Remus
Oh this is a bad idea. This is a very bad idea. They hadn't even left yet and he's decided that this is a very bad idea.
They're going to Scotland for the week and they're going the muggle way (mainly as a source of entertainment for the non pureblood people here), which means they all have to suffer nine fucking hours in a car together. Him and Lily are switching between the cars at some service station half way through but he doubts Lily's car is going to be much better. However he does have Sirius, Regulus, Barty and James in a car together so that view might change.
Pandora came up with the different people in the cars so everything would be decided already with no squabbling, especially with a fourple or whatever and a throuple and only two cars. Well he wouldn't say his (Effies actually) car is an actual car because it is very large and very fortunately has two more seats in the back. Anyway, they all stupidly agreed to this and now Remus is going to die because he's trapped in a car with his idiot friends for nine hours.
"I'm dreading it too, Rem, don't worry." Lily says from beside him, the two of them watching as their friends and partners scramble about with last minute preparations and luggage and food (which Remus specifically told James not to bring because they are going to be going to service stations but he clearly wasn't listened to.)
"God, it's going to be a fucking nightmare. I mean, have you seen the people in my car?!"
Lily barely hid her amused smile. "Yup. It's going to be an absolute fucking nightmare for you, none of those people but Regulus and Dorcas can sit still."
"Don't remind me. At least your lot can be quiet."
"Eh. I mean, Dora and Evan are constantly bickering and Mary and Marlene are going to be a nightmare, I just know it."
"Hm. I didn't think about that. We're fucked aren't we?"
"Yup. At least you're going to be going through it with me. Will definitely help."
"That and the fact that it will end eventually."
"Ah the motto for this road trip/holiday."
"Sirius go to the fucking toilet we all know you'll ask to go five minutes in otherwise." James shouts from where he's stuffing his charger and phone in his bag.
"Fuck you, Potter. You don't tell me what I do."
"I will literally grab you and throw you in there if you don't."
"Go ahead then."
James then strides across the room, throws him over his shoulder and walks off in the direction with Sirius kicking and screaming the whole way.
"Oh god this is going to be the death of us." Lily says, listening to the very commotion upstairs.
"It really will be."
"Moony, I really need a piss." Sirius says not even five minutes into the journey.
"No! We just got on the road, Sirius, we are not stopping." Remus says at the same time as James and Regulus both start. "I made you go five minutes before we went!" "How bad is your fucking bladder, oh my god."
"Oi! This is not my fault! My body works how my body works."
"Yes it is? It's your body." Regulus says, turning to face Sirius in his chair."
"Oh shove off, it's uncontrollable."
"Maybe if you had had the sense not to drink anything before getting in the car, we wouldn't be here."
"I didn't!"
"What about the mars milkshake you had?"
"That doesn't count, that milkshake was gone in five seconds and Prongs had half of it."
"No I didn't. I asked and you told me to piss off and buy my own."
"I did no such thing."
"I saw it." Regulus says, clearly wanting to be anywhere but in this car.
"Shut up you little snitch."
"Like you're any better, you told James about me hexing that kid last month."
"Yeah, he deserved to know."
"How?! I would've told him and regardless it has nothing to do with him."
"Ouch."
"Sorry, love."
"Ew! Stop flirting with my brother infront of me."
"I called him love? If that's your idea of flirting, both you and Remus are very bad at it."
"Eugh, Moony can I switch cars?"
"No you can't."
"But please, I'm getting ganged up on."
"Okay everyone shut the fuck up and stop arguing, Jesus christ. Go on your phones, with your bloody headphones and shut up, you're giving me, Pete and Remus a headache." Dorcas said, turning round and giving everyone a glare, immediately shutting them all up.
Lily
Mary keeps moving over the fucking gearstick to speak to Marlene and it is really starting to piss her off. She needs access to the gearstick to drive the car and she can't do that if they keep acting like star crossed lovers or some shit. As predicted, Evan and Pandora are bickering and with Mary stopping Lily from not crashing the fucking car, she is about to snap.
Lily hates shouting, she really does. But her friends are so loud, even the quiet ones are loud for fucks sake, so she has to resort to it quite often. She's a lot more patient after a joint or two but that is a very temporary solution and she does not have that option right now. So she's definitely going to be shouting any minute now.
"Hey, Marly, what are the other car doing again." Mary says, leaning over yet again.
"Uhh let me check."
Mary stays there leant over and that is when Lily snaps. "Mary get your ass back to your own seat and stop leaning over the fucking gearstick or I swear to god I will literally crash this fucking car on purpose."
Mary slinks back. "Sorry, Lils."
Lily sighs. "It's alright, probably not as bad as Remus' car I can tell you that."
"Okay but how can all of your patronus' be does?" Peters asking.
"Because we love James a lot." Barty answers, his head resting on James' torso and James' arm wrapped around his shoulders.
Sirius mutters something under his breath but it's mostly ignored and Peter continues, "Okay but he's a stag? Why would yours all be does?"
"I don't know it's just the way stag mating works or whatever the fuck." James says, waving a hand about.
"But why have just theirs changed? Why are you not all like racoons or some shit?"
"Pete, we couldn't answer that if we tried to. Sorry, mate, we'll have to see what we can do."
"Okay unrelated but our patronus' and animagus' are different, how does that work?" Dorcas interjects.
"No clue, patronus' just change with strong emotions. Don't know why though." Regulus answers.
"Fair enough, think we'd have to go to Minnie or god forbid, Dumbledore with that one."
"I'd rather not speak to him, thank you very much."
Sirius opens his mouth and Remus knows this is going to go south very quickly. "Why do you Slytherins all hate him?"
"Because he's a cunt but he favourites Gryffindors so you wouldn't know about it." Regulus says. Fuck, not again.
Every five minutes they argue and Remus is so god damn annoyed. They hardly ever fight outside of the car but it seems every small thing is setting the other off. Thank fuck Remus doesn't have any siblings; it looks exhausting.
"He's not a cunt! Maybe you're just too Slytherin to see it."
"He is, maybe you're just too Gryffindor to see it."
"Okay well this is very rich coming from you, lover of the most gyffindory Gryffindor ever."
"Please don't drag me into this again."
"Oh please you've been very enthusiastic half the times you've been involved." Sirius says, giving James a quick look before turning back to glare at Regulus.
"Okay that was once and because you were both wrong? Strawberry is the best milkshake flavour and I will fight for it."
"No it is not! It's banana." Regulus says in unison with Sirius who argues, "It's chocolate, you twats."
"It is strawberry!"
"It is not!" Both Sirius and Regulus shout.
"It's none, it's vanilla." Dorcas and Peter say, giving each other an amused look.
"Of course you two would say that, you're both boring as fuck." Regulus quips.
"We are not boring, you lot are the ones going in circles." Dorcas says, raising a challenging brow.
"We are not going in circles, we are just proving ourselves right. We have flavour."
"You do not have flavour, you have trauma."
"Uh I don't." James pipes up.
"Yes you do." Everyone in the car choruses, including Remus. Getting James to admit that he has trauma is a losing battle; James doesn't like admitting he has any mental health problems, trauma related or not, but all of his friends know at this point and try to help him with it like he's done to them countless times.
"Oh whatever." James mumbles, Barty immediately putting their foreheads together and saying whats most likely to be comforting things in a low voice.
"Anyways, y'all don't have spice, you have trauma and an incessant need to argue all the damn time about milkshake favours of all things."
"Milkshake flavours are a very good thing to argue about, Dorcas, and if you don't know that I don't know who you are."
"You bloody well know who I am, Regulus, and who I am is a person who doesn't waste breath over stupid arguments."
"You argued with Marlene about socks two weeks ago." Peter says.
"That wasn't stupid, it was necessary."
Lily
Evan is chuntering away on the phone to his boyfriends in the back and being unbelievably soppy, which makes Marlene, Mary and her cringe. Pandora is controlling the music so theres a lot of clairo and Chloe moriondo which, thankfully, everyone likes. Except for Sirius and Remus but they aren't in the car right now so it's not a worry.
Things have been quieter for about half an hour because everyone is tired and just waiting to stop off at the service station so they can sleep for rest of the journey. They all had to get up at 3 this morning so they could beat a lot of the traffic and because both Remus and Lily quite like driving at night. Partially because they both secretly hoped everyone could tire themselves out and go to sleep but they didn't tell the rest of the group that.
"Hey Evs, pass me the phone." Marlene says, reaching out.
"What for?" He holds the phone close to him, eyeing her.
"To speak to your dipshits obviously, I want to see how chaotic it is in the other car."
"Can you not use your own phone?"
"No, you're already on call with them, it makes more sense."
"Fine. How long have we got till we're at the station?" Evan asks.
"20 minutes."
"Oh thank fuck, I really need a piss."
"Gross." Mary says, her face scrunched up in over exaggerated disgust.
"It's a bodily function!"
"Thank you, Evan, thats exactly what I said!" Sirius shouts from the phone.
"What?"
"Your boyfriends told me off for needing a piss and thats exactly what I said."
"Why would they tell you off for that?"
"Oh my god, Evan I love you so much!"
"What did I- never mind, I don't want to know."
James
They're finally at the service station and James could not be happier. He's had to sit and listen to Sirius and Regulus arguing almost the entire way there with the others -and himself- going in too at times and as much as he loves being in a car and cuddling Barty, he needs to stretch his legs. Remus is undeniably more happy to be there though and looks so frazzled; his hair is almost as messy as James'.
Lily looks a lot better but still tired and tensed up which he isn't surprised by. Evan had been on the phone for the past hour and their car was still a little hectic, which was expected. The whole group together could be a handful (understatement of the century) and Remus and Lily definitely had a lot to deal with with the people they have in their cars.
"James!" Evan shouts and the two throw themselves at eachother like they're in a movie scene. It's a little over dramatic but it's fun and he really had missed Evan (James it way too codependent and he knows it.)
They both hug and have a bit of a snog which Sirius finds gross and says so. ("Stop banging in the parking lot, you're both gross!") and then the large group has a fag, goes inside, goes to the toilet and sits down to eat maccies. Remus and Lily are sat together, with Sirius cuddling Remus, looking quite tired and Lily with her arm around Pandora, whos holding hands with Mary. Mar,lene and Dorcas are catching each other up and filming stupid tiktoks (each trying to grab Regulus food who keeps slapping their hands away and threatening them). Peter is across from Pandora and Mary, all of whom look quite invested in whatever they're talking about and Evan, Barty, Regulus and him are all sat huddled up together talking.
"Oi, Potter, we're doing a pass the phone tiktok, film something and pass it on! Make sure it's harsh, yeah?" Marlene shouts, passing it to him.
James and Marlene grin at eachother, knowing that everyone here is going to say something so completely out of pocket. He grabs the phone, walks from his boyfriends, says something and passes it to Barty.
The phone goes round and when they're all done, everyone is looking mischevious (all of them are marauders no matter what they try to say. Dorcas plays it back and everyone watches.
"I'm passing the phone to someone who loves James' mum more than me." Dorcas says, passing the phone to Marlene. (Marlene shrugs, clearly proud of herself.)
"I'm passing the phone to someone who falls in love with everyone who's mean to him." Marlene puts in, passing to James. (James should be annoyed but it is true.)
"I'm passing the phone to someone who has crippling daddy issues." James says, passing it to Barty. (Barty gives him an offended look but James just grins.)
"I'm passing the phone to someone who is a lonely bitch." Barty says, passing the phone to Peter. (Peter gives him a look and Barty gives a faux innocent grin.)
"I'm passing the phone to someone who wastes all her money on crystals." Peter says, passing it to Pandora. (Pandora mouths 'I'm a broke bitch' to everyone proudly.)
"I'm passing the phone to someone who cried when Barty and Regulus got together." Pandora says, passing it to Evan. (Evan is visibly livid.)
"I'm passing the phone to someone who has an unhealthy obsession with Lily Allen." Evan says, passing the phone to Mary. (Mary actually looks very proud.)
"I'm passing the phone to someone who gives way too many second chances." Mary says, passing her phone to Lily. (Lily is definitely taken aback thats for sure.)
"I'm passing the phone to someone who cares more about their hair than the fact they need to go to therapy." Lily passes the phone to Sirius. (Sirius shows off his hair and everyone rolls their eyes.)
"I'm passing the phone to someone who can't swim." Sirius says, grinning, and passes the phone to Regulus. (Regulus glares at him.)
"I'm passing the phone to someone who smokes weed as soon as he wakes up." Regulus says, passing the phone to Remus. (Who sends him a grin and a nod because he really can't deny it.)
"I'm passing the phone to someone who practically breaks up with her girlfriend as soon as the week of their sports match against eachother starts." Remus says who passes the phone to Dorcas. (Who rolls her eyes.)
The tiktok ends and everyone breaks out in talk, some bickering or arguing and the others applauding some. Dorcas tags them all and posts it and then joins in the conversation. Regulus starts throwing chips as Sirius and Evan is arguing with Pandora and Marlene watches with an evil grin, like she's incredibly happy with the result of the tiktok.
Lily
Lily regrets every single decision in her life that has led her to this moment. Who's brilliant idea was it to switch cars because it certainly wasn't hers. She understand exactly why Remus looked so godamn tired and aggravated when he got to the service station now because she has spend an hour in this car and she is already done. Sirius and Regulus have been fighting almost every minute so far, James and Barty are snogging in the back, sometimes stopping to start arguing with them too, Peter is bickering with Dorcas and the music is getting switched over half way through every time a song starts playing which everyone knows she hates with her entire being.
She has shouted five times and they still haven't gotten the message, Dorcas isn't even doing anything which she knows she did last time because Remus told her. She swears she is about to pull over on the side of the fucking road and get everything in order but she hasn't been able to tell Remus yet and he's infront of them. Bet he's having a fucking lovely time with the sleepy group.
"Hold on! Hold on! Hold on!" Sirius shouts Regulus trying to interrupt and continue his own train of thoughts. "Her sister was a witch, right? And what was her sister? A princess! The wicked with of the East, bro."
James, Peter and Barty are laughing so hard that they're doubled over as best they can in the car.
"I'm gonna stab him." Regulus says, looking at Dorcas who's laughter finally bubbles over.
"You're gonna look at me and you're gonna tell me that I'm wrong? Am I wrong?"
"It's my favourite movie-"
"She wore a crown and she came down in a bubble, doug!"
"When the fuck did you start saying doug." James says as Regulus puts, "I'm not fighting with you."
"Grow up, bro."
"I'm not fighting with you."
"Grow up, Regulus."
"Get educated, Sirius."
Lily sighs. "Dorcas, text Pandora and tell her that we're pulling over at the next breakdown lane or whatever and that Remus has to pull over there too."
"Yeah okay."
Marlene
Remus pulled over at the breakdown lane and Lily followed straight after and from the looks of our fear on everyone in her cars face, they were fucked. Remus has warned everyone to stay the fuck away until everyones in the clear and she was definitely going to follow that. The two groups are in front of their cars, except Lily who's standing in front of her group and Remus who's leaning against the boot.
"Remus give me a fag right now or I will lose my shit;" Lily says, reaching her arm out. Remus fumbles but does give her one and a lighter and she lights it and takes a drag. "Okay right, you six are giving me a headache. Stop fucking shouting at one another, I am trying to drive and I can't do that with your distractions. So you are all going to shut the fuck up, sleep because you all look like shit and god knows you lot won't get proper sleep tonight without and chill the fuck out. You're also going to stop changing the bloody songs because you all well know that it gets on my nerves. Good?"
Her group choruses a mumbled yes.
"Right, now that that's over, everyone either have a smoke break or get in the car or like busy yourselves, I don't know. We'll be on our way in fifteen." Marlene says, reaching into her leather jacket for a packet and lighting one, cherrying Dorcas' when she comes round and puts an arm around her shoulder.
Lily's with Pandora and Mary, the both of them huddled together with their three-way headphones (Lily charmed them to make it work for three). Remus is with Sirius, with a pained expression so he's probably telling him to lay off Lily. Evan, Regulus, Barty and James are snogging, with lit fags in all of their hands because of fucking course. Peter's in the car with the door open, a fag in his hand with his phone plugged into the speakers which means loud dub is playing, which absolutely no one complains about because Peters music taste is elite.
"God, our friends are proper weird." Dorcas says, exhaling smoke.
"They really are. I mean, half of them are posh twats, how did we end up being friends with them?"
"No fucking clue. My biggest surprise is that Remus has been best friends with them since day one."
"Actually, it took them about three months to wear him down but you know, same thing. Is a bit surprising though but to be fair, it quite surprised me that Barty and James are together."
"Yeah, no, I get it. I mean, James is like wake up at five to go for a run and Barty is like never go out unless it's to party or something."
"Exactly. I do understand a lot more now though, they understand eachother."
"Mhm, just like you and I. Who'd have thought McKinnon and Meadowes, sworn enemies, would get together?"
Marlene tangles her hand with the hand that Dorcas has around her shoulder. "Eh, by the end I think everyone but us knew we liked eachother."
"I don't blame them, we weren't hiding it very well."
"Nah we weren't. Must make us oblivious shits then, aye?"
"Not really, we're only oblivious shits about ourselves. Very perceptive with everyone else."
"Yeah it's cos we spend so much time around these idiotic poshos, we have to be the perceptive ones."
Marlene winds her arms around Dorcas, stubs her cigarette out and steals Dorcas' to do the same (and if she takes a little drag too, that's no one's business but hers.) She kisses Dorcas for a bit, smiling against her lips. God, Marlene fucking loves Dorcas Meadowes, so much. She swears Dorcas makes everything just so much better.
"Yo, car time, chop chop!" Mary shouts.
Marlene pecks Dorcas. "Bye then, lovergirl."
Dorcas grins lazily. "Bye, sweetheart."
The two part to the different cars and Remus lets Lily go first, incase of any emergencies and Marlene lets herself drift back to the peaceful sleep she was having half an hour ago.
Lily
Everyone's asleep now which is fucking amazing. Sirius and Regulus are curled up together (which is honestly surprising considering the fact that they non-stop argued for so fucking long before that but still cute) with Peter fast asleep on Regulus' shoulder and his legs tucked up by the window. Dorcas has her head on the window with her headphones in and her phone on her thigh, Barty has his head on the window and James has his head on his lap with his legs in the air and they're all asleep (and quite a few of them are drooling but Lily prefers to ignore that.)
She's playing her music (which does not get skipped half way through fuck you very much) and her window is down so her bright ginger hair is getting whipped away by the wind.
They arrive and she puts on music very, very fucking loud, which wakes everyone up. There are grumbles and shouting but everyone does eventually get out and stretch.
She walks down to meet Remus and the two share a look.
"You alright now?" Remus asks, looking at her with his brow raised.
"Yeah, they were a shit ton though. Don't know how you deal with them all the time."
"I know right. Everyone tuckered out after your talk, thank fuck. At least we won't be in a car with them for hours here."
"Best thing about getting here, can't lie."
"Agreed."