Je te déteste
As Dumbledore said, the owl with instructions knocked on the window glass of Remus micro-flat the same day in the evening. He sat on his bed (which also was his couch, desk and occasionally a wardrobe) with a letter in hands. It wasn’t long, mostly explaining where and when the two of them will meet to begin the mission and that by permission of the Minister they have a ‘withdrawal from official duties’ for a month. That’s why Remus assumed it must be a calculated the longest period of time they need to end the mission. He had a feeling that it’s really short period for a big matter like that but the sooner they will end this the better and in a month he will be a respected worker of the Ministry.
He leaned his back on a wall, looking around at his flat. Maybe if he gets a promotion he will be able to afford something better. Maybe he will get himself a separate bedroom (not that he has any guest to invite to his house but would be nice) or maybe a separate kitchen. Oh god, the separate kitchen.
Remus shook his head returning to the letter. It was slightly dangerous to think so ahead in future, he may get his hopes too high.
So, the Minister’s permission… He wondered how Dumbledore got that. Maybe another ‘little favour’? Maybe for something that was connected to the war? Remus wasn’t participating in it but he heard a lot of rumours and all of them said that the Order was much more than helpful during that time. Must be it cause the Dumbledore and the Minister aren’t really on the good terms, or so everyone is saying.
Anyway, the letter wasn’t really helpful. There was no description of the actual mission, only a vague piece of information that the whole thing will take place mostly in forests in or outside the UK. Although, that wasn’t the part which made Remus frown, it was a postscript written in elegant cursive.
PS. Listen to Mr. Black’s instructions. He’s more experienced, he will lead you.
“What the hell?!” Remus rose immediately from his bed looking at the letter in disbelief. “There’s no way I’m gonna listen to that fucker! And how on Earth is he more experienced?!” He started to pace around the small room. “He would die in a second without me in the forest! He doesn’t know shit about how it’s like-!”
He gritted he’s teeth, trying to calm down a little.
“Whatever. If he dies then he dies, what do I care. Besides, it’s not like we’re gonna be there together hand in hand like some lovebirds on a date, it’s cooperation, nothing more, each of us will do his job on his own.” Remus sat again.
***
Next day he woke up a little too late and run to the place of meeting the fastest he could, which was rather slow considering his aching body. It wasn’t really that far from the last full moon.
He lost himself twice and ended up being late by twenty three minutes. Would be just twenty but he stopped in some distance gaping at Sirius who stood near a cinema’s entrance. The man was in a full muggle outfit, looking absolutely gorgeous. He never thought he would see Sirius in some black jeans and a band t-shirt which, to his surprise, looked kinda worn out. And, oh god, Black with fancy sunglasses chewing a gum and leaning casually on a wall. He needed a second to pull himself together.
“You’re late” said Black when he came closer and Remus had no idea if the boy is looking at him because of the sunglasses.
Remus still in shock felt for a while like on his first day of new job when he had giant and ulterior crush on the perfect Black. It was the time when they haven’t know each other, not personally, but Remus saw him sometimes in the corridors. He imagined a lot back then and met his expectations of ‘charming, flirty, open-minded’ Black with crashing reality.
Long story short, Black turned out to be one very sarcastic arsehole with some imaginary sense of superiority.
Yet, he still sometimes admire the man quietly from some distance. There’s a reason you shouldn’t get close to a piece of art (and the more to touch it).
“I… overslept.”
“Poor thing.” Sirius send him a mocking smile. Okay, admiring has ended, the arsehole Black is here. “You wouldn’t last a day as an auror”
You wouldn’t last in a forest. Let’s see how long it will take for you to whine to me for a help, was what Remus would like to say, but he needed to stay quiet about more than a few things.
“Well-”
“You guys are going to watch the ‘One crazy summer’?” They turned around immediately hearing squeaky voice. There was a short girl standing next to them, looking pretty nice. “Maybe you want to join us?” She pointed at three other girls that were standing in some distance behind her.
Sirius smiled cheekily and shuffled through his hair ready for some really compelling answer. Remus felt as his pressure increase. Of course, Black has to take an advantage of every single bloody time to flirt with girls. He felt uncomfortable.
“Not interested.” Remus said in a hard voice, not letting the other man a chance to speak.
The girl went away with mixed expression.
“Congrats, Lupin. Smooth as hell.” Sirius barked at him.
“We’re not here to look for a date.”
“No, but we look like we do.”
Well… right. Standing alone by the cinema at the time when the romantic comedy is shown up looking like they wait for someone must be confusing for some people. The girls had the right to think they’re looking for a date. Although, some might think they already are on a date. Remus shivered.
“That doesn’t mean you need to flirt with them. It’s already enough to see how you look at them, spare me the rest.”
“Merlin, Remus, find yourself someone and stop acting like some swotty virgin.” Sirius still didn’t take off his glasses but Remus was sure he rolled his eyes annoyingly.
“Well, I’m not a virgin, but yeah, how would you know that if I, unlike you, am not spreading around news how many asses I fucked.”
“I’d never talked with anyone about my sex life.” He crossed his arms like that would help in his self-defence.
“What a surprise, the rumours say the otherwise. But if what you’re saying is true, then maybe you should change that and talked to someone.” Sirius frowned deeply. “I suggest a therapist.”
Sirius turned red with anger and was ready to continue the quarrel, but then he shuffled through his hair again and he calmed down suddenly. Must be a nervous tick of his.
“Let’s be professional, Lupin. We’re here to do our job.”
“Right.” He muttered under his nose.
“We will apparate to the Galloway Forest. It’s the biggest so it’ll be the hardest, best for the beginning.”
“What about food? Accommodation?”
“We will apparate back to spend a night in a town near the forest. For now, before we get to Galloway we’ll go for something to eat. You ate breakfast?”
“Not yet.”
Remus was feeling a bit weird seeing Black in full organisational mood. He seemed… mature.
They went to a cheap pub in the suburbs. He rose his eyebrows when he saw the pub Sirius chose, he would never thought that Black’d even look at a place like this, not to mention getting inside.
They sat in the farthest corner, so that they wouldn’t be seen from the street.
“Choose whatever you like” said Sirius pushing the menu towards him. “I’m paying.”
Maybe Remus was wrong about this meeting not being a date.
“Chicken sandwich” he said, not knowing any better respond. He wanted to go with something sarcastic, but couldn’t think of anything good, especially knowing that Sirius is doing him a favour (yet he doesn’t like receiving others money, what a mess). Sirius walked straight to the bar.
“Two chicken sandwiches, please” he said to the girl at the counter with that bright grin of his.
“Anything else to that sandwiches?” the girl leaned slightly, lying her breasts on the table top right in front of him.
“Your number would be perfect” he took off the sunglasses and winked. “And a chocolate cake if you can.”
“As you wish, sir.”
The girl disappeared and Sirius returned to his table still wearing this bright grin on his mouth.
“Why can’t you be like that to me?” Remus said before he could think what he’s saying.
“Flirty?” Sirius smirked but dryly, like he pushed himself.
“No, Merlin, no. I mean… kind.”
“You don’t deserve it.”
Remus’ eyes widened.
“I… Excuse me, what?”
“You heard me.”
Remus was looking at him in disbelief. He knew Black is a huge dick but never thought it was that bad.
“Why?”
“You-” he seemed to be struggling with something “-you are… not kind to me. Why should I be kind to you?”
It was weird. As if Sirius changed his mind in a middle of the sentence. And he seemed to close off to him. Not that he was ever opened to him, but that was like a wall between them.
“So, if I’m nice to you, you will be kind as well?”
“What kind of conversation is this anyway?!”
“Will you?” Remus was stubborn. He had so enough of Sirius’ shitty attitude towards him.
“Look, I will be glad if I won’t have to look at you in the future. Oh, then I will be so kind.”
“What’s your problem with me anyway?!”
“You are the problem itself.” Sirius averted his sight looking at a vintage jukebox in opposite corner. “And don’t get me wrong, you wouldn’t have any idea what I’m talking about even if I explain it to you” he smile a little at the end.
“So you’re basically telling me that you hate me without any sensible reason?”
“It’s just… a really weird situation.”
“Oh, it is indeed.” Remus stared at the auror stubbornly but Sirius was still looking away. “But you said it yourself, ‘let’s be professional’. At least try to act like you don’t hate me.”
“… I’ll try.” Sirius eyes were back on him and they were uncertain.
He don’t know why he cause so many emotions in Sirius. Once he’s flirty and charming, the other time he’s angry and impulsive. And there are times like this, when he is in this disturbing state. He looks like his on the edge, like he has something more, something different to say. Merlin, he looks like he’s asking for help, Remus thought. But then he closes himself off again.
And yet he wasn’t brave enough to ask.
“Good.”
They hadn't talked any more since the girl brought them their order with a tiny napkin and written phone number on it.
The silence wasn’t half bad and Remus mind started to drift away. He thought about the whole mission, how will he be able to go through it, especially with this moody partner of his. Will he really be any kinder to him after what he said? And how exactly are they gonna deal with Death Eaters? The whole mission has such a big loops that-
“It’s for you.”
“What?” Remus jerked his head up.
“The cake, it’s for you. I don’t like sweets.” Sirius pointed at massive brownie. “While you're eating it, I will go grab something for dinner. We’ll meet in front of a pub.”
“… Okay?”
Sirius passed by him and in a halfway to the door he turned around. “Sorry for our quarrels.”
And he left, leaving Remus completely dumbfounded.