-January, 1976
“She said yes!” James yelled as he entered the dorm.
Remus looked confused from where he was sitting in his bed, reading a book with a sleeping Sirius in his lap. “What?”
“Lily said yes!” James repeated, “I asked her out to Hogsmeade this weekend and she agreed!”
Sirius stirred in his sleep, grumbling about them being too loud.
“That’s great, Prongs!” Peter chimed in, “Where are you going to take her?”
James threw himself down on his bed with a sheepish smile, “She didn’t want it to be fancy or anything. We’re just going to get a drink at the three broomsticks and probably go to some shops, just spend the day together.”
“Amazing, Prongs. But can you shut up now? I’m trying to sleep,” Sirius mumbled.
James couldn’t stop smiling.
-January, 1976
“I’ll be honest,” Lily broke the silence on their way back to Hogwarts, “I didn’t expect much, but I really had a great time, James.”
James looked at her, she was looking shyly on the ground, kicking the snow in front of her. “Yeah?”
Lily nodded with a small smile, “Mhm.”
“I also had a great time, Lily,” James said softly, carefully taking her hand in his. She didn’t stop him.
Not much else was said between them on their walk. They’d spent the day together at Hogsmeade, eating and drinking at the three broomsticks, walking from shop to shop, and talking about stuff they like and didn’t like. Showing each other their real selves.
It was a comfortable silence which was soon interrupted by the screeching of Hogwarts students having a snowball fight in the courtyard. Lily started walking faster trying to avoid being hit by one of the flying snowballs, James was being pulled behind her since neither of them had let go of the others hand.
“Maybe we can do this again?” James whispered when they’d reached the portrait hole.
Lily smiled, “I’d love to.”
James wasn’t sure if it was too early to kiss her, was one date enough? Would she expect him to kiss her? People usually kissed on the first date, right? Maybe Lily didn’t want to. Maybe she-
The rambling going on in James’ head was stopped by Lily standing up on her toes, coming closer to James’ face. He took this as an invitation and moved his head closer. Bringing their lips together in a short kiss.
James kept his eyes closed for a second longer after they parted, one hand on her cheek and one still holding her hand. While opening his eyes he couldn’t stop the smile on his face as he was greeted by the picture of a blushing Lily. Who was also smiling.
“Should we go in?” she asked after a while. James only nodded.
-March, 1976
Tomorrow would be James and Lily’s two-month anniversary. They’d been officially together for two months.
Was it too early to say ‘I love you’? Was it too late?
James loved Lily. Of course he did. But he had never been in a relationship before and had no idea when it was appropriate to say it. Should he say it? Should he let her say it first?
James was freaking out a bit.
“Calm down, James,” Sirius said. “What are you on about?”
“I just don’t know.” James whined, “What if I say it, and she doesn’t say it back? Or- or I say it and she breaks up with me?”
“Why would she break up with you because you told her you love her?”
“Because- maybe she thinks I’m weird. Because it’s too soon. Is it too soon?”
“No,” Remus stated firmly, “James, if you know you love her then tell her. The worst thing that can happen is that she doesn’t feel the same way yet.”
“But that’s awful!”
“No,” Remus sighed, “It isn’t. Everyone’s feelings are different. It takes a different amount of time for different people to fall in love, and maybe she doesn’t love you now, but that doesn’t mean she won’t ever love you.”
“Yeah, okay. That’s true,” James breathed out, “I’ll tell her.”
-
“Do you love him?” Mary asked while filing her nails.
“Yeah, I think so,” Lily answered thoughtfully.
“Really?” Mary suddenly sat up, seeming much more interested in their relationship than before.
“Yes,” Lily said confused. James had told her to dress warm for their date later that night. Today was their two-month anniversary.
“You should tell him,” Mary stated, “He definitely loves you back.”
“Yeah,” Lily smiled softly, “I think I will.”
-
“Lily?” James asked nervously, “I want to tell you something.”
Lily furrowed her brows, “What is it?”
James looked around them, the snow was glittering in the moonlight. “Uhm,” was all he got out. Suddenly feeling like his throat was closing up, he was so nervous.
Lily turned around to look at him. They stood by the great lake, which was frozen. She’d dressed warmly, just like James had told her to do. Seeing her gentle smile melted something in him and the nervousness disappeared. He breathed out slowly.
“Can I tell you something first?” Lily suddenly asked, still looking at him gently.
James nodded, “Sure.”
“I love you.”
And everything bad that James had felt melted away and all that was left was the warmth growing bigger and bigger in his chest. James smiled broadly and hugged her.
“I love you too.”
-August, 1976
“Hello, Mrs Potter,” Lily greeted James’ mother. “It’s lovely to meet you.”
It was the first time Lily was at James’ house, the summer before their sixth year. They had decided that she would stay over for a few nights since they hadn’t met a single time in July. Lily had been travelling with her family, and James didn’t have a telephone at his house.
“Please, call me Effie, dear,” James’ mother said.
It was a lovely house, big, but not a mansion. For years Lily had thought James was a snobby rich kid. Turns out the ‘snobby’ part was wrong.
-
A week later Lily stood in the doorway about to leave for home. There was only a week left before she would be back at Hogwarts, and her parents wanted her home.
“It’s been lovely to have you here,” James’ mother said into Lily's hair, hugging her tightly, “You must visit more often.”
“Oh, I would love to, it’s been wonderful to be here,” Lily mumbled into her shoulder, she didn’t really want the hug to stop, “Thank you for having me.”
The walk to the bus stop wasn’t long, but it felt even shorter than it was. James held her hand tightly, and neither of them said a word. She would only be going home, and they would see each other in a week, but it still felt weirdly sad to leave.
“I’ll miss you,” James mumbled when he saw the bus coming. He quickly pulled her into a hug and she didn’t hesitate to hug back. The Potters were wonderful huggers she’d learned.
“I’ll miss you too,” Lily once again mumbled into a shoulder, “But it’ll only be a week. And then we’ll be with each other for months.”
James chuckled, “It’s going to be great. I’ll try to not irritate you too much.”
“You won’t,” Lily said, and kissed him before entering the bus.
Lily waved through the window and James waved back.
He stayed there until he couldn’t see the bus anymore.
-November, 1976
“Hey, I thought we could go to Hogsmeade together this weekend?” James asked when he sat down on the chair opposite his girlfriend, who was studying in the library.
Lily looked up and frowned lightly, “Oh, I’d love to, but I can’t,” she began softly, “I promised I would go with Mary, she didn't want to go alone.”
James felt slightly disappointed but he understood. “It’s fine. Where’s Marlene going to be?”
“She has a date,” Lily whispered enthusiastically.
James’ brows flew up to his hairline, “Really? With who?”
He had never once heard Marlene talk about a person she liked, her going on a date felt scandalous.
“You know that Slytherin girl in our potions class? Meadowes?”
James gasped, “Meadowes? Really?”
Lily nodded, looking smug, “Mhmm, apparently they’ve liked each other for quite some time. But, you know, both being girls…"
“Yeah,” James breathed.
Same-sex couples weren’t anything strange or looked down on in the wizarding world. But there were a lot of people who’d grown up with the ‘must produce an heir’ mindset, and they usually weren’t too keen on the idea that two people ignored their obligation to their family.
And then there were the muggle-borns, who’ve grown up in the muggle world. Where, Lily had taught James about this, homosexuality is frowned upon by a large number of people.
“Meadowes is friends with Regulus, right?” Lily suddenly asked.
James shrugged, suddenly he felt nervous, “I don’t know.”
Lily frowned, “You don’t know?”
“No, why would I know?”
Lily snorted, “Maybe because you’re best friends with his brother?”
James shrugged once more, “Sirius doesn’t talk about him a lot. And I don’t really make it a habit to pay attention to Regulus.”
“I was just asking, no need to sound so defensive,” she said with a funny look on her face.
-February, 1977
“James?” Lily said into the dorm. She would’ve knocked but the door was already open.
“In the bathroom,” James yelled from the closed door. Lily invited herself and sat down on James’ bed. “I’ll be out in a second."
Lily didn’t bother to answer. Instead, she decided to look around the room. It wasn’t as messy as it usually is, Remus had a habit of just leaving his things around the room as if all the space was his. James was the opposite, he liked things tidy and organized. She thought that was ironic considering his hair was always messy.
“What’s up?” James asked, walking out of the bathroom. He only had a towel around his waist. Lily wasn’t too interested in his naked body though.
“I was just going to ask if you wanted to study for the potion test with me after dinner?” she asked, her eyes following James as he went to close the door to his dorm, walk to the closet and pull out a pair of trousers.
“Sorry, I can’t,” he said with a slight frown, pulling on his pants and then trousers. Lily made a point to look away.
“Oh, why?” Lily asked, only putting her eyes back on her boyfriend when she was sure he’d covered any private parts.
“I planned to play some quidditch with Regulus after dinner,” he answered absentmindedly. Looking into the mirror and holding a sweater in front of him. Putting that one down and doing the same with another sweater. He did this with four more sweaters before deciding on one.
“Why did you shower if you’re just going to get sweaty again later?” Lily questioned.
James stilled, looking confused. “I didn’t realise,” he chuckled, “I guess I’ll just have to shower again tonight.”
James looked and Lily through the mirror and gave her a small smile. She was staring at his hands, which were currently combing through his hair, trying to tame it. Lily smiled back weakly.
James sighed and sat down beside her, “No need to look so suspicious,” he kissed her, “I’m just going to play some quidditch.”
-March, 1977
“No,” James sighed, “I just feel like we don’t really hang out much anymore.”
“And who’s fault is that?” Lily questioned irritated.
James looked confused, “Yours,” he stated firmly.
Lily snapped her head to him, raised her brows, and hissed, “My fault?”
“Yes!” James snapped, “You’re always with Mary!”
Lily seemed to deflate, “I- I’m not always with Mary.”
“Yes, you are,” James said flatly and bent down to pull off his shoes.
Lily hugged her arms around herself, “I didn’t realise. I’m sorry,” she whispered.
James instantly felt bad, he quickly stood up and pulled her into himself. “No, you don’t have to apologize,” he murmured into her hair, “It’s fine. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset.”
-April, 1977
“Literally a month ago you were whining about me ‘always being with Mary’!” Lily snapped.
“That’s different!” James exclaimed, throwing his arms out from his body.
“HOW?” Lily couldn’t handle this. She was getting too angry too fast.
“IT JUST IS!!” James didn’t have an explanation for why it was different.
Lily crossed her arms, her eyes had a fire in them. “You were upset that I hung out with Mary too much. I apologized and bettered myself. Now I’m upset that you hang out with Regulus too much, and you say it’s different. That makes no sense, James,” her voice was empty.
James felt the shame build in his stomach, he knew she was right. But he wasn’t sure how to explain himself.
“I’m sorry,” he began, Lily huffed and turned around to walk out of the dorm. “No, wait!”
Lily looked at James with a face that said ‘One more mistake, and I’m leaving.’
“I’m sorry. Okay, I- I don’t know how to explain it,” James tried, Lily rolled her eyes, “I- ever since Sirius and Regulus started living with me I- I’ve just had this need to see that they’re alright.”
“You didn’t see how they looked when I opened that door on new years, Lily. I thought Sirius was dead, and- and Regulus was in really bad shape for days after that,” James’ hands were shaking, he decided to sit down.
“It’s- I’m not meaning to- to ignore you or something. I just- I mean- I share a dorm with Sirius so I always know when he’s feeling bad or whatever. But Regulus- I don’t see him in class, we barely ever meet in the corridors, and there’s not a single moment during the day when I can talk to him. And just seeing him across the great hall isn’t enough. I feel like I have to really make sure he’s okay,” he finished.
Lily sighed and sat down beside him, she took his hands in hers. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
Lily nodded, “Okay. I understand, but that doesn’t mean that I’m still not upset. But I understand. It’s okay.”
-May, 1977
“I think Lily might be cheating on me.”
“She thinks you’re cheating on her as well.”
-
“You thought I was cheating on you!?” Lily and James yelled at the same time.
“I would never cheat on you. Never,” Lily hissed.
“But you think so lowly of me that you think I would?” James snapped.
“You haven’t exactly been giving me much to work with. What else would I think?”
“Do you hear yourself?”
“I am hearing perfectly fine. Why shouldn’t I think you’re cheating?”
“Why shouldn’t I think you’re cheating?”
- May, 1977
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
-May, 1977
“Are you sure you’re still in love with Lily?” Remus asked.
-
“I don’t know, Mary,” Lily answered.
-June, 1977
“Why are you being so mean?” James scoffed.
“I’m not being mean.”
“You are,” James stated, “You’ve been ignoring me, and when you’re not ignoring me you’re irritated with me. I can take a joke, but lately, you’ve been actually hurting my feelings.”
Lily looked sad, “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“You didn’t mean to hurt my feelings?” James raised his brows, looking done, “But you did mean to ignore me?”
Lily didn’t say anything before James left the room.
-June, 1977
“I’m so sorry, so, so sorry,” Lily sobbed into her hands.
She’d gone to James’ dorm and asked if they could talk. Everyone except James had rushed out and now both of them were crying after a week of ignoring each other.
“Why?” was all James asked, sounding hurt.
“I’m not in love with you anymore,” Lily choked out.
-July, 1977
“Come on, James. It’s summer,” Sirius whined.
It wasn’t fair that Lily broke up with James right before summer break. James had been a moping ball of sadness for two weeks and Sirius was tired of it.
“You can be sad more tonight, can we pleaseee play quidditch.”
Sirius had tried with everything to get James to do something other than sulk. The only thing that got him out of bed was food.
“Please, James. I’m so bored,” Sirius continued his whining, laying down dramatically on his friend's bed.
“Hang out with Regulus,” James mumbled into his pillow.
Sirius sighed, “But Regulus is so boring. All he does is read, and whenever we hang out he always asks how you are.”
This apparently got James’ attention, “He asks about me?”
Sirius pouted at James’ interest in his brother, “Yes.”
“Oh,”
Sirius rolled his eyes, “If I get Regulus to join, can you please play quidditch with us?”
James let out a dramatic sigh, “You won’t give up, will you?"
“Nope.”
“Okay.”
-July/August, 1977
“No, that’s not how you do it!” Regulus chuckled, grabbing the scissors from James’ hand. “You’ll ruin it if you do it like that."
Regulus had asked James if he wanted to help him fix the bushes in the garden. James hadn’t been sure what that meant but he hadn’t hesitated before agreeing.
“I am so bad at this,” James whined.
“No, you’re not,” Regulus assured him, “Stop talking so negatively about yourself.”
James looked at Regulus who was fixing the thing James had done wrong, he still wasn’t sure what he actually had done wrong.
“Okay,” he whispered, not realising how warm his stare burned into Regulus’ cheeks.
-
“What did you think of it?” Regulus asked when he noticed James had finished the book he’d lent him.
James stared at the closed book laying in his lap, “I- I’m not sure. It was very…”
“Very?”
“It was good, I liked it,” James began, “It was very… I’m not sure how to describe it.”
Regulus smirked, “Good or bad?”
“Good. Definitely good.”
“Okay, so you like the Picture of Dorian Gray,” Regulus said thoughtfully, “You weren’t too keen on Frankenstein, but you did like Wuthering Heights.”
“Mhm,” James said absentmindedly, staring at the boy in front of him, “What should I read next?”
“Maybe… Jane Eyre?”
“Sure.”
Regulus laughed, “You don’t even know what it’s about, James.”
“If you like it then I’m going to read it.”
-
“How do I do this?” Regulus asked frantically.
James couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his mouth, “Not like that!”
“Show me then!” Regulus shrieked, “I’ve never baked bread a single time in my life, James. Stop laughing at me!”
“I’m sorry,” James choked out between laughs, “I’m sorry. You’re very cute. Here, let me show you. You need to do it like this.”
-August, 1977
“You’re already over Lily?” Sirius asked as he pulled the duvet over himself.
“What?” James asked confused. Had Sirius really crawled into James’ bed to torment him about his ex the week before he had to see her again?
“Well, I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been flirting with my brother quite a lot this summer,” Sirius stated matter-of-factly.
James snapped his head to look at him, but he couldn’t see anything because of the darkness. “What?” he asked once more, this time with more panic in his voice.
“You’ve been flirting with my brother, James.”
“N-no. No, I haven’t,” he tried to deny.
“Yes, you have.”
James felt a lump form in his throat, “I have?”
“You have.”
“ Oh, ”
-September, 1977
“James?” Lily muttered into the compartment.
James looked up at her from where he was sitting. She didn’t look great. “Hi.”
“Can we talk?” she asked.
James nodded, “Sure.”
James stood up and followed her into an empty compartment at the end of the carriage.
“We didn’t part very well,” Lily stated.
James snorted, “No, we certainly didn’t.”
“James, I really am sorry.” Lily choked, “It was so wrong of me to act that way. I just didn’t know what to do, I was panicking so much those last weeks.”
James frowned, “I- it’s okay, Lily. Sure, it hurt. But it’s fine, and I understand now that we probably should’ve broken up way earlier considering everything. I… I was acting like an arse to you as well. I’m also sorry.”
“It’s fine. I really did love you, James,” Lily wiped her face on her sleeve, “I still love you, you’re one of my best friends.”
James nodded, “But you’re not in love with me. I get it, Lily. We can’t control our feelings.”
Lily let out a wet laugh, “No, we certainly can’t.”
“Hey, it’s okay.” James said, hugging her, “I don’t resent you or anything. And I really hope you don’t hate me. You’re one of my best friends too.”
Lily buried her face in James’ chest, “There’s something I need to tell you,” she whispered.
James hugged her tightly, “You can tell me anything.”
“I- I didn’t break up with you just because I lost my feelings for you. I also realised something about me, something that I probably should’ve realised months earlier.”
James held his breath, “What?” he whispered.
“I’m in love with Mary."
“Oh,” James breathed out, “That’s okay.”
“Is it?” Lily croaked out.
“Yes,” James said firmly. “It is.”
Lily let out a sob, “I love you, James.”
“I love you too, Lils.”
-September, 1977
“Soo, there’s something I probably should tell you as well,” James stated when Lily finally calmed down. They hadn’t gone back to the other compartments yet.
“Hm?”
“Ehm, so Sirius sort of cornered me one night, like a week ago,” he began, Lily nodded, “He asked me if I’d already gotten over you.”
Lily looked confused. “Why?”
“Well, apparently I’ve been- I’ve been flirting with Regulus basically all summer.” James rushed out, “I didn’t even realise it. It must’ve just come naturally because I didn’t mean to and then Sirius pointed it out. I was freaking out but then I realised that I maybe- sort of- you know, fancy Regulus.”
Lily’s eyes widened, “Oh.”
“Oh?”
“I- well, that’s great!” she exclaimed.
“How is that great?” James demanded.
Lily laughed, “He obviously likes you, James.”
“What.”
“He does. I promise.”
James only stared at her.
“I promise, James,” Lily said firmly, “Ask him out.”
“I’ll ask him out if you tell Mary how you feel,” James offered.
“Deal.”
-September, 1977
“James. James. James,” Lily repeated as she entered the quiet dorm. “James?”
“In here!” he answered from the bathroom.
“This feels vaguely familiar,” Lily pondered when James opened the door with only a towel around his waist.
He laughed, “Yeah, it does. Merlin, we should’ve known then already. You couldn’t even look at me when I changed.”
Lily scoffed, “Excuse me, I just didn’t want to see your- your genitalia."
James raised his brows suspiciously, “It wouldn’t have been the first time you saw it, though?”
Lily groaned, “I don’t want to talk about that. I came here for a reason.”
“You didn’t come here just because you wanted to see me?” James asked, putting his hand over his heart, pretending to be hurt.
“Stop,” Lily said flatly, “You have to ask out Regulus.”
James froze, “What?”
Lily smirked, “I told Mary how I feel. You have to ask out Regulus.”
“Okay?” James frowned, “How did it go with Mary!”
Lily couldn’t help the shy smile creeping up on her face, “She felt the same.”
“Merlin, I knew it!” James grinned like crazy, “That’s so great, Lily!”
“Yes. Yes!” Lily laughed, “It is! James, please stop jumping around. I really don’t want to see-”
“My genitalia?”
Lily scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Your cock.”
James gasped, “Lily Evans! Such brutal words.”
“Well, I told Mary, you have to ask out Regulus now,” Lily said stubbornly.
James pouted, “I guess.”
-October, 1977
“Lily! Lily! Lily!” James repeated as he entered the common room. “Lily, please follow me.”
Lily, who was sitting in one of the chairs, looked up confused at James but followed nonetheless.
“What is it?” she asked once she’d entered his dorm and closed the door.
“I asked Regulus out,” James looked panicked.
“Oh my god!” Lily burst out, “Well! How did it go?!”
James’ expression didn’t change, “He said yes.”
“Why aren’t you happy about that?” Lily worried.
“I am! I really am!” James said, “But I’m also freaking out.”
Lily looked confused, “Why?”
“What am I going to wear?” James whined.
Lily scoffed, “I was really worried, and you’re panicked about what you’re going to wear?”
“It’s a serious problem, Lily.”
“What have you planned to do?”
“I actually don’t know. We didn’t really… discuss it very much,” James said awkwardly.
Lily snorted and slapped him on his shoulder, “Idiot. But since it’s autumn, you should probably wear something warm.”
James pouted, “Obviously.”