Attack of The Letters
Scene:
Another owl flies by with a letter and drops it off. Inside, Vernon grabs a handful of letters and rips them up.
Once again the hall gasps
In the closet, Harry hears a whirring noise. He looks out at Vernon drilling wood over the letterbox opening.
Vernon: No more mail through this letterbox.
“Whelp he’s gone completely mad,” Ron said
“Like he wasn’t before honestly Ron,” Hermione rolled her eyes
Scene:
They appear to be in a large cave surrounded by computers.
“You actually meant a cave,” Remus whispered incredulously and Mad-eye squinted discerningly, however the background of the cave was blurred out.
Bruce: anything
“What are you doing,” Sirius tilted his head like a confused puppy
Nadia: the ink appears to be ink you use with a quill though the source is unknown and the calligraphy is impossibly perfect for each one.
Every Aurors jaw dropped in shock
“We use self addressing quill,” whispered McGonagall at the questioning looks
Suddenly Allfred comes down the elevator wordlessly holding up several more letters. (the background of the cave is blurred behind them)
Scene:
Outside, Vernon and Petunia appear. Vernon is about to head off to work. Petunia kisses his cheek.
Petunia: Have a lovely day at the office, dear.
She stops, looks and sees a bunch of owls.
Vernon: Shoo! Go on!
“That won't work,” scoffed Blaise Zabini
Scene:
Calla: well this is getting serious
Calla stared at the large pile of letters
“Only now is it getting serious,” Snape turned to her looking at her in what some would call fond exasperation. Many students' jaws dropped in shock at the blatant fondness for a Ravenclaw.
Scene:
Inside. Vernon is tossing letters into the fireplace. Harry comes around the corner. Vernon grins evilly and tosses more in.
“Filthy Muggle,” Malfoy sneered many pure bloods nodded in agreement
Scene:
Calla: What do you think this means? Why am I getting so many letters? What's inside them? Why is my name wrong? How are they stalking me? And why do they think I’m a witch? JUST TELL MEEEEE!
The camera pans to show her ranting to the BatCow and Jerry the turkey
People turn to Calla like she's insane. Calla sniffed at her undignified behavior.
Scene:
Living/Family room. The family is sitting around, Harry is serving cookies.
Vernon: Fine day Sunday. In my opinion, best day of the week. Why is that, Dudley?
Dudley shrugs.
Harry: {Hands cookie to Vernon} Because there's no post on Sunday?
Vernon: Ah, right you are, Harry.
“He must have been chipper if he said I was right,” Harry shrugged
No post on Sunday. Hah! No blasted letters today. No, sir. {Harry sees a shadow outside the window. Outside, millions of owls are perched.} No sir, not one blasted, miserable---
A letter shoots out of the fireplace and zips across Vernons face. There is a rumbling and then zillions of letters come shooting out of the fireplace.
Dudley: AHH! Make it stop! Please make it stop! {He jumps on Petunias lap}
“I’m surprised her legs didn’t snap,” Ron pointed out
Petunia and Vernon: {Screaming}
Vernon: Go away, ahh!
Dudley: What is it? Please tell me what's happening!
Harry jumps onto the coffee table to grab a letter.
Calla raises her eyebrows at Harry, unimpressed who just shrugs.
He gets one and starts to run away. Vernon jumps up as well.
Vernon: Give me that! Give me that letter!
He chases Harry and grabs him before Harry gets into his closet.
“So many painful ways to kill him it's so hard to choose,” Calla cackled once more the trio and her informants not even batting an eye.
Harry: Get off! Ahh!
Vernon: Ahh!
Harry: They're my letters! Let go of me!
Vernon: That's it! We're going away! Far away! Where they can't find us!
Dudley: Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?!
“Little slow on the uptake isn’t he,” Ginny snorted out
Scene:
Damian: when I find this stalker I'm going to…
Bruce: no killing but he's definitely going to prison
“At least someone sensible is in charge,” Hermione sniffed towards Calla
“Bruce is about as sensible as a paper bag and yet he still manages to be more sensible than Fudge,” Calla replied in a similar tone
Jason: you limit yourself I’ll take care of him
Several people choke on air at the clear teenager suggesting murder.
Steph: or her don’t be sexist Jason
“That's not the problem with Jason’s previous statement,” Remus pinched the bridge of his nose
Bruce: there will be no murder
“Thank you,” James told the T.V.
For a second it looks like Bruce is going to continue his speech when letters start to pour through every entrance which continue for a few minutes before they stop and look at the letter half burying them.
“How are you all so calm,” Lily gasped
Barbra: your stalker you clean
“That's fair,” Calla sighed which gained several surprised and concerned looks
There are several nods of agreement then Tim passes out.
Several people snort and laugh.