Why can’t I have you?

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
F/M
G
Why can’t I have you?
Summary
Horcruxes haunting with someone you could barely tolerate, what could go wrong?Hint: a handful of things like catching feelings and almost dying multiple times[on an indefinite hiatus]
Note
our beginning,,, feedbacks are appreciated!! • this chapter is sponsored by (it isn’t really):fairy of shampoo - TXT
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Family line

"Okay how should we do this?" She asked him, sword in hand as she trailed behind. "Do we just stab it?"

"Yes," he says, pulling the locket over his head. "I think that's our only choice."

"Do you want do the honors?" She handed out the sword, he took it, wordlessly accepting his role when she took the locket from his hands.

"So I'll open this." Her fingers found a latch around the green panes of the locket. "And you'll stab it, understood?"

"Yes," he murmurs. "I know how destroying things work."

"And here I thought you were too perfect to rebel." She sets the necklace down on the ground, hovering besides it.

"I wouldn't call destroying things as rebellion."

"You're right." Her finger digs into a latch between the lockets two compartments. "That's called vandalism. Now are you ready?"

And with a nod from Black, her finger flicks upward, moving with it the top half of the locket. The necklace sits still, it's charm split into two with only a slim piece of metal connecting between the pieces as if it was a door thrown wide open. Welcoming anyone who might come through.

Dark smoke emits from the chains, twinges of red entangled within it. The locket blew out smoke, circling the air as if it was a snake wrapping itself around a tree, ready to strike at any given moment until, finally, it stops. The smoke settles, leaving behind a mere image of two people standing side by side.

A voice of a woman spoke first. "You're just like him," she says with a frown. "A disgrace, Regulus. How'd I ever think otherwise?" The figure turns to her side, admiring the man stood besides her. "At least he had the courage to run towards what he believed in. You on the other hand . . ."

"You are a coward who lied," the man besides whom she presumed was Black's mother said in a voice that she was all too familiar with. "You lied because you were too scared to be everything I was and never would be. You will never be good enough, dear brother."

"And to think I could ever replace Sirius with you," the locket version of his mother says disgustedly. "You are nothing compared to him. You're trying to change but you know deep down that you can't. Because you aren't him, and that —that we both know is why you'd never get rid of me."

"That's—" Black swallowed hardly, his hand going limp. "—That's not why I'd never be rid of you."

"It isn't?" Locket-Sirius says almost tauntingly. "And why's that, little Reggie?"

"Black," she calls out, trying to get some sense into him. If it weren't for her having to hold open the locket she'd be by his side, wielding the sword and made sure the locket was broken into forty-eight pieces without a second word from those two. "Black, stab it!"

"Why?" Locket-Sirius was smirking now, chuckling while he shook his head lazily. "I see you're still as weak as I left you. What a shame."

"Such a waste of air," his mother added. "Can't even answer a simple question. You've ruined everything we've ever stood for. You and I both know, Regulus. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"You're no better than her," Locket-Sirius says. "Might as well give up now. Why fight? Just give in like you always did. You never fought for me to stay when I left, why fight now? It would not change a thing."

"I was a kid." Black's brows knits together, deep breathes falling in and out of him. "You left me when I was a kid."

"And?" Locket-Sirius quipped. "So was I. I was also a kid and I was able to make it out of there. Why couldn't you? And why can't you now? Don't you think I could see through you? Don't you think I could see how you react when you see those dirty little mud bloods walks by? You haven't change and you never will. And do you know why's that? It’s because you care too much but you are too afraid to admit it.”

Black froze, his facial features devoid of any readable expressions. “Is that why you never even tried to stay? Because I cared too much?”

Locket-Sirius smiles. “You’re finally getting it,” he says. “And it only took you four years to understand why I left you. I never knew you were so slow.”

"You didn’t know a thing about me," he says softly, coming back to himself as if he's only realized how carried away he's gotten. "You were too focused on James.”

“James who was always better than you,” chimed in his mother. “James who isn’t you.”

Black huffs, tightening his grip around the sword. "I have spent half of my life engraving everything you taught me into who I am, and the other half trying to undo everything that had been done by you." He swipes at his own cheek with his free hand, wiping away something she couldn't quite see. "I think it's about time I come to my own."

Black took a step forward, eyes falling and focusing only on the locket and strikes as harshly as he could. She moves away instinctively, flinching as the smokes and shadows sucked itself back into its case until it finally cracked on its own impact.

Black drops to his knees, eyes blank as he stared straight through the broken locket pieces. One, two, three, pieces of green shards were to be found, the chain still intact for the most part. She grabs at it, carefully placing the pieces in a ziplock bag that she'd later on owl to Dumbledore.

Finally, she paid her attention back to him. "Hey." Her hand reaches for his shoulder on its own accord. She took it as a good sign that he didn't shrug it off. "I'm sorry." She didn't know what she was saying, only knowing that she wanted to at least offer out words of comfort after witnessing such an intimate moment from his part. "I'm— you're not what they say you are. You're—"

"Just—" Black sniffles, cutting her off whilst wiping his face childishly with his sleeve. His face averts away from hers, paying attention to the grass now empty of the lockets pieces. "—leave me alone."

Right. Okay. Of course. He needs his time. Understandably so. "Okay," she says, standing up and patting her off. "Don't forget, we have to call Moony later on today."

Black doesn't move, not even an inch, but she knew that he'd heard her. And she knew that it was best if she was to leave him with it.

Black came back to himself forty-five minutes before they had to call out to Moony. The pair packed up the tent in silence, compacting everything into her small charmed purse.

Knowing where they needed to go, she hesitantly grabbed onto his sleeve, making sure that her grip was tight enough and apparated them out of the woods and into an empty alley way.

She lets go of him and approached the first telephone booth she could find. Slipped in a coin and dial the number to Remus' place. One, two, three rings and then. "Hello."

"Hey," she says. "Pads wanted us to call you?"

"Yes, he's right over here. I'll go get him," Remus says through the line. She could hear muffled shouts before the phone from the other end was passed over.

"Hey, doll," Sirius greeted. "Did you get the locket?"

"Yes," she says. "We destroyed it too."

"That's good, that's good." His voice turns hesitant. "Is he— Regulus, is he okay?"

"Yeah," she say, turning to look at the fore mentioned man standing guard outside of the booth. "He's okay, I think." She considers for a split second about telling him everything that happened earlier this morning before deciding against it, that wasn't a decision nor story for her to share. "I think we're growing onto each other."

"Really?" There was a hint of amusement in his voice. "Do tell."

"We haven't argued at all today," she tells him. "That's never happened before."

"Congratulations then," Sirius says. "Maybe you two could even up being friends . . . Or you know, something more."

"Are you seriously insinuating that I would end up with your brother as if I didn't tell you about my plans to suffocate him in his sleep?"

"Yes." She could hear his smile in his voice. "You never know when it comes to love."

Irritating. That's what Sirius was. "You have five seconds to tell me why you wanted us to call you or I'll hang up on the spot."

"Geez, woman, can't even joke around with you anymore. Is my brother really that insufferable?" She didn't answer. "Anywho, Dumbledore said that a student recently turned in a diary that looked like the one Voldemort used to carry round when he was still in Hogswart. He wanted the two of you to go in and take a look at it."

"Is that all?"

"Nope," Sirius says. "He said there's some memories he wanted you to comb through just in case he'd missed anything. And that's all I think."

"Okay, thanks Sirius."

"No problem, princess," he returned. "If you need anything just ask, we'll be there to help you in no time."

"I know, I know, you gave me this whole spiel a million times already."

"Just a reminder,” he says lightly. "Be careful, don't do anything rash. I would say don't be like me but you already knew that, the two of you are smarter than I'll ever be. Just remember to take care of yourselves will you?"

"Yes, I will. You too Sirius, you're quite reckless, don't forget to take care of yourself."

"I won't," he counters, and then. "Could I ask you for a favor?"

"Sure."

"Could you make sure that Regulus is being taken cared of? I know it's a lot to ask knowing your history but he—" he pauses, she could see the frustrated look he must've been wearing right about now. "—he tends to forget that he too is human. I don't want to . . ." Lose him. Sirius trails off.

"I'll try," she tells him. After all, Regulus Black was still a good man’s brother. "I'll talk to you later, Sirius."

"Yes," Sirius agreed, it's almost like she could see him nodding. "I'll talk to you later."

The calls end with her hanging up the phone. She steps out of the booth, Black watching her with expecting eyes. Waiting for her to fill him in, she only nudges her head back towards the direction of the alley way they came from.

Back to Hogswart they go.

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