Black Rose [Regulus Black]

The day started out normally for Alessandra Rosier.

She got up, frowned at her rumpled jeans and shirt - and then assumed shat she'd just fallen asleep in them because she was that tired.

Her morning routine was the same: getting ready for work, listening to the radio for a while, sorting out her finances. An hour before she was supposed to go for work, she started to make breakfast for herself (warm porridge).

She sat down at the dining table, flipping through a comic Chelsea had bought for her, the sugar on her porridge still melting, when she heard footsteps outside her apartment. She didn't think much of it.

Not until the door swung open with no warning.

⚜

It had been a day.

Precisely, 29 hours and 16 minutes since Regulus Black realised Alessandra Rosier was missing.

And she'd never come back.

In those 29 hours and 16 minutes, he'd eaten only two meals, drank about three glasses of water, slept for exactly two minutes, and hadn't moved an inch.

"Regulus," Lily said slowly, snapping her fingers in front of his face. "I really think you should eat." The Marauders had taken it upon themselves to act like babysitters, each taking a shift to watch Regulus sit in Sirius and Remus' apartment, unmoving.

"I'm not hungry," he said dully, his answer the same as before.

"At least have some biscuits?"

The biscuits. Her tins of biscuits on the table in her living room.

Was this how it was going to be? Just every small thing reminding him of her.

"I don't want any." They tasted like dust, just like everything else did.

"Some water then?"

"I don't want anything."

He was vaguely aware of Lily making a face and retreating into the kitchen.

He could not bring himself to care.

He blinked in surprise when she came back with a plate of food.

He could not bring himself to thank her.

A few moments of awkward silence passed and Lily opened her mouth to say something. Regulus eyed her warily as she opened and shut her mouth as if contemplating how to phrase it.

Thankfully, they were both saved by a silvery creature floating in through the window, which made them both flinch. The creature (upon further inspection, he noticed it was a dog) floated around them for a while, padding around as though trying to catch an imaginary ball or something, and Regulus reached for his wand.

They both flinched yet again when Sirius spoke in a booming voice, his words emanating straight from the mouth of the creature, which Regulus was now understanding was a Patronus. "Someone went into Alessandra's house just now. The three of us are now on our way there."

The Patronus dissipated, leaving dead silence in the room.

Then, for the first time in days, Regulus felt something within him burst to life. It wasn't joy, it was a sense of anger, a sense of grim satisfaction, that he was going to get his hands on the person who did this. He sprang to his feet, causing Lily to squeak in surprise.

"Wait, I'm coming with you."

"You shouldn't. You're pregnant and I don't want to risk Apparition. Don't worry, we'll keep you updated. Stay here only, don't go out, it's risky."

And he was gone with a crack, landing in front of Alessandra's apartment building. His pulse was beating frantically as he climbed up the stairs, mind already turning a hazy red at the pain he would inflict on the person who touched a hair on her head. What he did to that person would be nothing compared to how shattered Regulus had felt those past few days and what that person may have done to Alessandra.

It would be the first time he killed someone, and he knew the only thing he'd regret was not making that person suffer.

When he approached her door, he saw James, Sirius and Remus standing there, wands at the ready.

"We can hear sounds from inside," Sirius whispered. "We're going to barge in, on the attack straight away. Don't cause harm right away, we just have to immobilize them so we can get information from them."

Regulus nodded, barely listening to a word his brother said. The itch to kick open that door was frightening, overwhelming.

They stood there in combative stances, just on the side of the door to miss as many spells thrown their way as possible. James raised his hand and counted down to one, and then kicked the door.

The door went flying open... and there stood Alessandra.

"Oh my God, you guys scared the living daylights out of me!" she yelled, placing a hand over her chest. Regulus' eyes were flying frantically over her, trying to tell if something was out of place or whether she had any visible signs of injury. "Couldn't you have just rung the doorbell? I would have opened the door in a minute. Jesus."

The pressure in Regulus' head was too much and he sank to his knees. Alessandra's concerned eyes flew to him instantly. "Reg? Regulus? Shit? What happened?" she ran across the living room, presumably to help him up. They wouldn't know because Remus pointed his wand at her.

"What the hell?"

"Tell us something only Alessandra knows," he demanded gruffly, and she took a step back, her eyes — green eyes — wide in shock.

"What?!"

"Regulus, Regulus," Sirius tried pulling him up. "Ask her something only she would know."

"K-Kreacher," he croaked, throat suddenly dry. He couldn't comprehend anything in that moment, everything seemed so distant and blurry, the only things keeping him grounded his fast heartbeat and bright green eyes.

Thankfully, Sirius got what he meant. "Summon Kreacher."

"How?! What the fuck? What happened?"

"Just yell for Kreacher the way he does," Sirius tilted his head.

"I- I don't know, Kreacher? What? Kreacher? I'm so confused."

She flew about a metre high in the air when there was a crack and Kreacher apparated in. "Yes?"

The moment the house-elf's big, bulbous eyes landed on Sirius, an expression of disgust took over his face. "The bloodtraitor, disgrace to the-"

"Kreacher, leave please. And don't tell Mother a word about this."

Casting one last scathing look at Sirius, Kreacher apparated away.

The Marauders (well, three of them) lowered their wands. "It's her. Probably." Remus kept his gaze narrowed on her in suspicion.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she demanded in exasperation. "Why are you all being so cryptic? What happened? Shit, did someone die?"

"We thought you did!" Regulus exploded. "Where were you?!"

"Me?" she asked, stunned. "What made you think that?"

"You weren't anywhere! You didn't show up for our date."

She looked sheepish. "I guess I forgot about that. But still, you could have come to the restaurant!"

"I did! We checked everywhere you could've been. The stores in the area, the restaurant, your friend's house..." Regulus' voice broke off. "Do you have any idea how scared we were?"

"But... I was at work..."

"No you weren't. Everybody there said you hadn't showed up."

She laughed. "Alright, this is absurd. Is this some sort of April Fools' in advance joke? Because it's not funny."

Her laughter died when she noticed that all four of them looked grim. And scared.

"I- I don't know, Reg, are you sure you were at the correct restaurant?" Remus asked, rubbing his forehead.

Reg buried his hands in his head and nodded.

Alessandra was feeling creeped out now. What was happening?

"We could go to Dumbledore..." James mused. "They may put her in a safe house."

"Safe house?! I'm not staying in a safe house!"

"You really should," Regulus whispered feebly. "You likely have a target on your head, due to circumstances."

"What circumstances?" Lupin asked curiously.

Alessandra hesitated. She was sure that the Marauders were good people but she didn't want to tell many people because if word got out, she'd no longer have a head to have a target on. Besides, there were no records of her, they'd all been wiped clean by the Rosiers. It was unlikely anybody knew who her father was, and it was better that way.

"You know... Muggle..." she lifted her arms awkwardly and then folded them.

They eyed her suspiciously.

"Right..." James said. "Either way, I think you should stay somewhere else."

"But why? I don't get what's happening."

None of them answered her: they all just stared at her like she was some new fascinating species of... unicorn that came out of a seagull or something.

"Maybe her memories were wiped," Sirius mused. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" she cried out indignantly. "I feel fine. All this because I didn't show up for a date?!"

"Alessandra," Regulus staggered to his feet, eyes bloodshot. "You vanished for over two days."

"I did not."

"Do you know what today's date is?"

"Yes? 16th January?"

Remus shook his head and waved his wand, and a newspaper materialized. He thrust it into her hands.

18th January, 1980.

She laughed nervously. "Okay. Okay! You got me. I totally believe you."

"We are serious."

"Blimey, there's four of them now!"

"Alessandra."

"I'm sorry, but this is absurd! Your prank isn't funny anymore, it's just pissing me off now."

"It's not a prank."

There was total silence.

"Like, actually?"

"Yep," Remus' eyes looked like they were a million miles away. "We've been worried sick. Regulus hasn't slept for over a day now, I think."

Her eyes, which kept sliding over to Regulus, firmly stayed on him. There were obvious dark circles under his eyes and she suddenly felt a gripping sense of guilt.

"We should tell Dumbledore," James announced. "He'll put her in a safe house or something."

"Safe house?" she felt sick to her stomach. "Like in those action movies?"

"Something along those lines," Remus nodded. "It's for the best."

"I'm not putting my life on hold because of this!" she cried out indignantly. "I have places to go, I need to work, how will the house be paid for?!"

"You probably shouldn't stay here either."

"I'm not leaving! Reg, tell them."

Thinking about it, Regulus realised that a safe house wouldn't do. He had no faith in the Order, what with the mole in their midst and the fact that they didn't trust him much. For all he knew, they'd find out the truth about her and then use her as a pawn. No, it was too risky.

"I don't think we should tell Dumbledore, the safe house won't help."

"Thank you!"

"I still think you shouldn't live here. Maybe you can stay in Grimmauld Place while we try to figure things out."

"What?! No! How will that work?"

"Reg, that bitch will feed Alessandra to the wolves," Sirius interjected.

"She hates me!"

"We'll figure it out. She doesn't have to know."

"So, so what, I'm gonna live in your basement?"

"No!" Regulus exclaimed, looking insulted. "You'll live in the attic."

"I- what?"

"She can't live in the attic!" Sirius argued, and she thanked the stars that at least one of them was being rational. "It's too dusty. Kreacher should clean it before she lives there."

Never mind.

This was absurd.

How was this her life.

"Or, or... I could just live here."

"Absolutely not," Regulus replied.

"It's just a house," Remus said kindly. "Don't worry, you can use magic to move. You can even live in our apartment if you want."

"I can't! I don't want to. The location is convenient for me. It's close to my work, the grocery store is nearby, and my friend doesn't live very far away."

"You can just Apparate."

"I don't know how to Apparate."

"We'll Apparate you around."

"No, thank you," she sniffled. "I refuse to be babysat."

"Fine. Fine." Regulus huffed.

She eyed him warily, surprised that he'd given it up. He seemed so insistent.

⚜

Regulus had, in fact, not given it up.

She glared at him with her lips drawn into a thin line as he whistled, his hair a jarring shade of blonde to disguise his true identity. "I can't believe you're following me everywhere."

"I'm not following you anywhere. You happened to want to go to Hogsmeade, and so did I."

"You said you have work."

"It conveniently finished soon."

"Won't you get fired?"

"For what?" he asked innocently. "I did all my work."

"In two minutes?"

"Yes. I'm efficient."

She shook her head at him, bemused, and he grinned, pulling her close to him and firmly kissing her. "You really shouldn't constantly worry about things."

"Says the man who's following me around after one small incident."

"I'm not following you around."

"Sure you aren't. If you weren't following me around, you'd actually go to that shop and buy that set of quills you've been staring at with so much desperation. You aren't very subtle, by the way."

He sniffed. "I don't need quills."

"Just go. I'll go to that pub and wait there, in sight of everybody."

He didn't need to be told twice, instantly bolting, and she snickered.

Here I thought that we had the forbidden love story.

⚜

He hadn't realised how drastically Grimmauld Place had impacted him until he finally got to live life outside its walls.

Outside, the world was... light. Light from sunshine, light from buildings. Light heart, light mind, light soul. Light from candles blown out to celebrate an occasion, lights being switched on to welcome someone home, lights lining rollercoasters and streets.

Inside, his world was not unlike Azkaban: it grew sky-high walls so only the wrong people could enter, his vision was tinted a few shades darker and he could feel himself going a little more insane as words begged to escape his mind through his lips.

Right now, his world was like Azkaban. He could even feel the house growing steel bars like Muggle jails. It felt like the walls were closing in on him. Everything within the house had been filling him with a sense of panic as of late: the elf-heads whose blank gazes always seemed to be focused on him, the particles of dust lining untouched surfaces in the house, the portraits of his ancestors that seemed to stare at him reproachfully. Perhaps it was the impending sense of danger because he was now technically a double agent, or the guilt because he was betraying his own blood, or because he knew that his world was changing and the things in the house that once meant something to him had entirely different meanings now. He wasn't sure when the switch had happened, when he went from calling people Mudbloods to Muggles or bloodtraitors to just...ordinary wizards. He didn't have an exact date for when his mother's rants on the Black legacy left him with more tiredness than passion, or for when listening to the deeds of the Dark Lord left him with more horror than general detachment, or for when listening to his mother talk about how he was the better son left him confused and exhausted rather than jubilant.

He would never tell Alessandra or Sirius anybody this because he knew they'd instantly be concerned. Alessandra would probably talk him into talking about it with his mother and Sirius would probably come in, wand blazing, and knock his mother out. The two of them would probably collaborate to kidnap him and never let him go back. Alessandra would be proud of him for being progressive, and Sirius would congratulate him for having a mind of his own...

And why was that such a bad idea?

He wasn't quite sure. Maybe he had a sense of loyalty to his ancestors and his mother - they were his blood. Completely breaking away from them meant he was giving up on him, and hadn't they given him a life of luxury? A roof over his head, good clothes on his back, food on his plate.

He didn't know what to do anymore. There was only so long he could go hiding everything.

"Regulus," his mother called out from the ground floor, and he startled. That was odd: his mother never called for him, only ordered Kreacher to summon him. He pushed away from his desk and ran a hand down his tie as though trying to calm his heart that was beating out of control - that was another thing that had been happening a lot often lately: whenever his mother called, he panicked.

He left the room and slowly walked down, not sure of what was waiting down there for him. He swung the door to a room open, and there his mother sat in all her glory, grey eyes staring into the lone burning candle in the room as if she was expecting it to unveil all the secrets the world had to offer... which was ridiculous because she thought Divination was ridiculous.

"Mother," he said politely, but even the word didn't seem to hold anything. It just seemed...empty. A container.

"Sit down," she said pleasantly.

Regulus hesitantly pulled out a mahogany chair opposite to her and sat down, dragging out his movement as much as possible so they could delay this.

"Yes?" he asked, a few moments of silence having passed after he sat down. The atmosphere in the room was thick and heavy and charged, and that bloody scented candle wasn't stopping his head from spinning either.

"I wanted to ask you something."

Oh no. "Go ahead," he exhaled heavily.

"Are you seeing that girl still? After I told you not to?"

He paused, thinking things through. "Who?"

"That Rosier blood traitor."

He took a deep breath, trying to control all the bitter feelings that rose up in him when he heard her use that title for a girl who had done absolutely nothing to his mother. He wanted to snap at his mother to not call her or anybody that, yell at her for believing in that kind of pretentious shit, maybe break a thing or two, and it took every bit of his self-restraint not to do that. He just felt so irritated with the situation. Everything would've been so much easier if his mother had been supportive.

Everything would have been different.

"Does it matter?" Regulus asked calmly, surprising himself because he didn't outright say no and because his voice was actually level, cool, not giving away how he truly felt.

"What do you mean, does it matter? That girl is nothing but trouble!" she snapped, not even bother to keep her voice down, and he closed his eyes in annoyance. "Do you not see what she's doing to you? You go out and come back at the dead of night, looking like some drunkard. You don't bother keeping up appearances, running around in the rain like some lunatic. You're even wearing some cheap Muggle ring now, probably something she picked up off of the streets!"

"Mother, I am 18. I am a legal adult. I can do whatever I want."

"Not at the cost of the pride of our House. You are tarnishing the name of our house, running around with filth-"

"-what do you mean, filth?" he sneered, his temper rising. He didn't want to push his mother or upset her, but she was taking it too far. What was he supposed to do, just isolate himself and do whatever she wanted him to do for the rest of his life? It was frustrating him, seeing the way Alessandra and his brother had the liberty to run around like free spirits and not having the same freedom for himself.

"She's been raised by Mudblood filth, she's just as bad as them. Even if she's not some filthy squib, she's a blood traitor who has no idea how our world works."

"She's said absolutely nothing to you, I do recall that it was you who was being unwelcoming the entire time. I thought you'd be thankful, seeing as she saved your last son."

"AND WHAT GOOD IS HAVING A SON IF HE'S A DISGRACE TO SOCIETY?!" she screeched, getting up and sending the chair falling back. "WHAT GOOD IS HAVING A SON WHO WILL REFUSE TO RESPECT HIS FAMILY AND HIS BELIEFS? I DO NOT KNOW WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU, BUT GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, OR YOU WILL BE LIVING ON THE STREETS, REGULUS. I WILL NOT HAVE YOU MARRYING SOME BLOODTRAITOR WHO'S CLEARLY JUST WHORING HERSELF OUT, DESPERATE FOR ANY SIGN OF GOLD SHE CAN SNATCH UP, I WILL NOT BE CHEATED BY SOME-"

"Then maybe you shouldn't have had children at all!" he roared, getting up as well, the anger within him finally erupting and rolling off of him in waves. "All our lives you've done nothing but criticize us, and I'm sick of it! You couldn't care less about the two of us, it's always just heirs and reputation. There's a reason why Sirius left, and it's because you're a horrible mother and this is a horrible family."

"How dare-"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WILL HAVE AND WHAT YOU WON'T HAVE. I AM A LEGAL ADULT AND AM FREE TO DO WHATEVER I WANT, SO YOU CAN EITHER ACCEPT IT OR LOSE YOUR LAST SON."

Silence descended on the house, and Regulus was vaguely aware of the fact that in a corner somewhere, Kreacher was gawking at them both, eyes wider than they already were. His heart was thundering too fast, and he was worried that he was going to pass out or something because the world was spinning and there was a roaring in his ears. He turned around and staggered towards the door, grabbing his coat on the way.

"Where- where are you going?" his mother called out feebly. 

"For a fucking walk. Are you going to follow me around for that too?" he snapped.

He slammed the door shut behind him, the echo of the loud sound in the empty night leaving a grim sense of satisfaction within him.

Merlin, he could not keep living like this. He was sick of it. He was sick of the hiding and sick of the judgment and just sick of everything.

⚜