the plane, she realized, maybe it wasn’t so stupid after all.
Still, she had to leave. But what if she screwed this up? What if she left now, couldn't handle the distance, and lost Agatha for good? The thought terrified her to her core.
“I know,” Agatha said softly, as if reading the chaos in her mind. And God, Rio wanted to bolt straight into her arms.
Agatha stepped closer, and Rio fought every urge to close the distance. “And I would never ask you to give up your dreams for me.” She said like she had already made peace with whatever came next. “But if being with you means late-night calls and counting down the days until I can hold you again, then I’ll take it. I’ll take us in whatever way I can have you.”
She reached out, cradling Rio’s face in her hands, her thumb gliding over her cheek. “I’ve already spent three years waiting for you, missing you. What’s a little more…if it means a lifetime with you in the end?”
God, Rio wanted to cry, her whole body aching with the urge to just fall into Agatha’s arms, to finally let go of everything she’d been holding in. She had imagined a lifetime with this woman, but hearing Agatha say it out loud was something else entirely.
And the crazy part was, they indeed had planned a lifetime together. On a random Tuesday night, after running through the rain on Cheshire Street, soaking wet and laughing until their sides hurt. They had stumbled into their tiny flat, still breathless from the cold and the adrenaline.
Wrapped in mismatched blankets, Rio caught the look in Agatha’s eyes, and for a moment, she thought she might actually stop breathing. The woman who had once seemed like the biggest uncertainty in her life had turned out to be her only certainty. And now, with the same tender eyes Rio had come to know so well, Agatha said, “Marry me.”
With their hair still damp from the rain, Rio’s answer came in the form of a kiss so deep and intense, it felt like everything else disappeared. The rain outside could have been a distant thunderstorm and the world could have been spinning on a different axis for all Rio cared.
She wanted this woman, she reminded herself, as their clothes were discarded, piece by piece. She wanted this woman, she thought, as she heard Agatha’s moan when her fingers traced the right spot. She wanted this woman, she told herself, as the heat between them grew, and nothing else mattered. She wanted Agatha, and with every kiss and touch, it was clear, Agatha wanted her too.
Breathless, Agatha pulled back just enough to catch her breath, her fingers trailing slowly across Rio’s stomach, her lips still swollen from their kiss. “I hate to ruin the moment, my love,” she said, as she hovered just above Rio, “but you still haven’t answered my question.”
Rio laughed, low and throaty, as she pulled Agatha closer.
“Baby, if I ever say no to that question, you have full permission to steal my keys and run me off the road,” she said, tugging gently at Agatha’s hair and kissing her fiercely. “You’ve already stolen my heart, and I’m never asking for it back. So, yes. A thousand times yes. I would marry you. A million times over if I have to.”
And a million times over, she really would.
Rio thought of that moment often, especially when she watched Agatha laughing, her face lighting up as their son pulled at her arm, trying to drag her out into the rain with him.
She had imagined a life full of green, the literal kind, with plants filling her space, the kind of life she thought she needed to rely on nothing but herself. But now, seeing Agatha and Nicky together, she realized how much more complete her life had become.
How much greener it was with them in it.
“Mami, Mama wants to play too!” their three-year-old shouted, his tiny hands tugging at Agatha’s sleeve as he splashed around in puddles.
Agatha, looking a bit reluctant but more than willing, looked at Rio with an amused smile.
“Oh, does she now?” Rio grinned, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Agatha’s waist, pulling her close, her hands warm against the dampness of Agatha’s shirt. “Does Mama want to play in the rain?” she teased.
Agatha rolled her eyes playfully but didn’t pull away. “Our son is literally two feet away from us,” she said, laughing, “Maybe keep your horny ass in check for a second, missy.”
Rio chuckled, resting her forehead against Agatha’s. “Can’t help it,” she whispered, her hands tightening around Agatha’s waist as she leaned in, her lips brushing against her wife’s ear. “I’m so down bad for you.”
Agatha turned in her arms, glancing up at Rio. “Well, I’m just as down bad as you are,” she whispered back, then kissed Rio softly, before breaking away with a smile.
But before either of them could say anything else, Nicky, eager to pull them both into his world, jumped between them, his arms wide, demanding their attention. “Mami, carry me!” he begged.
Rio grinned, lifting Nicky into her arms, cradling him between her and Agatha, the three of them laughing and showering him with kisses. Rio felt a sense of peace she never thought she would find. This was her life now. This was what she had been missing all along. Agatha, her wild love, and Nicky, their little joy, made everything fall into place.
Life was indeed greener now, not just with the plants she loved, but with the love of her wife and son. They had become her everything, and she’d never have it any other way.