Moonage daydream

September 5th 1971

Remus was actually excited to go to school. at st.cornerstone he wasn't treated as one of the smart boys he was called thick and stupid by teachers and other children so to go to a school where everyone is the same would be remus' happy place.

The boys clothes were worn and tattered, oversized and pulling his body weight to the floor which normally wouldn't be a problem except now he has to push a trolley full of heavy books, cauldrons and multiple sets of school robes in a large black trunk with a fancy logo on it which remus could guess to be the hogwarts logo considering the four different colours: red which he knew to be gryffindor, yellow is hufflepuff, blue which is ravenclaw and green which for the life of him he couldn't remember the name of, he hoped someone would tell him on the train, if anyone spoke to him that is.

The boy hadn't been trying to think about whether he'd make friends or not he was used to being alone did it for 6 years already he was especially good at shutting people out and not letting them invade his personal bubble, he never let anyone get close enough to him to make a difference in his life even Mary though the closest relationship in his life still wouldn't let her get close enough to point of attachment because remus had learnt at a young age that getting attached also meant getting hurt and Remus didn't like getting hurt physically or mentally.
'All love ends in pain lupin!'

Both Mary and Remus had arrived at kings cross now looking for platform 9 3/4, Mary looked around worryingly constantly checking the ticket and the time whilst the boy looked directly at a wall between platform 9 & 10, he gently nudged the sister and pointed,
"I think we've got to go through the wall" he looked up innocently and saw a smile on Mary's face,
"Now now remus thats silly" she laughed lightly to herself but remus just continued to stare at her,
"It's a school for magic ms.mary Ofc it's silly"
She looked skeptical “maybe we should ask someone?” Mary looked for a worker, remus rolling his eyes at the sister he knew his idea was stupid and even dangerous but he had to know, he had to try. Remus stood straight gripping his trolley and taking a second glance at Mary,
“Bye Mary see you soon!”
He saw Mary’s head whip around with worry “Remus NO!”
The boy chuckled and continued to run at the wall until the wall was no longer there to run at, the small boy couldn’t believe his stupid thinking actually worked out, he had hoped Mary could get through as well, yes he said goodbye but he had just wanted her to watch him be right wanted her to believe him and now he worried he wouldn’t actually get to say goodbye until they saw each other again in July.

All his worrying clouded his mind, he didn’t pay attention to anything around him, he just stood there trolley in hand thinking he had done everything wrong… again just like he always did. A hand on his shoulder jolted the boy out of his thoughts,
“Never do that to me again re-“
The woman was caught off guard with a crushing hug from such a small boy,
“Mary! Oh thank god I thought I wouldn’t get to say goodbye”
The boy thought of crying but he didn’t, there was nothing to cry for he told himself.

‘Crying over nothing won’t get you anywhere remus’

A new atmosphere was in the air. Magic. Unraveling himself from the older woman, Remus looked around awe struck, he looked in depth at everything in site ready for it all to disappear and for him to awake in his bed at the home but he didn't wake up, nothing disappeared and everything was quite real. Remus thought this might just be the best day of his entire life. Mary tugged him along with the trolley keeping them close together as not to get lost from each other again.

"Stay with me remus it's a big crowd" so he did he grabbed hold of her rucksack strings and followed her to the train.

Continuing to look around in pure adoration, Remus paid close attention to the families, some were in tattered normal clothes like him and others were in fancy long dresses even the boys,
“What a bunch o’ tarts”
Remus said under his breath. He went to take his eyes back to the train when his attention got pulled into a conversation just two people away from him.

"Peter give me a minute I'm trying to say goodbye to mum!" A black haired boy with short scruffy hair and those weird gay looking dresses for boys, something remus hoped he wouldn’t have to wear himself. He turned his attention to the short blonde boy that got told off, shy looking and quiet reminding Remus of himself a little bit except Remus knew that once he was comfortable around people he could be a right misfit, whereas this boy seemed like he’d be quiet all the time even when knowing someone for years. The boy caught a glimpse of a scowling family behind him all looking sharp and frowning at the taller boy with long black hair just in front of them, similar looks, big blue eyes, jumping about excited talking to what looks like a younger version of him saying rushed goodbyes whilst still trying to keep a proper manner in front of everyone on the platform,
"Sirius you're showing up our whole family!" The boys arm was squeezed in his fathers hand, looking scared the boy stood still, eyes not breaking away from the mans as he gets shouted at for being excited.

For a moment, remus could’ve sworn he saw the taller boy look at him, just for a moment, so fast he wasn’t sure whether he made it up.

Remus didn't see what happened next though as he got pulled away towards train, stood directly in front of sister Mary,
“Remember to be polite”
Remus nodded mind else where, he was worried about the boy, was he okay? Did his father let him on the train? Will he ever see the boy again? His mind travelled south towards more heavy thoughts of what might happen to him at this school, what if he got beat up? Killed? Or maybe even expelled? Remus’ mind cleared and was met with the soft voice of Mary trying to get his attention,

“Remus? Remus!”
The boy blinked a few times, his mouth felt dry like he couldn’t talk, all he could do was nod his head.
Mary let a small sigh exit her lips before holding onto Remus’ shoulders and looking him in the eye gently,
The look set remus’ mind at ease,
Everything was going to be okay as long as he focused on getting to feel the comfort of Mary’s hugs and monthly little dance parties to David Bowie after a full moon night next July.

“Be good for me okay?” Her eyes were soft, her smile, warming everything about Mary was motherly but Remus would not know that as of yet not until it was too late.
“Yes ms Mary”
Mary put a finger up to Remus’ face and smiled “pinky promise”
Remus smiled now with her intertwining his pinky with hers,
“I promise.”

Remus hugged her goodbye and stepped onto the train, Mary frowned feeling her large bag then smiling again,
“Remus, don’t forget this”
She handed the small boy her record player and David Bowie vinyl,
“Take care of it”
With a heartfelt smile and heartfelt words remus meaningly said,
“I promise ms Mary”
they shared another smile and waved before turning away from each other.

~ 📼 ~

Settling himself into a compartment, he sat by the window on his own but he liked being alone meant he could think anything he wanted without feeling the worry that someone will speak to him so suddenly. Looking out the window he saw a red head in clothes looking like his but neater she must be like him what they call 'muggleborn' she was excited you could see it in her eyes but keeping a firm smile on her face as to not upset the child next to her who clearly doesn't get to go to Hogwarts.

His attention was cut off the short red haired girl and pushed onto the same long black haired boy from earlier who was now up close to his compartment window staring at him as if to say 'who are you!' Remus made a face to the boy sticking his tongue out impolitely with harsh but playful eyes, he half expected the other boy to be offended considering his posh manner but surprisingly he made a face back at remus and stuck his middle finger up as a joke.

Remus doesn’t like many people but this boy is one he does and would love to be friends with, Remus knew that he shouldn’t trust someone he hadn’t even formerly met but he trusted this boy he didn’t know why but he did.

The fun moment was over just as fast as it started the mother of the boy had pulled him away from the window seemingly very mad at him, Remus felt bad for the boy but he didn't have time to dwell on it, the compartment door swung open revealing the short blonde boy named Peter and the taller scruffy black haired boy he saw saying goodbye to his mother. He smiled kindly at remus, why did he smile? Why was he making an interaction with him? The boy then stuck out his hand and waited, was remus meant to shake it like he saw on the tv box once before? Or just stare,
'Staring is rude lupin!' Abbess would always say she thought it was impolite and inconsiderate of other people's feelings and emotions therefore he shook the nice boys hand smiling sheepishly.

The two boys sat down waving frantically at their parents with wide smiles, remus wondered what it would’ve been like if his parents survived the car crash when he was 4 years old, Remus often wondered what it would be like to have a real family, Sunday dinners and movie nights the ones his “brothers” always spoke about before they got sent to the children’s home themselves. Remus wanted to hate the other children for getting more time with there parents than Remus did with his but he couldn’t because deep down he knew it wasn’t their fault, it wasn’t anyones fault not his, not the children’s not even his parents fault but he still felt anger every time he thought about their deaths, Remus wanted to blame someone for the reason he was left in that home so he blamed himself and the fact he was a werewolf. Remus’ eyes caught with sister Mary’s who was still waiting and smiling, maybe she was seeing him off? that's unusual no one ever wanted to say goodbye to him especially more than once but he waved shyly back at her with a gentle child like smile.

~ 📼 ~

Soon enough she was gone as were three quarters of the platform just watching as each and every parent and younger child made there way through the barrier until it was all empty and they were riding away on the rails.

The other two boys were playing an intense game of chess though it didn't look like normal chess more magical the pieces broke if you caught them and the knights seemed to have actual mini weapons as if to Shield the queen and king. it was cool,though remus thought he would stick to normal chess.

Remus liked board games especially monopoly and chess though he hated losing, anger took over him if he knew he was losing he would find any way to try and cheat though he was never any good at that.

~ 📼 ~

The ride there got boring really quick he put his head back just silently watching the never ending chess game listening as the boys had mini conversations here and there about quidditch, sweets, and zonko’s, whatever that is,
Suddenly the door swung open and the long black haired boy from the platform entered smiling sitting right next to remus,
Maybe he wanted to be Remus’ friend too? The small boy thought to himself.

"There you are!"
The smaller mousy haired boy looked at him confused wondering if this boy was actually talking to him!
"Yes you" the boy said again chuckling to himself and continued,
"Thought you could be my first friend here seem well fun from the window"
Remus flushed a little he got called 'fun' a compliment he never got back at st.cornerstone he smiled genuinely for a moment then realised this could all be a trick, a joke he frowned almost straight away still looking at the boy nodding,
"I'm remus"
The boy grinned widely and put his hand out just like the scruffy haired boy did he shook it but kept his frown,
"Sirius black!"

The scruffy boy perked up looking at him warily "black?" They both looked scared to hear the name as if it were a curse causing Sirius to frown,

"You don't have to worry you know... I ain't like them.. don't wish to be either"
Remus had no idea what was going on but Sirius was clearly genuine, the scruffy haired boy who apparently was named James calmly shook his hand greeting him with a grin but peter still looked scared and wary still as if Sirius would kill him at any moment, Peter started to remind Remus less and less of himself the more he got to know him, he wasn’t over fond of the short blonde boy.

Remus had the urge to ask what's going on but if it's personal he doesn't want to be rude,
'Never pry into ones personal life lupin!'
He had learnt that lesson the hard way.