He was running, with no idea of his destination. It was an endless way, full of nothing but the white empty horizons. Then there was this willow tree, he didn’t remember where did he see it, but it looked familiar like nothing else. There was a black figure, a man, Setting under it. The soft breeze was caressing his silky black long tresses. He was laying his head by the tree’ trunk, closing his eyes peacefully.
The young boy felt such a deep safety growing inside his chest, the man looks familiar, something even more than that. For the first time, he knew what home feels like. but the immediate, strange feeling he had for this stranger man did made him confused. However, he didn’t hesitate to get closer to him.
He was staring at him, trying to figure out why dose this man felt so familiar. he could’ve been someone he knows but forget about, maybe someone from his family.. but this can’t be true, his entire family doesn’t care about him, he don’t have a family, but this man felt like a one, which is very strange.
The man opened his eyes, and looked at the young boy calmly. The boy was ready to run away, but for some reason, his legs just fixed in his place.
“Nice to meet you again, child” the grown man said with a smile.
Confusion appeared clearly in the boy’s face “you know me?” “Of course I know you. I’m you, the grown up version of you” “oh, what? .. how?” “I’m not sure I understand either. come, have a seat”
The boy did as told. He kept staring at the older version of him, trying to convince himself that it’s a lie. But the man looked exactly like him, he have the same dark eyes, the same hooked nose, the same silky black hair. The only difference was the scars the man have in his neck “what happened?” young Severus asked hesitantly.
The grown up version of him smiled, took his time before answered calmly “you don’t have to care about it” “I.. I’m sorry..” “don’t be”.
“How are you, Severus?” The grown version asked, gazing the young boy “fine,” “you can tell me if something is bothering you, you know, I’m you, just a little older” “then you know everything. Why would you care to listen?” “Because I know things you don’t know, I can help, child” “you will tell me the future?” “I won’t, it wouldn’t be a future that way, wouldn’t it?” “I guess so..”
“so, Why did you came to me?” “I didn’t” “you were searching for home, aren’t you?”
The boy kept silent, he picked up a fistful of dry leaves and began to tearing them apart, apparently unaware of what he was done. A hand was putted above his little hands, made him feels immediate comfort. He let the leaves off his hands, and looked at the grown up Severus’ eyes when he said “it’s alright, it’s safe.”
The young boy smiled after a while “I’m waiting for my Hogwarts letter, I know it will come soon, lily and I can’t stop discussing about what would we’ll do in Hogwarts, we’re excited!”
The grown up Severus smiles, he didn’t wanted discuss about Hogwarts with the young boy, he asked instead “How is lily?” “She’s fine,” the young boy smiled too “we’ve planed to meet in the playground, spending the day together”
The grown up Severus nodded “be kind to her always” “I am kind to lily, I can’t be otherwise.. she’s always kind to me too” “I know” he smiled.
They kept silent for a moment. Both of them find it peaceful to have some time with each other, it doesn’t felt strange anymore.
“Will.. will my father.. our father, will he be there?”
“Where?”
“In the future?”
The grown up Severus smiles “you don’t have to worry about him, there’s other things you have to be careful with,” “like what?” “I cant tell you, but life will goes on child.. even if you felt somewhere that it won’t. in some way you will be part of this world, even when you feel neglected by everyone. just don’t hesitate to help those who’s in need”
“you’re insane, how would I help someone that neglected me?” “Cause you can, you have the power to”
“will I?” Said young Snape sarcastically
“you will.”
Silence fill the place as the two of them was staring at the empty white horizon which extend before their sight. Young Severus breaks the silence up “which power would I have then?”
Grown up Severus thought before answering, he looked at the young child before him.
“You,”
“me? What do mean?” “It’s all you, Severus. Your memories, your experiences, your feelings, your intelligence, your diligence, your morals, even your worst, your horrible mistakes.. all of those will make you a powerful wizard”
“will I be great then?”
“Greatness have its cost” “but will I?”
“It’s your choice,” “is that no?” “It’s your choice, Severus. You can always make a choice”
“Always?” “Always” The grown up Severus assured.
“In some point, you’ll feel yourself used by others, maybe you’ll feel out of control. But remember that you have your own will to do what you think it’s right. It’s only you who have the quill to write your own destiny. and when the ink is finished.. when your journey is over, I assure you, you’ll be satisfied” “what if I’m not?”
The grown up Severus smiled softly “look at me”
The little boy gazed the grown up version of him. he saw the truth, he will be satisfied then. He smiled back and nodded.
“Would it be easy then?” “I told you, greatness have its cost, what do you chose?”
“I.. I don’t know yet” “whatever, just be brave”
“You.. you told me to help those who is in need. What would I have in return?”
The grown up version hesitant before answering “Inner peace, perhaps. If you attempt to help someone, don’t expect them to be thankful, do not think if they deserve or not, do it because you can, because you should”
“but what if they hurt me in some ways? What if they deny my actions?” “We can’t control how people would act or how would they see us, all we own is our decisions and willingness, Severus."
“You seems satisfied with what you done”
“I must be content. it is what it is, child”
The little child had engrossed in his own thoughts. The grown up Severus didn’t interrupt him at all, he only watched him, the young boy he was, the innocent, oblivious version of himself. Severus wished he could protect him of what is coming, he wished to keep him close to himself forever. But he doesn’t own him, the little boy is owned by his life and his fate. He must let him free to have his journey. Otherwise, none of them will be existed ever.
“Where are we, anyway?” young Severus Snapped, pulling the older version of himself back to the reality.. or wherever they were.
“I don’t know. It’s nice though, don’t you think? Peaceful” “Yeah..”
he let a sigh out, and looked at the grown up version “I think I should go”
The grown up Severus nodded with a smile.
“Won’t you come with me?” “I.. Maybe I’ll just stay here for a little longer” “will.. will I see you again then?” “I don’t think so, you won’t need me anymore” “how do you know?” “You will have me inside you through the days”
The little child nodded “it was nice to meet you” “it was nice to have you back, child”
He kept setting there under the willow, the chilling breeze kept caressing his raven hair and his pale skin. He looked at the swaying willow leaves, and the endless white horizons before his sight. Then, closed his eyes peacefully once again, while the picture of that little child is still in his mind.