Memento Mori

Chapter 1: An Unforgettable Fever Dream

2nd May 1935, London

Dark clouds loomed over London bursting with rain as Cordelia Alder stared out the small window in a tiny bedroom on the top floor of Wool's orphanage. Her legs dangled off the spare bed in a room that wasn't hers, while she paused to stare at the boy on the bed across from her.

He still hadn't woken.

Cordelia looked down and untied the faded sunshine yellow satin ribbon holding her braids while waiting for the boy to wake up. Her light brown hair broke free into messy but presentable soft curls. She had tried to straighten her hair once but no matter how hard she combed and how many home remedies the older girls at Wool's tried on her hair, none would ever work. It was like she was cursed with these messy tresses.

A light tap was heard on the window and Cordelia shifted her attention to the window. Against the window, light raindrops crashed and broke apart before multiplying into smaller droplets. She traced the drops with her small fingers before a bigger drop of rain crashed against the windowpane making her jump.

Drops of rain started to multiply as more and more rain fell from the sky and crashed against the window before the clouds finally burst. All the water the clouds had been holding in for the dry month of April showered down on London, drenching the streets and the people rushed to run and hide from the rain.

The people ran like ants clutching their bags or newspapers above their heads. Some street children came out of the alleys and held out their hand up to the sky, laughing at the sudden cold, a break from the strange scorching heat of April.

Cordelia smiled watching them play, almost wishing she was out there with them. Mrs Cole, the somewhat strict matron of Wool's would never allow her or any children at Wool's to play out in the rain, let alone with the street children.

With a sigh she turned her attention back to the sleeping boy on the bed opposite. The boy was deathly pale with black hair which made the boy appear a little sickly though she wasn't foolish enough to say it to his face else strange things would happen to her just like the others. It was a mystery how nothing had happened to her yet despite her accidental remarks towards him.

"Tom." Cordelia softly called out to his still form. "Tom." She raised her volume a little to be heard against the increasing downpour. "Riddle." She started calling him by last name, hoping to get a reaction out of him but nothing.

She slumped back down to the bed and glared at the sleeping Tom Riddle, silently cursing him for choosing to be suddenly ill that particular day. It was so strange how someone who had never ever been ill, let alone even caught a cold, suddenly faint in the middle of the street. He just had to do it on the day Jane was leaving. He made it clear how much he loathed everyone at Wool's he never hid it, perhaps she was less loathed than the others but she hated it when he tried to isolate her from whatever friends she already had.

She wanted to say goodbye to Jane but instead she was stuck taking care of him because Mrs Cole was busy with taking care of the paperwork for Jane. While Martha was running errands and the older children were preparing dinner or were too afraid of Tom to even go near him. She rolled her eyes when that thought came to her.

Tom wasn't scary, not to her. He was unnerving and at times odd but she never found him terrifying so she never understood what the fuss was about. "Who's afraid of you?" She murmured under her breath, jumping out of the bed and sitting up straight when she heard a knock on the door.

"Cordelia?" Mr Cole walked in slowly and stopped at the foot of Tom's bed. Concerned, she reached out for him and touched his forehead before turning to her. "Did he wake up?" Cordelia shook her head and pursed her lips as Mrs Cole let out a sigh. "Strange. He's never been ill. I don't understand what's going on? He doesn't even have a fever."

"Maybe he was really tired." Cordelia suggested. She didn't really believe her own words. It was her who liked to stay up past bedtime, not Tom. He'd rarely walk around at night past bedtime and only did so when he was up to something.

"Very peculiar." Mrs Cole wasn't listening to Cordelia anymore but too busy staring at Tom as if her gaze alone would wake the boy up from his sudden slumber. Slowly, she turned her sight on Cordelia who met her gaze innocently. A flash of realisation flashed across her face. "You fainted last year like Tom, didn't you? I remember, it was hard waking you up. You stayed like that for two days. We had to call in Dr Wool." She let out a sigh. "I don't know if Tom will be asleep that long though I hope not." Her words didn't match the way she felt or looked but Cordelia stayed quiet and listened like she always did.

Mrs Cole changed the rag on Tom's forehead despite a lack of a fever, she insisted on putting a cold rag thinking it might be a strange fever. Again Cordelia stayed silent and only observed her. Tom looked worse after she put the cold rag and whenever Mrs Cole left the room, Cordelia would take it off and put it to the side. He would relax and look better after. Still she didn't bother to tell Mrs Cole about her observations—it didn't really matter, Mrs Cole just wanted to get away from Tom like the others.

"Did Jane…" Hopefully Cordelia glanced at the old matron, wishing she'd momentarily allow her to go see Jane for one last time but the old matron shook her head.

"Not yet, no. I'm still dealing with the papers. Martha is entertaining her new family."

"Can I visit her really quickly?"

"Cordelia." She knew the answer before Mrs Cole even finished speaking. It was a 'no', of course she couldn't. What was she thinking? Tom still hadn't woken up and it was getting late. It was worrying yet no one really seemed to care much apart from Martha who actually helped Cordelia watch over Tom and even brought her some books and some food for lunch. "I'm afraid you can't. I understand that you want to but Tom is still ill. I know it's a little unfair for you but…you're the only one I thought was the best for this job."

Liar.

She could see right through the old woman but she couldn't do anything. Unlike Tom, she didn't like voicing out her complaints especially if it would lead to an argument. Some at Wool's called her meek for her behaviour—she wasn't meek, she was just trying to keep quiet until she was eleven and she got the letter her late sister got before her untimely passing.

It wasn't the only thing.

She knew everyone else was wary of Tom, everyone but her. The two were often said to be similar except she wasn't quiet or hostile to the other children. She treated them like normal while Tom acted as if he was better than them. His attitude caused some friction between him and other children mainly Amy Benson, Dennis Bishop and newest addition to Wool's, Billy Stubbs. The older children didn't exactly like him either and she didn't know why. She tried asking Robbie about it once but the older boy only gave her a strained smile and a vague answer. It was the same with Peggy and Peggy was kind and attentive to everyone.

Forcing herself to smile, she nodded. "...I understand Mrs Cole." She had to. If someone like Any was left in charge, who knows what would happen. Though she still felt very bitter about missing a goodbye to Jane, one of her few friends at Wool's apart from Tom—if they were really friends.

Without another word, Mrs Cole left and Cordelia was left watching Tom again. Against the loud pitter patter of the rain and the quiet of the third floor where Tom's room was, she could faintly hear two heart beats. At least he was still alive.

"Wake up." Cordelia tried again. It wasn't going to work, she knew that. They tried those methods with her as well. Tom didn't watch over when she was ill, it was Lucy and Jane but now Jane was leaving and it was just her and Lucy. Tom did visit her that time according to Lucy. "Wake up." She poked his arm. "Wake upppp." Still no response.

She slumped back down to the spare bed and grabbed her diary. Her eyes started to feel heavy and she closed them.

The air around her got colder. The wind outside picked up and violently knocked against the windows. The windows clattered loudly. She almost reached for them to put the latches on to make the noise but she stopped and sat back down. Maybe the noise would wake him.

Shutting her eyes again, she clutched her diary close to her chest and momentarily drifted off to a short slumber.

When Cordelia opened her eyes, she wasn't in Tom's room. She was in a small shabby apartment. In the other room, she could hear two people arguing loudly, a man and a woman. Hearing them, she naturally went to the other room, avoiding the bickering voices. She found herself in the hazy bedroom.

Bright sunlight streamed into the room, a sharp contrast to the dreary reality she would eventually wake up to. The room was almost bare but one thing stood out to her—the large half opened suitcase on the bed. It was like the person who lived there was moving. Everything was haphazardly shoved into the suitcase and some clothes were strewn about. Cordelia couldn't help but reach out for them to put them away, Mrs Cole wouldn't be happy if she saw the scene, she thought.

Wait. Mrs Cole wasn't even there. Just as the thought occurred to her—her hand went straight through the clothes. It was a dream after all.

"Get out!" The strange woman's voice was getting louder and louder as if she was walking towards the bedroom. "Get out!" She repeated again like she was telling Cordelia to leave. "I don't know how you found me again but I've made it very clear I don't ever want to see you again."

"But we promised—"

"And you promised you wouldn't do anything. We both know exactly what you've been up to." She promptly cut the man off. "You were the one who said we've outgrown each other so let go and leave me alone!"

The door knob started to rattle. Panicked, Cordelia looked for a place to hide but there was nowhere to hide.

"Cordelia!" She froze when she heard her name being called out by the man. "Cora!" He called out to her again, sounding more and more desperate. "Cordelia!"

She jumped up from the nightmare and looked around her surroundings. Tom was still asleep. Strange. She could've sworn she heard his voice call out to her. Maybe her mind was playing tricks on her.

Her diary had fallen to her lap. She picked it up and turned to a blank page before pausing and going back to the filled pages. She wondered if any new entries appeared but there was nothing. She picked up a pencil and started to write down what she saw when she heard a soft groan.

Tom Riddle groaned and mumbled unconsciously before he woke up with a loud gasp. Cordelia dropped her pencil in surprise. His dark eyes were wild and he was drenched with sweat as he glanced around the room, trying to check where he was. While across the room he was being watched by Cordelia.

He noted two things.

One, he wasn't at Hogwarts and two he wasn't alone.

His eyes naturally went to the other person in the room. Seeing her, he froze. The familiar messy brown hair tied into a braid with a faded blue ribbon, pale freckled face and those bright blue eyes so full of life. He waited for her to look up and she did. Those blue eyes he hadn't seen in so long.

"Cora?" He carefully called out to her, invoking a strange look from her. His voice was raspy and he looked tired, an unusual look for him.

She still kept an eye on him before she gracefully walked towards him. She hoped he wouldn't question her about her diary so she quickly decided to take charge of the upcoming conversation before he got a word in.

"Good morning, Tom." Was the first thing she said and she noted Tom seemed in awe of her voice like it was the first time he heard her speak in a long time. She found it odd but carried on. "Martha was worried when you fainted on the way back from school, she had to carry you back and had Robbie put you to bed and I'll have you know it's actually past dinner." She added in a matter-of-factly voice before smoothing her skirt and sitting back down.

"I didn't really ask."

Used to his attitude, she flicked his forehead with a free hand and Tom grabbed his head in pain. "It wouldn't hurt to be nice, you know. Mrs Cole asked me to watch you, she's busy with Jane. You know Jane's leaving today with that couple. I should be saying goodbye to her instead I'm stuck taking care of you."

"It's not like she's going to remember you once she has a proper family." He accidentally blurted out. He instantly regretted it. He said the same thing last time which led to a massive argument with her that lasted for weeks. It was her who ended up forgiving him after nothing he did worked. "Cora—"

She started to nod, not even letting him finish. "You're right but I was hoping she would remember me. First Katie then Jane. I wonder if Lucy will be next." Carefully she checked Tom's reaction, he was surprised she agreed with him instead of arguing back with him like she usually did. He was the only one she actually argued with. "I'm going to go and tell Mrs Cole, you're awake."

Tom didn't take his sights off of her, tracking her movements very carefully, something she had yet to notice. She looked distracted by her thoughts to notice him. Momentarily he was distracted by the sounds of the heavy downpour and turned his gaze to the half-fogged window. It was raining.

It wasn't raining before.

He took his eyes off the window and turned back to Cordelia. She was younger than how he remembered her. The last time he saw her, she had tears streaming down her face as she left his place and disappeared out of his sight. She was only twenty-eight back then.

Nobody saw her ever again.

Nobody knew where she went.

He scoured the entire world looking for her. He never found her, nobody did. She was gone.

Yet, she was there in front of him, again, much younger.

With a thick leather diary in one hand and a pencil in the other, Cordelia Alder quietly wrote down an entry on one of the pages. She wrote the date and a few lines, all the while she kept an eye on Tom who was still coming around to his senses. She was careful not to get too close or let him see what she was writing.

"I'm seeing things again." Tom mumbled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes but he paused to stare at his hands before looking around again. The scratchy sheets he hadn't seen or felt in decades, the ugly olive and grey striped wallpaper which was peeling at the edges and the old wood floor dotted with strange marks. "Wha—" He looked up and glanced at Cordelia again who had quickly hid her diary behind her back and slowly walked up to Tom.

Tom jumped out of his bed, threw his covers and grabbed her wrist tightly in his hands, stopping her from leaving. "Where were you?" His eyes darkened as he glared at her. When he noticed her confused face. His gaze softened.

"What?" She tilted her head to the side and gave him a strange look. She was right there all day, watching over him and he was asking where she was? "I was here Tom. Mrs Cole told me to watch over you, were you not listening?" Her thoughts went to those strange words which appeared in her diary and quickly she banished them though she didn't know why.

"We weren't in a meadow?"

She calmly breathed out, fighting off the urge to talk back to him. No, she couldn't. He was ill. She had to remind herself he was sickly. "What meadow?"

"The meadow." He repeated, sitting up straight and making a motion of standing up but she pushed him back down. "You know you were making flower crowns."

She couldn't help but laugh. "Tom, we live in the middle of London." Pointed to the cloudy and rain covered window and chuckled. The dark grey skyline of London was vaguely seen from Tom's bedroom but he could see it. "And you've seen the state of the garden, I'd barely call it a meadow. All overgrown thorns and what not, not exactly a meadow."

"But—"

"You must've been dreaming."

"No, I swear it was real."

"Tom." She was getting annoyed at his sudden stubbornness. He was stubborn, she knew but she hated his bouts of stubbornness when she was trying to do something. "It was all a dream."

"So it was a dream." He repeated.

"Was it a good dream?"

To her surprise, Tom Riddle smiled. He really smiled. Not a hollow doll-like smile which sent shivers down one's back but an actual smile. His eyes lit up and she wished she could've quickly captured that moment. Amy would've died to see him smile. But the smile was gone just as suddenly as it had come. "Yes. Yes it was." He said slowly, looking up at her to meet her gaze.

Tom's grip on her hand loosened before she pulled away. Now free, she put a hand to his forehead. It was suddenly a little warm. "Go back to bed, I'll go get Mrs Cole or Martha."

But she didn't get to leave again. "What's that?" Tom asked, trying to get a look at Cordelia's diary, the only thing she had left from her parents.

"It's my diary." She honestly answered.

There was no point lying to Tom. The more she lied, the more he tried to know what she was hiding. He had an insatiable thirst for knowledge, it didn't matter if it was useful or useless, he had to know. The only way to stall him was to give him what he wanted so she always told him half-truths, he didn't pry much after.

"You know the diary that belonged to my sister. I got it after she…" She trailed off, leaving the room.

Cordelia never liked talking about her family. What little memories she did have of them were sacred to her. Rarely she shared them with Tom and no one else. Even so, she didn't like talking about them. Her parents and her older sister were all she had and now they were gone.

Some days, she forgot what they looked like. She remembered her father had the same brown hair she did while her mother had black messy hair and bright blue eyes like her. Her sister had taken after her father, dark brown eyes and neat brown hair along with an ever present smile.

Everytime, she remembered her family, it felt hard to breathe and had to leave where she was. So she kept walking, not caring where she was going and ran down the stairs even though Mrs Cole would punish her for it later.

She had to get out of there.

Tom didn't try to stop her. He did as she told him to and lay down. He was alive again and she was still here, so much younger than he last saw her which meant he was younger too. Quickly, he left his room and hurried to the bathroom, making Peter, another orphan at Wool's, jump.

He stood on his toes, trying to reach the mirror. Finally he caught a peek of his face and his dark eyes widened. "Tom, what are you doing?" He almost lost his footing but quickly caught himself on the basin when he saw Cordelia staring at him.

Not wanting her to make fun of him, he quickly composed himself and left the room. "I thought you went to get Mrs Cole or Martha."

Cordelia looked at Peter who hurried out of sight before turning back to him. Peter, like the others, was scared of Tom while she pitied him. The other children were either afraid of him or found him too strange and would often resort to picking on her instead of Tom. Unlike Tom who gave them dead stares or quiet threats, she had no problem playing their games. Instead she would cause trouble for them and have Mrs Cole or Martha punish them. It was easy for her, almost as easy as staying in Tom's good graces.

"Martha's preparing some leftovers for you with Peggy while Mrs Cole is helping Jane." She answered before shoving a book into Tom's hands. "Before you ask, I didn't steal it."

"You never do."

"No. I don't because I ask just like I asked Robbie for that and gifted it to me since I like to read it so much" She gestured to the book. The book was an old copy of 'The Secret Garden', one of her favourite books. She used to always ask Robbie to let her read that book and he would always ask if she was tired of reading that one book and she never was. Tom, to her knowledge, had never read that book. "You can lay in bed and read."

"How thoughtful." Cordelia's eyes narrowed at Tom but she quickly plastered on a smile before he noticed. "Do you want to read together?" He offered, looking hopeful, something she was taken aback by.

He was acting strange. Perhaps it was his illness or perhaps it was something else but something wasn't right. The Tom she knew would just take the book and ignore her, no thank yous or any form of acknowledgement yet here he was.

"I've read that one." She coolly replied. "Besides, I've got my chores to do—haven't done anything all day."

"Ah yes but didn't you say that Mrs Cole told you to look after me." Only because Mrs Cole didn't want the burden and Martha was far too busy. Cordelia didn't say it out loud but it seemed like Tom knew what she was thinking.

"Just until you woke up."

"Did she really say that?"

No, she didn't.

Cordelia was cornered and Tom could see it. A light grin appeared on his face as she scowled at him. She hated it when he did that. It was how he always managed to get his way by finding loopholes in every one of her words.

"I'm ill, you know. Mrs Cole did say to watch over me because I'm ill." He kept repeating while waving the book around.

"Fine." She finally relented and he smiled before reaching out for her, dragging her back to his room. Peter, who was still watching the entire exchange, had to pause and rub his eyes in shock when he saw the exchange. Tom Riddle had smiled. "You don't have to hold my hand." Cordelia ripped her hand away from his, waiting for him to lay back down.

Tom stared down at his empty hand while she had her back to him before glancing at her. Cordelia was still the same, a little distant but kind. She was one of the few who had no problem saying 'no' to him and ignoring him. It hurt a little, thinking about it now. How strange. He felt hurt. He couldn't recall a time where he felt anything let alone hurt.

"Tom?" Cordelia noticed he had stopped in the middle of the room and had not moved at all. "Tom?" She tried again. She was getting impatient and the way he was acting didn't help. "Tom!"

Finally snapping out his daze, Tom looked up to see Cordelia staring up at him in concern. He tried to smile to assure her that he was fine but stopped, remembering her reactions from before. She wasn't used to the sudden change and she never would be if he carried on the way he was doing so he decided to take it slow, something that was not gone missed by Cordelia.

She was following his every move with her eyes, every little thing he did. His face might've been blank but Tom's eyes often gave much away. There was a renewed light in them that felt foreign to her, still she stayed.

Tom went to his bed and lay down before reaching for his book. He stopped. "Where's your diary?" Glancing everywhere around the room, he realised she came back only with the book, not with her diary. Disappointed, he deflated into his seat. She never let him peek into the pages of her diary no matter what.

"I put it away." She answered, taking a seat on the empty bed opposite his. It was meant for another but nobody wanted to share a room with him. She used to share a room with him before but after her eighth birthday, Mrs Cole put her in a room with Jane who was now leaving Wool's forever, putting Cordelia in the same position as Tom. "It's fine, I'll just close my eyes for a few minutes. Wake me up before Mrs Cole comes back."

He nodded as she made herself at home before laying down, shutting her eyes. He waited a few minutes, counting down until he noticed her go still. Her chest softly rising and then falling as she snuggled into the bed. He threw his covers off and carefully approached her.

If she was still awake, Cordelia would be very angry to see Tom so close to her while she tried to sleep. Cordelia hated people getting close to her while she slept but he couldn't help it. He had to check. Without thinking, he reached out for her face. Her soft, pale and small face felt so real to him. He drew back and pinched himself to check if he was still dreaming or not.

She was here in front of him. Alive and well. He gently caressed her cheeks and let out a sigh. Suddenly Cordelia woke up with gasp, she sat up and he hurriedly moved away, acting as if he was busy reading. Her eyes trembled as she shivered uncontrollably.

Tom was at her side in an instant. Cordelia flinched at his touch, quickly composing herself but the trembling didn't stop.

She felt so cold.

"Cora—"

"Don't call me that!" She accidentally shouted at him, clasping her shaking hands over her mouth. She was surprised at the way she reacted. Tom could be troublesome but she had never ever shouted at him. Somehow she didn't feel guilty, no, she felt scared instead. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell." She quickly apologised and got up.

Neither saw each other for the rest of the night. It was Martha who delivered Tom's dinner to him while Cordelia holed up in her room scribbling away in her journal. She never managed to say goodbye to Jane but she made peace with it, choosing not to blame Tom.