coveted magics, 5
Lightning sliced down from the sky only a few moments after a heavy crack of thunder, and Daisy let out an irritated sigh in response. She didn’t particularly love thunderstorms. Not because the noise scared her or anything. Rather, she could feel the resultant vibrations of the storm and it was pretty uncomfortable. Which meant that it probably wasn’t the best time to pull off the brave move she had planned. That wasn’t going to stop her, though, because this was the first time since Wanda had moved in that she was going to get this chance. At least, that was what she told herself so that she wouldn’t keep overthinking it.
Daisy knew that Wanda liked to sleep in late, but she figured it was late enough in the morning for this to be appropriate. Peter and Harley had left for New York a couple hours ago, and Gwen had gone down to MIT campus to hang out with Riri for the day, which meant that there was a much lower chance of any interruptions.
Trying not to berate herself for how nervous she felt, Daisy gently rapped her knuckles against Wanda’s bedroom door. A part of her winced at the sound, because the last time she had tried to do this sort of thing was back in her early days in SHIELD. And back then? The thing with her and Jemma had kind of just happened.
“Daisy, is that you?” Wanda called from within. Even through the door, Daisy could hear the sluggish sleepiness in Wanda’s voice, and damn. Heat rose to her face, and Daisy fought it down. Given her accomplishments, she ought to be better than this at maintaining her composure.
“Uhuh. Wanna come have some brunch? I made miso porridge with some fried eggplant and spring onion,” Daisy rambled, saying far more than she’d intended to. The original plan had been to impress Wanda in the kitchen with the surprise meal, not to repeat things exactly the way Fitz had done it all those years ago when he made her the exact same dish to try and impress her.
Classy, using someone else’s moves like this, Daisy sarcastically berated herself.
“Oh, uh, sure,” Wanda responded. “Just give me one minute to get myself dressed.”
And even if Wanda’s voice hadn’t made Daisy blush, there was no way she was getting out of this one. She was vaguely aware that Wanda tended to sleep in just her underwear, and Daisy’s imagination could at times be… vivid.
A minute later, Wanda emerged into the joint kitchen and dining room wearing soft wavy pajamas and a dark grey bathrobe. Daisy watched as she sniffed, and smiled. “That porridge smells wonderful. Did it take you long to make?”
“No,” Daisy answered, pleased with her housemate’s reaction to the food. “Only about ten minutes. I figured that now that we have the place to ourselves, without the admittedly enjoyable interruptions, we could finally… talk.”
Wanda tilted her head, and raised an eyebrow. “Talk?”
“Oh,” went Daisy, as she then began to fumble for her words. “Well, uh, mind control. I mean. We both went through similar things, and I haven’t ever really had someone to talk to about it who gets it, and I don’t know if you have either. So… I guess we could talk about it, if you wanted to?”
Real smooth, Quake, Daisy mentally chided.
Wanda’s shoulders dropped and relaxed, and she moved to take a seat at the dining table. “I’d… I’d like that. I must confess that I’ve been thinking about your words back on the day we met for a while now. It’s nice to know that someone else might… understand.”
“Yeah,” Daisy exhaled harshly. She turned around, not to avoid Wanda’s gaze but because food really needed to be served. “I know exactly what you mean. Back in my SHIELD days, we encountered this ancient Inhuman named Hive, who had the power to… sway other Inhumans. My science friends described it as like an actual addiction, and, well, that’s pretty accurate. It was like… I was addicted to being a part of Hive’s design, to being loyal to him. I did some pretty fucked up shit around then.”
“That’s…” Wanda started, and then paused. Daisy could see something soften in her eyes, and it warmed her. It made her feel even more content being around the other woman. “Why do you sound like you’ve never really talked about it with anyone?”
Daisy grinned a rather morbid grin, finished serving the miso porridge into bowls and carried them over to the dining table. “It’s just like I said, I know exactly what you mean. Not knowing if there’s anyone out there who can… understand. And… when I had just been freed from Hive’s control, I told myself and the others around me that I deserved all of the blame for what had happened. I… wait, I should check. How far is too far for this conversation? I really shouldn’t just be piling this all onto you out of nowhere.”
Wanda shook her head, and then leaned down to take in more of the porridge smell. “Wow, this is excellent. And… you haven’t gone too far, I assure you. It feels almost refreshing to hear someone else talk about this so openly. I feel, well. I feel seen. You all have done so much to make me feel welcome here, to insist over and over again that I can stay as long as I want. And I’m starting to believe that might be possible. And now you need to share this, after years of holding it within yourself.”
In an instant, Daisy could feel tears welling up in her eyes. And damn, if she wasn’t starting to fall for this woman in ways that extended beyond the initial physical attraction. She inhaled deeply, and then asked the one remaining question that needed to be asked before continuing with her story. “Is it okay if I talk about suicidality?”
Wanda looked to be considering the question, and then nodded just once.
So, Daisy continued. “For a while, I was suicidal. I wanted to die, felt like I deserved it, but didn’t have the guts to do it myself. So I went on a reckless hunting spree, taking down whatever bad guys I could find, and hoping that one would eventually do me in. I just couldn’t stop blaming myself for what happened, and it’s taken me years to accept that it really wasn’t my fault.”
And now Wanda was crying too, and until she started speaking, Daisy feared that she had said too much. “When Chthon had me in its grasp, I felt all sorts of alluring things that convinced me I was doing the right things. I heard whispers of having Vision back, of having my children back, and of having justice for all the wrong that was done to me in my life. More than I’ve cared to admit to anyone came to the surface across that time, like the time when my brother and I, two young Jews, were… well, corralled into joining a Nazi organisation.”
“Yikes,” Daisy uttered almost automatically. A memory flashed across her mind, of her team discussing how Hydra was gaining powered assets many years back. Now, Daisy knew that Wanda and her brother were Von Strucker’s powered assets. Daisy couldn’t help but wonder if she and her team could have done something to help them all the way back then. “That must have been beyond traumatizing.”
“It… was,” Wanda agreed. “Well, when I was finally free of Chthon, I did the one thing I could think to do – I destroyed Wundagore and Chthon’s hold on the mortal realm with it. And as the rubble all came falling down on me, I just stood there thinking that I would finally be free now that my life was about to end. I…”
Noticing Wanda beginning to cry even more and fail to find her words, Daisy finished the food in her mouth so she could speak again. “You don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to.”
Wanda shook her head, took a bite to eat, finished it, and kept going. “No, I want to. It feels important to say it out loud. Especially to someone who won’t… judge.”
“You’ll get zero judgement from me, Wanda,” Daisy assured her.
Wanda smiled. “If not for the burst of Chthonic energy that rushed into me and protected me in that moment, I would have let the rubble crush me. I wanted it to. And then after surviving, I was lost. In all honesty, I was still lost until you all found me.”
“I’m…” Daisy started, and then felt heat rising to her cheeks. “I’m really glad we did.”
“Me too,” Wanda said. And… did Daisy see a little heat in her cheeks, too? Or was she just being overly hopeful and imagining it?
The weather honestly wasn’t great for driving, and Peter supposed that was why Harley was letting him get away with distracting him from actually starting the rather comfortable little rental car. But it was a three hour drive, and they were supposed to arrive at the Lakehouse by 1pm. Reluctantly, Peter decided to stop making out with his boyfriend and slide off Harley’s lap and manoeuvre into the passenger seat.
“Guh,” Harley gasped, his face flush with excitement. “Damn, I’m never gonna get tired of that. But at this rate we’re gonna be late.”
Peter grinned, and leaned across for just one more kiss. “Hence why I stopped, Harls. I just thought it’d be good to perk you up a bit before driving in this miserably shitty weather.”
“It wouldn’t be so bad if somebody had his driver’s license,” Harley teased, grinning as he started the car and pulled out of the parking space.
Peter rolled his eyes. “Harls. Boyfriend of mine, light of my life, I spent my whole life in New York City. There isn’t much point in a driver’s license there. That said, I wouldn’t be against getting some lessons. Know any cute guys who could teach me to drive?”
“I might know one,” Harley playfully responded. “Anyway, I’ll give you my phone in a bit to text Pepper and let her know we’ll be a little late, if you’re comfortable with that?”
Peter felt a little wave of discomfort in his chest that he attributed to nervousness, but pushed it aside. “Sure, I can do that.”
“Good, because in this weather I’m gonna be driving a little slower just to be safe,” Harley said. “Now what would you say about picking some music for the trip?”
“Show tunes or punk rock?” Peter asked, happy to listen to either genre.
Harley hummed thoughtfully. “Punk rock until we get out of the city and then show tunes when I feel safer singing along.”
And so Peter put on a playlist starting with a few Mother Mother songs, and occasionally sung along here and there while occasionally turning to admire his boyfriend. Honestly, he wouldn’t have even begun to consider going to the Lakehouse to see Pepper and Morgan if not for the fact that Harley would be there by his side.
The drive was long and peaceful, mostly filled with Harley and Peter singing along to various songs together, idly chatting about college coursework or just sitting in silence together. Peter felt his nerves climbing back up not long before they arrived. When Harley noticed Peter’s legs bouncing more than usual, he took a hand off the wheel and rested it on Peter’s left leg for rather successful comfort.
And then they were there. All at once, Peter was hit with the memories of the last time he was here – for Mr. Stark’s funeral. It had really been a crappy day, but Peter had mostly been too numb to sit with any of his feelings about the loss of his third father figure. Now, he had to confront that, somehow. Well, he felt ready enough, at least.
“You ready?” Harley asked, after a half minute of sitting silently in the parked car.
Peter nodded, and unbuckled his seatbelt. He opened the door, and got out of the car. By the time he was done stretching his legs and back, Harley was already beside him with a hand outstretched to hold. Peter took it, and together they walked up to the front door. Harley knocked a couple times, and Peter could hear the footsteps approaching from within. Heavier and slower, so probably Pepper.
It would be better if it was Pepper, first. Peter had been putting off actually thinking about how he was going to deal with seeing Morgan again. He hadn’t even spoken to her last time – and for that matter, Peter had never actually exchanged a single word with the girl. And to her, he would just be some stranger while Harley was probably someone she looked forward to seeing. It was going to hurt, and at least he’d braced himself for seeing Pepper.
He was right. The door opened to reveal Pepper looking not all that different from the last time Peter had seen her. Maybe she had another wrinkle or two, but that was it. Her hair was the same, she was wearing the same sort of semi formal ‘casual-wear’ that she usually did when off work. He wondered how, or if, she was coping with the loss of her husband. It had been a couple of years now, sure, but Mr. Stark was one of the greats, and he and Pepper had been a huge part of each other’s life for so long.
Pepper looked at Harley first, and smiled. “Harley, it’s so good to see you again in the flesh. How have you been?”
“Good!” Harley exclaimed. “Boston’s been really good for me.”
“Clearly,” Pepper smirked, and then looked over Peter’s way. “And you must be Peter, right?”
The words were like a heavy punch in the gut, and it was a miracle that Peter didn’t actually keel over. Even though he’d braced himself for this, a part of him had still been clinging to the hope that she would treat him like the memory spell had never happened. So, he managed a weak smile.
It hurt, Pepper talking as though she was meeting him for the very first time. As if she hadn’t been an important part of his life since he was fifteen years old. But she didn’t remember him. “Yeah, that’s me.”
“Come in, both of you. Peter, you’ll have to explain the whole memory spell situation to me over some tea or coffee a bit later, though I have pieced what I can together already between what Harley’s told me and some… other details. Speaking of which-”
Pepper was then cut off by a loud noise, and then a whole lot happened in a very short span of time. In most other situations, Peter probably would have noticed the other heartbeat, the other set of feet approaching at least several seconds ago. But he was distracted, and he missed it right up until it was too late. Morgan emerged from around a corner, and then bolted towards Peter impressively quickly, not even giving him a chance to take in how much bigger she’d gotten since the funeral.
“BIG BROTHER!” Morgan yelled as she leapt at Peter and wrapped her arms around him. And she had definitely been talking to him, and not Harley. There was no doubt about it, as confusing as that may have been. Then, she looked up at Harley. “You found him, Harley! See, mom, I told you he was real!”
Now in something of a heavy daze, Peter failed to respond whatsoever, whether with his voice or body. He simply stood there, Morgan hanging off of him and looking back at him. Concern grew on her face, and she stepped away.
“Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” Morgan asked, her face a little scrunched up. As best Peter could tell, it didn’t look like she was growing upset, but rather trying to think things through and figure the current situation out. Mr. Stark had done that, too. It happened more often after everything with Toomes, when Mr. Stark had stepped in and decided he wanted to more actively support Peter. Sometimes he would say something that caught Peter off guard or make him feel bad, and then he would scrunch up his face a little, spending the next minute thoughtfully trying to problem-solve.
It all made him both mournful and somehow more at ease. Peter got down on his knees, and gave Morgan his full attention, doing his best to mask the bubbling, boiling emotions swirling about within him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Do you, uh, do you know who I am?”
Morgan nodded, proud and excited. “You’re my other big brother, the one from that photo dad had! But it disappeared like a year ago and so did all the decorations from your room and then nobody else could remember you anymore! And daddy never told me your name so I couldn’t make mom look you up, but now you’re here!”
“Yeah,” Peter managed. “I’m here.”
He was going to need a whole bunch of time to process everything Morgan had said. It made sense, at least – especially now that he had figured out the loophole in the spell that had allowed some people to remember him. If they didn’t know his name, they didn’t forget. And because somehow Morgan had never learned his name, she remembered him.
And she called him her big brother.
“Mommy says I should let you two ‘settle in’ first, but then I want to show you what I’ve been working on and learn aaaalll about you! Is that okay?” Morgan asked, pleading eyes looking at Peter in a way that just weakened him.
Peter laughed. “Of course that’s okay. And your mom is right, we do need to settle in a little first. Do you mind waiting?”
“I can wait!” Morgan declared proudly. She then ran off, made it about five steps before she turned around, ran back to hug Harley, and then ran off again.
“That kid amazes me every day,” Pepper said softly, with worlds of love in her voice. “She got the best of Tony.”
“She really did,” Harley agreed, putting an arm around Peter’s shoulder once he’d stood back up. “You okay, Pete? I know that must have been a lot. I would have warned you, but I thought it might freak you out.”
Peter let out a heavy, well and truly pent up sigh. “You know me so damn well, Harls. Yeah, I’m glad you didn’t warn me. So, um… what happens now?”
“Come with me.” Pepper smiled, and stepped aside to let Peter and Harley in. She led them down the front corridor and into the living room, but rather than bringing the two to the couch, she grabbed something off a nearby countertop and held it out for Peter. “I have something for you, Peter, and I thought I should give it to you now so you can decide for yourself when to use it. Just… can you handle another emotionally intense thing?”
Peter took a breath, and nodded. “I knew what I was in for when I agreed to come, so… yes.”
Pepper nodded, too. “Tony recorded a few messages before going back in time to gather up Infinity Stones, just a handful of goodbyes in case he didn’t make it back. Apparently, there was one for you too. I put the pieces together and realised it was for you when Harley explained the memory spell situation to me. See, you were supposed to get one of these messages, but it was sent to the AI assistant that used to be integrated with your old suit. I found the file when I was repurposing that AI for Harley. And when I realised it was for you, Peter Parker, and Harley told me he wanted to bring you here, I decided to give it to you when you arrived.”
Peter blinked. He went over Pepper’s words in his mind, playing them back and making sense of them as best he could. “Mr. Stark left me a message?”
“He did,” Pepper smiled. “I haven’t opened it – in fact, nobody has. But it’s rightfully yours, and now that I know that this big brother Morgan was always talking about is real, I absolutely want you to have it.”
“Okay,” Peter responded. “Mr. Stark left me a message.”
“Yes,” Pepper said again, with all the patience in the world. “Why don’t you take this and go upstairs to get settled in. Have some time to yourself, and Morgan and I will be around whenever you two are ready. There’s no rush, I know this is all… complicated and messy.”
“Yeah, it really is,” Peter chuckled, and accepted the holographic projector disk from Pepper’s hand. He stared at it for a moment, and tried not to clutch it too tightly. This was a message for him, from Mr. Stark. Probably filled with all the things Mr. Stark wanted to make sure he got the chance to share. It was… Peter didn’t have the words to describe what this was to him, or how it made him feel. He’d have to figure that bit out later.
So it was with heavy, careful breaths that Peter followed Harley up the stairs of the house and into a bedroom that would give them both a little bit of privacy. Well, it was the room they’d be staying in, but Peter wasn’t all too focused on that right now. He’d never been upstairs, he hadn’t dared to traipse around on the day of Mr. Stark’s funeral in a place he didn’t feel he belonged. Harley had pointed out Morgan’s room to him on the way up, which was just another reminder of the fact that Morgan remembered him.
And now this – a message left for him by Mr. Stark, that had survived the memory spell? One that he’d never gotten a chance to recieve because KAREN was supposed to show it to him on his eighteenth birthday, by which point in time his access to KAREN had been destroyed. Peter was glad that Harley was there with him. The contact point of their hands, heavily clasped together, was pulling so much weight in keeping Peter grounded. When he’d agreed to come to the Lakehouse, he hadn’t even fathomed that something like this would happen.
“Are you ready for this, darlin’? You can do it later, you know,” Harley suggested. In fairness, they had only just arrived a bare few minutes ago. Most people would probably want to leave this until they’d had a chance to settle in. But Peter knew that if he didn’t open this message now, it might never happen.
“Gotta do it now,” Peter insisted.
Harley nodded, and gave his hand a small squeeze. “Do you want me to stay or go?”
“Stay,” Peter practically begged, his voice a scattered mess of desperation, even though he knew Harley only needed to be asked. “I can’t do this alone.”
Harley’s hand moved to reach around Peter’s shoulder, and Peter let himself be tugged a little further into Harley’s side. “I’m here for you. Want me to start it?”
Peter mustered up the strength just to nod, and Harley gently pried the small holographic projector out of his hand. It was set down on the ground just across from the bed, and at a press of a button, the message began.
It was almost surreal, seeing the projection of Mr. Stark right in front of him. He was sitting on a wooden chair, one Peter recognised as being from the veranda table outside. His face looked tired, but also full of excitement and determination. Almost the same as in the recording from the funeral, if not more weary than that. The fancy business shirt he was wearing under the blazer then was instead mostly hidden by an old grey hoodie with coffee stains splashed across the left sleeve. His posture was less of a confident act, more crumpled.
Even before Mr. Stark started talking, Peter had begun to tear up.
“Hey there, Underoos,” the message began, and Peter let out a shaky whimper. He took a deep breath, calmed himself just a little, and listened.
“If you’re seeing this message, it’s because it’s your eighteenth birthday, and… well, I’m dead. If I were alive, I’d be telling you this in person. Because you deserve to know, even if I don’t have the best track record with emotionally vulnerable moments. Well, happy birthday. I hope this won’t be too much of a buzzkill. Oh, who am I kidding, of course it’s going to be a buzzkill.”
A weak laugh bubbled out past Peter’s lips, and he only vaguely processed Harley making the same kind of noise.
“But you’re an adult now, officially, even if you’ve still got most of your senior year ahead. You’ve been to space, you’ve fought Thanos, and you’ve done so much more for me than I can ever really express. First, I want to tell you that I’m sorry for leaving you behind. I’m sorry I didn’t make it. But if you’re alive, it means I succeeded. It means it was worth it in the end.”
“I used to think I’d never have kids. Even after meeting Pep, it took a while for me to come around. But then I ended up with two sons I never expected and probably never even deserved, and that was the ticket. And on Titan, on that absolute bummer of a day, I lost both my sons, one disappearing in my arms. I hope you guys meet each other if I managed to bring you back. I haven’t been able to bring myself to say either of your names since that day, but for both your recording and his, I’ll say it once. His name is Harley Keener, so feel free to go nuts and track him down because you two would get on so well, I just know you would.”
Peter glanced over to Harley and their eyes met. Between quiet, breathy sobs, they both chuckled. “Yeah. Yeah, Mr. Stark, we get on.”
Harley leaned his head to the side until it balanced against Peter’s, and neither boy made any move to break the additional point of contact. They needed it; they needed each other.
“But enough of that. I spent a lot of time thinking about what to put into these messages, in case I couldn’t be there to be around for the two of you. I don’t really know how to cram all the advice I might have into one message, but I do know that I don’t want you to go without knowing the truth about my little time travelling adventure. The truth is that I messed around with attempts at figuring out time travel several times over the years since the Snap. I had this sense that I was on the right path, that I could do it, but that I shouldn’t. That I’d be risking too much, that it wasn’t fair. And then some of the other Avengers approached me and said they were working on it but needed my help.
“I refused them, at first. I knew that I could get them past the finish line, and so did they. But I had Morgan, and I had Pepper, and I didn’t want to risk them. And then, Underoos, I saw a picture of you and me, sitting on a shelf, and I just… I wanted my sons back. I wanted you two alive in this world. I wanted Morgan to have her big brothers that she’s never gotten to meet. And so I did it. I figured out a way to travel back through time and be able to return to the same starting point, regardless of what’s changed. I just wanted you back.
“Maybe it was selfish, to risk so much just for the two of you. I don’t know. I’ll never know, but as long as you’re back, I’m okay with that. And… you’re gonna do great out there, Spider-Boy. Whatever you end up doing in life, whether you end up some big-name superhero or you stick yourself in some lab or even give it all up to live on a farm. You’ll stumble and fall and fuck it all up a few times, and then you’ll pick yourself up and learn and do it all better next time. I hope you don’t have to do it alone, though. Surround yourself with good people, kid. Find people who love you and hold you accountable and make you laugh and stand with you when you cry and let you be your best self.
“Just… never doubt your worth. I know I haven’t always made the best decisions with you, or said the right things, but know that you’re damn amazing, kid. Maybe it’s presumptuous of me to keep thinking of you as a son, but that really is how I feel. It’s not some new post-Snap development, either. I really should have told you, and I’m sorry I didn’t. Heh, maybe this’ll just be another source of daddy issues to add to the pile. Maybe another bit of fatherly advice I should give is go get yourself a good therapist. It makes all the difference in the world.
“I know you already have a tight little family between you and your Aunt May-” Peter choked back a sob at that. “-but I want you to know that Pepper and Morgan and Harley? They’ll all be there for you. They can all be your family too. Families are things that can grow in unexpected ways, and… look, cherish it, okay? Seriously, they show up for you in ways that matter so much. Pepper and I basically eloped to avoid the press, and I was freaking out because I’d lost the little cup to step on. A half hour later, Rhodey shows up with a cup. He was on active duty, and still made it happen.
“Hmmm… what other sage bits of wisdom does my genius brain have for you? Sleep around all you want and don’t let anyone shame you for it, but make sure to get tested every now and then. I know you’ll be smart about that, though, so I probably didn’t need to say it. Gosh, I’ve had Morguna for almost five years and you guys for longer and I still feel like I have no clue how to be a dad. Just… one last thing, Underoos.
“Know that you’re loved.”