Orbit

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Film closed the door to her room with a soft click, the quiet of her dorm room enveloping her like a heavy blanket. She hadn't even noticed how tense she'd been, how much she'd been holding her breath until now, now that she was finally alone.

She recalls that fateful day in her freshmen year.

It was years ago, when she first saw Namtan across the crowded campus quad. Namtan had been recruiting members for their theater club. She was entertaining yet polite; she performed a short song performance and her voice cut through the noise like music.

Film had only caught glimpses of her then, she was tall and would demand one's focus even from afar, her eyes were the most alluring pair she's ever seen, foxy – the type you could get lost into for hours. And she has this way with people that could command the attention of a whole room without even trying.

At first, Film just watched from a distance, fascinated by the energy that seemed to surround Namtan. She never understood how someone could be so effortlessly outgoing, so alive. But as the days passed, something shifted in Film. It wasn't just the way Namtan filled the room. It was the way she made Film feel, it was admiration at a level Film had not felt for anyone until now.

Namtan looks prettier by the day despite her recklessness and careless antics, she would notice Namtan's empathy for others, her attempts to liven up the atmosphere, or talk to someone that's being left out in a circle. 

Film was always there, in the background, a quiet observer and although they had never had any interaction, somehow she felt that Namtan could easily be a comfort zone, like a shed in the middle of a torrential rain. And when Namtan's eyes accidentally met hers across the hallway—just for a brief second—Film felt a flutter she couldn't ignore.

Namtan didn't even know I existed back then, Film thought with a small smile.

She had admired Namtan from afar, quietly, never daring to speak up or make her presence known. She was the shy, introverted girl who never seemed to fit in with Namtan's loud and confident world.

But still, Film watched.

And then this night happened.

The whole thing felt surreal. The handcuffs, the jail booth, sneaking around campus like a couple of criminals. She'd been so sure that the night would be a mess the moment she was dragged by the campus police for a mistaken identity, that she'd just end up sitting in the booth with some random person, waiting to be rescued. But that wasn't how it turned out.

It had been... unexpected.

She sank onto her bed, running a hand through her hair, chuckling to herself. Namtan had been different than she expected. Loud, sure, but not in the way Film thought. It wasn't just noise—there was something surprisingly profound about the way Namtan thinks, it's not always a comedic act, she can also hold a conversation – a deep, meaningful one.

Film found herself laughing, too. It's been a long time since someone had made her laugh like that and Namtan does it so effortlessly. It was like a heavy load was lifted off of her shoulders, the first time she'd felt like she wasn't just existing around. Like she could just be herself.

And the way Namtan had looked at her, like she really saw her, made Film's heart flutter in a way she wasn't prepared for.

Film buried her face in her pillow, her heart still racing.

She couldn't stop thinking about the rooftop, about the way Namtan looked at her when she asked about the planets and the stars. The way they had intertwined hands at the noodle shop, even if it was just for show, Film's mind kept replaying that moment over and over again. Her heart still raced just thinking about it.

Is this what a crush feels like?

The thought was so foreign to Film, she's very particular with the people she opens up with, she guards herself well, but it didn't stop the rush of warmth that spread through her chest. She wasn't sure what to call it, this fluttering in her stomach every time Namtan crossed her mind.

She wasn't the type to get all... giddy over someone, but with Namtan, everything felt like it was shifting.

She pressed her hand to her chest, feeling her heartbeat as if it was a physical thing. Her mind kept coming back to those small moments. Namtan's laugh, her eyes lighting up when she was talking about Pluto and its Charon. She'd never seen someone so genuine, and it made Film feel like she was doing something she hadn't allowed herself to do in a while — letting herself be seen.

She basks in this feeling for quite some time before giving herself a reality-check.

This is the closest I'll ever get to her, Film thought, her chest tightening.

One night. 

That's all this is.

Tomorrow, she'll go back to her world, and I'll go back to mine.

- 🐥See you on the next chapter 🐼-